Ok, first off despite the title, NOBODY DIES in this! Rest assured there. It has been impossible not to be on this board and not hear some of the spoilers or rumors that have been running around recently. If you haven’t, count yourself lucky. I was frankly fairly upset, angry and distressed by them. This is my response after some reflection on the situation. I don’t know if it will help anyone else, but it did make me feel better. This takes place PRIOR to Season 6.
Author: Garner
Email: Garner502@yahoo.com
Feedback: Yes, please, let me know if I should keep on doing this or stop before it’s too late!
Distribution: Post this where you want, just let me know when you do.
Spoilers: Through Season 5, but none really.
Rating: PG-13, a bit of violence.
Pairing: W/T
Disclaimer: Willow and Tara belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and those involved with the show. I have no right to any of them and make no money from this.
Summary: After a close call, Willow and Tara deal with the idea that one of them might die, and the possible consequences of Willow’s use of dark magic. There is some, but not a lot of angst.
Note: Written March 2002. This is complete.
DEATH WILL NOT US PART
It happened on a patrol that was just like any other one. A group of vampires had been operating out of one of the cemeteries near UC Sunnydale. They were clever and bolder than normal. During new student week they had been hitting many of the dorm parties for new students. No one missed the two or three they took each night, because no one had really gotten to know them yet. It was remarkably easy and more frightening for it. Parents probably figured the students were too engrossed in classes to contact them or enjoying their new found freedom from supervision. The administration would either lose the individuals in the new semester’s rush of paper work or assume they never showed up in the first place. No, they wouldn’t be missed for weeks at least. All it took was a little work by the vampires to choose their prey carefully. Hang out at parties open to anyone that looked like a student, watch and listen. Do the predator thing. Stalk, observe, pounce at the right moment. Ridiculously easy.
The first week of classes Willow noticed a large discrepancy between numbers enrolled and those actually attending. None of the Scoobies were really sure how she came upon it, but she was positive there were more disappearances than normal. Truth be told, she had gotten lucky and stumbled onto it, but then the old cliché went ‘I’d rather be lucky than good, anytime.’
So the Scoobies went on a hunt of their own during the third night of the new moon. Spike obtained some hints and rumors of a vampire group operating from one of the larger tombs with access to the tunnels beneath. The group eventually got to the correct location, but these vampires were smart. They had a lookout at the entrance to the graveyard and another at their lair. With Spike in the lead and Giles bringing up the rear, the group walked into an ambush.
The vampires were among them, swinging and kicking at the startled Scoobies before any could react. Willow reached back for Tara, but she had been knocked aside by a small, Latino looking male. Before the red head could rush to her girlfriend’s aid, a dark haired woman leapt at her. She dodged aside and readied a supplication to the spirits of the earth to trap the feet of her opponent while drawing a bottle of holy water from her coat pocket.
“Geb, lord of earth and sand, bind my...” She began only to stop mid incantation as Spike’s ax cleanly swept through the recovering female’s neck. A puff of dust exploded outwards, but two other vamps tackled Spike.
Willow twirled to check on Tara and something hit her in the shoulders and drove her painfully into the turf. A decaying fetid breath came from behind her, and a cold hand roughly pulled the hair away from her neck. Pinned by the weight on her, Willow reached out with the one arm not trapped and willed the dropped bottle of holy water into her hand. The rank breath increased in strength as the vampire hissed in pleasure at its next kill. She used the magic to twist the small black cap off the bottle and flung the liquid over her shoulder.
A shriek of pain almost deafened her, nearly overwhelming a violent sizzling like steaks on the grill. The weight on her disappeared so she rolled over and quickly jumped to her feet. A large vampire in an UCS jacket clutched at its smoking and pockmarked face while some of its melted skin ran between its hands. The witch swiftly drew a stake from an inner jacket pocket and plunged it into the creature’s chest.
Even as the shower of dust began to settle, she saw Giles fighting with two foes. Blood slowly trickled down the side of his head from some cut or contusion. The stake left her hand and she propelled it into the back of one assailant before it could finish swinging at the watcher. The death of its compatriot startled the other allowing Giles to thrust his sword into its chest, then withdraw and follow through with a decapitating blow.
Willow spun about taking in the situation and looking for Tara. In the darkness it was hard to discern exactly what was going on. Xander and Anya seemed to be holding their own against a single foe, raining down a flurry of baseball bat strikes. The Buffybot had another cornered while Spike dealt with two more, a feral smile on his gaunt features. No Tara.
A resonating metallic clang came from the mausoleum as the iron door shut. Had she seen a flash of her love’s blonde hair and bloodstreaked face? She thought she had but wasn’t certain. She needed more light to see what was going on.
“Illuminae,” she intoned and a bright glow lit up the area.
She looked around and her heart sank, Tara was nowhere to be seen, but some of the herbs she had been carrying lay near the entrance to the crypt.
“Tara!” She cried and ran over to the door.
It was locked solidly, with no chance of her, or Spike for that matter, battering it down. Fear crushed her heart and she found it hard to breathe. Tara was alone and captured. They could already be feeding on her.
“No! Tara!” She screamed and her eyes went jet black.
She slowly backed away from the squat tomb, beginning an incantation. “Hecate turn your dark face to me and fill this vessel with your power.”
The redhead began to rise from the ground when she felt a restraining hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to see Giles’ concerned face.
“Willow,” he said firmly. “This is not the way to get Tara back. Cease your incantation and we’ll devise some other method to free her.”
“She could be dying already!” The witch almost screamed. “Get out of my way. Now!”
Her eyes widened and a powerful, but steady force pushed the watcher backwards. She turned towards the mausoleum again and chanted briefly. She raised her arms into the air and the stone roof flew into the night, landing a moment later off to the side with a terrific crash. She brought her hands back together intoning a call to the destructive spirit of the wind and the walls crashed down outwards.
Inside three vampires were flattened against the rock floor, a massive stone dais that held a coffin was askew, revealing a passage down into the earth. Three students, two boys and a girl, all with their hands tied, were also on the ground near the stairway down. Tara lay in what had been the corner, crumpled against another coffin, blood covering the side of her unusually pale face.
Willow’s scream of raw agony split the night air. It didn’t look like Tara was still breathing. For a moment the world spun about her in a blur. Tears streamed unnoticed down her cheeks while the vise around her heart seemed to tighten further. Somewhere behind her someone might have said something, but it didn’t register. All she saw was a bloody crumpled form and with it the realization that she was too late.
The three vampires started to get up off the ground, but the movement focused the witch’s attention back on her surroundings. Another primal scream came from her and then lightning leapt from her fingers. It engulfed the three creatures and they rose from the ground, gyrating in pain. Willow floated closer to them while the lightning continued to flicker across their bodies. Their screams joined hers in an insensate offering to whatever powers were listening. Smoke began to pour off of Willow’s three victims, yet they still were not destroyed.
Tara unsteadily raised her head and tried to focus on the world around her. A cacophony of screams, burning and crackling disoriented her as much as the spinning and throbbing in her head. She remembered being slammed into by one of the vampires. It had knocked her breath away and before she could recover it had carried her into the crypt. She had just managed to begin a small fire spell to force the creature to let her go, and to provide some light in the utter darkness, when she suddenly found herself flying through the air. She dimly recalled striking something hard and smooth, but wasn’t positive.
Her eyes finally focused enough to see Willow floating a mere ten feet or so from her. The red head’s eyes were pitch black, though small currents of silver electricity seemed to dance there. Larger versions of those in her eyes flowed from her hands to three partially consumed vampires suspended in front of her lover. They shook and screamed as the lightning ate at their lower abdomens, the sound piercing her head and threatening to drive her unconscious again.
“Willow,” she mumbled and shakily rose to her feet.
The blonde steadied herself on the nearby coffin, waiting for the revolutions to slow down. Her girlfriend seemed to get closer and then further away. Was her face changing? Was that a blackened, almost skinned look?
“Willow!” She screamed with all the strength she had left. “Stop!”
She tried to run towards her love, but her body felt so heavy and leaden all she could do was stumble towards her.
It was enough. Willow saw the blonde lurching at her from the corner, maybe on some level even recognized her voice, and abruptly silence fell over the graveyard. Willow’s eyes returned to their normal emerald green and she slipped and almost fell as she landed on the ground while trying to run towards her girl.
“Tara!” Willow’s arms closed around the blonde witch in a gentle yet firm embrace. She kissed the top of Tara’s head and began speaking in a long breathless rush. “You were lying by a coffin with all this blood and I didn’t see you breathing and your face was so pale and the vampires had you so long I thought you were gone and I didn’t think I’d ever hold you again but now you’re not so I can and...”
Already dizzy and disoriented, the smaller girl’s babble threatened to overwhelm what consciousness Tara had.
She pressed her fingers against Willow’s lips and said, “Shhh, it’s all right now. I’m here.”
From what had been the center of the crypt came the sound of three vampires turning to dust. Giles approached the two witches, looking carefully into both of their faces. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, he took a handkerchief from his pocket and used it to wipe some of the blood from Tara’s face.
“Just a small cut below the scalp,” he said as she winced. “Head wounds tend to bleed a lot whether they’re terribly dangerous or not. Just press this firmly against your forehead.”
Tara did as she was directed, though Willow refused to let go of her. Spike went down the passage with Xander trailing behind him while Anya untied the three people the vampires had been trying to take away. All three were stunned, scared and confused, but none had been harmed, yet. A short while later Spike and Xander came up leading another seven or so dizzy students that had been chained up below. It seemed the vampires had kept them alive for a while so that they could continue to feed on them. All suffered from blood loss, lack of food and shock.
The group decided to take all of the victims to the hospital while Willow wanted Tara examined for a possible concussion or other damage. Spike remained behind to fully explore the tunnels below the crypt and make sure that no other prisoners were hidden anywhere.
For Willow the hospital trip passed in an indistinct miasma of colors and sounds. All she heard was “slight concussion,” and “nothing serious.” She held Tara’s hand or arm the whole time and fussed over her girlfriend ceaselessly. By the time they got back home to the Summer’s house they were both exhausted. They put the Buffybot in Buffy’s room to recharge. Neither said much as they changed out of their dirty clothes, nor while Willow helped wash the blood from Tara’s hair. Though normally a mutual shower awoke their passion, both were too fatigued to even think about making love. Willow just sniffled and gently sponged her girlfriend clean, both happy to be with her and fearful over what had almost happened.
For her part Tara felt a degree of numbness and disorientation. The image of Willow floating in the night sky, black eyes above a death’s head grin while lightning played from her hands continued to haunt her. She might have been more worried, but her love’s reassuring smell and presence helped calm her.
When they were clean, dry and snuggled together in bed a slow line of tears trickled down Willow’s cheeks. She held Tara tightly to her and said in a tired, soft voice, “I really thought I lost you tonight. The vampires had you so long that when I saw you I thought they had fed and thrown you aside. Discarded like some empty soda can, crumpled and thrown away. I-I never want to feel like that again. It was like the whole world collapsing in on me. After Buffy died I didn’t think I’d ever be hurt worse.”
Tara softly caressed Willow’s cheek. After swallowing twice, unsure what to say, she tried, “I worry too, every time we go out. I’m sorry I scared you so much.”
“Oh, Tara, no, it wasn’t your fault,” Willow interrupted quickly fearing that she had upset the blonde further. “We’ve been on dozens of patrols, I know any of us could get hurt. We saved a bunch of people tonight and destroyed a very dangerous group of vamps, that’s important.”
“But?” Tara asked, her hand settling around Willow’s.
“But nothing. OK, but something, I guess I never really considered the idea of you getting, um, you know, killed. It scared me, I’m so afraid to lose you too. I don’t know how I’d ever be able to carry on without you.”
“Sweety, I’m here with you now, that’s all that matters. We have to enjoy what time we’re blessed with because we never know what’ll happen, OK?”
“You know I love you, right?”
“I kinda noticed that,” Tara replied with a big smile and a kiss on the cheek. “And I love you, too. No one has ever made me feel like you do.”
Willow sighed and leaned her head against Tara’s and closed her eyes. The fear and despair she had felt that night not completely allayed, but at least for the moment she was content.
Both girls’ dreams were troubled that night. Willow kept on seeing Tara’s battered form covered with blood and every time she went to her felt nothing but cold lifeless limbs. When she tried to hug her girlfriend her arms passed through an empty space and then no matter how hard she looked, she couldn’t find Tara anywhere. A great sense of failure and guilt washed over her.
The other witch’s dreams were filled with a jet eyed Willow maniacally laughing as she blasted apart vampires, demons and maybe even a few humans. Somehow Tara knew it was all her fault. Yet, when she ran towards the redhead to get her to stop, the other moved further and further away from her until a wall of corpses and dark magic barred her from ever getting to her love. Fear drove her on but no matter how frenziedly she looked, she couldn’t find anyway back to her Willow.
They both awoke the next morning with a start, each unsettled and distressed by the images that still lingered in their minds. Each thought the other seemed a bit distant as they got ready for the second week of the semester. They parted with a kiss that was more perfunctory and distracted than either could remember for quite some time.
Both girls also grew more agitated throughout the day. Willow kept thinking about never seeing Tara again, of having to go through her life without the blonde’s company and this scared her and filled her with a deep sadness. She knew she shouldn’t dwell on what might be, but still couldn’t shake the feeling that the other would be torn from her at any moment.
Tara also became more distressed as she recalled the fight she and Willow had had before Glory attacked her the previous spring. Willow did sometimes frighten her because she was often so impetuous with her magic. She trusted the redhead to make the right decision if she stopped and thought things through, but sometimes she just acted and let the consequences be damned. Willow didn’t have the same depth of knowledge of witchcraft as she did and never heard the stories of what happened to someone who got lost in dark magics. Her mother used to repeat the tale of their distant ancestor once every year, but she doubted the same thing would have any affect on her girlfriend. Tara didn’t fear death so much as the thought of losing Willow’s soul to forces called upon because of her. By the time she got home late that afternoon she had resolved that something needed to be done.
After dinner, when the dishes were done and various calls from the other Scoobies were answered letting them know that Tara was doing fine, the blonde decided the time had come to talk about what had happened. They sat side by side on the couch in the living room and she shut off the TV before something else started. Dawn was at a friend’s house so she was certain they would be left undisturbed.
“Will, we h-have to t-talk about something,” she began.
On hearing her friend’s stutter and seeing the serious look on her face, Willow began to get nervous as well. “About what? Oh, you’re head’s not getting worse or you didn’t find out about some complications that’ll complicate getting better or are maybe just affecting your concentration because once I got hit and...”
“Will, sweety, stop,” Tara interjected firmly, placing her hand on the babbling girls leg and squeezing. “This isn’t about me. Well, it is sortof, but not about my head, it’s fine, really.”
The other girl looked at her quizzically and said in a subdued tone, “OK, then what’s the matter? You look all Miss Serious.”
“I am,” she replied, but smiled a bit since the other looked so nonplused. However, the smile faded and she went on after a slight pause. “I, I know you were shocked and angry and probably pretty frantic last night...”
Willow nodded vigorously and started in with, “That’s not the half of it. When I thought you weren’t...”
Again Tara interrupted, though this time she gave her girlfriend a firm shake. “Will, please, let me finish.”
The other girl’s mouth hung open at the angry tone in her lover’s voice.
Tara continued on, “Look, I can imagine how you felt. I’d feel some of that too, if I thought you were d-dead, but. But I also saw what you were doing when I came to. You were using magic to deliberately inflict pain and death out of anger and vengeance. Do you have any idea how serious that is?”
Willow gazed down for a moment, feeling like she had been caught by her parents doing something she wasn’t allowed to, but then returned Tara’s stare with a defiant look. “I know it’s not a good idea, but I thought you were being killed. I had to do something. I couldn’t just let them have you.”
Tara shook her head and stood up to pace putting the coffee table between them. She turned back to Willow and said sadly, “I know. But that’s always how it starts out. Good intentions leading you into darkness.”
The blonde moved back around the table and perched on it before her girlfriend.
“Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us,” she began again. “Do you believe our souls are linked?”
“Yes!” Willow answered, leaning forward taking Tara’s hands. “I felt it when we first used our powers together. I can feel it every time I touch you. It’s a very deep and powerful feeling.”
Tara nodded her agreement and continued, “Death isn’t really the horrible thing western culture wants everyone to believe. To Wiccans, death is more like a graduation, an evolution of the spirit so we can go on to the next incarnation. It’s not something to be feared, but a natural and necessary part of existence.”
“But...” Willow started but Tara cut her off.
“No buts this time. You said that you’d always find me, do you think death could really separate us? Our souls are linked, if I pass on first, I know you’ll eventually find me when it’s your time just as I’d find you. Will, we belong together, nothing about death can change that.” Tara raised Willow’s hands and kissed the back of her soft hand.
“Do, do you really believe that?” Willow asked.
Tara looked directly in the other girl’s deep green eyes before responding. “I can feel that it’s true as much as I can feel we’re soulmates. The only thing that scares me about death is that you’ll give in to black magic, call on the dark powers and get lost within them. You can damn yourself. That’s the only thing that could keep us apart.”
Tara stood back up and paced again obviously upset. Her distress transferred to Willow who also got up, a concerned and frightened look on her face.
“When I saw you last night with the black aura swimming through you, the anger and hatred driving the magic I thought I might lose you forever.” Tears started to spill over and she angrily wiped at them. “I would go through anything to be with you, but when I saw that I knew I might never be able to reach you. Then death really would separate us.”
“I-I never thought...I just reacted, you were dead and I just needed to, I don't know, lash out, strike back. It wasn’t fair,” Willow’s face dissolved into tears as she spoke distorting her words.
Tara came over and cupped the other girl’s chin and made soothing noises. She wiped some of the moisture from her love’s face, but her own flowed freely now as well. She clasped the other to her. After a while they got control of themselves. Each blew their noses, and sat back down.
“Will, I don’t know how to make this any clearer,” Tara finally said. “You have to promise me that if I die, if I get injured, no matter what happens, that you’ll never use that kind of dark magic ever again. I’d rather be dead then see that happen, do you understand me?”
Willow nodded, and then smiled slightly at Tara’s expression. “Is that your resolve face?”
“I’m not joking. You must promise me.”
“I swear by my love for you that no matter what, I won’t call on the dark forces or use black magic like that ever again,” she said, wearing her own resolve face.
They hugged again and then parted. Tara believed that Willow meant what she said at the moment, though she was not entirely convinced that the impetuous witch wouldn’t be overcome by a sudden impulse later. However, she did have a solution in mind that would help her soulmate keep her promise.
“I know it’s never easy to lose someone you love. Just because we don’t fear death doesn’t mean it isn’t sad and lonely afterwards, but, you know, neither of us has to really be alone if the other moves on.” Tara said earnestly.
“Yeah, I know, you’ll be with me in spirit, watching over me,” Willow said somewhat dismissively.
“Well, yes, that’s actually true, but only for a short while,” Tara replied with a knowing grin. “That isn’t what I meant though. There’s a spell that I found long ago which allows you to speak with a departed loved one. It’s not really a Wiccan spell but an older form of witchcraft. I’ve...used it a couple of times, to speak with my mother, after she died. She helped give me the courage to leave my family and come out here in the first place.”
Willow’s mouth dropped open for a second time. She could hardly believe what the blonde Wiccan had just told her. All sorts of possibilities popped into her mind, but then she looked up suddenly and objected, “Hey, isn’t that like, necromancy? That’s a black art, if I’m not mistaken?”
Tara tilted her head to the side and sort of shrugged. “Yes and no. It is technically raising and speaking with the dead, but since it’s just for communication, with a loved one, and no coercion is involved it really isn’t a black art. Remember intention is usually more important than the actual spell itself.”
Willow put her hands on her hips and said, “Yes, you’ve mentioned that before, but this seems like splitting hairs or a technicality.” However, she did smile when she said it to soften her words. “Did you really speak with you mom after she was dead?”
Tara nodded, “Yes. The ability fades unless the connection between the two people is very strong. I hadn’t called her since I left for Sunnydale except once last year. I-I wanted to tell her about you.”
The couch creaked as Willow shifted on the cushion, overwhelmed by what Tara had said. When did she do that spell? She wondered if it would work with anyone and Buffy’s image instantly came to her.
“Could, could we contact Buffy like that?” She asked rather hesitantly.
Tara sighed softly and got up again. She walked to the other side of the room and looked out one of the windows into the night, trying to collect her thoughts. She figured that Willow would ask this and wasn’t sure how to let her down without seeming to reject the idea out of hand. She knew Buffy’s death still hurt her lover and that she missed her greatly. Truth be told, Tara did also.
Willow got up and followed the blonde. She put a hand on the other’s shoulder and gently turned her around. Tara looked down for a moment before making eye contact.
“You aren’t saying anything,” Willow stated. “Does that mean it won’t work with her?”
Tara looked even more discomforted but said, “I don’t know for sure. You’re supposed to perform the spell on an important date for the person sought after. An anniversary of their death, a birthday or something.”
Tara paused and Willow indicated that she should continue. The blonde took a deep breath and then went on.
“Buffy died in a magical portal between worlds. That makes it much more difficult. We don’t know where she went or the circumstances of what happened. Calling her back might even re-open the rift. I don’t think so, but it is possible.”
Willow’s crestfallen look made Tara’s heart ache, but she knew of no way to ease that pain.
“I brought this up because I want you to know that if I should die, you can still reach me. You really wouldn’t be entirely alone. I’ve thought about this all day and I designed a ritual that will help us call on each other if the worst ever happens.”
“Did I really scare you that much last night,” Willow asked in a small voice.
“It’s the only time I was actually frightened by you,” the Wiccan admitted. “Everyone has a dark side but you seemed so lost in yours,” she shook her head and held Willow’s hands in front of her. “I never want to be the cause of that. I want to know that you’ll always be my Willow, balanced and whole, not given over to darkness and despair. I need to know that you’ll always find me. Maybe we should’ve thought about this before. I mean, one of us could die anytime, on patrol, or fighting some big evil. It’s, it’s probably just a matter of time before one of us is next.”
Willow squeezed Tara’s hands in her own and looked at her with compassion and sudden understanding.
“You miss her too,” she said. “We all just assumed you were the least affected. I don't know why, and you’ve been so supportive for me, for everyone. Tara I’m so sorry.”
Willow recognized the sad look that crossed her lover’s face. She sometimes got it when she thought about her mother. However, it passed quickly to be replaced by her new ‘resolve’ face.
“Yes, I miss Buffy, she treated me like a friend, no, like one of her own family. I’ll never forget that. But, this is about us, about being strong enough to go on when it’ll seem like the world has ended. When there is a huge gaping hole in your heart that makes nothing important enough to bother with and every action a burden. I don’t want you to suffer through that alone. And this isn’t just for you, I’ll need the same help and hope to be strong too,” the blonde finished.
Willow’s lips delicately brushed against Tara’s and she felt the same surge of excitement, love and just simple joy that she did the first time they had tentatively kissed. She loved the blonde witch so much and to see her so worked up about what had happened filled her with remorse and the aching desire to never have it happen again. Anything to keep the pain from her love’s eyes.
She tried to put those thoughts into words. “I’m for anything that will make you feel better or that will help us be together. When Glory took your mind, I...I...”
“I know, sweety. I don’t blame you. I might’ve done the same,” Tara said trying to set her friend at ease.
Willow gave a short laugh, “You know too much about magic to do something that stupid,” she objected.
“Well let’s hope that I don’t have to face that situation anytime soon,” Tara said with a smile. “And I think this ritual will help both of us. We might even work on balance and restraint, too, some other day.”
Willow gave her a mischievous grin and moved in to hold the other girl, one hand fondling her bottom. “Not too much restraint, I hope.”
“You’re insatiable,” Tara replied, a broad grin lighting her face as well. But then she kissed Willow fully and passionately, matching the desire that filled the other girl.
“Is this part of the ritual?” Willow finally asked breathlessly.
“No,” Tara answered though her hands continued to roam over her lover’s body. “But it’s a good spot to start.”
They made love with a mutual driving passion and need, both hoping to lose themselves in the other and forget the previous night and all the troubles that followed them from the last spring. There was so much pain and loss that neither had felt at ease throughout the summer. Finally, they were content to lie in each others’ arms and enjoy a few last caresses.
“I know it’ll be a late night, but I want to perform the ritual this morning in the hour of Venus.” Tara began.
“Isn’t that like, three in the morning?” Willow inquired. At Tara’s nod she added, “So what exactly is it we’re going to do, anyway. Will there be any more of this?” Her hand move along Tara’s chest, making the other women sigh softly.
“No,” she smiled. “You really are a vixen, aren’t you? We’re going to create a magical packet that will make it easier to call on each other’s spirit. We’ll each make one that will bind us closer to together. It will help strengthen and clarify our link and it should allow us to communicate at times other than a specific anniversary.” Tara’s eyebrows rose a bit and she returned the stroke Willow had given her. “But afterwards we can...”
Willow laughed lightly, her mood no longer so negative as earlier that day. The nightmare images of her dreams were all but forgotten.
She shifted on the couch to better distribute her weight and asked, “So where do we perform this ritual?”
Tara sat up and looked on the floor for her clothes. As she did she replied, “Well, in one of the cemeteries. We are preparing an aid for a necromantic spell, even if it isn’t a dark one.” She gazed back at Willow and continued. “But we should choose one that has something positive about it. An exquisitely carved tombstone or crypt, maybe an attractive stream with some brush, anything like that.”
Willow thought for a moment while the Wiccan started dressing. Actually she mostly watched Tara get dressed, something that was almost as enticing as watching her undress, when an idea came to her.
“Ouuuh, I know. The graveyard where my grandmother is buried. She died when I was little and when we went to visit her I remember seeing a group of pine trees not too far off. I would go sit under the branches and play with the pine cones. I always used to think it was so peaceful there. Would that work?”
“That’d be perfect. Do you think they’re still there?”
Willow shrugged, got up and began to hurriedly dress. It wasn’t one of the bigger burial grounds, and was quite a ways from the house. It was the only predominantly Jewish graveyard in town. They would probably have to drive SUV to get there, especially if they were forced to search for a secondary site in time to perform the ritual. She mentioned all this to Tara. who agreed.
“We probably shouldn’t have bothered to get dressed though,” She commented, chuckling slightly off of Willow’s glance. “No, we don't perform it naked, unless you want to. We just need to purify ourselves with a shower and oils. Nothing elaborate, but we should do it together.”
Willow liked the sound of that, even if there wouldn’t be any further naughty business. They went upstairs still only partially dressed, and laid out something that each thought the other liked quite a bit. Tara selected a pale blue blouse that highlighted her hair and eyes, and which was a little tighter in the chest than she normally preferred. Willow grabbed a shirt Tara had bought her the previous summer. It accented her trimmer figure and the rust color made her hair seem a brighter red.
They showered together, each picturing the water washing away any lingering fears or doubts they had. They scrubbed each other quickly clean, and then anointed their forehead, lips and breastbone with an oil dedicated to the Goddess and God.
When they were fully dressed, they took their materials down to the black SUV Buffy’s mom had owned. Willow drove while Tara mentally reviewed the ritual she had constructed. She hoped the words would be appropriate and that a sense of calm and dedication would result and help settle whatever fears her lover had. The thought of losing Willow scared her more than anything else ever had. Yet at the same time she felt that if they acknowledged the possibility and planned for it, that maybe the final eventuality might not be so devastating.
As the darkened houses of the sleeping town flashed by, Tara rested her hand on the other witch’s leg and smiled at her. She hoped this would be enough to form a bulwark between Willow and her need to use dark magic.
The redhead was also quiet and lost in thought as she followed the familiar streets to the cemetery. Part of her mind recalled traveling this route in the back seat of her parents car. Everything seemed so different then. The world larger yet oddly safer. She cared for her parents but the thought of losing them came nowhere near the terror she felt at the idea of Tara being taken from her. She trusted the blonde witch as much as she loved her, however, and if she said this ritual would help them be together, even after death, than she was willing to put her entire being into making it successful. In her mind there was no alternative.
They arrived before too long at a deserted stretch of stone wall that enclosed the burial ground. Since they did not often patrol here, they didn’t have an easy after hours entrance. Instead they chose a spot near the wall to park the vehicle. The clambered out onto the hood, and Willow went over the wall first. The other passed her a short step ladder and attached piece of rope, the small duffel bag with their accouterments, and then climbed over herself.
Inside, the cemetery had the hushed, distant sounds that separate these places from the living world that surrounds them. A gentle breeze rustled the few tree limbs. Tonight was much warmer than the previous one and both girls welcomed the wind. They left the ladder by the wall, and then hands clasped, they began searching for clump of pine trees Willow had remembered.
No moon lit their path, and the now older Rosenberg hadn’t been here in some time so it took longer than she intended to find the right spot. It was still there though, seven or eight pine trees in a rough ring close to the graveyard’s center. Tara thought it was as peaceful and beautiful as Willow had indicated, while the other girl was happy that she was able to share this childhood memory with her love.
“This looks perfect,” Tara whispered though no one could have heard if she spoke normally. “I see why you came here.”
Willow smiled and asked in her usual tone, “So what do we do first?”
“We shouldn’t need to purify this space very much. I think just a bit of pure water will do. Then we raise our circle, call on the Goddess and God.”
“The usual stuff,” Willow commented.
“Yes. Then we’ll cut a bit of each other’s hair and braid it with some of our own. We also combine our nail parings, and a few drops of blood and put them all on a small piece of leather we sew into a pouch.” Tara continued.
“No herbs or anything else?” Willow asked, a bit surprised.
“No, in this case we want to create an item charged with our own essences, twined together so that even in the spirit world or beyond we will always hear the other’s summons.”
“They might have other uses, too.”
“Probably,” Tara admitted. “Location spells and such. OK, next we invoke the elements and bind our essences together. I w-wrote an invocation. I have a copy for you to read. I hope it’s allright.”
“Don’t worry, you put your heart into this, that much is obvious. I’m sure it’ll be great,” Willow reassured the other girl. “What then? Earthing, thanking and breaking?”
“Uh-huh,” Tara stated and looked into Willow’s eyes expectantly. “Are you ready?”
The redhead smiled as she looked back into Tara’s deep blue eyes. “I love you,” she said. “I’m always ready to do anything with you.”
Tara’s face lit up as she beamed and she professed her love as well. Together they walked under the trees, their steps quiet on the bed of pine needles. They each used a bottle of pure water to cleanse the area of any negative forces, both concentrating on the location’s natural beauty and tranquillity.
From the duffel she set in the center of their space, Tara removed a long, light blue cord. She took several measured steps to the north and held out her hand. Willow took it and together they walked in a circle, Tara laying the cord while Willow chanted a soft prayer to the Goddess and God. Each pictured a stream of incandescent blue sparks trailing behind them, building on the cord and shooting higher and higher as they went further around. When they had completed their revolution they felt a growing warmth and tingling sensation as the power buzzed around them. A short invocation of the Goddess and the God and they could see the faint blue glow start to throb and ebb around them. Specks of power darted like fireflies, suddenly bright than dimmer, all the time swirling around them.
They returned to the center and knelt down facing each other. From the duffel Tara took a small square of deep blue felt and spread it on the ground. On it she placed two white handled knives and two patches of soft brown leather. Next to these she laid two silver needles and length of silver and brown braided cord.
She looked up at Willow and said, “Just follow my lead and repeat my actions, OK?”
Willow nodded her assent, and Tara picked up her bolline, but the redhead interrupted. “Umm, I don't want to mess things up,” she started. “But could we make a second packet or talisman or whatever it is? You know, just in case something happens to the first, not that it would or I’d lose mine, but...”
“Oh, honey, of course we can. That’s a good idea,” the blonde stated and paused using her knife to slice both patches of leather in two. “Are you ready?”
She reached up and took a small length of Willow’s hair and cut it loose. Then she did the same to her own saying, “From your head, to mine, we are bound together.” She wound the two lengths into a single strand.
Willow repeated the procedure, carefully laying the braided hair in a coil on the leather pouch as Tara had done. Next the blonde took Willow’s left hand and carefully took a few parings of her fingernails which fell on the leather. She did the same with her own, mixing the nails together with a tiny dab of glue and said, “From your body to mine, we are bound together.”
Willow again mimicked Tara’s actions. Finally, the Wiccan took her girlfriend’s right hand and carefully pricked the end of her finger. A few drops of blood fell onto the leather. She did the same with her own finger and carefully mixed their blood together intoning, “From your heart to mine, we are bound together.”
When the other witch had accomplished that, Tara picked up the large silver needle and threaded the cord through it. She pressed the needle to her lips, kissing the cool metal, then placed it before Willow to kiss as well, finally saying, “In this life and the next, we are bound by love.”
She then used the needle to sew shut the strip of leather, forming a small pouch and a cord to hang it from her neck. Willow finished the same task, and the two witches repeated the procedure forming two more little packs.
That done. Tara took four small crucibles from the duffel and placed them at the four cardinal points on the circle.
“Storax for the North,” she said placing some incense into the container and lighting it. She did the same at the other three, uttering, “Galbanum for the East. Olibanum for the South. Myrrh for the West.”
The mingled scents of the incense flowed over the sacred area, unaffected by the wind that continued to softly rustle the pine limbs above them. Tara removed a piece of paper from the duffel and handed it to Willow. The paper was tinged blue by the spell’s built up energy; enough that she could make out Tara’s flowing script on the page.
“Remember to face the appropriate direction and then me as you read each section.” Tara directed.
They began facing each other in the center and recited together,
“Hail Goddess and God.
Let us hear each other’s call, for we are bound as one.”
They faced to the north intoning, “Hail to the North!” and then angled towards one another looking deep into each other’s eyes.
“You are my earth,
you are my foundation,
you are the material I build my life around.
You are my winter, for when we met I was reborn.”
A bright flash of deep brown light leapt from the energy of the circle and into the two pouches they each held in an outstretched hand.
“Hail to the East!
You are my air,
you are the wind that surrounds me,
you are the breath that gives me life.
You are my spring, for with you I began to grow.”
Bright yellow energy flared towards their extended hands.
“Hail to the South!
You are my fire,
you are my passion,
you are the flame that drives me.
You are my summer, for with you I reach my fullest.”
Red energy streamed into the leather packs.
“Hail to the West!
You are my water,
you are the liquid that keeps me afloat,
you are the drink that sustains me.
You are my autumn, for with you I can weather any change.”
An aqua-marine flash entered the held objects, and they faced each other in the center again.
“Hail to the Center!
You are my spirit,
you are me.
Together all time is one, for our souls are linked.
Beyond time there is still together, for I will always find you!”
A brilliant ball of white light burst from the pouches. The two witches sensed the rush of energy through and around them. Each felt elated and quivered with unfettered rapture as the sense of the other permeated and surrounded them. For a moment they sensed some of the thoughts and emotions of the other, an overwhelming flood of love, warmth and respect coupled with a closeness neither had ever imagined. But the moment passed and the light blue energy around them dimmed significantly and their knees started to buckle.
They caught each other in an embrace that ended with both kneeling on the ground, breathing heavily. For a long time neither said anything, merely listening to the other’s breath and feeling the rapid thrumming of their hearts.
“I...that, um,” Willow stammered unable to form anything coherent. She suddenly kissed Tara deeply. When they parted she managed to get out, “I love you. I will always love you. I felt you all through me. I know we’ll never be truly parted.”
Tara’s broad grin answered Willow’s, and the hand that traced her chin seemed to ignite an unbelievable string of sensations. She sighed deeply and pulled her soulmate tighter to her, as if to recapture some of the sense of oneness that was fading.
“I will always love you, too.” Was all she could say.
The remained together for another indeterminate time before they noticed the subdued, yet still flickering energy around them. They broke their clasp and took some bread and juice from the duffel. Tara sprinkled some of the juice on the ground while Willow tossed a few pinches from the loaf. They ate and drank in silence, their hands lazily tracing patterns on the back of the other’s. As they finished the energy dissipated into the ground.
“I think I can still feel you in these,” Willow said holding up the leather packets.
“I know, I can, too.” Tara agreed.
They gave thanks to the Goddess and God, and then repeated their walk around the circle, taking up the cord and thanking the rulers of the four quarters. With the circle broken, they repacked their implements in the duffel.
As they left the ring of pines, arms around each other, Willow had a deep seated calm and assurance that she knew Tara also felt. From now on, no matter what happened, even if the unthinkable did occur and Tara was ripped from her, moving on to whatever came next, Willow knew she would never be truly alone. Her soulmate would be with her, come to her when she called. They would always be able to find one another no matter what. This time when they made love, perhaps they wouldn’t be running from the past, but looking towards the future instead.
END
