NOTE: Again, the scene in italics is not mine. It is from the shooting script for "Family."
_____________________________________________Chosen Family - Part 3
Tara sat on a park bench on the UCS campus. She was feeling terribly guilty about the blinding spell she had done on her friends.
She had run into her Cousin Beth on the way back from the Magic Box, after doing the spell. Beth had offered to help her pack. Tara had told Beth, she wasn't returning home with them. Beth had gotten irritated and called her selfish. She had also guessed that Tara had done a spell on her friends, so they wouldn't see Tara's demon side. Beth had threatened to tell Tara's father about the spell.
Tara knew it wasn't an idle threat. Beth had always ratted her out, to her father, when they were little. Whenever Beth found Tara and her mother practicing magic, she would run and tell Tara's father. Tara's punishment would be a severe beating at the hands of her father. Beth had always been jealous of Tara. She had come to live with the Maclay's when she was eight years old. Both of her parents had been killed in a car accident. While Tara's mother loved her sister's only child, it was clear Beth did not have the talent or the discipline to be a good witch. She did not pay attention and would not study. Tara, who was two years younger than Beth, soon surpased the orphaned girl in magical ability. Beth found favor with her uncle by protesting her aunt and cousin's use of magic, as vehemently as he did.
Tara knew she had to tell her friends what she had done before her father did. Then, she had to tell them the truth about herself. Maybe if she was honest, she would still be able to salvage some of the relationship.
She worried mostly about Willow, of course. What would she think of the things she had done? Willow was a pretty understanding person, but she had been hurt before. 'What if she couldn't forgive me?' Tara thought. 'What if she never trusts me again? How did I let things get so messed up? I have to fix it. I have to tell them the truth.'
She hurried back toward the Magic Box, hoping she got there before her father or cousin.
*****
Tara entered the Magic Box and gasped. She saw a demon creeping up behind Buffy.
"Buffy behind you!"
Buffy spins as the thing pounces. She tries to hold it off. It throws her over the table, comes at her again.
The demon comes for an exhausted Buffy. It grabs her throat -- and Xander makes a game attempt at grabbing for it from behind. It shrugs him off, nails Buffy a couple of times.
"Where is it? Tara can you see it?"
Tara realizes they can't see it.
"Oh God..."
She rushes forward.
"Blind Cadria, lift your veil,
give evil form and break my spell--"
The demon turns as she speaks the last -- it pounces on her, slams her down into the counter.
Buffy jumps on its back.
Tara's family rushes in, Dad seeing the beast over his daughter --
"Tara!"
The beast throws Buffy off and goes for the dad -- he stumbles and falls -- Buffy sweeps its legs out from under it, landing it with its chin slamming down on the top step, just in front of dad. She gets to her feet in a blur, plants a foot at the back of its neck and CRUNCH! -- snaps it brutally.
There is a quiet moment as everyone recovers from the action. Xander goes to check on Anya. Giles helps Dawn out from under the desk. Buffy stands before Mr. Maclay, who is still on the ground, staring at the body of the last Lei-ach demon.
"What in the name of God is that...?"
Spike pipes up from the back, entering.
"Lei-ach Demon. Fun little buggers; big with the marrow-sucking."
"I don't understand..."
"I'm not sure I do either."
Buffy is looking over at Tara, who is still hunched by the counter. She is desperately unhappy.
"I'm sorry...I'm s-so sorry..."
Willow starts toward Tara slowly, confused.
"I w-was just trying to hide...the spell went wrong..."
"Tara, what..."
"I didn't want you to see...what I am."
"What are you?"
"I told you, you try to run from it you'll put these people in danger. (re: demon) And, my God..."
"I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt."
"I think you better explain. What do you mean, what you are?"
Buffy is staring at Tara, and she doesn't sound too pleased.
Tara can't get past her stutter before her father speaks.
"Demon."
Willow looks astonished at her love, no idea what to do.
"The women in our family have...demon in them. Her mother had it, it's where the magic comes from. This isn't something we generally like to share with strangers. We came to take her home before...well, before things like this started happening."
"Tara you're not...how could you not say something..."
Tara still can't answer - can hardly look at Willow.
"You put a spell on us to keep us from seeing your demon side. That's why we couldn't see our attackers."
Buffy looking at Dawn. "Nearly got us killed."
Tara rises, trying to steady her emotions.
"I'll go. (to everyone) I'm very sorry."
"The camper's outside."
"Wait! Go? She just did a spell that went wrong! Buffy, it was just a mistake!"
"It's not the point and it's not your concern. The girl belongs with us. We know how to control her problem."
"Tara, look at me. (she does) I trusted you more than anyone in my life. Was all of that a lie?"
"No! No..."
"Do you want to leave?"
The tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"I have to go. I'm sorry."
Tara's father took her by the arm and led her towards the shop exit. Willow rushed after her.
"Tara, no. Don't leave," she cried.
But Tara was gone. Willow turned back to her friends. They were all staring at her, still dumstruck from the recent events. Willow looked as if she might collapse. Buffy broke the silence.
"What the hell was that all about, Will?"
"I don't know. I need to go and talk to her." Willow started for the door, but Xander grabbed her shoulder.
"Willow wait. She looked pretty upset. Maybe you should give her a little time to pull herself together. Then, go and talk to her."
"Yeah," Willow agreed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I guess you're right. I'm fairly freaked myself, right now."
"I can't believe she did a spell on us," Anya said.
"Yeah, and not the good kind of spell," Xander said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Do shut up, Xander," Giles said flatly.
"What do you think her father meant about her being a demon?" Buffy asked.
"I don't know." Willow frowned. She thought for a moment and then a look of sheer panic crossed her face. "Oh God!"
"What is it Willow?" Giles asked alarmed.
"We tried to do a spell once. To locate demons in the area. We were trying to find Adam. The spell didn't work."
Xander interrupted. "Well, you know Will, your spells aren't always right on."
Giles, Dawn and Buffy simultaneously said, "Shut up, Xander."
Willow continued. "I asked her to do the spell again, tonight. To help find the new demon girl. She didn't want to. Oh God! She must really be a demon."
The expression on Willow's face was one of horror.
"I don't think you should jump to any conclusions." Giles said evenly.
"I have to go. I have to talk to her, NOW."
Willow ran out of the shop towards Tara's dorm room.
*****
The tears were a steady stream down Tara's face as her father drove her back to the campus. She kept seeing Willow's stricken look, over and over again.
This wasn't what was supposed to happen. It didn't even occur to her that the spell would keep them from seeing all demons. She only wanted to hide herself. Now, she had put them all in danger. Buffy was right. They had almost been killed. She was responsilbe. She had almost killed Willow.
A fresh wave of tears flooded her cheeks. Her father, Donny and Beth said nothing on the short ride back to the dorm. When they arrived, her father asked.
"Do you need any help with your packing?"
"N-no," she wiped her tear-stained face. "I just w-want to be alone."
"We'll pick you up in the morning," he said without emotion.
She climbed out of the camper and closed the door. She walked with her head down back to her room.
Inside her room, she began to pack her things. It was a slow, painful process. Each item she picked up reminded her of Willow, in one way or another. She would relive each moment in her mind.
Pressed between the pages of her favorite book was the stem from the rose they had floated, the first night Willow came to her dorm room. There was her box full of movie stubs, from all the films she had seen with Willow. In her top desk drawer was a stack of love letter, from Willow, neatly tied with a ribbon.
She sat on the edge of her bed with the extra flamey candle in her hand. She wondered if Willow would have chosen her, over Oz, if she had know the truth. They had spent that entire night, and a good part of the next morning, making love. It was perfect. It was always perfect with Willow. The blissful memory was replaced with Willow's question.
"What are you?"
"What are you?"
"What are you?"
It echoed over and over again until she could no longer stand it.
Suddenly, the door burst open and Willow ran into the room. She was out of breath, panting heavily, from having run all the way to the dorm.
"Tara...thank God...still here..."
"Willow, please." The blonde couldn't look at her. She kept her eyes down on the floor.
Willow regained her breath and spoke more normally.
"Tara, we have to talk about what happened."
"I can't do this right now, Willow." The blonde went back to packing her things.
"Well, that's too bad cause we're gonna do this, right now," she said with full resolve face.
Tara's red, swollen eyes locked on to Willow's green orbs. Willow's face was full of fear. 'Is she afraid of me? Of what I am?' Tara thought.
"So, you're just gonna leave town. That's it. No explanation." Willow's tone was harsh, but controlled.
"I have to go," Tara said softly.
"No, you have to tell me what this is all about."
"My father explained everything." She folded another sweater into the open suitcase on the bed.
"So, you've known about this since we met? How could you not tell me?"
Tara looked over at Willow.
"Because I never wanted to see you look at me the way you are right now."
The tears filled Willow's eyes.
"I don't understand this," Willow cried.
"I never meant to hurt you." Tara resisted the urge to go and comfort Willow. "I do love you, Willow. But I can't stay. Not right now." Tara's heart was breaking. She wanted to hold her girl in her arms.
"But I can help you. We all can. That's what we do," the redhead pleaded.
"I have to find out about this thing inside me. Whether I can control it or not. Otherwise, I'm not safe to be around."
Willow shook her head and sighed heavily.
"I've heard this speech before. It ends with me finding an empty dorm room and not hearing from you for months."
"I have to go."
"Are you saying you want to leave me?"
"No, but it's for the best."
"I thought we were in this relationship together. How come you get to decide what's best for us?"
Tara was taken aback by Willow's question. She thought for a moment and then answered.
"How long before you start wondering, Will? Wondering what kind of monster I am. A day? A week? Or have you already started?"
Willow was silent.
"Are you really ready to pick up this relationship where we left off? All of it?"
"You should at least stay, so we can do this together."
"I need to do this on my own. If you love me at all, you'll let me go. Please."
"Will you call me?" Willow asked just above a whisper.
"Yes. Let's just give it some time first."
Willow moved forward to hug Tara. She was stunned when Tara took a step back from her. The blonde lowered her eyes, to escape the pain on Willow's face. Willow turned and left without another word, closing the door behind her.
Inside her room, Tara broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. She wanted nothing more than to run after Willow and hold her forever. Her shame and fear kept her grounded. When she finally stopped crying, she returned to her packing. As she boxed up her possessions, she wondered if her love for the redhead would be another treasure she would have to lock away forever.
She pulled out the stack of love letters, placed carefully in her suitcase. She removed the top one from the pile and carefully pulled the leter out of the envelope. She had memorized every word, from the millions of time she had read the letter. The beautiful words were written the day after she and Willow had made love for the first time.
My Darling Tara,
There simply aren't words adequate enough to describe the love I have for you in my heart. What we shared last night was the most special and the most significant moment of my life. If it is at all possible to find heaven on earth, than I believe that place has to be in you embrace. Making love with you was all that I had dreamed of and more. I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms for the rest of our days. Your love fulfills me and I am overwhelmed, with joy and happiness and mostly love. I thank the Goddesses for the wonderful gift of having you in my life. I love you!
Yours Always,
Willow
Tara carefully re-folded the paper and returned it to it's envelope. She wiped the tears from her eyes, as she placed the letter with the others. She made a promise to herself, aloud.
"I will find my way back to you, Willow."
She looked at her clock.
12:01am
It was her birthday.
TBC
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She's my everything!
