FF: Would you forgive me?

[Willowfan]

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. It's Joss' world, I'm just playing in it. I don't own the song, either. It's Alanis Morrissette's. the Last track on Jagged Little Pill, 5:12 into the song.
Spoilers: The Breakup in Season 6.
Angst: Um...Yeah, duh. Our two favorite people are going through hell...there's gonna be angst. The ending is sad...
View: I chose to do this from Tara's view. Since the breakup I've seen a ton of stuff done from Willow's POV but not hardly any from Tara's. I think she's going through just as much hell as Willow is, if not more.

I...Went to your house, I walked up the stairs and opend your door without ringing the bell...

Tara approached the Summers home and paused, she shouldn't be here. Her and Willow had been apart for awhile now, and it ws like a nightmare. One she hoped would end soon, but it would be a long time before she could trust Willow again.
She tried the door, and it opened. She knew everyone was gone, at the Magic Box most likely.'I'll just get a few thing's and be gone..I swear' tara told herself...she almost believed it.

I...walked down the hall, into your room, where I could smell you...And I should'nt be here..without permission, I shouldn't be here...

Willow's scent hit her as soon as she opened the door that the two had shared for months. This was no longer her room..it was willows. Looking around she noticed how odd it seemed. It was very plain. No candles, no charms, and not even some flowers. Willow was trying so hard. She had gotten rid of everything that would tempt her. A tear welled in Tara's eyes as she thought of the redhead, succombing to the power. She had fought so hard, but the battle was far from over.

Would you forgive me love, If I danced in your shower, Would you forgive me love, If I layed in your bed, Would you forgive me love, If I stayed all afternoon?

Unable to control herself, Tara lay down on Willows bed and inhaled the Jasmine scent of her soulmate. it was strongest on the right...Willow hadn't moved to take ovwer the whole bed yet...Tara cried. It would be so easy to come back. Willow would welcome her with tear filled eyes and open arms. Tara wanted nothing more than to run back, but her love for Willow was to strong. Willow had a long, hard road ahead. This journey had to be made alone, she couldn't be Willow's crutch. She could encourage and support her. She could love her and wait for her to emerge from the darkness. Tara stood.I was just so hard..."Hurry back to me love..." Tara walked to the closet and opened the door.

I...took off my clothes, put on your robe, went through your drawers and found your perfume.

There, on a hook on the door was a crimson silk robe. Tara had gotten it for Willow for her birthday. It was the last thing she had bought for Willow. Caressing the silk, she pulled the robe off of the hook. She removed her blouse and skirt, slipping the floor length robe on. She closed her eyes as Willow scent engulfed her. The silk carressed her body and Tara smiled. She felt right, here...home. Willow was her everything. She went to the drawer and pulled out Willow perfume and smelled it. She was everywhere. Memories of thier love flooded Tara and she gathered some of her things. A sweater, cargo pants, a baret...little things she could have easily lived without. Tara sighed. ' Why am I here?' she thought. Inhaling, she knew instantly...Willow.

I...went down to the den, found your CD's and listened to your Joanie, and I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon...I shouldn't stay long. Would you forgive me love, If I danced in your shower, would you forgive me love, If I layed in your bed, Would you forgive me love, If I stayed all afternoon?

Making her way down the stairs, Tara spied some of Willow's cd's on the stereo. Putting one in she listened to the songs. She glanced at the clock and chided herself. It was late, Willow and Buffy would be home soon, she knew. It was best if she left before then.

I...burned your insence, I ran a bath...I noticed a letter that sat on your desk....

Tara couldn't stand it. The room was too baron, to sterile. Taking out a bit of insence, she moved into the bathroom and started the water, putting Willows favorite bath beads into it. Lighting the insence she smiled. The smell of Willow started to permeate everything. Walking out of the bathroom, she saw a letter on the dresser.

It said Hello, love. I miss you so Love, meet me at midnight...

Tara felt her chest tighten. He head spun and her throat costricted. Feeling feint she starrered to the bed Willow and her shared and sat, tears pouring down her face as great sobs racked her body.

And no...it wasn't my writing, I better go soon...it wasn't my writing....

Tara stumbled to the bathroom and drained the tub,

So forgive me love, If I cry in your shower...

She went to gather the few possessions she had gotten together and leaned into Willow's pillow again, trying to memorize the scent she knew she would never forget...

So forgive me love, for the salt on your bed...

Walking down the stairs in a numb stupor Tara felt her world torn apart. Willow. Her Willow, her world and her everything was no longer hers. Great heving sobs wracked her body and she fell onto the door facing, crying out seven months of pain. She had no right to be feel this loss. Willow was no longer hers, was she? She opened the door and moved into the night, leaving her world behind her. Tomorrow would be here soon. 'Tomorrow...tomorrow would be better.' she told herself.

So forgive me Love, If I cry all afternoon.....

Epilogue:

Buffy ran up the stairs to Willow's room and knocked on the door. "Hey Willow, open the door... need to check myself..." she was nervous and excited. The main bathroom was being torn apart to fix some of the old pipes and the whole house was forced to use the little half-bath in the master bedroom. No answer forthcoming, She turned the knob. Willow sat on the bed, a crumpled piece of paper in her hands. She was crying. "Will?" she asked her friend, concern etched in her face. "Something wrong?" Willow pointed to the pile of ash on her dresser. Insence. "I don't have any insence, Buffy. I got rid of all of it." she sobbed. "A couple of Tara's things are gone, too." she wiped her eyes. "So...Tara came and got some of her stuff. You upset cause she didn't stay to see you?" Buffy sat next to Willow on the bad, rubbing her friends back trying to be supportive. The breakup had been hard on her, and Willow need her friends now more than ever. " No...well yes...but no. Here." she handed the paper she was holding to Buffy. Buffy scanned the contenets. It was from Angel. "I missed you. I'll be at our usual place at midnight. I love you." She smiled. That was Angel, short and sweet.She noticed the dried teardrops on the page. "Geez, Will. I know you miss Tara but you didn't have to cry on my letter." She joked, trying to lighten the mood. Willow only looked at her friend with red eyes. "I didn't Buffy...I found it on my bed...Tara..." she couldn't finish. Buffy looked back at the letter and realization set in. She had left the letter on the dresser in here while she showered, and must have forgotten it before they all left earlier today. Tara must have found the very vague note...in willow's room..."Oh god, willow..." she embraced her friend. "Go find her...we'll go find her. I...I'll explain everything..." she stammered, standing. The pain in Willow's eyes was overbearing. "What about Angel?' Willow stood, secretly glad for Buffy's help. Buffy smiled. "Angel's going to live forever, I know he'll understand. Let's go find your girl." Buffy and Willow hurried down the stairs and rushed off to right a great wrong.

Finis.

Feedback please...This is my first FanFic. Please...be gentle. *Cringes, awaiting a reply.*

Ok...I'm a feedback whore!! use me...abuse me!! I just learned that funky HTML stuff so I can Italisize and Bold stuff...hey..I think it's cool...
So I ITAl the song parts.
Willowfan

[This message has been edited by Willowfan (edited February 27, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Willowfan (edited March 16, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Willowfan (edited March 16, 2002).]

[ForeverPiper]

I liked it. Pretty good. One thing though, you're story ended when it should have just started. What happens next? Do they find Tara? What do they say to each other? You should try writing another part, but even if you don't that's okay too.

[Willowfan]

Well...it was written to be a one shot for the song. But if enough people want, I can keep it going. I just didn't want step on the canon. But I have other Ideas, I could write on them.
Thanks for your encouragement...
Willowfan

[Kel]

yes, yes, yes do keep going with this please.

i liked the song you used, but poor tara! but willow and buffy will make everything ok

Kel

[nika]

willowfan that was beautiful. Those images of Tara tugged right at my heart strings. You really should continue this.

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"The word 'GULP!'comes to mind." Tara

[wiltar]

Come on, move your butt and start writing!

I want to read mooooooooooore

Patricia

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"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"

[KittyKo]

It's very touching indeed.
Really great combination of the song and Tara's feelings. Very touching Willowfan, please write more if you can. *snif*

[Willowfan]

Ok...I guess I'm writing more. Be warned...Spike will be there, as well as Angel and some other surprises. I'll try to have it up on the 28th. If not, will definatly be out on the 1st.
Thank you all for your support.
Willowfan

[Willowfan]

Disclaimers on't own em, wish I did.
Spoilers: None I can think of.

This is just some short blurb in between classes. I'll do more tonight.

________________________________________

Tara knew better than to go thru Sunnydale at night. She had been battling demons with Buffy and the scoobies for almost two years now. But she couldn't stay in the house another second. Her Willow, her darling Willow, was meeting someone else. Tears streamed down her face as she walked the streets. Heaving sobs racked her frame as she thought of Willow touching someone else. Saying 'I love You' to someone else. Her stomach churned and a wave of nausea washed over her. She tried to force the feelings away. She had broken up with Willow. It wasn't fair, but she always assumed that when Willow got over her...problem...she would come back to her soulmate. Tara had no right to feel like this, she let Willow go. The realization didn't help her pain. Her heart refused to listen to her logic. Logic is cold, emotionless. The heart is warm and full of fire, "...fire, like Willows hair...oh god..." her body doubled over, she dropped to the ground and cried.
The figure in the ally across from Tara shook his head. He'd seen the witch home every time she ventured out. He had never seen her like this. She was in serious pain, and it stirred something in him that was dead fro a long time. Spike stepped out of the shadows and crossed the deserted street, stopping in front of Tara. "Bit late for you to be wandering about, isn't it love?" he asked, flicking a cigerette away. Tara mearly looked up at Spike and shook her head. "N-not now Spike..please." Spike bit off his usual retort. "Right then...let's get you home." He reached around Tara and gently lifted her up. The fact that he was so gentle was lost on Tara in her grief. "Why did I leave her?" she asked noone inparticular. "Who, Red?" Spike felt the need to reply. "Well, she was goin' all Dark Side on you, mucking with your brain." Spike led Tara through a cemetary. "She shoulda known better, what with all Glory did." he admonished. Tara nodded. "How come you can see that, but she can't?" Tara asked quietly, wiping her wet face.
Spike stopped and turned to Tara. "She can, Tara." Tara raised an eyebrow. It was the first time Spike really used her name. Not love, pet or bird...he said Tara. "She's been a mess without you. She can't eat, sleep or do anything except lay in her bed and whimper."he snorted. Tara smiled slightly. Of course Spike wasn't going to get all mushy. "Well, s-she found someone else. S-she'll be making new m-memories with them now." Tara folded her arms across her chest. "What?!" Spike blanched. "Want me to bite em?" he asked, putting on his 'game face'. tara actually smiled. "No Spike...b-but thank you." She started to walk again. "Anything I can do to help." he smiled. He never saw the attackers.

____________________________________________

Willow was in full panic mode. They had already checked the Magic Box, Tara's new apartment and the school. There weren't that many places left in Sunnydale. Buffy suggested the Bronze, but Willow knew Tara would not go there by herself. She lay in the back of Buffy's Jeep when Buffy slammed on the brakes. "Tara!!" Willow bolted upright. "No."Buffy answered. "Angel."
Angel walked over to the car and smiled disarmingly. "Hey. I didn't think I would see you. Hey, Willow." he nodded to Willow who only flopped back down. "Problems?" he asked Buffy. "We're looking for Tara. She found your note in Willows room, I guess she thought it was for Willow." Buffy looked at her friend, who was staring into space, tears sliding slowly down her cheek. Her bottom lip quivered and she looked like she would burst anytime.
"Can I help?' Angel asked. Buffy nodded. "Please," she whispered, " It is Sunnydale, and it's after dark. I don't want to think about the things that could happen to Tara." Buffy looked back at Willow. Angel nodded understanding. "I'll patrol the cemetaries, see if anythings up. Meet back at your place at dawn?" He asked. Buffy mearly nodded. Angel jogged across the street and disappeared. "We'll find her Will...I promise." Buffy said to her friend. Willow only cried.
____________________________________________

Tara saw the figures move, and that alone was enough to tell they were Vampires. Six of them, moving so swiftly and gracefully they took the pair by surprise. Spike took four at once, his feet kicking and his arms flailing madly, trying to keep himself between Tara and the attackers. What they had in numbers, Spike more than made up for in age. He hadn't been around as long as he was for no reason. He was brutal. Grabbing a close one, he spun the vampire around and snapped it's neck, dropping it. it would heal, but not for awhile. The next two swung at him, each connecting. Spike felt bone splinter under thier force. This made him angry. Lashing out, he caught one in the crotch and lifted it off the ground, throwing it twenty feet. Then whipping out a stake, he plunged it into first the one that punched him, then the paralyzed one. He turned on the last and watched as it fled. "Why do they run?" he muttered, whipping the stake through the air impaling the escaping demon. He turned to see Tara mutter a word in an ancient language and hurl a ball of light at one vampire. It knocked the vampire back thirty feet and incenerated it. She didn't see the one behind her.
Time slowed down to a crawl. The vamp grabbed Tara and pushed her head back, revealing her throat. Spike ran. Tara screamed as the creature sank it's fangs into her flesh and began gorging itself on her blood. Her eyes dimmed, the last thing she saw was a black clad figure tackle Spike from behind, before she blacked out.
_________________________________________

I'll post more tonight.
Please don't kill me.
Willowfan

[Kel]

OMG tonight??? why tonight, why not NOW????

i love this!!!

Kel

[Pixie]

What! You can't leave us hanging!! Oh, grumble, grumble, cliffhanger, yadda, yadda. I am enjoying this as well. I'm a little thrown by having Angel back in Sunnydale, with him and Buffy together, but I'm still hooked.

[Katharyn]

Very, very nice Willowfan. Good use of the song and the links around that. I must admit that I preferred part one (but only because of that song - getting my Jagged Little Pill out and listening to it now!) but part 2 is good too...

Keep it coming.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?

[Willowfan]

Ok...Sorry for the mix up. Buffy and Angel are NOT together. he's just visiting. And as for suspense...hehehe...soryy, but I have class first. But I'm working on the story in my head.
Willowfan

[Willowfan]

"NOOO!" Spike yelled. Pumping all of his considerable supernatural might into his legs,he pumped them furiously. Tara was bit...he had to get to her before the vampire did herserious, permanent damage. Vampires could drain a victim in under four seconds. Spike had used one to react. Now he was in full motion, 'and noone had better get in my way'
Barreling towards Tara, he didn't notice the dark form running at him. It smashed into him and he felt three ribs snap. He didn't go down. White hot pain seared his sides,but he trugged on. Fists of iron pounded mercilessly into his side. The pain was coming in waves, but still he didn't stop. Finally, the figure punched an anvil into his face,shattering his nose and splitting his skull above his eye. He could feel his own blood welling in his brain. Blackness was threatening to consume him. His only thought was of Tara. She had been the only one of the Scoobies to treat him with the slightest bit of respect. Besides Dawn, Tara saw him as something more than a monster. No one had looked at him like that in a long time. He didn't feel anything sexual towards her, he felt more like a man with her and less than a monster. She was always a sympathetic ear, she was always kind to him. When she needed him the most, he failed her. Blackness consumed him and he fell.
Tara felt the blood flowing from her body, felt her life slipping away. Ahe only
had a few seconds to react. Spike was jumped by a demon and his injuries were severe.
Shouting a word in latin, she threw a handful of herbs over her shoulder. She hoped it would work, she gurgled the word and the magic was sluggish. The vampire let loose an unnatural scream and disentegrated. Coughing, Tara dropped to the ground and grabbed her throat. The damage was considerable. She could feel the blood pouring through her fingers. Strong hands lifted her from behind and turned her around. Buffy looked at her neck with terror in her eyes.
"Oh god..Tara." Buffy breathed. She saw the fight from afar and ran. The vampire
had began drinking already and she didn't have time for pleasentries. She pulled her stake and plunged it through the creatures chest. It dusted and Buffy dropped the stake to catch Tara. She needed help, and now. Buffy looked up and saw Angel beating one of the vampires, but the creature was refusing to stay down. Angel was vamped out and at full strength. She could hear bones breaking and carteledge snapping, but still the creature came. Then, Buffy saw the platinum hair. "Angel, NO!!" she yelled. "It's Spike!" Angel spun with a confused look on his face, morphing back to normal. "Yeah?" he asked, claerly confused. "He's a good guy now." Buffy craddled Tara and stood. Spike jumped up and tried to run to Tara, but his leg gave out with a sickening snap bending at an odd angle. He yelled but kept crawling. "What are you waiting for, slayer." he coughed up blood and spit into the grass." Get her out of here." Buffy turned and ran to the Jeep. Spike turned to Angel and sneered. "If she dies...I'll hunt you down and make you pay...I swear it Angelous." Angel had never seen Spike like this. Tears were in his eyes, but that
could be from the pain he was in. By all rights, Spike should be in a coma. "I...I didn't know..I thought you were attacking her." Angel stammered. Angel was reaching for
Spike when the scream pierced the air. Spike jumped up and grabbed Angel. "Get me to
the hospital...NOW!" he yelled through clenched teeth. Angel nodded and half carried
Angel to his car.
___________________________________________________________________
Willow saw Buffy running up with Tara in her arms. opening the door, she saw
all the blood. She screamed and ran to Bufy, craddling her former lovers head."She was
attacked...vamps." Buffy laid her into the back seat as quickly as she could, being as
careful as che could. Jumping into the back seat, she brushed Tara's blood soaked hair
out of her face. "Oh god baby.." she cried, heavy tears rolling down her face and
spattering onto her lovers face. Willow was wiping her lovers face with a handkerchif,
but all it did was smear the blood. "Faster Buffy...goddess please..go faster." Willow's
voice was hysterical and breaking. "PLEASE!!"she wailed, rocking Tara's head.
"Please...don't die...please goddess no!!"
Buffy had the peddle pressed to the floor. The Jeep was doing ninety, the only
thing keeping it from crashing into anything was Buffy's superhuman coordination.
Buffy 's brow was furrowed in concentration as she sped through the town. Tara would
not die. She would be ok..she had to be. Buffy spun the wheel and slammed the brakes,
almost tipping the car. Jumping out of the car, she ran to the back door and practically
ripped it off it's hinges. The metel twisted so it would never close again, but she had
Tara. Running to the emergency room door, Buffy kicked at the doors moving to slowly.
The metel frame twisted and the glass shattered. Buffy ran through the doorway and
yelled. "HELP ME!!" she screamed. Two nurses ran to Buffy with a bed. Buffy placed
her down gently and stepped back. Willow ran with the nurses.
"Miss...you have to stay here." A nurse from the nurses station rushed out to grab
Willow. She got punched in the face for her efforts. Buffy rushed foreward and grabbed
Willow. "Will...WILL" she snapped. "Let the doctors save her Will.." she hugged Willow
to her fiercely, finally letting herself break down. Together, Willow and Buffy slumped
to the floor and cried.
_____________________________________________________________________

An hour later, Angel and Spike walked into the emergency room. Spike ran to
Willow and Buffy, still slumped on the floor against the wall. " Any word...how is she.."
he asked dropping to his knees in front of the two. Buffy just looked up at Spike, her eyes
rimmed with red and puffy. Willow looked at Spike and shook her head. "I tried..god
Willow, I tried." he choked on his words. "There were six of them..I didn't see the others..I...I tried.." he saw the pain in Willow's eyes and tears welled in his own. "I..I tried..." he whispered. Willow untangled from Buffy. Reaching out a hand, she touched Spikes cheek. "I know, Spike...I.." she shivered and wrapped her arms around Spike. "I know..." she whispered to him.
Buffy stood and walked over to Angel. He had a very confused look on his face. "When did...uh.." he gestured to Spike. Buffy followed his glance. " since Glory. He bonded with Dawnie and ...well." Buffy related how Glory tortured him, but he kept Dawn's secret. She told about how he helped them time and again. Angel simply stared at Spike. Seeing him curled on the floor, holding Willow and crying over the fate of a simple girl was surreal. "Tell me more about Tara." he whispered to Buffy, pulling her to the waiting seats. Together, Buffy and Angel talked till almost sunrise.
"Spike." Buffy shook Spike's shoulder. He winced and opened his good eye.
"What is it, Slayer?" he asked slowly. His jaw was swollen almost to the point where he
couldn't speak. His hair hurt. "It's almost dawn. Go back to my place with Angel." she
held out her keys. Spike looked down at Willow, who was sleeping in his lap. She was
clutching his leg in a vise grip. "I'm not going anywhere." he stated adamantely. Buffy
closed her eyes and sighed. "Look, Spike." she said quietly. "You aren't going to be any
help to anyone if your dusted. The sun and you don't exactly agree." she pointed to the
door. The sunlight would flood in at dawn, there would be no where to hide in here.
Clenching his jaw, he looked into Buffy's eyes. "Swear to me.." he started. Blood ran
down the corner of his mouth. Wiping the trail he spoke again. "Swear you'll call when
you hear anything." Buffy nodded. Spike tried to stand, but Willow grasped his leg.
"No..no..." she mumbled in her sleep. Spike layed a hand on her head. "shhh...I'll be back soon, red. I swear." leaning down he kissed her on the back of her head. Willow relaxed.
Buffy scooted under Willow's head as Spike scooted out. Storming past Angel, Spike
turned back to Buffy. " Swear it, Buffy." he locked eyes with Buffy. "You hear anything,
you call. Anything." he choked out the last word. Buffy nodded, knowing full well what he meant. Spike and Angel turned
and went out the door. Buffy stroked Willow's hair and watched the sun rise through the door. "Please...let her be ok." she prayed silently.
______________________________________________________________________

TBC
Willowfan

[Sher]

OK I'm totally into it all... u leave me with a half dead Tara... not liking it... Whatz with the huge cliff hanger!?!?!?! I mini-Willow... not patient!!!!!! When are u going to post again!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Mini-ALF]

I'm so glad you decided to continue the story...it's excellent.

Michelle

[The Next Tara Maclay]

Thats..very...good...continue.

[Pixie]

Great update! And thanks for the explanation of Angel's presence. BTW, I'm still grumbling over the cliffhanger! I know Tara's going to be okay because you wouldn't do that to all us kittens.

2 small bits of feedback: It might make this easier to read if you put a line between paragraphs. Also, it seemed that Spike broke his leg in the fight, and yet he walked out of the hospital with Angel. Did more time pass than I had realized? Although I didn't think vampires could heal quite that fast.

Looking forward to the next part!

[LeatherQueen]

Interesting story. I like the plotline so far.

Good job.

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"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." -Glory

[Willowfan]

Well, an hour passed between the fight and when Spike and Angel showed up. Spike is still pretty banged up, which shows in the scene at the hospital.
I'll post more later tonight.
Willowfan

[Bobo's Mom]

Looking foreward to the update. Great job so far. I'm a big Spike fan, and like the positive light you're using. Good for you!

(And isn't it funny how a small thing like a song gets the fires of inspiration burning?)

BM

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TARA: Willow and I always know how to find each other!
ANYA: With yoga?
****************
BUFFYBOT: That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!

[Willowfan]

Spike was silent the entire trip to Buffy's house. Angel pulled up in front of the house and
put the car in park."Coming in?" Spike asked without looking at Angel. Angel only shook
his head. "I got a place." Spike only nodded. The two sat in the car for a few more
seconds. "Look...Spike." Angel started. "I didn't know. I thought you were trying to hurt
her." he turned to Spike. "Shut your mouth, Angel. Just shut the bloody hell up." Spike
snapped. "That girl does not deserve to have a hair on her head hurt, but she's always
ends up gettin' hurt." Spike shook his head and chuckled under his breath. "Couple of
years ago I woulda sat around and watched as the life was drawn from her. Hell, I
probably would have helped." he sighed.
Angel listened to Spike. "What changed?" he finally asked. Spike shook his head.
"Bloody hell if I now. Damn chip in my noggin stops me from hurting innocents, but
demons.." he paused. "I can smack them around like they were my private playthings.
Anything to fight again, you know? Anything to maim...even helping the slayer." Angel
nodded. "Felt good after awhile...helping. Especially Dawnie." Spike continued. Spike
shook his head and sighed. "Well, I'm going in. You should get someplace safe. I'm going
to call the hospital...go back at dusk." Spike got out and headed up to the house. Angel
drove off.
___________________________________________________________________

Buffy stroked Willow's hair as the small redhead slept. She had been through so
much, giving up the magic, Tara leaving her, everything that happened with Rack and
Amy. Now this. Tara still meant everything in the world to Willow. Every day, Willow
fought her demons for one reason. For Tara. Everything she was revolved around the
blond witch, and she would not recover if .... Buffy couldn't finish the thought. Shaking
her head, she looked at the clock. It had been four hours since they had brought Tara into
the emergency room. They hadn't heard anything on her condition, and that was worrying
Buffy.
"Buffy Summers?" The doctor asked, walking down the hall. Buffy looked up and
nodded. "Will.." she shook the redhead. "Will, wake up." Willow stood and looked
around, reorienting herself. "Wha... Tara?" she asked, wiping the sleep from her eyes.
The two stood, waiting for the doctor to speak. Buffy silently prayed. "How is she..oh
god.." Willow was panicking again. Buffy wrapped her arms around Willow, supporting
her. "Well..." The doctor began. "She lost a lot of blood, and her trachea suffered severe
trauma. It's a miracle, but she's alive and in recovery. Would you like to se her?" The
doctor asked and Willow's eyes beamed. She nodded emphatically. "Come with me,
then." The doctor gestured for Willow and Buffy to follow. Willow reached for Buffy's
hand and grasped it tightly. Buffy stopped. "I gotta make a call." Willow nodded and
hurried after the doctor.
The beeping was muted in the sterile room and Willow gasped. Tara lay on the
bed, bandages wrapped around her face, various tubes and wires leading to different
machines. She was all puffy and swollen, her face bruised and blood seeped through the
bandages. "Oh god...Tara.." Willow's voice was small and choked. She crossed the room
and took Tara's hand. It was cold to the touch. "I'm here baby..I'm right here." she raised
the hand to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on Tara's hand. Big tears fell onto the back of
her hand, and she sobbed. "Baby...come back to me.." she whispered. Willow gazed at
her love, willing her to be ok. Buffy entered and placed a hand on Willow's shoulder.
"Will...you ok?" she asked. Willow shook her head. "No Buffy....I'm not. I can't loose her
again, Buffy. I can't." she sobbed. Buffy squeezed Willows shoulder as a tear slid down
her face.
The front door in the emergency room opened and Spike bolted into the waiting
room, wrapped in a heavy tarp. Smoke was rolling off of him. "Bloody hell" he shouted
and dashed down the corridor. A bewildered nurse watched as the form flew by.
Spike opened the dorr to Tara's room and entered. He spent the last few minutes
putting himself out. "How is she?" he asked. Willow looked up and spoke softly." She's
resting." Spike looked around the room. "It's too dark in here." Spike crossed the room
and threw back the curtains, sunlight spillied into the room scorching his hands. "Bloody
Hell!" he drew back into a corner. "Spike!" Buffy ran to him "That wasn't the brightest
thing you could have done." She examined his hand. "She belongs in the light...not the
darkness. Not for her." he whispered the last to himself.
"Thank you Spike.."Willow looked at him and smiled weakly,"For everything."
Spike coughed and nodded. "Not a big deal, Red." Willow crossed the room and wrapped
her arms around Spike and squeezd. Spike stiffened and then relaxed, hugging her back.
"Red..." he spoke at last. "Yeah." she answered. "My ribs are still broken.." he winced.
"Oh god...I'm sorry..." she stammered, backing away quickly. "w-willow?" Tara's voice
rasped softly. Willow spun and rushed to her love's side. "Tara!" she gingerly took Tara's
hand. "Baby. I'm here...I'm right here..." Tara tried to open her eyes and winced. "ow..."
Willow looked panicked. "what's wrong...should I get a doctor...Buffy call a doctor,
she's in pain. We need medical assistance, hurry. Don't just stand there.." Tara
smiled."willowbabble." Willow looked at her girlfriends smiling face. The smile did
more for Willow's heart then anything else. "Baby... I'm here..I promise. I'm never leaving
you." Tara squeezed Willow's hand and smiled.
____________________________________________________________________
1 week later:

Willow led Tara up the stairs and opened her door. She had the room prepared for
Tara's release. Tara had insisted that she could stay on her own but Buffy, Spike and
Willow outvoted her. "You will stay here, where we can wait on your every need." Buffy
beamed. "Well...not every need...I mean, unless Willow and you...um..that is..." Tara and
Willow each had an amused look on thier faces. "I'm gonna go now." she turned and
hurried out of the room. Tara was propped up in the bed and Willow was busying herself
around the room. She lit some insence, fluffed some pillows and adjusted the
temperature...three times. "Willow...I'm ok...really." she smiled. Willow stopped and
stood at the side of the bed. "I just want you to be comfortable..." she stammered. Tara
nodded and glanced around the room. Memories of her last visit flooded her mind. She
remembered the note and sighed, her chest tightening. "Willow..." she spoke softly.
Willow's eyebrows raised " Yeah..you need something?" she asked eagerly.
Tara's voice stuck in her throat. She didn't want to know, if Willow had found
someone else. She couldn't handle it..."I need to know something..." she stammered. "I
found...a...a letter..." she looked up at Willow, a tear sliding down her cheek. Her blue
eyes were filled with so much fear and so much love that Willow choked. "no baby..no..."
Willow dropped to her knees next to Tara. "No..it was from Angel...Buffy left it in
here....I'm your's baby...I'll always be yours." Willow cried and took Tara's hand.
"Always..." Tara closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Relief washed over her. Tears
welled in her eyes and she squeezed Willows hand. "Willow..I need something.." she
spoke softly. Willow stood, wiping her eyes. "What...something to eat? The doctor said
you shouldn't eat solid foods yet. Your throat is still damaged, it could hurt more...but
hey, I could put something in the blender. A cheeseburger shake, or hey...Pizza. But then
the cheese would be al stuck on the blade thingy's..." Tara smiled. "Willow." she spoke.
Willow closed her mouth and smiled. "Sorry...what do you need?" Tara gazed into her
loves eyes and sighed. "You." she whispered, patting the bed next to her. Willow looked
at the empty spot and her bottom lip quivered. "Are you sure..I mean.." she slowly
crossed the room to the other side of the bed. "Just hold me, Willow...please." Tara
breathed as Willow crawled into the bed. Willow opened her arms and Tara pressed into
Willow's form, molding herself into position. She found the familiar spot immedeatly,
and slipped her arms around Willows shaking frame. She breathed Willow in and sighed.
Her last thoughts as sleep enveloped her were simple....She was home.

Willowfan

Well...that's it for that story. I'll write something else later. Hope you enjoyed it.

[Pixie]

Lovely ending, Willowfan. Looking forward to whatever you come up with next.

[Sela]

Nice fic. Spike's a bloody bleeding heart, after all. I really do like misunderstandings that lead to making up. Oh, and I love Alanis. Did you happen to watch the Carson Daly late night show thing the other night? She sang this song. It was lovely. It's really the stalker's anthem, but you made it sweet. Did I just use "stalker" and "sweet" in the same sentence *g*? Anyway, great job!

--Sela

[ForeverPiper]

That was excellent! I loved it!

------------------------------------------
I don't know. He seemed ... cute. W-was he cute? I mean, I'm not a very good judge, but... I think he seemed cute. - TARA teasing Spike in Older and Far Away

[loveroftara]

well id have to say that you done a really good job on this you caught the essence of them quite well i was a little shocked at the tara thing but hey i love her so what do i expect but you done a wonderful job and keep it up i hope to see more..

[xita]

I really liked the perspective in the first part, it was very intimate. Thanks!

[Garner]

I seem to be very behind on a few pieces, so here are comments from the first two parts, which are very different in tone and writing.
The first part had a lot of grammer and wording errors, you definitely need to proofread a couple more times before posting. Usually these were things that you could catch easily enough.
There is something vaguely unsettling with Tara stalking through the house and messing with Willow’s stuff. It seems like something Spike would do, but not Tara. I definitely agree that there hasn’t been much done from Tara’s perspective and that is a good idea. The song should probably be indented some more or offset a bit more to separate it from the rest, it is a bit confusing.
The second part is actually written better, and the action sequence is pretty well done, though perhaps a bit more detail there would be good. I have a little problem with Angel coming down to Sunnydale regular enough for this to work. With his son and what is going on in LA and Buffy’s own problems I don’t see them meeting up that much. If anything if would probably help her, but given her thing with Spike, I think she would try and avoid Angel at this point. Still, as an alternate storyline sort of thing you have more tension and some interesting stuff going on in this part. I also noticed that there were fewer errors as well. Good improvement. I hope the next part continues as well.
Garner

[Garner]

Definitely need to edit and proof before posting. You have some good emotional content and some cool story developments, but there are way too many errors to make this easy to read. On the good side, that’s the easiest part to fix.
I like that Angel would assume Spike is still the Big Bad and attack him. There seemed to be some discontinuity there though. Exactly how injured was he? Vampires heal quickly, but even after Glory’s torture it took a while for him to get better. It does seem like Spike’s concern and fondness for Tara was a bit too strong. I could see him feeling this way for Buffy or Dawn, but it seemed a bit exaggerated for Tara. Still, the interplay with Angel was interesting.
The end with Willow and Tara was well done and very sweet. Good job there. If you do another piece seriously think about a beta reader or waiting a day and go through your story before posting it.
Garner

[Willowfan]

Thanks Garner. What's a Beta reader? And as for the mistakes and spelling...sorry.
I tried to use Microsoft Word to wite the story, then I copy and pasted the text. I had the song lyrics in italic's and such, but when I pasted, it wasn't anymore. And as for HTML stuff...I'm lost. So it will be awhile before I write more, so I can learn all the tips and tricks about HTML and stuff. I'm glad you liked it.But I do plan on writing more. I'm hooked.
Willowfan

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Tara:You found me...
Willow: I'll always find you.

[This message has been edited by Willowfan (edited March 12, 2002).]