Paths Diverged/Divulged

[JustSkipIt]

I’ll reply to your wonderful comments:



DMW – First again. I saw you post to be first and then edit. I do that too when I can. Tee hee.

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While the Master is dead, there are members of the Order of Aurelius out there (Luke, Spike & Dru, and Darla for starters) who might be quite interested to learn that a certain Willow Rosenberg didn't die with him.

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How about this:



“Are you sure they’re all in there?” Giles asked his slayer. He knew how she had a habit of going off half-cocked.



“You bet,” Faith answered smugly, “that big stupid one, the bleach blonde, Ms. Crazypants with the dolls, and that one with the catholic schoolgirl thing working for her. I watched them go in a little while ago. Some kind of vamp party or something.” She allowed her mind to wander for a minute as she wished she was at a party—something with more than a little liquor and plenty of boys and girls to keep her happy and busy for hours.



Giles nodded as he started counting: “Well ok then. On three. One. Two. Three.” As he reached three he and Faith each threw the first of their malotov cocktails toward the small building. The first hit the roof and broke without burning but the gasoline inside poured over the roof tiles. The second worked similarly on the walls. However, the next round hit pay dirt. One lit the gasoline on the roof which quickly spread to the walls.



“Watch this!” Faith called as she threw one intentionally through the window. By that time she knew that the entire structure was ruined. Any vampire who escaped the burning building and wasn’t staked by her would be fried by the light of the rising sun streaking across the grass.



Within minutes the structure was reduced to a pile of ash as were the numerous vampires inside. Neither Giles nor Faith knew how many there were. They had seen Drucilla and Darla burned, staked Spike personally, and seen Luke disintegrate in the sun.



“Let’s go get a drink and work off this energy G-man,” Faith laughed. Giles raised his eyebrow at he dark-haired slayer. “Not you and me,” she reassured him, “you and Jenny and me and … someone… maybe a few someones…” she trailed off as she thought about her fantasy party again.





Yep, very familiar technique. It is definitely growing for both girls.



Arwen – Don’t worry about the last post at all. Probably my fault I have a tendancy sometimes to forget how protective the readers can be about our girls. Especially when they are foolish (W&T not the readers). I should have tempered the letter better. I’m glad my threads encourage thinking. I’ve always been fond of the activity. (Too much lately – I need more sleep!).



I’m glad people liked the comedy of Will & Joe and the caffeine solution. That’s a cool observation that Willow is only existing for Tara. I guess in a big way, that is true. Right now she is just doing some work for money, trying to get established, and seeing Tara. Hmmm, liking the kisses? Good.

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I'd also like to point out, that at this point of the story, I see Tara *2* as a perfectly different entity, she's really someone else, and she's different although it's still Tara. I also sense that Willow is feeling the same, and that she's seeing her as a unique individual too!

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That’s wonderful. That’s what I’m trying to work toward a different woman definitely so Willow can get to know her independently. I’ll tease and say the next update may confuse things somewhat…

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Deb! I re-read Y'all this past week to quench my thirst for updates... what should I do this week????

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Hmm, you can reread this so far, or read my other stuff. Very different but I hope good. Also, there’s tons of other great stuff here to read. My next update will probably be Sunday or Monday.



Diana – Cool to liking the Willowbabble. Very fun to write. Wow, you do a wonderful job of describing the story with the thoughts about bridges and gapping it and stopping the babblefest. Maybe you should be writing???



Someone else explained SNAFU right? Originally a military term standing for “Situation Normal All Fucked Up.”



shuyaku – Truth is, I wasn’t planning to clear it up at all. I actually added in the clearing it up to pacify the angry masses. I’m glad it worked. Glad you liked the update.

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Looking forward to see what Tara wants to show Willow... um... not like that ... okay, maybe like that eventually

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Well thank god! Someone wants to know. I end the chapter with a line that seriously should belong in the next update and no one else asks about it? Where are my impatient and curious kittens? Thanks for wondering.



The Rose24 – Yes, I’m trying to very consciously show the difference between the realities and the girls. I want it clear that this woman, while the same is different.

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They have both fallen so hard, but it makes me wonder if Willow is still thinking this is her Tara or is she falling in love with Tara2.

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That is kind of the major question isn’t it? Could be confusing for either. Yeah this Tara is much more aggressive. I think it’s in character for her and for her life. I guess you could say she’s been forged by fire.

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am still waiting for your explanation about Tara2's motivation into waiting for Willow all of this time. What is it about Willow a brief moment with Willow that makes her(Tara2) change her life.

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I’m in a teasing mood today it seems: more to come on that question…



russ – If y’all were conversing on our front porch, I’m really sorry because we have a wasps nest out there. On the other hand we also have anoles and lizards that live in the bushes so you can look at them.

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You said: "There are still a lot of issues to work through before these women can even decide to love each other or start to love each other." Are you sure you meant that the way it sounded? 'Cause to me it seems pretty obvious that they started to love each other before they ever met, and are now head over heels. What they really haven't done yet is articulate it, to each other or even fully to themselves. And for that, it's quite ok for you to take all the time that's needed. Even if you don't live up to your nom de plume.

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Well, that’s a good question and a good point. But I think there’s a big difference between being in love with a memory or an ideal and truly loving someone you know. Or in Willow’s case, loving a woman who is different from her lover. It is a process and yes, will take some time.



The coffee shop dude is one of thousands throughout the city. I’m glad people liked him. Interesting thought about the letters/laptop. I’ll honestly say that’s not a “path” I’m going down. The last story was about secrets and finding out and telling people the full truth. This one is about something different.



You summarize the connection between T1&T2 wonderfully and Tara’s confusion and connection to Willow. Yeah for someone else a little cliffhung… Thanks always for your brilliant dialog.



Grace – Glad you loved it and peaked your interest.



Justin – Yes it is similar to the Dark Rose (which if anyone has not read it do the following: 1. stop reading this. 2. Go to the archive and read that 3. Leave feedback telling DMW she’s brilliant) in that aspect. Hmmm, interesting ideas re: solutions to the which reality issue. Thanks for letting them know about SNAFU. I thought it was in the common lexicon.



Betinha/Liz? – Welcome. Yes you are right: one story is dependent on the other. I really wanted the opportunity to see them fall in love again and this is it so I’m glad it works for you. Yes M&E are another example of the soulmate issue as you put it.

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And if my memory isn't failing me, I do recall Tara in Y'All promising Dawn that she'd be back.

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You do remember that but that was before Dawn had arrived and referred to Tara choosing to go to school in Sunnydale to be with Willow which would also put her with Dawn. So that promise has been fulfilled.



Please, we welcome metaphysical universe discussions anytime! Thanks.



the vamp nurd -

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Am I the only one who thinks that there might be an reality bleed i.e. Tara's dreams?

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If you are, no one is reading very closely…..



Natti – Ha ha. I’m glad you liked my taste. I’m trying to think of some more for jokes/comments later and having trouble coming up with them. I don’t watch TV so not up on it.



Yeah, it’s probably not completely realistic to get the id that quick. I think that a social security card would be pretty easy but not sure about all of it.



Grimaldi – I’m glad you liked the update and the babbling.



Helen – Yeah, a great kiss. “The talk?” I think that there are quite a few conversations coming but none of them will be labeled as such. Maybe more of a lot of talks… Yes, they need to get to know each other and you are right: Willow has been very clear—she’s at Tara’s disposal fully.



PS:        I’m using your name in the next update. Wrote it before you showed up. Sorry if if you don’t like her.



Romy – Ohhh, curiousity. I’m glad to peak your interest. And combined realities—interesting take.



JFK – Well with your limited time, thanks for reading an commenting. I’m glad you’re enjoying it



sizzlesister –

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Tara's dreams, erotic or otherwise, seem very...familiar. I'm left wondering if this will be developed more, or if it's simply meant to tease.

But hey, I love a good tease.

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Patience is a virtue… (do you know the rest?).



Thanks for your wonderful praise.



Rage More – Is sionan your name? What does it mean? Is it a boys’ or girl’s name? It sounds so cool and I’m looking for names.



Great that you like the way this is progressing. It’s fun to write the falling the second time. Maybe more so than the first.



Karen – Welcome to the kitten board and to commenting. I think you commented before but you are new so welcome. I’m glad you didn’t stop reading when it was a downer to start. Nothing like that to come-some angst but not dark depressing terribleness…



Grimmy – Yeah, we know that Willow sometimes doesn’t think it through the start with. But better late than never right?

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must have been hard for her though, to just have dreams reminding her of what she's missing .

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Yeah I knew that would bother you more than even anyone else. Just adds to the sadness of her being alone all that time waiting. Oh yeah close to Tara’s place would be good (although that is a very expensive area).

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"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or demons, heaven or hell." - The Buddha

[Insanity]

I'm a bad, bad kitten. I forgot to comment to the last update. But since there is no new one, I guess I might be still in time



It's realy great how you point out all the consequences, that Willows absence from the School has, especially on Tara, but to the hole school.



Willow panicking about Tara beeing two minutes late was just adorable. And the hole kissing...



Great as usual...



Insanity

"Nobody messes with my girl!"Tara, Bargaining

[Velaingie]

Hello



Dudette, this update was just great or what. Hm, back to me again. The Willow babble in her mind now that just too funny, I really had to laugh out loud a lot in this update. I really liked to way you write Willow's babble and the whole story I also like, of course.

And the kiss was a really, really (yeah, that's exactly what I was looking for).

Bye

Velaingie

[oneinten]

Just wanted to say too that this is a fantastic story! I'm lovin' all of it and especially the Willow babble - it's an art form!



Can't wait for more!



kath

[JustSkipIt]

Ok, quick comments. I want to get this part posted before our “Best of Buffy” fest starts.



Insanity - You’re fine. Don’t worry about it. Yes there are many many differences in the two worlds: some big, some small.



Velaingie - Glad it made you laugh out loud. I thought it was fun.



Kath - Welcome. I’m glad you have joined and are enjoying.





Title – Paths Diverged/Divulged Part 15 – Exhibit



Author – JustSkipit - Debra



Spoilers –Season 6



Rating – Part 15 – R, yeah R, why not? I don’t know.



Disclaimer – Guess what, I don’t own W&T, Buffy or the rest of the BtVS crew. Any similarity to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental and fortunate. Also Rachel thinks I should point out that I don’t make any money from this…



Thoughts in italics



Flash backs indented



Memories and dreams indented AND italic







“There’s something I’d like to show you if you have a little while,” Tara told Willow as the two girls placed Willow’s laptop bag in her trunk a few hours later.



Willow got a thoughtful look on her face. “Hmmm. So basically this coffee and study date has the potential to last longer?” She leaned against the door to her car pulling Tara’s body close to hers as she ran her fingers lightly along the blonde’s neckline.



Tara purred as she leaned her head to one side luxuriating in the contact between them. She wound her hands in Willow’s hair telling the redhead, “I love the w-way your hair curls when it’s wet or it’s humid outside.” Before Willow could answer Tara pressed their lips together. At first the kiss was soft and gentle but quickly it grew more passionate. The taller girl’s hands began to wander up and down Willow’s back, snaking inside the waistband of her shirt and tracing along the bare skin of her spine. The redhead broke the kiss only long enough to trail her lips along Tara’s jaw before moving to her neck. Once there, she began sucking lightly at Tara’s pulse point, encouraged by Tara’s moaning. Reluctantly Tara pulled away, her eyes heavily lidded and gaze somewhat unfocused. “I…we…I want…,” she groaned taking a step backwards and a deep breath.



Willow smiled, her rosy lips showing the signs of their kisses. “You wanted to show me something?” After a few minutes they decided to leave Willow’s car at her hotel before taking Tara’s car on their expedition. As Tara drove, Willow noticed that the blonde was unusually quiet and decided to let the silence remain. She realized that if Tara wanted to talk, she would.



She was surprised as they pulled into the parking lot by a small building. It appeared to a small remodeled house. In front of the building was a sign saying “Women’s Work.” Hands entwined they walked through the doorway. A few people were scattered throughout the space all looking at a variety of artwork sparsely adorning the walls. A few sculptures sat in the middle of the rooms or on pedestals in the corners. The studio appeared to feature “women’s work,” hence the name and Willow took a few moments to slowly move around appreciating the art.



Willow could feel that Tara was nervous as a woman, obviously the curator of the small hall, approached and the redhead gently stroked her girlfriend’s hand with her thumb to let her know that she would talk if Tara wanted. The woman was smiling at them as she approached and stuck out her hand to greet the couple. “Hello Tara,” she began, surprising Willow that she knew the blonde’s name. But then, Tara seemed to get along well with people and to make an effort to get to know them. Perhaps she frequented the gallery?



“Hello Helen,” Tara responded. “Helen, this is…” was as far as she got before Helen cut her off to turn to Willow. “Well, it’s wonderful to finally meet Tara’s girlfriend,” she exclaimed as she stuck out her hand toward the redhead.



Willow was genuinely surprised at the greeting the owner was giving them. She seemed to really take an interest in her patrons, although how she about their relationship was beyond the redhead’s grasp. She momentarily dropped the blonde’s hand to shake the curator’s offered one responding, “nice to meet you too Helen.”



“W-w-we’d just like to take a l-look at the exhibit,” Tara stuttered. Helen looked back and forth between the two girls briefly before wishing them a good visit and wandering off. Willow noticed that the blonde was nervously looking back and forth to the archway to a room at the back of the building. Asking a question with her eyes she allowed the blonde to guide her slowly toward the archway. As they neared it she noticed the small card announcing the exhibit. “Angels and Demons: Tara Maclay,” the card read.



Willow looked open mouthed at Tara as she read the card over and over again. Tara had an art exhibit and hadn’t told her? Why wouldn’t she tell her? Was she shy of her work? Embarrassed? Did she not trust Willow to appreciate it? It’s not like I’m such a barbarian that I can’t appreciate art when I see it, the redhead pouted to herself as she puzzled why Tara would have kept this a secret.



At the same time this underscored another contrast between the two women. Her Tara loved her art but never had any interest in displaying any of it beyond the occasional student art show in high school. Since then she had continued to draw but had kept the work very private, sharing it only occasionally even with Willow or her other close friends and family. That this Tara had an art exhibit was a spectacular difference and Willow was completely intrigued.



Tara could feel Willow’s confusion and hurt and intrigue as it emanated through their linked palms. It wasn’t that she had been trying to hide anything from the redhead. The exhibit had been open since a few days before Willow had arrived but she just hadn’t had the chance to tell her. And the subject matter… When Willow had asked about her drawing at the christening she knew that she needed to bring the woman to see the exhibit. But she was worried about Willow’s reaction to the pieces.



The room where Tara’s exhibit was displayed was the smallest one in the building. It was narrower than it was deep with a large window on the wall opposite the archway. This effect would give tremendous natural light to one side of the room or the other at any time of the day. Still holding hands Willow stepped slowly over the threshold and followed the path of light to the wall to her left. She gasped upon first seeing the pieces framed there and dropped Tara’s hand moving slowly toward the wall.



Six framed drawings were hung on the wall. The first title card read “Muse” with a price listed by it. Unable to look at the art immediately she read the cards in succession and found that each held the same title. The prices ranged from a few hundred dollars to over a thousand and each was marked “sold.” She felt more than saw Tara fade back to allow her to absorb the drawings.



As she looked at the works she was impressed with the eye that Helen apparently had for hanging art. Rather than following a linear or thematic progression as Willow suspected she would have done with such a display, the woman had gone for the most blatantly sexual work first. The first painting in the series showed a woman, clearly Willow, her head thrown back in ecstasy, eyes closed and mouth open as if screaming out her orgasm. The work was incredibly intimate with her breasts and hard nipples jutted out as she arched her back and came up off the sheets. You could almost feel the tension in her body and in the hand which clutched a handful of sheet. The only thing keeping her most private area from being displayed was the head nestled at the apex of her legs, the long hair spread out over her thighs and in a way this was even more revealing than full exposure might have been.



Apparently going for contrast, the next drawing showed Willow sitting by a window drinking a cup of coffee on a rainy day. She looked out the window as if she longed to be somewhere else and the rain drops on the window looked incredibly like tears, as if the picture itself were crying. The third drawing showed her as she knew she had appeared a thousand times. She was asleep, sprawled across a pile of books that littered the table at the magic box. Somehow Tara had managed to capture the light which filled the center of the unusual research table at the shop. As she realized the setting for the drawing Willow looked up at Tara, the shock clearly ensconced on her face. What? How? She couldn’t even think of words in her mind to describe how confused she was by what she was seeing.



The fourth drawing was shocking to the redhead in that it seemed to be a departure from the prior works. While the first three drawings had clearly shown Willow’s face, this one was an extreme close-up. It showed a set of lips, teeth and tongue playfully visible, as those lips pulled away from a puckered nipple. The nipple was completely detailed with each dimple and pore clearly visible and the moisture on the lips appeared to have just been transferred to the skin of the nipple.



Glancing around she noted that Tara was sitting on a bench in the center of the small room. She quietly backed up to sit down and allow herself to take in the last two drawings. The fifth showed her as she stood at the side of a horse. She appeared to be leaning her head on the neck of the animal while caressing its mane as if she were seeking comfort from the motion. Two birds circled in the distance and Willow stood up from the bench to move toward the picture, extending her hand as if to stroke the birds. She was startled by Tara’s gentle voice: “you c-c-can’t touch them Will.”



The redhead made eye contact with the artist before turning to the last drawing, a smile gracing her face. She was sleeping sprawled half on her stomach, half on her side. Although a sheet was wrapped around her midsection, one leg poked playfully from the bed and she held a bundle of sheet in her hand as if in contrast to the bundle of sheet held in her hand in the first drawing. Part of one nipple showed around the tangled sheet and the effect was absolute innocence in direct contrast to the orgasmic intensity of the first drawing.



Taking a step back she allowed the power and beauty of the combination of drawings to soak in. It was overwhelming and confusing and intimate. She couldn’t imagine where this woman had found the inspiration for all these drawings from their one interaction. And how did she know about the table at the magic box? How did she capture Willow’s maturing appearance having only met her once in high school? How did she so accurately and realistically capture the image of the girl sleeping or experiencing orgasmic bliss? Willow smiled through her confusion as she realized why Helen had assumed that Willow was Tara’s girlfriend when introduced.



She turned slowly to see Tara sitting on the bench watching her intently for a hint of her reaction. As she did she was shocked by the burst of vivid colors coming from the works on the opposite wall. She looked briefly to the blonde who allowed her eyes to flicker over the paintings opposite before looking down at her hands again. The redhead walked as if in a spell toward the vividly painted artwork.



Again six works graced the walls and their arrangement in two rows of three paintings mirrored the arrangement of the drawings of Willow herself. However, that was where the comparison would have to stop. While the images of Willow were intense for the explicit or restrained sexual tension in them, these paintings leapt from the wall. It was no surprise to her that each work was already marked sold with prices twice that of the drawings of her, but she gasped as she took in the subject matter of the works.



The first painting showed a figure that Willow had only seen once and had never actually come in contact with. If it weren’t for the fact that the enjoining spell had allowed her to see what Buffy saw, she would not have recognized the half-man/half-demon immediately. His visage was filled with intensity and interest as he held up one arm, the blood-covered skewer from the Polgara demon dripping onto his leg as he looked at something on the floor. The suggestion that whatever or whoever he had just killed lay at his feet and garnered his curiosity was made even more startling by the fact that the painting did not include the dead or maimed body. His face could have been half-demon or just scarred beyond recognition and the staples in his chest were horrifying in a way that Willow had never experienced when she was one with the slayer’s strength. Forcing herself to tear her eyes from the image she read the card and couldn’t even be shocked that the painting bore the title, “Adam.”



As her eyes flicked to the next painting, Willow for the first time doubted Helen’s placement of the works. Two figures were in the painting. The first was Becky, Tara’s mother and her rendering of the woman was absolutely heavenly. Her hair was the same golden blonde as Tara’s with the same smooth skin. However, the viewer would never be able to appreciate the blue of her eyes since her eyelids were closed. Her body looked peaceful and comfortable nestled in the cushioning within the casket, as if she were just taking a nap. Surprisingly the artist had painted herself not at age 17, which Willow knew would have been accurate, but as a young child of 5 or 6. She stood by the casket holding flowers in one hand and stroking the hand of her mother. Tears rolled down her face and her mouth was open as if she were speaking to the woman. The card by the painting was labeled “Forever” and it had gone for the highest amount.



As she turned toward Tara Willow realized that tears were flowing from her own eyes. She attempted to speak but could not think of anything to say her mouth opening and closing. Reaching the blonde she kneeled in front of her on the ground and placed a soft kiss on the palm of her hand. She heard a low cry from Tara’s throat. Not knowing what else to do Willow suddenly grasped the blonde’s cheeks with her hands and pressed their lips together. As she pulled back she looked into vivid blue eyes rimmed with pink, eyes which urged her to finish looking at the artwork.



Reluctantly Willow turned back toward the arresting works splayed along the wall. Of course, she inanely thought. A group of three demons in dark suits floated in the air. They had gleaming metallic teeth and were accompanied by two lackeys wearing straightjackets and lumbering down the corridor. Their faces were horrifying and the scalpel one of them held glistened with wet blood.



Willow had to stare at the next painting for a few seconds before she recognized the demon in it. She had only ever seen her in her human visage, never as the vengeance (or as she said, justice) demon. Apparently whatever source gave Tara the sight for these works allowed her to see Halfrek as she had looked when she cast the spell to keep them all in the house on Buffy’s birthday. Her demon face appeared clearly shocked by the fact that a sword had just been thrust through her torso by a blurred figure in the background. Someone looking at the picture might think that even a demon couldn’t live through that. The card read “Wish” and Willow was starting to wonder if Tara knew why she had named the works as she had.



The fifth painting shocked Willow more than any other she had seen. It was clearly a painting of her but not her. It was like a picture of herself, but not herself. She looked paler than she did in reality but also more alert. She was raising her hand and her mouth was slightly open as if she were speaking. If someone wasn’t paying attention they would never have noticed the small fangs protruding from her mouth or the way that her tongue darted out to flick a drop of blood from her lip. Ironically she felt more embarrassed by the revealing black leather outfit she wore in this picture than in the drawings on the opposite wall. She expected the card to read “Muse” again but understood the actual title: “Never.”



Willow actually thought that the sight of the painting of Tara’s mother would break her heart more than anything she could ever see here but the next painting literally knocked her to her knees. As she got her first glance of the painting her world went dark. The next thing she knew Tara was sitting at her side, apparently she hurt too badly to kneel, pressing a cold wash-cloth to the back of her neck. She held out a glass of water and Willow saw Helen in the archway. The red-haired witch suspected that the woman had heard her fall and brought the water. Willow took the glass carefully and drank with shaking hands.



Without speaking she stood to take in the final painting in the “demons” section of the display. As she looked she reached out to stroke the horse, as if Chestnut could possibly feel her touch, as if she could possibly help that broken body. Even as she heard Helen’s intake of breath she didn’t move her fingers away from the canvas, allowing them to stroke the paint. She almost expected to feel the softness of the horse’s hair on the side of its neck but restrained herself from touching the leg, so broken and bent and twisted that no one who had ever seen a horse run could imagine that this animal could ever do so again. As she lifted her fingers from the painting she looked to see: had the blood pouring from the hole in Chestnut’s skull actually stained her hand? She lifted her hand to her face as if in a daze, attempting to smell the blood and smelling only the saltwater of her own tears. Next her fingers traced each letter on the title card: “The End.”

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"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or demons, heaven or hell." - The Buddha

[TemperedCynic]

JustSkipIt, you have amazed me with this update. Angels and Devils, indeed! You can feel Willow's emotion as she pauses before every painting and views her own life through Tara's artistic lens. And when Willow reaches the paintings of Tara's life, it's simply too much. Damn, that was powerful writing! I need to go hug 10 people, right now.

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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[32flavors]

Oh, wow, Debra! Now you've completely reset the scale for wonderfully surprising twists and turns!



The saying goes that a picture can say more than a 100 - or a 1000 whatever - words, right? Well, these paintings sure say a lot, don't they. Even if they are just words, they stand out so clearly, just beautiful. And hot! I think I've been going to all the wrong exhibits...



For Tara to paint something that sexually explicit is a bit of a surprise, and then again, maybe not? I mean the other Tara was able to live it all with Willow, both psysically and emotionally, where as this one cleary has the emotions but no one to share them with, so she pours it all into her art??



I'm can't wait to see where you are going to take us with this Tara-knows-about-both-dimentions-thing. Is that why she waited for Willow all those years?? Because she knew that eventually she would come to her?? Or because she knew who her true love would be, nomatter if she came or not, and she wouldn't settle for less?? Ahh, the suspense!!



Thank you for another wonderful update, it's a joy to read



Diana

[Arwen276]

Hey Debra!



I understand why this part is your favorite ever... it's most probably mine as well!

It's just it revealed everything, about Tara's feelings, in a way, but it's also very odd, HOW COULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE SEEN ALL OF THOSE THINGS?

There must have been a connection somewhere, and she was having these images as dreams. It reminds me of the previous parts where Tara remembers dreaming about Will in various places (I had forgotten to mention it)

I like the titles of the paintings of course, "muse", etc. It seems that Willow has always been her muse from the moment that she saw her.

I like the way you played with the angels and demons, maybe the demons are the demons of her past, past life, alternate life, nightmares...

and the angels are her dreams, safeguarding her from the bad guys.

Of course the shock was with Tara's mum's painting, oh and in this AU did she die when Tara was 6? and I gotta tell ya, I hadnt expected to see Chestnut as the "big " shock... I thought that maybe the painting was about Tara (1)'s death? or her grave? It's spooky of course, but I dunno, for a while I just thought about it.

Okay after much silly thoughts, let me add a final one, I think there's a message Tara's trying to get to Willow, that she sees her as her angel, she's releasing her feelings to the open.

We see how much Willow realises the difference between the 2 Taras and she finds it intriguing, hence worth pursuing, probably she's ready for a new relationship...



But I dunno, it's 1.20 am at my side of the planet,it always is when you post Debra... but always WORTH IT! so everything I said up there might be a little,too babbly and non-sensy...



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[Imperfectly Me]

Wow. I normally don't do the feedback thing, cause my computer is kinda iffy on whether or not it'll let me post them, but I had to do it for this update. That was some seriously powerful writing. I hope to see more soon.



Aimee

Who were you then? And who are you now? That you think you can figure it all out, the mathematics of regret. It takes two beers to remember now, and five more to forget. That I love you so..what. Yeah I love you so..what.

[Rage More]

this has got to be the most amazing chapter i've ever read. it's so full of emotion it's unbelieveable. props to you, it's......amazing.



sionan

"Rage More" Paulie- Lost and Delirious

[bluewillowwitch]

JustSkipIt,

I loved that update! OMG! Those paintings were sooo amazing. and have a talk coming I can see it. The one pictue that I didn't get was the one with 's mom dieing and her being 5 or 6. Is gonna find out about that? Well I can't wait to more. Update soon, please?





bluewillowwitch

---------------------------------------------

"Fate keeps on happening."--Anita Loos

[The Rose24]

This says it all.



WOW! This chapter is truly breath-taking. At first, I was thinking it will be great to see some of Tara's artwork, but what I actually get to see completely floors me. I am living Y'all all over again through Tara's artwork. The drawings of Chestnut and Tara's mother affects me the most. I can just see how Tara feels through the pictures. Atleast I know where Tara gets some (or most) of her money.



You are so evil!! Now, I have more questions. How in the world does this Tara know all of these things about Willow? Did these images of Willow appear in her dreams? Did she know Willow would be coming after her? You are doing this on purpose aren't you? Arrgghh! This is going to be torture waiting for the next update. I am ready to see how Tara explains herself. I've been waiting for this ever since the beginning.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Edited by: The Rose24  at: 8/7/03 7:06 pm

[darkmagicwillow]

Tara's pictures in this chapter are simply incredible; you use so few words to make them so vivid in our minds, almost tangible, and the emotional impact on both Willow and the reader is palpable. I thought the first image would have the strongest impact because of its surprisingly explicit sexual content, but the emotional and visual impact of the scene reverberated more and more strongly with picture after picture until we reach the most powerful image of all with the final tragic painting of Chestnut's death. I love how you deftly confirm and shape the reader's reactions to the paintings with Willow's thoughts and feelings; her attempts to touch the birds and her stroking the painting of Chestnut are especially powerful moments that clearly show the impression the pictures are making upon Willow.



I completely understand Tara's hesitancy in showing Willow her drawings. The content of the images is a shock, both for the depth of Tara's knowledge of the Buffyverse they evince (how did she have a chance to live her own life while she was living so much of the other Tara's life, or is that the problem for her?) and for the lucid revelations of Tara's innermost feelings which they expose, so unexpected in such a shy person. Showing these pictures to Willow indicates that Tara's ready to move further ahead with their relationship, as she shares the secret of how much she already knows about Willow and as she exposes the depth of her own feelings, both about Willow and her own life with the images of her mother's death and Chestnut.



Upon further reflection, I've discovered another reason why this chapter has such a powerful effect. In this scene, the similarities and differences of the two Taras clash with a clangorous din like the angels and demons of the exhibit's title fighting in their eternal war. The fact that one Tara is so private about her art that she often doesn't share it with Willow, while the other Tara shares hers with the world is a spectacular difference, yet the very content of the paintings contradicts that difference by revealing a deep sameness of feeling and memory. This scene vehemently exposes the essential paradox of Tara's identity to Willow, with her being both Tara and not Tara, forcing Willow (and us, the readers) to confront that unanswerable question.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 8/4/03 7:09 am

[xita]

Wow, I can see your fondness for this part, it was just marvelous. What a way for Willow to find out that there is some connection between her Tara and this Tara. And your description of the paintings and how they affected willow, wow, just perfect. I anticipated to see the paintings dealing heavily with her accident, going by the title, so the whole thing surprised me, pleasantly so. Now they have a lot to talk about.. wow.

- - - - - - - - - - -
"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."

-Willie Wonka

[justin]

That was a brilliant part.



Everyone else has summed up my thoughts on it very well so I'll just say that I'm looking forward to the next part and the big talk between Willow and Tara

I understand, you should be with the person you l-love


I am

[Betinha]

Angels and Demons indeed.



That was an amazing update. Your descriptions are extremely well written, and I could almost feel like I was in the room looking at the pictures myself. Overwhelming. Over on this side of the planet, I'm just starting my workday, and this was quite a rush of emotions for one morning. Wow.



And it all just says so much about the way things are evolving in the story. The way Willow is realizing just how different this Tara is, but at the same time has so many connections to Tara1. As for the painting with Tara's mom, was she in fact a child when it happened in this world or is it just the way the artist projected herself and her feelings into the painting? In other words, Tara seeing herself as a lost child without her mother?



Oh, so much to say, so little time...

[Grimlock72]

Interesting how much can be conveyed in just 10 paintings...



I can see why Tara would be hesitant to show Willow those pictures, since it clearly IS Willow in them . No wonder Helen recognized her immediatly. Should be fun once Willow realizes those *cough*angelic*cough* paintings of her with Tara will be hanging in someone else's home soon, heh. Can't think of anything more emberassing at the moment : -->



Not only does this exposition give us insight into this Tara, it also raises some questions. Most importantly; how did Tara know all that ? If she dreamt it she must have had some horrible nightmares. I don't think she dreamt about Tara being shot though, based on her reaction when Willow told them.



I liked the painting of Tara's mother and a young Tara best. I know Willow liked Chestnut but can't imagine why the picture made her faint... yet. Might need to re-read that part, as Willow fainting is not fun of course. (ok, I can think of one *good* reason to faint, heh).



Of all the paintings I would most like to hear the story behind _Never_. All the other paintings are fairly straight-forward, which I like. Heck, even the title _Never_ makes me wonder... never *what* ? And why do I tend to confuse that painting with the one of Willow and the two birds, very odd.



Are there other visitors walking around in the gallery ? I'm trying to imagine how they'll look at Willow after they've seen Tara's paintings : --> . Given that Helen recognized Willow immediatly Tara must be a good painter as far as realism goes. Better not tell Helen they met about a week ago :-)



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 8/4/03 12:08 pm

[darkmagicwillow]

---

Glancing around she noted that Tara was sitting on a bench in the center of the small room. She quietly backed up to sit down and allow herself to take in the last two drawings. The fifth showed her as she stood at the side of a horse. She appeared to be leaning her head on the neck of the animal while caressing its mane as if she were seeking comfort from the motion. Two birds circled in the distance and Willow stood up from the bench to move toward the picture, extending her hand as if to stroke the birds. She was startled by Tara’s gentle voice: “you c-c-can’t touch them Will.”

---

Arwen, you mentioned that you expected to see a painting about Tara's death, so I'd like to point out that this painting appears to focus on that subject. Willow's alone in this image, seeking comfort; she sees the paired birds in the distance, representing herself and the former Tara together, but she cannot reach them no matter how hard she tries. The new Tara confirms to her that she can't touch the pair, meaning that she can't return to the past she once had now that Tara is gone. There's a stark contrast between the quiet, sad longing and serene symbolism of this painting, representing one Tara's end, with the gory reality of the final image, representing the painter's own end.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 8/4/03 6:48 am

[Grimaldi]

wow, that was amazing reading the descriptions of the artwork, i could picture what they looked like in my mind

I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
Oh, relax, Casper, I'm not here to interrupt your blissing. Too much makes you go blind, though, you know

[Rage More]

i forgot to read your re-feedback thingy, yes sionan is my name, it's gaelic for shannon, which makes it a girls name. i love my name :-D



sionan

"Rage More" Paulie- Lost and Delirious

[littlecrazy80]

Wow!

This was such an amazing update!

I could see the paintings clearly in my mind. The descriptions were fantastic.

I´m curious how Tara2 knew all these things. Was there something like a bond between Tara and Tara2?



*lil´c*

Let´s get happy and let´s be gay. germany´s grand prix song



Check this out

[good2cats]

Hi Debra, The update was both outstanding and astounding you painted with your words what a painter would be hard pressed to do with a brush.Those images evoked feelings and emotions that were palpable.You madam are amazing.I await your next update breathlessly.Take care,Karen

[Insanity]

WOW!!! This update was really amazing.



When you started with the first picture, I Thought : Wow, where can I buy one of those. , but then I realized, I don't need to buy it, I already have it. In my head.



I'm not much of an art-person. I don't like pictures, that are red allover and tehn named "blue" or such.

But these paintings, I could really see them before my eyes, you described them just so well.



And the last picture, OMG, I got knocked in my stomach.



I think there is a lot of talking ahead. Tara opens herself up to Willow so completely through this paintings.



I'm looking forward to the next update.



This is a really wonderful part. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.....



(standing ovations) Insanity

"Nobody messes with my girl!"Tara, Bargaining

Edited by: Insanity  at: 8/4/03 12:01 pm

[2DIAMONDS]

Wow, I don't know where to begin. Well first, You have a tremendous talent, you really do. I'm an amateur writer, and if I could write with even a fraction of your creativity I'd be very pleased. I've fallen in love with this story...Much like "Season 3 Ya'll" and "Turned," this is a story that I will read over and over again. So thanks for these three gifts.



The update started so well! Willow and Tara are together, maybe not in every sense of the word, but they're definitely in each other's hearts.



I was wondering how Tara would go about sharing the images of her Willowdreams. I guess it was easier to show Willow rather than try to express it verbally. It says a lot to me about this Tara that she would show Willow her paintings when the other Tara shied away from the attention, especially when these images are so very personal and intimate. Is it now safe to assume that Tara is certain, or at the very least, more convinced that she and Willow are soulmates? That they belong to each other? More, more, more! Update soon, please?!



Helen

xoxo

[Washi]

Deb Oh Deb! I was just amazed by this chappy. Okay,so you probably figured that I'm a big fan of yours and that I love whatever you write, but this part was just wow.

First of all, the intimacy of Tara's Willow dreams, the intensity, and yet the love.

That's completely in contrast to the last one which totally got me just by the quote. The words "The End" could be interpreted in many ways, so I won't start.

I'll just praise ya and add an altar to worship ya.

Hope to see more soon!

-------------------



"See? I've mastered this tact crap." Anya in Tears Of The Goddess by Lisa

[Stroke of Luck]

Wow that was a GREAT update....really emotional.....i knew she would touch a pic, but that broke down....well it was really difficult for Willow to see all those pictures.

But why does Tara knows how Willow looks like when she has an orgasm.....hmm were her dreams so realistic?



Great update Debra....more pls



Cu

SoL/Natti

This is a duet, Amber! You need to sing!"- Tony

[barnabasvamp]

I must say, the descriptions of the paintings was just awesome.



I could see them in my own mind, and it was wonderful!

BV

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before"-Mae West

[shuyaku]

Um... wow! That was simply wow. When I teasingly asked about what Tara wanted to show Willow, I definitely was not prepared for this update.



The drawings and paintings, with what we already know about the particular 'angels' and 'demons' described are amazingly vivid in my mind's eye. The images of Willow are fabulously sensual and therefore in startling contrast to the evil portrayed in the paintings.



I'm not too shocked that T2 is showing these images. It must be extremely cathartic - especially since all were purchased, some for inferred large sums. Obviously others have been touched by the emotion she chose to share and this has to be gratifying. Also, they have been on display since before Willow showed up. I seriously doubt T2 had any inkling Willow would ever see them. With this in mind, I was a tad shocked that she decided to show Willow the way she did. But again this emphasizes the many differences you have been weaving throughout the story.



Willow's reaction to 'The End' was heartbreaking. When T2 told Willow about the incident, I imagine it was with a sort of determined distance necessitated by the trauma itself and time passing. I feel this image brought that terrible event to a vivid reality. One that the redhead was utterly unprepared to bear witness to.



I'm hoping we get a 'longer conversation' in which Tara tries to explain her inexplicable ability and maybe need to render those images (and probably others that didn't make it into the show.) She obviously had some kind of 'link' to T1 and as briefly referred to several updates ago, the dreams suddenly stopped with T1's untimely death.



DMV's interpretation of the meaning of the drawing with Willow, Chestnut and the two birds and Tara's statement "you c-c-can't touch them Will." is utterly insightful. Unfortunately, it is seemingly at odds with my theory that T2 lost her link when T1 died. So, Miss Master of Muse, some assistance if you please...



Fantastic update!

-shuyaku

[SilverWingedNemesis]

oh wow...



that was just.. really intense...



*sighs* MAYBE just maybe i'll get my fic finished.. and it'll be half as good as this...



I can't believe how alive you made those scenes.. I could see each painting in my head...



Great work ....



excellent...



*hugs*



Nickole

"All fear is the fear of loss. And only through that fear, can we truly love."

[the vamp nurd]

WOW!



I'm reduced to saying that, I love this part Angels and Demons......

geez I'm not going to even comment anymore, I'm just blown away.

Sorry I missed church, I was busy becoming a lesbian and worshiping Satan



Bardlet no #27