FIC: The Dark Rose

[Rane018]

hi my darling! hehe, i was away all week on a cruise that fortunately did not get the flu like thingy going around in all the cruise lines lately. I have to admit i just couldn't stay away during my holiday and i used the ships email station to read your updates! glad i did. loved the ghost and amy and everything else. I was kinda hoping for giles to see willow but i'm sure it'll come up soon.



well, the .50 a minute did not leave me enough time to read other fics so i'm off to catch up on a weeks worth of fics.



happy moving!!!!

"We're forgetting about the troll. Let's pay attention to the troll." Tara, Triangle

[Tulipp]

Oh boy!



I'm so glad you've arrived and that your cat has his stuff. Also, I've been composing you a little poem/tune, as I sometimes like to do, to be sung to the tune of "Scooby Dooby Doo."



I think this is because SD was on the plane when I returned from Denver, and although I didn't pay to hear it, I couldn't take my eyes away.



So here goes (remember the tune):



DMW

Where are you?

I hope you're moved in by now.



DMW

Where are you?

We want you to reply now.







That's the whole thing.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[LeatherQueen]

Great to see you and kitty made the trip successfully, DMW!



And Tulipp, your song is inspiring. 'Course, now I'll be singing the blasted thing all night...

"We've got the only librarian who can rip off your arm with his leg. People respect that." - Terry Pratchett

[hermitstull]

Great stuff!



The moments between Tara and Willow are great. Both want to get closer but are afraid of what could happen. And of course, they always expect the worse.



I really loved the flashback and how Willow took care of the Council. Rock on witcha bad self! Again, it shows how, well evil, Willow has been in the past all in the quest that is based on love. But things are gonna change, I can feel it.



I just love this fic! Looking forward to the next update-

hermitstull

"...and if you've got no other choice, you know you can follow my voice, through the dark turns and noise of this wicked little town..."--Hedwig and the Angry Inch



"Stinky herbs are a go." Cordelia in Becoming pt. 2

[VampNo12]

Really enjoyed this part DMW, (and thanks Tulipp for posting the update)! I think what struck a chord with me was Willow thinking, ("...but they had tomorrow."). It's such a simple statement, but it holds so much meaning when taken into context with the life Willow has led for the past 19 years. With this in mind, I found Willow's recollection of surviving the attempt on her life by the Watcher's Council (such a tangible scene to me), as well as Willow's realization of ("She knew that she had to see Tara in the light. If they were going to have a relationship, it couldn't be limited to the shadows of the dark places she'd haunted all these years."), spoke so well of a "hardened" Willow who was just getting by, surviving to reach another day in order to find Tara's soul, but she wasn't truly living.



Willow has basically kept the world at "arm's length" (ie surrounded by a shield that is hard to penetrate), and thus I loved these lines ("She had carried a tremendous burden of anger and grief and all those years alone and this was the first time she could put it down, and let herself feel safe and secure in someone's arms. Even through the leather she wore she could feel Tara's heart beating strongly against her chest. Everything would be all right as long as she could feel that."), sigh so beautiful. Really this conveys so well that knowing (and feeling) that Tara is indeed alive, she can now let some of her barriers down (start to venture into the "light"). No, it won't be easy (ie Willow is "scarred" from the past), but with the significance of "tomorrow" there is hope for what the future holds, and with Tara she can learn again to rely on their connection for strength.



Lastly, poor Tara not wanting to stay in the hospital (ie bringing up negative memories/feelings of the past with her mother), but I loved how Willow knew how to offer comfort (protect her from her "nightmares"), which was something the Tara from the past was able to offer Willow at one time. Also I found Willow freaking (ie her need to be prepared) quite enlightening in terms of this "dark" Willow with "old" Willow peeking through. Or in other words, in the beginning she was lashing out at herself for not being prepared enough where she would need to know about Tara's medical history, or wondering if this hospital was the best one to take Tara for treatment. Here the doubt and uncertainty is making Willow agitated, and thus her "darkness" comes to the forefront when she interacts with the doctor, (her need to see Tara "NOW", to confirm Tara is safe/fine). However, at the end of this chapter Willow is excited/angsty, but here it's the Willow of "old", needing time to prepare for her "date". I guess I am saying in a rambling way is that Tara's presence (knowing she will be fine) settles Willow, and thus her pain is somewhat lessened so we can see more of her old personality come to the surface (more of her "light") Can't wait for the next part!

Edited by: VampNo12  at: 12/3/02 12:43:41 am

[mollyig]

Typical of Willow to berate herself for not knowing about Tara's allergies and not knowing the best hospital. It must have been so difficult for her to stand by powerless.



The Watcher's Council considering Willow a threat enough to send a team after her. I'm intrigued as to her offer to them, and how exactly she brought about their demise.

---

I happen to think mine is the level head,
and yours is the one things would roll off of.

[Sister Bertrille]

Your title for this chapter, “Wards,” is very apt (give Juli a raise!). Or as Aretha Franklin would have said, Who’s Warding Who?” The CoW, charged with warding Willow, end up being something to be warded off and against. Spirit has much better luck as Giles’ (and Tara’s) ward, who risk their lives to protect her, even though she is the slayer, and they (and humanity) are her wards. And then there’s Willow and Tara. One would think that it is the younger, less experienced Tara who is Willow’s ward, but this Willow, despite her great power, is perhaps the character most in need of warding, especially from herself.



Not to mention hospital wards, voting wards, and Hugh Beaumont as Ward Cleaver!



SB

[Tulipp]

You know, Sister Bertrille, you saw even more nuances to the "wards" than I did....the idea of Spirit as Tara's ward eluded me, as did the idea that Willow might need wards against even herself. Now I'm thinking maybe Willow should go to Montgomery Ward to buy those new clothes she mentioned for her date....what do you think, DMW? A trip to the mall?



I'm so interested by what people are responding to here, maybe because I read this chapter in its various forms so many times. I noticed that Willow's eyes and Tara's response to them, Willow's darkness, the intimacy between W and T, and "where's Giles" came up a lot. Also the flashback...



I love the flashback in this chapter....it makes me see not just, as Hermitsull pointed out, Willow's darkness or even evility, but also the tremendous pain she has become accustomed to as a matter of course. It adds such a texture to this story to see this other Willow...almost as if there is not just Willow 1 and Willow 2, as Big Dummy proposed, but even a Willow 3. I feel like--and maybe we'll see more of this in future chapters--the Willow of the flashbacks is another Willow altogether, one that we don't really have access to except in retrospect, and so she takes on a ghostly that, for me, hovers always around the edges of my reading.



But this was a wonderful chapter.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[sheila wt]

I know this is just the beginning of this fic, but it's so good that it's already one of my all-time favorites. Wonderfully written! We can feel their emotions on our skin and, Goddess, it's so painful to see Willow not being able to touch and be with Tara the way she (and all of us) wants... but, they're on the right way, that's what's important. I'm sure the future will put these where they belong, as always.



Can't wait for more!!!!

--------------------------
"She had tasted Willow on her tongue, and she had worn Willow on her skin. There wasn't a shower in the world that could have washed that away." (Terra Firma, by Tulipp)

Edited by: sheila wt at: 12/3/02 2:14:50 pm

[darkmagicwillow]

Thanks to Tulipp for answering replies and posting chapter 9. And for the song! Here I am, not lost any longer.



Chapter 10 is off to the betas and should be ready on Thursday. I'm actually writing faster after the move as my kitty is off exploring the new house instead of sitting on my notebook, carrying off my pen, or meowing while I dictate my handwritten corrections which causes the computer to get very odd ideas about what I'm saying. One of my favorites of his was "cacophony ceiling." I don't know what it means, but I like it.



I still don't have my computer yet, but at least I have a real internet connection now to post with. I used to wonder how writers could miss someone's feedback, but with how many people are responding and with how poorly this piece of junk scrolls, I thought I should apologize just in case I do miss someone. If I do miss you, email me and let me know.



LeatherQueen: Thanks. In a way, it felt like I was able to lay down and relax myself for a while with that scene after writing so much of the dark earlier chapters.



Btw, don't believe her readers. She's just as guilty as Tulipp.



Grimmy: The CoW wasn't big on anyone whose not under their control serving their grand plan. More on them next chapter. I'd almost forgotten about FireStarter, but you'll see what Willow can do with her active defenses later.



BigDummy: It's actually good that you're thrown by how dark Willow has become and how easily she resorts to magic without a second thought. Willow feels justified in her use of magic as it was the only way she could think of to bring Tara back, but she was wrong about that. Willow knows this now and she will have to confront the problem of how she uses magic as will Tara.



Your post wasn't confusing at all, and was in fact, quite perceptive. There's no need to worry about offending me--unless it's by not giving me feedback at all! (-;



Silver: I'm happy you can see the light in the darkness. As for smoochies, well, there is a date coming up, or is meeting for coffee a real date after all? (-;



tiredsoul: I will have to find other, more precipitious cliffhangers for you since you missed the earlier ones. I'm glad Willow's memory felt chilling; it definitely should be. Thanks for your kind words about the descriptions of the action and the magic.



Rane: I'm envious of the cruise, but so happy that you went to the trouble of following my story while you were away. Glad to hear that you didn't get sick too. Thanks.



Tulipp: Thanks for the song! Are you a plane movie virgin too, I mean at least for paying for them? I watch them on international flights when they're free and my neck would be permanently crooked from reading in a tiny seat for 8+ hours. Maybe I'd pay if they'd ever show a good one ... I got the Bourne Identity.



hermitstull: Your words gave me the image of Willow and Tara dancing together, slowly and tentatively closing towards each other. That somehow fits these early stages very well in my mind.



VampNo12: I really like what you say about the quote

---

But they had tomorrow...

---

I hadn't thought of its significance in the way you did, but you're so right. Willow's been trying to live in yesterday, having lost all hope of tomorrow when Tara died.



What you say about the lines where Willow lays down her burden of grief makes me feel that I've really connected with my readers. In part, this story is about laying down our grief over Tara's death and finding a new incarnation of her here, and not just here, but everyplace in Pens. It's hard to do, but reading here and writing here has helped a lot and I can go back and watch the older episodes I loved and enjoy them once again.



mollyig: Willow doesn't do helpless very well. As for your question about the CoW, chapter 10 may provide the answers you seek.



Sister Bertrille: Tulipp's right, you saw more Wards that she or I did in this story. I like the new connections you draw with Spirit as Tara's ward and the idea of Willow needing warding from herself. Using magic on yourself can be dangerous though. Even binding promises can be thought of as a form of magic.



There's also the movement of Willow and Tara's relationship foreWards and the recession of dark Willow backWards away from them, or maybe I'm just getting silly at this point.



Tulipp: Didn't I just answer your feedback? (-;



You still didn't see enough Giles after he gets knocked out? I really did add more with each revision. I'm intrigued by your idea of three Willows. Has she really changed so much just from meeting Tara? Perhaps she has. Hope can make as much difference to your life as anything and that is one thing Tara's return has undeniably brought her.



I'm not sure about Willow at the mall; dark witches are mostly online shoppers according to the studies I've read. There might be casualties, lots of people turned into rats, especially if one of the perfume ladies is foolish enough to squirt her. However, I'm thinking of something along the lines of Bill and Ted bad, not Day of the Dead bad (which was filmed at the Monroeville Mall btw).



sheila wt: Thank you so much. I love this quote from your feedback:

---

We can feel their emotions on our skin

---

If I've done that, I can really feel like I succeeded with what I was trying to do with this story.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 12/3/02 7:21:14 pm

[frumpycat]

Wow! All¡¦s I can say is wow! With some exclamation points: !!!! Awesome fanfic. I¡¦m new to the whole fanfic scene but this is definitely one of the best I¡¦ve read and am hooked. Heard about this board from the Buffyguide forums and after seeing some kitten postings decided to check it out. Read your fanfic first. If this is the caliber of writing on this board I¡¦m in heaven.



I love Willow coming back 19 years later and really like your take on the magic. I¡¦ve never liked the whole ¡§Willow on Rack¡¨ addiction theme. Your take on magic where the degree of magic abuse is ultimately decided by the user is more palatable by far. And the Tara/Willow interaction, fantastic. Your writing style flows smoothly and pulled me in from the first chapter and I like your ¡§elements¡¨ description of different fanfics.



I¡¦m curious about two things. I wonder if Willow killed or caused the deaths of innocents in her quest to find Tara and has become, in effect, evil? Also, spending 19 years obsessing on one person and going deeper and deeper into dark arts and isolating yourself from normal people can¡¦t be good. Has she held onto her true self or has she become somewhat deranged from her single-minded quest?



Willow going evil: At least to me it seemed inferred that Willow did some ¡§prid quo pro¡¨ in dealing with dark forces. She had Wolfram and Hart help her out for a ¡§price¡¨. Was this for services rendered? To do such a big favor for her she must have done something very important to Wolfram and Harts goals. I see this at least indirectly leading to the deaths of innocents. Also the dark teachers whom she trained with. They couldn¡¦t have been helping her out of the goodness of their hearts. They must have seen some advantage to releasing a more powerful, dark Willow into the world for their own ends.



Even though I¡¦m not the biggest fan of the Watchers they have generally stood for, in their own misguided way, for good and stopping evil, no matter how ineffectual at times. Willow must have done something really bad or become such a threat to their ideals that they went after her. And for them not to compromise? Yikes. I guess Willow¡¦s reaction was forced in self defense and other measures such as faking her death, going underground, etc. wouldn¡¦t have worked. Does Giles know about her destruction of the Watcher¡¦s Council?



If Willow did aid the forces of darkness leading to innocent deaths and did wipe out those striving for good what would Tara think if she found out that Willow killed others to get her back?



Willow deranged: Not only did she spend 19 years obsessing on one person and going deeper and deeper into dark arts it appears she wasn¡¦t striving to help others at all. Everything she did was to further her own goals and ends. This single minded obsession is scary and I¡¦m curious what happened to the Willow who stayed with Buffy in Sunnydale instead of going to school abroad so she could help others and fight evil. I¡¦m seeing glimpses of that Willow in your writing so I¡¦m curious to see if there will be a redemption of some sort via Tara.



Now I can¡¦t wait to read:

„h Tara and Willow¡¦s first true kiss (sigh!).

„h Giles and Willow meeting after all those years.

„h What happened to the other Scoobies.

„h And of course, the continued interaction with T/W.



Sorry for babbling but damn your fanfic has got me hooked. Looking forward to Thursday and good luck with your settling in!

[allyson12]

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but loving this story!



I like the unique story arc, a dark magic Willow finally meeting a woman with Tara's gentle soul. I've getting anxious wondering if and how will these two very different people establish a relationship. Can Tara's magic tame the wild darkness in Willow's heart?



-Allyson

"After one take, Joss did say, 'Can we have one that's less like you're going to sleep together in about five minutes?'" - Alyson Hannigan

[Tiggrscorpio]

DMW, just catching up on the last few updates. This story is so intense. I absolutely adore it. Amy's still ambivalent as ever, Two Masters and a thrilling action scene in the Library.



Tara's reaction to Willow's dark magick eyes was wonderful. Very typical of her to hold Willow's gaze. I love it. The influence Tara already has over Willow is interesting. The bit about trying a spell without dark magick was brilliant. Again, very true to character.



I like how you're revealing what has happened over the years in flashbacks. I sometimes think the Watcher's Council are the true evil.



Very much looking forward to more. Thanks for an entertaining read.

*****



She's my everything!

[darkmagicwillow]

Argh, caught a cold today as I haven't been sleeping enough, but I spent the day in bed reading the story and making last minute changes to chapter 10 to drive my betas crazy. There will be an update tomorrow ... unless they revolt and overthrow me in protest. (-;



Edited to add:

Well, I can't sleep so after incorporating Leatherqueen' corrections to tomorrow's, well today's, chapter, I'm back here rambling at you. It snowed while I got a few hours of sleep and the undisturbed covering of white is beautiful outside. I've missed the snow for so long so I'm happy to have it back though the snow plows will be through soon and the day will start, and hopefully I'll get back to sleep.



frumpycat: First post and what a reaction! Coolness.



Is Willow evil? I would say "no," but some might disagree with me especially after reading the next chapter which will answer a lot of the questions you asked. She has done some evil things in her intense obsession with getting Tara back, but as you hope one of the major themes of this story is her redemption. Secrets are coming out starting with the next chapter and Willow and Tara will both be changed by what they learn. We will slowly get to the rest of Willow's history that you asked about.



I don't think she was insane except possibly in "Two to Go" and "Grave," where temporary insanity is the best explanation I can come up with, but she is blinded by her obsession with Tara and she'll have to confront that if she wants a healthy realationship.



As for the four things you wanted to see, I can promise that we will get to all of them, perhaps sooner than you might think.



allyson: Thanks. Like I suggested above, Willow definitely has to learn and grow to have a good relationship with Tara, but sometimes differences are what you need for growth.



Tiggrscorpio: I'm thrilled to hear that the action sequence was thrilling and I'm happy that you like the flashbacks ... I was a little worried there were too many.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 12/5/02 2:12:16 am

[Tulipp]

Well, you're in luck, DMW.



My Revolt and Overthrow outfit is at the dry cleaner's. And I can't find my Coup shoes.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[BoredNow99]

DMW, I caught up on three chapters last night and then blatantly didn't bother to reply to them because I am very, very bad.



All three were corking chapters, so vivid and suspenseful and nerve-wracking.



I loved Willow's appearance in Giles' office - so typical he was conked out again and missed it - particularly her fear at showing Tara her eyes, then the relief that flooded through her when Tara didn't look away.



I also really liked that little spark of tension that arose when they were trying to get rid of the master. Willow going towards the dark magic, Tara bringing her back to the light.



And the scene between them in the hospital was wonderful.



Thanks so much for this story



And Juli, what the frilly heck are Coup shoes?

I'll be quiet now

[darkmagicwillow]

Chapter 10, "Shades," in a few minutes, but first some replies.



Tulipp: Ah, yes, it wouldn't do to be underdressed for the revolution so I'm saved for the nonce.



BoredNow99: Thanks for recovering from your badness to post feedback. (-; Willow and Tara are drawn to each other, but pulled in opposite directions by their instincts; Tara's are good though, she's a better person than me so I'll trust her to do the right thing.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[darkmagicwillow]

Darkness Warning: The second scene of this chapter shows Willow at her darkest. This may bother some readers. It's also the chapter that invites you to look at the other way of reading the story's title; with "Dark" as the noun and "Rose" as a verb.





Title: The Dark Rose - Chapter 10 (Shades)

Author: Dark Magic Willow

Email: darkmagickwillow@yahoo.com

Rating: R, mostly for violence, no explicit sex

Pairing: W/T

Spoilers: All episodes through the end of season 6 though this story takes

place 18-19 years after the end of season 6.

Feedback: Yes! Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Summary: Giles and Spirit visit Tara in the hospital.

Magic Note: Magic, even dark magic, is not addictive in my universe, so there

are no withdrawal symptoms and no dark magic dealers. Here Rack was a dark

magic teacher who used his students, not a dealer. However, you can use too

much magic and you can be corrupted by the power it gives you.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrights or anything else

associated with BtVS. All rights lie with the production company,

writers etc.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Amanda and Juli for beta reading. Special thanks to Amanda for her insight into the chapter title. Thanks to The National Trust for maintaining Bodiam Castle which showed me what a ruined moated castle should look like.





The Dark Rose

Chapter 10: Shades





Willow woke to the sound of a voice she hadn't heard in years. Her body tensed as she automatically turned to look towards the door. The sound of the voice was coming from outside the hospital room and getting closer as she listened.



It was Giles. His voice was raised in an argument with another voice which she didn't recognize. He was apparently arguing about visiting hours like she had last night. While she didn't appreciate the hospital's policies in general, right now she was thankful for the time it gave her.



Early morning light seeping through the shades created a chiaroscuro of her and Tara on the opposite wall. The soft outlines of their faint shadows faded gradually into the light around them. Their shadows revealed that they had remained in the same position that they had fallen asleep in last night with Tara still curled up on her lap.



She mourned the fact that she had to leave now as she tenderly pushed strands of gold away from Tara's face, still peaceful in her undisturbed sleep. Tara's body shifted under the blankets as she pressed even closer to Willow. Willow's body ached to wrap itself around Tara, remembering what to do in this situation more clearly than her mind did.



She had to leave. She wasn't ready for Giles to know about them yet, not after their acrimonious last meeting. She didn't want to fight with him here in front of Tara so it was time for her to leave. Now.



She ran her fingers through Tara's tousled blonde hair one more time. "Tara, it's time to wake up," she said softly.



Tara scrunched her eyes up resolutely and curled herself around Willow, refusing to be drawn away from the comfort and safety of her dreams. She murmured wordless sounds of possessive love as she snuggled closer.



"Come on, Tara," Willow said insistently, though the tender caress she gave Tara's cheek betrayed her own reluctance to get up. "I've got to go."



"Go?" Tara asked plaintively, her eyes displaying confusion and disappointment as they opened to the morning light.



Something about the disappointed look on Tara's face, the disarray of her hair, and her rumpled hospital gown struck Willow as comical. She couldn't stop herself from smiling. Seeing a hurt look beginning to form on Tara's face, she quickly wiped away the smile and patted Tara's hand. "I'm sorry," she said contritely. "It's just ... sometimes I forget that you're a person who wakes up with mussed hair and..."



"Is this an apology?" Tara asked suspiciously, her eyes beginning to narrow. "'Cause it's certainly lacking something-"



"You're beautiful," Willow blurted out. She had the satisfaction of seeing Tara's eyes widen in surprised happiness with the compliment. Tara was beautiful, but so was the Tara of her dreams. What she wasn't able to explain to her was that the mussed hair, the rumpled clothes, they all made it real. And real was so much better than a dream.



"I have to go," Willow said, sorry to break the spell of the moment, but Giles was almost at the door. "Giles should be here in a minute. You can hear him."



Tara took Willow's right hand in both of hers. "Please don't go," she said softly, her eyes pleading with Willow to stay.



Willow squeezed Tara's hands tightly for a moment. "I have to," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow."



Tara reluctantly let Willow pull her hand away. They disentangled themselves from each other and Willow softly padded over the window then opened it, letting the light of the morning sun flood the room. Willow gazed over her shoulder, watching how the sun's rays glinted off the gold of Tara's hair. "Tomorrow," she promised again. Then she pulled herself through the window and dropped silently to the ground below, hearing Tara's goodbye from above her as she fell.



Tara watched as Willow fell slowly as if she was as light as a feather. She marveled at how effortlessly the magic came to Willow. As she began to wonder if that was perhaps a bad thing, she was interrupted by a knock at the door. She cleared her throat then called out, "Come in."



Giles, wearing his usual white shirt and tie under a grey sweater vest, entered the room followed closely by Spirit, who was dressed more casually in jeans and a T-shirt bearing the semblance of a manga character that Tara couldn't recognize. Tara wasn't the expert on Japanese comics that Spirit was, but she had to admit that she had been impressed by some of the ones Spirit had shared with her over Christmas. She felt obscurely disappointed when they weren't followed by a smaller figure dressed all in black.



The vampire slayer was carrying a clear glass vase containing a colorful assortment of flowers with a large purple orchid in the center of the arrangement. Tara forced herself to smile at her friends, reminding herself that she was glad that her friends were visiting her in the hospital. A few months ago there probably wouldn't have been anyone to visit her. She shouldn't be unhappy with them because Willow had left. "Hi, guys."



"You look better this morning," Spirit said as she walked over to the table by Tara's bed and placed the vase of flowers on it. There had been something different about Tara recently, a hidden sense of almost giddy happiness, that she had never seen in her before. Perhaps it was because of Tara's friend that she had met last night. It was more pronounced this morning as if a shade of that presence remained in the room.



"How are you doing, Tara?" Giles asked. He looked good for someone she had last seen unconscious.



"I feel fine," Tara said. "But they wanted to keep me for observation overnight."



"Your doctor told me that you could get out this afternoon if everything tests okay," Giles responded. The doctor had been an annoying twit, telling him that visiting hours weren't starting for another hour. He had brooked no opposition, needing to see Tara for more than the obvious reason. If what he suspected about Tara's friend was true, they had an urgent problem to deal with.



Tara hoped her tests were fine. She didn't want to miss her coffee date with Willow tomorrow. "How are you doing, Mr. Giles?"



"He's fine," Spirit interjected. "He regained consciousness around midnight and wanted to come see you right away, but I told him your friend was taking care of you."



"Ah, yes," Giles said. "I was meaning to ask you about this since I was out at the time. How did you and your friend defeat the Master's ghost?" He felt apprehensive about who Tara's friend was and why she hadn't told him about her before now. Spirit's description of her red hair and dark eyes had been worrisome. There was only one person he knew who matched that description, but he never expected to see her again. Her presence could be a far greater threat than the Master. Perhaps she had even raised the Master herself.



"We cast a banishment spell," Tara answered briefly. She had to think of longer answers than that. She knew she couldn't leave Willow out of this particular story. The only question was how little could she say to satisfy Giles' curiosity. She didn't understand why she felt this way, but she had an urge to protect Willow from Giles.



"The spectre dissolved," Spirit added. "I had just used the last of the holy water so I was more than happy with the spell until I turned around to see Tara collapsed on the floor."



Giles was unhappy with the evasiveness of Tara's answer and how she wouldn't look directly at him. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate help in destroying the Master, but he knew how easy it was to fall prey to the temptations of dark magic and he didn't want to see Tara succumb to them. She had a goodness of heart that he hadn't seen in anyone since his first time in Sunnydale and he didn't want her to lose that. "I don't think you mentioned your friend's name," he said casually. "What is it?"



Tara thought it was safe enough to say her name now that Giles knew about their friendship. "Her name's Willow."



Giles froze. Even after Spirit's description, he still wasn't prepared to hear that name. The Master's shade had frightened him, but he had figured out how to deal with it. Willow's name struck him with a bone-deep chill. She was infinitely more dangerous than the Master, and things she had done were unspeakable.



They had once been so close, but now he couldn't fathom Willow's intentions. Unless. He looked closely at Tara, noting again how closely her features mirrored those of Willow's love of the past. Had she given up on resurrection? Or was it something nefarious--did she need a body for her resurrection spell and wanted one that was close as possible to the original?



Spirit gave Giles a look of concern. "Giles, are you okay?" she asked. "You look a little pale. Maybe you should sit down."



Tara was concerned too, but her worries centered around Willow. Giles had suddenly paled when Tara had said her name. Did Giles know her? Was that why Willow had left so quickly? If he did, what had happened between them to cause him to react this way? She looked into Giles' face as he was waving off Spirit's offers of assistance, trying to read his expression more clearly.



"No, no," Giles said hurriedly. "I'm quite fine," he continued coldly. "We must be leaving now. Both of us have to get back to school." Giles had to find out what Willow was up to with her visit to Sunnydale, to see whether it was just Tara or something worse. A witch of her power could easily open the Hellmouth.



Spirit started a sentence, "But..."



"No," Giles said shortly, cutting Spirit off. "I have to do some research, make sure the Master won't be coming back again, and so forth..."



"Okay," Spirit assented unwillingly.



"Should I drop by the library when I get out this afternoon?" Tara asked. She had never seen Giles so flustered. Something odd had happened between Giles and Willow and she didn't think that either of them would explain it if she asked.



"No, it's best to get your rest," Giles answered, turning back to face Tara. The coolness of his voice belied the message of care in his words. "You can come by tomorrow." He knew Tara had to be suspicious of his unusual behavior, but perhaps by tomorrow he would have some answers and could advise her about her friend.



Before she could react, Giles and Spirit had said their goodbyes and were out of the room. The room felt bewilderingly empty after being so full of her friends. She quickly glanced at the vase of flowers as if to reassure herself that they had just been here.



Even after everyone left, a shade of Willow's presence lingered in the room. Tara could feel the memory of the warmth of being held by Willow, but she could also recall the coldness that had entered Giles's voice when she said Willow's name.



As always, Willow presented her with a paradox. How could she bring out such warmth in herself and such coldness in Giles? What had happened between Willow and Giles that made them react so strongly to each other's presence?



* * * * * *



Giles sat at his desk with his head propped up on his fist, gazing sightlessly at the clutter of papers scattered across its surface. It was late in the night. His eyes were red from fatigue and his white shirt was wrinkled. His glasses lay on the untidy pile of papers that he had been looking at last. Several stacks of weighty leather-bound tomes had been pushed back towards the wall, their information about the Master of no interest to him now.



He still had no better idea of why Willow Rosenberg was in Sunnydale than he had when he started. He had questioned Spirit repeatedly about her encounter with the dark witch last night, but had learned nothing except that the Willow Tara knew was indeed Willow Rosenberg, though she hadn't seemed to have aged a day since she left Sunnydale. He had knowledge of dark magicks that could hold back the pressures of time and it didn't reassure him as to her intentions.



All the papers before him made references to a dark witch that no one could identify. Most were rumors, as there were very few direct sightings. She wore a black mask and never used her name, but she was already a legend after less than twenty years. One of those papers was a description of his own last meeting with Willow. He didn't know why he had written it. There was no longer anyone for him to report to. Habit, he supposed.



He thought back to his last meeting with Willow Rosenberg. It had been late December in the cold winter of 2005 at the castle where the Watcher's Council was based in England. It was his first trip back home since he had returned to Sunnydale to be Buffy Summers' watcher again after the disastrous events of 2002. The council had called him to talk with about the threat of a terrible dark witch, and he had suspected that they called him there because he knew the person they were worried about.

He was staying the night in a hotel in a small Sussex town near the headquarters of the Council of Watchers. The innkeeper had looked distrustfullyingly at him after hearing his Americanized accent, but had accepted him readily enough after seeing his Council credentials. First thing in the morning, he was going to meet with Quentin Travers and the board of directors.



In the late hours of the night he awoke to a thunderous cacophony of explosions and shattering masonry. It was followed by a terrible bellowing and screams of terror that echoed across the valley from the direction of the castle. He dressed as rapidly as he could and got in his car, heading for the sounds of conflict, though he wasn't sure what he could do as he hadn't been able to bring any of his weapons from California.



The winding road made the drive maddeningly long, but the little Smart that the council had rented for him wasn't the type of vehicle that he could take cross country. It also couldn't go very fast on the uphill segments. Giles cursed the council's frugality; it wouldn't have cost them much more to hire a decent car for him. You would think that the one Watcher in the world with an active vampire slayer would deserve some consideration.



As he rounded the last curve, he could finally see the castle that housed the Council of Watchers, or rather the ruins of it. The twin rectangular towers of the gatehouse had been cast into the broad, water-filled moat by some inconceivable force. The larger round towers on the northeast and northwest corners of the curtain wall had also been destroyed though charred stumps remained of each tower. The deep moat was filled with giant shards of masonry. They resembled icebergs with their sharp-pointed profiles above the surface of the water.



Giles drove over burnt fragments of stone that had been thrown from the towers' destruction as he drove towards the old fortress. The car park was fairly empty and many of the cars showed damage from falling stones, but he ignored it in favor of driving as close to the castle as the wreckage would allow. Upon encountering a huge chunk of masonry that he couldn't drive around, he parked the little car directly in front of it. He carelessly left the car in the middle of the road; it had taken him almost to his destination. The causeway that led across the moat was only a few meters away.



He got out of the car, taking his torch with him so he could find his way in the darkness, and began walking across the causeway. All the detritus in the broad moat had caused it to overflow onto the causeway, but fortunately the water was only a few inches deep where he had to walk. The causeway was the only way across the moat by foot and he felt very exposed as he climbed over bits and pieces of the wreckage towards the gatehouse. As he approached the other side of the moat, he began finding debris that didn't consist of simple chunks of wall. There were wooden fragments from doors and furniture, pieces of metal from the plumbing and fixtures, and all manner of things that people keep where they live.



Halfway across, he found the first body. It was one of the council's security guards, still holding a submachine gun in one lifeless hand. A trickle of blood had flowed from his mouth and dried there, but there was no other indication of the cause of death. Whatever it was, the man's black kevlar vest had done nothing to stop it. Giles gingerly stepped over the body and continued on his way.



As he approached the shattered ruin of the gatehouse, he found a multitude of corpses floating in the water intermingled with the debris. He wondered if he was doing the right thing. It didn't seem likely that anyone could have survived whatever cataclysm had struck the fortress. Whatever had caused the destruction might still be here, but it was quiescent now. He decided to continue to find if there were any survivors and to discover if the damage had extended to the archives buried beneath the castle.



At last he was across the moat. There were terrible gashes torn completely through the twenty-foot thick curtain walls to his right, while on his left a jagged arc of the machiolations was gone, as if something huge had bitten into the top of the forty foot high walls. A narrow valley whose sloping walls were formed of broken stones from the former towers of the gatehouse led into the courtyard. He walked as quietly as he could through the valley of rubble, not wanting to disturb whatever had wreaked such havoc.



He emerged into the courtyard, which was littered with corpses of council security guards and not a few researchers and watchers. Some lay crushed on the ground where they had fallen, while others had been burnt by a terrible fire. He tried not to look too closely, afraid that he would recognize someone that he knew. He could not help them now.



He continued walking to the central keep. The tall white stone tower dated from the Norman conquest. The square shape rose high above him, higher even than the curtain walls that surrounded it, and at its top were smaller square towers at each of its four corners. The ancient stones showed extensive weathering, but the building was still in good repair save for the shattered doors that opened silently into its interior.



He couldn't imagine what had caused such destruction. Even an army of vampires couldn't have destroyed the Council of Watchers in this manner. No demon he could think of could have done this either. The extent of the devastation left him mystified.



Shining the light of his torch through the remains of the double doors, Giles could see more bodies lying on the floor. Nothing more menacing than the remains of the recently deceased lurked in the shadows. Entering the building, he stepped carefully over the corpses and headed towards the office of the council leader which thankfully was on the ground floor. He knew he might have to survey the entire building eventually, but he had seen enough for now. He walked through the great entry hall of the castle. The multihued patterns of inlaid marble on its walls were shattered and burnt in places as if struck by lightning.



Turning left, he walked down a long corridor and reached the council leader's office. Blocking the entrance, he found the broken remains of the ancient oak desk that he remembered sitting in front of more than once. Pushing aside the heavy desk, he entered the room and saw Quentin Travers, leader of the Watcher's Council, sitting in his chair, a terrible mask of horror frozen on his lifeless face. A sickly yellowish-green slime dripped from one arm of his conservative dark blue jacket. While he had never liked the man and at times had hated him, he couldn't bear the eternally frozen stare of those eyes so he reached over and closed them.



There was nothing more for him above. If Quentin was dead, everyone else was dead too or gone. He had to go below to the library where the council's darkest and most valuable secrets and treasures were kept. That was where someone who had attacked the Council would go first.



Walking through the back corridors of the keep, he found the familiar staircase that led down the archives. There was no guard to check him this time. He walked cautiously down the narrow stone spiral staircase, pointing the light of his torch into the darkness ahead of him.



Reaching the bottom, Giles saw that the magical barrier that should have barred intruders from the library was gone. Whoever had done this was skilled indeed as any force strong enough to breach the barrier was also strong enough to destroy the library. This could only have been done with skill, not brute force. He passed an empty checkpoint and made his way into the grand hall of the library.



This had been his favorite place in the all the world. The stone ceiling arched several times his height above him and the walls were lined with row upon row of ancient texts. The long room was broken into segments by broad stone archways that reinforced the walls of the library.



Wheeled wooden ladders stood against several of the wall segments so that the higher texts could be accessed. Long reading tables lined with chairs ran down the center of the room. Reading lights were placed all along the tables and there were a variety of stands on which you could place a number of books to be read.



The long library extended far beyond him in the darkness, but in the third segment of the chamber from him a brilliant source of light floated in midair, illuminating a small dark figure reading an ancient text below it. The slender woman was dressed in black leather and was shrouded by a black cloak.



How could such a small figure have wreaked such devastation? As if in answer to his question, she moved and he saw her shadow flicker on the wall. It loomed over her like a giant of darkness, hinting at the dark might hidden within that diminutive frame.



As she began to turn towards him, putting the tome down with petite hands encased in black leather gloves, he saw that she was wearing a black mask. What terrible visage was hidden under there? He had never heard of a demon that could cause such destruction. Even Glory had lacked this kind of power.



Her turning seemed to go on and on as if unfolding ever greater depths of darkness hidden within her. Then she faced him squarely, regarding him coolly with eyes hidden behind that featureless mask.



"Giles," she greeted him in a familiar voice.



He stopped short. "Willow," he said unbelievingly as he recognized her. He stared at her, attempting to reconcile his image of Willow with the dark witch before him.



"I didn't expect to find you here," she said.



"Nor I, you." He had been worried about Willow when the Watcher's Council had summoned him here, but he had no idea that she was this powerful, this dark. He wasn't worried any longer. He was afraid. And angry. "How...why did you do it?" he demanded.



"I conjured a true demon, a creature bigger than the Mayor with tentacles," Willow said, taking no notice of his tone of voice. "It took care of the walls and most of the guards before they killed it. As for why, they sent a retrieval team for me like they did for Faith. I knew they'd send more so I made them an offer they shouldn't have refused."



"And what exactly did you offer the council?" he asked acerbically.



"They would give me the library and submit to a geas that would keep them from ever harming me again," Willow said, her masked face revealing nothing of her inner thoughts or feelings. "In return, I'd let them live."



Her voice was cold and implacable. Giles imagined that she had delivered her ultimatum to the Council in exactly the same way.



The sound of cracking stone came from the ceiling above him and he looked up to see a huge block of the ceiling plunging towards him. Suddenly it stopped and he looked over to Willow to see her hand outstretched, effortlessly holding up the block with the power of her mind. She gently set it down on the floor beside him without disturbing any of the books. She had saved him after killing so many others. He didn't know what to feel.



"You should leave, Giles," Willow warned in a dark voice. "It isn't safe here." He could feel that she was warning him about more than the unstable masonry overhead.



"Why are you doing this, Willow?" Giles asked, still almost unable to believe that the sweet young woman he had known in Sunnydale had become this monster.



"For Tara."



The words hung in the air like a dark promise. There was no warmth in them or in the unapologetic gaze with which she confronted him.



"She's gone and she wouldn't want this," he said harshly.



"I'll bring her back," she said, her cold voice echoing through the large chamber. "Go!" she commanded him.



Willow had gone too far to return to them and she was too much for him to challenge even if she was tired from the earlier battle. He turned and hastily left the castle, finding himself almost running as he came out of the library. He hoped to never to see Willow Rosenberg again. The next time he would have to stop her though he hadn't the faintest idea how.

Returning to the present, Giles looked down at his papers again and sighed.

He had done what he could to restore the good parts of the Watcher's Council, but his resources were so limited. He had managed to salvage most of the library with the help of other watchers who hadn't been present at the cataclysmic destruction of the Council and he had stayed with Buffy til the end. Most importantly, he had found the new slayer and brought her to Sunnydale where she was most needed. It had taken over a year to find her with their limited manpower.



He had to return to work as a librarian at the new Sunnydale high school to support himself. The great library was scattered in the private collections and hidden caches of the remaining watchers. Still, some good had come out of the destruction of the council. There were no more wet works teams, no convoluted bureaucracy, and no outmoded traditions like the slayer test that he had put Buffy through. Spirit would never have to face that now.



That wasn't enough for him to forgive Willow for destroying the Council and neither was her help in defeating the Master. He didn't know why she had helped them or even why she was in Sunnydale. For that matter, why had she bothered to work with Tara on the spell? She could have easily stopped the spectre on her own. He had too many questions and no answers at all. And he was beginning to feel too old to stay up researching til dawn with so little hope of finding an answer here.



Who was Willow Rosenberg now? That was the heart of the matter. He knew she wasn't the girl from high school any more, but how had 19 years of darkness stained her soul? That was the question that would keep him awake tonight.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 12/5/02 9:22:00 pm

[marcenik]

I am the worst poster ever, I always want to give feedback, but never seem to get to it..but, time to change my ways....I love this fic tremendously. I have to admit, I was wondering how you would deal with the age difference, I mean, I am not ageist by any means, but a 40 year old Willow to a 19 y/o Tara, but the magic not letting her age, brilliant. I always saw W/T as a balance between dark and light , as in RL relationships, two people can be very different and totally balance each other out. I love the way you are portraying our girls and I wait with baited breath for more, more , more.



PS...funnily enough, I feel ZERO remorse for the destruction of the CoW. Always despised them.

[SilverWingedNemesis]

GREAT!!



This update was just great!! I really hope that Giles doesn't do something to cause Willow and Tara. Although I think everything needs to be laid out in the open for them, so that WIllow has a chance to prove herself. For Tara, and for Giles



Anyway, I LOVE this fic!! Can't wait for the coffee date!!



~NICK~

[Grimlock72]

Not sure if I follow this: ' "Dark" as the adjective and "Rose" as a verb.' entirely, you mean like "dark rising" ??



This shows Willow at her darkest ?? Worked fine for me, after all the council didn't really try to talk with Willow now did they ? Noooo they send a hitsquad first, they likely would have send a second one as well. Can't say I feel sorry for their demise. Granted not ALL people in that castle (which is btw. a nicer location then the one in season7 ) were equally guilty but the CoW leadership but them at danger.



If the CoW had never send a hitsquad or wanted Willow dead and she had just shown up demanding access to their library... well that would make it a lot more evil. In my opinion anyway. As it is now it's more like pre-emptive self-defense.



I wonder if more watchers survived, surely not ALL of them happened to be in that castle? Why didn't they have mages for protection btw. they knew how to get past Willow wards so they probably had access to some high-level mages/witches. Arrogance probably killed them more then anything else.



I would like to know based on WHAT the CoW wanted Willow dead. Just because she was a potential threat or had she done something already? What triggered it, they don't send hitsquads after every witch after all. Can unspeakable acts be written (preferably in the next update) ? . Would be interesting to know if Giles agreed with their reasoning and how he would justify that to Tara or Spirit. (heh, yes...coming awfully close to Sidestep there ).



Just what is Giles expecting to find in his books anyway? He could just ASK Willow why she is back, way easier. He should realize Willow is not direct threat to him or Spirit by now, he would be dead otherwise. Willow is easy to find too, just stay close to Tara.



The only thing that worried me in this chapter is when Willow said she was doing it all for Tara. Bit too focussed there, besides Tara wouldn't agree with it. Tara was always a bit too nice for the world.



As for Giles thinking Willow saving them from that spectre was not enough for him and how he could have dealt with it; He couldn't, he managed to keep the spectre at bay with Holy water but that runs out eventually. He didn't have a plan after that.



Heartly agree-ing with Tara's thought: "She didn't understand why she felt this way, but she had an urge to protect Willow from Giles.". Me too, me too .



Tara seems to think neither Willow nor Giles will answer her questions. I don't see why Willow wouldn't explain her problem with Giles to Tara, not much to gain by not telling since she will find out eventually anyway. If Willow lets Giles tell his version he'll probably skip over the hitsquad-part. I'm being awfully distrusting aren't I ? : -->



Giles' final question is an interesting one. Giles might be to much CoW biased/ influenced to answer it though. He's to fixated on his own limited experiences with dark magic, seems to project those onto everything he sees. Worriesome behaviour, lets hope he doesn't slip into "Righteous Watcher Behaviour".



Hmm...bit longish reply, sorry 'bout that Felt the need to defend Willow's actions and rant a bit about the CoW being stupid



Edited to add:

Just realized that newTara doesn't know about oldTara at all. If Giles tells her the entire story about oldTara it will be quiet a shock. I'm undecided if it would be better for Willow to tell that story.



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 12/5/02 4:35:08 pm

[hermitstull]

Man oh man, what an update!



This is a true Dark Magic Willow, far better than the one we saw last season on the show. And what ends she will go to in the name of love, or what she believes is love. I wonder if ever there are times when Willow drops that shield and thinks about what she does and actually feels bad or scared about what she's become. At this point, after so many years, she can use her desire for Tara's return as both a crutch and an excuse.



But I supose finding the new Tara will shake her to her core in many ways. More than just what we've seen.



I'm curious. You've destroyed the council. The show has done the same thing this season. You spared Giles. So has the show. (I think). When did you come up with this concept? And if you worked it out a while ago, are you psychic? Cause I"m going to Vegas in a couple of weeks and I need to know what slots to play.





Lookin' foward to the next bit of update goodness-

hermitstull

"Stinky herbs are a go." Cordelia in Becoming pt. 2



"Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?" Spike, Barganing pt. 1



Xander: "What's with the hand move? Does that like mean something?"

Willow: "It's code. I think it breaks down to 'choo-choo'." Fool for Love

Edited by: hermitstull at: 12/5/02 9:00:08 pm

[Sister Bertrille]

My favorite kind of update, one that raises profound questions about characters’ motivations and intentions. I am not terribly sorry to see the Council of Watchers get its just desserts (by being dessert? or maybe amuse-gueules?!). What is chilling for me is not why Willow destroys them but how – vengeance (self-defense?) by proxy. I suppose that it is easier for me to understand red-hot, self-service revenge à la Warren. You know, the Watchers want to whack me so I’ll whack me some Watchers! Call me an old softy, but the way Willow calmly summoned the monster to TCB while she went all Dewey decimal makes me ever so slightly queasy.



And this Giles? Does he worship so strenuously at the Church of the Coincidental that he seems not to have wondered about “Tara II: Don’t Worry, We’ll Make More!?” More disturbingly, what does it say about him that having grown up in a family of Watchers, he chooses to follow that profession knowing that the Council routinely employs prigs, lunatics, and murderers and has a very limited ability to behave in anything but the most wanton and hubristic manner?



Explain yourself, Missy, and soon! Please?



SB

[darkmagicwillow]

Two replies slipped in when I was writing this so here's more replies to your feedback.



marcenik: Thanks for getting around to posting. I'm glad the fate of the CoW didn't scare you away.



Silver: Thanks, and now that the first secret of Willow's presence is out, the others will follow.



Grimmy: Did I mix the two titles that way? I'll go edit that. Long replies are great, btw.



It sounds like dark Willow isn't scaring people away, or if she is, they aren't replying. Willow had reasons for what she did, but what she did was dark.



The CoW did have mages, but no one of Willow's caliber, and Willow went in well prepared for their defences, having done her research. In this story, Willow is one of the best mages in the world. It might not be possible to employ someone of her caliber. There are other watchers and council employees in the world, but they lost their means of finding each other and many don't want to be found after what happened.



We will see more about the Council from Giles's viewpoint in the next few chapters. He's not really like the Giles of SC, having known Willow and Buffy, though there are some inadvertent similarities. I don't think he's any more ready to meet Willow than she is to meet him, but he is thinking of her much more as a big bad than as someone he can talk to. I like Giles, and you are being distrusting, but I won't say that you're wrong.



Willow has a lot to tell Tara about, and as you realized her past life is the most important of the secrets that she's withholdling. I think Willow should tell her soon, but I'm sympathetic to her not telling Tara yet. It's a hard thing to explain.



hermitstull: I'm glad you like my dark Willow. Does she scare herself? There are some glimpses of her past coming up that will answer your question. As for Tara shaking Willow to her core, she will, I promise. When two stars approach each other closely, the effects are dramatic.



I was surprised to see them destroy the CoW on TV after having written this over the summer and had it in mind since May. I think there are enough divergences though to prove that I'm not psychic or I'd be there with you. (-;



Sister Bertrille: Oh, Willow met Quentin and the board of directors personally. The monster was just to get her foot through the door so to speak. I think it was more of a cold act of self-defence, rather than hot vengeance.



You've got me laughing with your Tara II comment. I'll admit his failure to understand what the new Tara means is hard to accept. I've got two explanations: 1) no one in the western Buffyverse believes in reincarnation, 2) he really has been hit in the head too many times. (-;



It would be interesting to explore more of his past like Tulip does in Terra Firma to see why he became a Watcher. I think part of it must be growing up with Watching as a family tradition blinds you to its dark side.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 12/5/02 9:45:00 pm

[xita]

So your fic came highly recommended and I got a chance to read it all at once today. This is really an amazing story. It is so big and spans so much. There is so much to be dealt with, we haven't even begun to even get half way into the story. I am really drawn to Willow, who has been driven not to cause pain but to bring back Tara. She's lived a ton and it shows. You know the fact that it took her 19 years like that to find out where her soul went, suggests fate to me. Too much coincidence for it to happen at that age when Tara is of is ready for the love of her life.



At least Giles recognizes that there are mixed messages being sent cause I'd worry he'd want to destroy Willow right away. I really tried to feel like she had done evil things there, but I couldn't. The council deserves that and worse. I am sorry it's willow that did it but hey they went and tried to kill her. I have no sympathy. I am ready to forgive Willow if she can fight the light inside. I hope the Dark is not rising but that the tense stays in the past. Thanks so much... I look forward to so much more

-------------------------------

Buffy?

Let's change it, the Discovery channel has koala bears.

[deixs]

Great update!



I hope that Giles doesn't tell Tara about the old Tara and Willow. I think that's willow's part!



Giles should be able to see that Willow doesn't want to harm this Tara. She finally found her after all those years.

Maybe there is hope for Willow, maybe she can get rid of all this darkenss by Tara loving her for whom she is. PLEASE!!!



Stef

[VampNo12]

A fascinating update, DMW! After I finished reading this chapter I found myself coming back to these lines during the Willow/Tara interaction in the present, ("Tara was beautiful, but so was the Tara of her dreams. What she wasn't able to explain to her was that the mussed hair, the rumpled clothes, they all made it real. And real was so much better than a dream."), as well the line, ("For Tara.") during Giles recollection of his past encounter with Willow.



With this in mind, in the past Willow was obsessed, had a single-minded goal in resurrecting Tara, and nothing (being person or situation) was going to get in her way in accomplishing this task. Therefore, Willow welcomed her power/"darkness" as a "means to an end". And even when Willow actions could be labeled "evil" (ie in Giles eyes), one can see she was protecting herself against harm/death, as well as giving the CoW a way out with her "ultimatum". Now did Willow's self-defense border into revenge, I would say yes. Meaning, the utter devastation, killing of "innocents" (in the sense of the council members/others who died that weren't directly responsible for the order, and the team that carried out said order). Here the "hardened" Willow is just surviving, and will punish anyone who gets in her way of bringing Tara back (ie she is defined by being a "dark witch").



However, by Willow finding the "real" Tara, one can see a "light" within the "darkness". Here knowing she has a "tomorrow", Willow is realizing in order to have a relationship with Tara she has to truly live "venture into the light". She is still carrying a heavy burden with the pain of her past, as well as "darkness" defining her for the past 19 years (ie on instinct Willow wants to rely on dark magic when confronted by danger/uncertainty). Although, having Tara provides a settling influence, being shown a path that doesn't have to lead to "darkness". Now Willow has to find strength in what she has considered a weakness (ie herself, what she saw as "geek" Willow). Meaning, being a powerful, dark witch might of served a purpose in the past, but that type of power isn't going to fulfill her (ie not what her heart seeks to be "complete").



Lastly, it's obvious Giles believes Willow's motivations for being back isn't pure or good, especially when it comes to her relationship with this Tara. Therefore, I would assume Giles will take it upon himself to "protect" Tara, and I look forward to his methods in this regard (ie something tells me Willow would be wise to share the past/her secrets, before Giles "spills the beans" first). Can't wait for the next part!

[mollyig]

Willow's dilemma at hearing Giles' was very touching. Her reticence to leave Tara warring with not wanting to confront Giles.



Natural really that Giles would be suspicious about the spectre of the Master appearing just as Willow had returned to Sunnydale. His flashback was so chilling, the utter destruction he witnessed (which was described so very well); it's no wonder he is so fearful about Willow's presence now. However, I found it hopeful that at the end of the chapter he is questioning who she is now, rather than focusing on her deeds.



Another brilliant chapter. Thank you.

---

I happen to think mine is the level head,
and yours is the one things would roll off of.

[FlereImsaho]

Hi. Gotta echo what others have said, this work is fascinating. This chapter is particularly so, showing just how far down the dark path Willow has travelled. Not too many writers are willing to take Willow that far into the dark. Willow is certainly single minded in pursuit of her goal. I confess to enjoying seeing a Willow willing to use her power, although I don't like it when it has negative consequences for her. In her universe there are some really bad things that have to be dealt with, like the Council, the Master, not to mention your "normal vampires", so Willow uses the power she has, which is dark, to deal with those things. I do hope that Tara will have a calming influence, and hopefully take Willow to a happier place. It will be interesting to see if Willow and Giles can reconcile.



I like your work. Please continue!



-Brent

[Tulipp]

One of the things that I really love about this story's unfolding--and this speaks directly to the way the flashbacks give us a very dark Willow--is that we really have a story-within-a-story. Maybe there are more stories within, as well...there are implied stories about Spirit and NewTara, as someone called her, and Buffy....but really there are two main stories.



One is the story of Willow and Tara in the present....finding their way toward one another, dealing with hard things. And the other is the story of Willow's path to and through darkness.



Not to tease or foreshadow, and not to give anything away, but that story continues to develop as the present-tense story does, and the Willow is richly drawn and so, so compelling.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland