Spoiler Warning for Season 4 - "New Moon Rising"
Title- "Xita's New Moon Rising"
Rating- O for Oh Great Goddess...another New Moon Rising Fic....- NC-17(of course).
Copyright Disclaimer- All characters belong to Joss and ME.
Notes- I know...I know...it has been done before....it will probably be done again...over and over again. This is too good to let go. It is Xita's because I fooled with her and the other kittens during my last pass at this story, chalk it up to a little creative license. This is my penance and a very good writing exercise...I stayed truer to our imaginations this time... well maybe there is a little divergence...but it is closer perhaps to what might have happened depending on what Buffy school you are in.
For Xita....the queen of this country...I offer this piece to thank you for creating a space for me to put some of my creative energy. I am thankful every day....and want to share that with you.
I hope you like it.
Blue Athame.
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"Xita's New Moon Rising"
Tara felt Willow's fingers curl around hers, she was taking the candle from her, touching her as she lifted it away.
Tara stood in the darkness trembling in anticipation. 'What would happen next, what was coming?'
Willow moved slowly, deliberately bending to put the candle on the floor by their feet. When she rose she took Tara's hand, as she had so many times before, entwining their fingers, holding on tightly.
Tara swayed slightly warming to Willow's touch. Silence was everywhere, enfolding them, cradling them along with the darkness.
Willow stepped closer. Tara could sense Willow measuring out her words and actions, working out her next steps.
Tara waited. She held her breath as she had all that day and evening, freeing Willow to decide what she wanted. Tara already knew...she had always known.
"Tara?"
"Yes."
Willow squeezed Tara's hand gently. "I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I was just...well...I was just uncertain. I was so confused...and scared. I thought I didn't know what I wanted....when I did. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes....I do."
"Can you ever forgive me?"
"There is nothing to forgive Willow...I understand."
" I am going to make it up to you."
" It's okay Willow...really."
"No, its not....and yes I am...honest, I want you to know how I feel. I mean really know how I feel and not doubt it. I don't want you to doubt it...or me. I don't want you to worry because here is Willow who can't make up her mind...who is confused because Oz came back...who is scared because she loves a woman...and..."
"Willow, stop...shhhh....it is okay...it really is okay...I understand."
Willow stopped her babble and looked quietly at the shadowed outline of Tara's face. Her beauty was apparent even in the darkness of the room. It reached out to Willow and passed through her, the gentle kind presence, her essence. Willow felt safe in Tara's cocoon. She felt safe in her choice, in her love of this sweet woman.
Willow tentatively moved a little closer, barely touching her body to Tara's. With her lips a breath away, she stopped and hovered there, hesitating.
"I am going to kiss you now, okay?" she whispered.
"Okay." Tara answered, nodding her head almost imperceptibly. She held her breath as her heart began to pound. She never believed that this could ever happen, that this moment would ever come.
Willow squeezed Tara's hand and lifted her other to lay gently on Tara's cheek. Slowly she found Tara's mouth with her own and pressed into the softness.
Tara breathed into the kiss feeling the profound communication, the meaning without words, the gentleness and love. Tara lost her breath and began to feel a little dizzy. She thought she might lose her balance and moved her hands to rest on Willow's shoulders, pulling Willow in closer. Willow felt the movement and dropped her hand from Tara's cheek to her waist to steady her. Each was now swimming in the sensation of the others sweetness, the connection growing in power as the kiss continued. When Willow finally released them Tara could feel the lingering pressure on her mouth. She pulled her lips in tightly wanting to hold it there, she never wanted to let it end.
"That was nice." Willow whispered both arms around Tara now.
"Oh yes." Tara smiled moving her hands to skate across the back of Willow's shoulders.
"I think we need to do that again."
Willow leaned forward and caught Tara's mouth again, pressing harder this time. Tara responded by encircling Willow with her arms pulling her closer still. She felt her stomach flip and fall as Willow too tightened her hold, now owning her with her mouth. Tara felt a warm tingling begin, this was all she could ever want, her Willow in her arms, her heart filling with her.
Willow was surprised by the burgeoning passion now rippling up through her. She made a small noise against Tara's mouth as she parted her lips to seek out more of Tara's softness. She felt her love, deep and bottomless, and passion, true passion that was growing, unexpected in its power.
Tara too was surprised, she was completely unprepared for the arousal that was taking hold and expanding as she continued to feel Willow in her arms, on her lips, against her body.
As the two continued to cling together each registered the feel of the other. Willow parted her lips still more searching for Tara, wanting to draw her out, wanting to draw her in. She deepened the kiss and pressed forward with her tongue. Moving inside Tara's mouth Willow gently stroked, caressing the smooth terrain within.
"Ohhh" Tara quietly moaned her body beginning to purr.
She felt Willow's tongue reach out for her, she was opening for Willow, she was reaching back. She met Willow now and welcomed her in. She felt her body acquiesce, she was melting into Willow's love.
Willow's heart was aching, beating hard and driven forward by the intensity of their love. The prolonged kiss sunk into depths that no rope nor ladder could reach. Willow loved Tara. She wanted to show her, to be with her, to make love to her.
The room was still, silent. The two women hung together in the darkness on a thin wire of tension. Tara felt herself vibrating, her body now taut with desire and need. She held Willow tightly feeling the contours of the slender body in her arms. Tara was satisfied, finally home, finally in the place where she knew that she belonged.
They were in it now, the days and nights of Oz disappearing. The pain and uncertainty was all falling away. They were joining, meeting each other for the very first time. In the quiet beauty of their darkened place they were finally finding their way to each other.
Willow could not help herself. Her hands began to flow over Tara, her body moving into fluidity. She was seeking texture, she was seeking skin. With her hands at Tara's shoulders she slipped underneath the sweater resting there. Gently she guided it off floating it down Tara's arms letting it drift and pool on the floor as Tara opened herself to let it go. Skin...skin...Tara's arms and neck were exposed to her now.
Willow pulled at the tie of Tara's top exposing her sternum and collar. She breathed heavily into Tara's mouth as she touched her fingertips to the base of Tara's throat.
"Gorgeous...you feel gorgeous."
"Oh Willow....my goddess Willow." Tara's knees were weakening. Willow's lips had left Tara's mouth and were nuzzling in Tara's neck. Her hand was stroking its way around the skin of Tara's throat. Her other arm was tight around Tara pressing her in, holding her tightly.
"You're mine" Willow whispered into the sweet skin of Tara's neck, "and I love you" she added drawing herself back to look in Tara's eyes.
It was the first time Willow had said it that directly. It was powerful, poignant, honest. Tara felt her eyes filling with tears. How long she had waited for those words never expecting them to come. "I love you too Willow" she whispered looking deeply into the green, "I always have."
Tara gently released Willow and took a step backwards. She wobbled slightly as she tested her legs. Tara left Willow standing there as she moved slowly, purposefully toward the bed. Willow looked surprised and disappointed at the loss of their connection. She watched as Tara found the edge of the bed and sitting bent and began to silently unlace her boots. Tara peaked up occasionally to spy Willow still standing, watching her, waiting. When Tara finished with her laces she kicked off her boots and raised her head to look squarely at Willow. She held out her hands mutely, begging Willow to come to her. She was waiting, wanting, wanting Willow to come to her bed.
Initially fearful, Willow stood frozen, but as she watched Tara she soon realized her intent. Willow waited patiently, hoping for the signal that Tara was ready for her. Breathing the fire that was now burning in her lungs she saw Tara's hands and gaze, she knew it was time. Drawing off her shirt, she stripped to her camisole and stepped forward, her blood rushing. She reached to take Tara's outstretched hands. Tara was pulling her onto the bed, she was pulling Willow onto her body. Willow kicked off her sneakers as her knees hit the edge. She slinked her way up Tara's body feeling her tremble as she moved on her. Willow landed once again in Tara's wonderful neck, her body now on her loves fitting tightly, touching her everywhere.
"Yes." Tara breathed under the weight of Willow, "Yes."
Tara wrapped her arms around Willow and held her tightly. She luxuriated in the feel of her lover. Willow's lips were dancing on her neck, kissing her, sucking her, tasting her skin. A hand was moving across her stomach, rubbing the silky fabric in smooth circles against her skin. Tara's heart was pounding creating a beat to match her growing, crushing need. Her skin was hot and flushing. It was all so sensual, so sexual, she was excited. She moved so she could feel Willow press into her more, hungry to love and be loved. Years of want were growing here, she adored this woman, this Willow. Willow was the one, her only, she knew it the first moment she saw her. She knew it the first moment she saw her Willowness.
Willow groaned feeling Tara's thighs tighten around her. She ran her teeth down Tara's neck, she ran her tongue back up. She pressed her thigh harder into Tara's center while feeling her own excitement grow. The fabric of the shirt was enticing but the skin underneath was more so. Willow slid her way down and tugged it up, slipping her hand underneath. 'Ahhhh skin,' Willow groaned again. Tara arched her back to greet her.
They were dizzy, moving quickly, hurdling into the flight of their newly tapped passions. Tara always imagined that it would be slow, careful, tentative. She was in no way aware of or prepared for the intensity, the matchlight, the spark which would drive them both into such heat.
Willow was struggling, almost unable to contain herself. She followed her body, she followed her feelings, she was chasing Tara, running on instinct.
"Kiss me" Tara whispered stroking her way up under Willow's camisole. She found the skin of Willow's back and pressed down on her shoulder blades, pulling her in.
"Ohhh" Willow rasped into Tara's mouth. "Oh my god."
Tara kissed Willow fiercely, fighting to possess her. She ran her nails across Willow's skin. She loosed her other hand and cupped Willow's buttocks pressing her in tighter, closer. How long they had waited. How reserved they had been. It had been growing, quietly smoldering, waiting to be unleashed. Tara loved Willow the first moment she saw her, she had wanted her just as long but did not dare to dream.
The pace was becoming frenzied. Willow was now sucking on Tara's tongue. Her hand was reaching for Tara's breast, wanting to take hold, to ground herself somehow. The clothing was becoming an obstacle. They were getting tangled in their clothing and each other. Willow wanted them naked, she wanted to concentrate on every curve and nuance. She wanted to kiss Tara everywhere. She wanted to learn Tara and know her with her hands and mouth.
Tara shook as Willow touched her breast. Gently at first and then more assertively, Tara felt Willow take hold. Tara felt the fingers touch the skin above her bra, leaving fingerprints as Willow's palm drew out her nipple.
"Willow" Tara murmured desperate for breath.
Willow stopped and removed her hand. Pushing herself up she silently sat up and back on her knees straddling Tara's leg. She pulled off her camisole and reached for Tara pulling her up into a sitting position. Slowly she took the edges of Tara's shirt and pulled it up and off. She stopped to smile appreciating the moonlight glancing off of Tara's white skin.
"My god you are beautiful." she whispered.
Tara looked down blushing, her hair falling forward.
"You don't believe me do you?"
"It's you" Tara said looking up shyly "you make me beautiful."
"No sweetie, you are beautiful all on your own. Look at you here in the moonlight, I am but a moth to your flame."
Willow was stroking Tara's shoulder, sifting her hair between her fingers. She reached down behind Tara's back and undid Tara's bra, freeing her. Pulling it off over her shoulders Willow tossed it aside and sat savoring the sight.
Slowly now she reached for the button and zipper of her pants and opened them. She reached for Tara boldly doing the same. Then she pushed her back and moved so that she was kneeling between Tara's legs.
"I want to see you" she whispered, "I want to feel you against me."
Tara nodded silently biting her lip. She raised her hips allowing Willow to take the pants and underwear at her hips and slide them down. Willow froze eyeing the end result. She looked breathlessly on her love, naked and open before her, willing to give to her as she always had. Willow thought she might die right there from the sight.
Willow straightened and pulled off what was left of her clothing having to rock back and untangle it from her legs and feet. When she rose back up she saw Tara waiting, looking almost frightened, holding out her arms to her.
Willow moved forward laying her body onto Tara's. Skin to skin now they were finally together. Tara pulled Willow down tightly trembling at the contact. Holding her breath trying to slow her frantic heart.
"You okay Tar?" Willow murmured.
Tara sighed "It is just so much" she whispered "it is overwhelming...and I ...I have never felt this...I have never..I mean...never anyway...."
"Shhhh honey , I know...I feel the same."
"But...but Oz...you have loved Oz."
"No, no Oz, not like this...it has never been like this...I have never felt like this."
Willow kissed Tara gently now, slowing the urgency to love and comfort. She moved quietly on Tara whispering her desires with her body. She kissed Tara's face, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose. She purred into her throat, softening her lips and humming against the skin.
"I love you Tara...I love you...I love you."
Tara began to float again with Willow, drifting and softly stirring under their tender caresses. They were making love. Slowly, easily, they were opening to one another, the urgency was still there but tempered. Tara relaxed into the calm, centered by Willow's reassurance, she was no longer afraid of the passion.
Willow moved on her and against her, her hands and mouth were liquid motion. Tara was dissolving under the touch. Willow coasted, everywhere, anywhere, sliding delicately over the sweet smooth skin. Tasting, touching smelling, Willow took all of Tara in. Landing at the swell of Tara's breast, kissing gently, Willow continued her exploration. She cupped it in her hand and circled her tongue around the areola, letting the nipple rise into her mouth. Tara groaned deeply raising her body. Moving under Willow, moving against her, Tara now held Willow's head to her. Tara ran her other hand down Willow's back and arms, anywhere she could reach.
Willow was lost in Tara's breast, she thought she could live there forever. She savored the delicious smell and taste that was inexplicably Tara. She grew bolder encouraged by Tara's responses. She let her hand travel down, memorizing the hill of her belly, the bone of her hip, her thigh. Shyly she tested the softscape of Tara's pubic hair. Willow wanted to be there, she was determined to find her way within. She resolved herself to push ahead and taking a quiet breath landed her hand more decisively feeling Tara respond.
Moaning deeply, holding Willow tighter to her, Tara pushed up into Willow's hand. "Oh Willow" she moaned again.
Willow grasped Tara more tightly pushing more firmly into the down and wet. The skin was wet and wanting, enfolding her fingers. Willow began to gently caress her love, moving up to hold her, cradle her, gently purring in her ear.
"Tara, Tara, Tara, my dear Tara."
Tara started as Willow gently found her way inside her. Her need was growing...a fire rushing through her and beyond her, growing in intensity. A light started like a dying star radiating out spreading its way through her galaxy. Willow brushed her clitoris with her thumb and began to circle there as Tara too began to circle hovering over her encroaching orgasm. She rocked forward and upwards feeling Willow deeply. She was gasping for air and grasping at her love, she exploded, a quiet cry expelling from her throat, pieces of her star shattering and pulsating outward and downward like loose ash from a fireworks display.
"Tara, my Tara." Willow whispered to her love. "you are mine, I have you now, you are mine."
Tears were running down Tara's face but she was smiling...happy...filled with Willow's love. Freed of the darkened rooms and shadows of her heart. She was open and in the light.
Willow gently pulled herself out of Tara feeling the soft "ohh" as she did. She let her hand rise easily up brushing Tara's skin until she could hold her more firmly. Feeling the wetness on her cheek she drew back to look in her lover's eyes.
"You okay Tar...I...didn't hurt you did I?"
Tara was still smiling and shook her head. "No sweetie, just happy, that's all."
"Well, I could try again if I didn't get it right the first time." Willow grinned.
Tara giggled then adjusted her mouth to her best vixen smile. "Oh, you got it right...I am just not sure we have finished with the you making it up to me part."
Willow looked into the burning blue eyes as she felt Tara roll her onto her back. "Oh, I see...well I must pay proper penance then." She said trying to sound serious. She was partly serious, wanting to be whatever Tara needed. She knew she had been foolish to let her heart question even for a moment. She watched Tara caress her with her eyes. She was stunned by the beauty, the loving caresses, the magic that was Tara.
Tara let her fingers dance lightly over Willow's skin. She was learning her, all of her, using all her digits as if she were reading braille. She wanted to learn all of Willow's secrets. She wanted to give Willow what Willow had given her. Tara breathed in the sweet sweet smell of Willow's hair. She licked the edge of her ear and whispered the name that had enchanted her heart. "Willow."
Willow groaned and her eyes fluttered shut. She was drifting quietly under Tara's explorations, lulled into submission, she was hypnotized by Tara's appreciative touch, every kiss further stoking the heat and desire that was burning through her like wildfire.
Tara shyly circled Willow's breast with her index finger. She liked watching Willow's body and face respond as she touched her. She knew that Willow was already excited from their previous lovemaking. She wanted Willow to feel as she did. Tara lowered her face to Willow's and kissed her forehead. She moved across her brow with her lips and then down to her throat. Her hand was full on Willow's breast now and she felt herself succumbing to the Willowness. Loving Willow was like a drug, she was addicted, wanting more and more.
Willow felt Tara's mouth on hers, so gentle so easy. Tara kissed her lips, her cheek, her neck. She drew circles on Willow's tummy, 'ahh tummy rubs.' Willow felt the hand sink lower and pause just above the silky curls. Willow moaned to give encouragement and raised her hips to invite Tara in. Willow felt Tara smile against her neck as she grew bolder running her fingers through the fine hair, stroking her gently. Willow moaned again pleased with the progress. Tara kissed her neck and cupped her love slipping a finger gently inside the folds. "Oh Willow" she sighed finding her there.
Willow tightened her hold on Tara as Tara pressed forward gently stroking.
"Oh" Willow moaned into her lovers neck. It was easy, all so easy.
Tara gently found her way inside, gasping quietly as Willow tightened around her. Willow was moving now holding on tightly, breathing into Tara's hair, taking her in, setting her free, taking her in again.
Tara was gaining confidence, the confidence that comes with familiarity. She introduced her thumb and felt Willow shudder. She was moving more intently as they were finding their way through their love of one another.
Willow's orgasm was looming under the gentle caresses. Tara had become more forceful and Willow was answering. She was ready, about to fly. She shook and tightened around her love, feeling Tara course through her. Willow came and bathed herself in the sweetness of their connection.
Tara was holding Willow tightly, then she gently released her hold. Willow moved quietly against her, kissing her neck, her throat, her cheek in appreciation. There were no walls between them now, each had what they needed, each was where they wanted to be.
"I love you Willow" Tara whispered.
"I love you." Willow nuzzled.
Willow rolled back wanting to hold her lover. Tara moved to Willow's shoulder and rested her head feeling suddenly very tired. Willow smiled, finally she had someone to love, finally she had someone to love her.
Willow could see the morning light beginning to stream through Tara's window. It was the end of the wolf moon and the beginning of the new. It was the end of her old life and the beginning of her new, her life with Tara, their love, forever.
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I hope you all enjoyed it....Again...I would like to give thanks especially to Xita who allows us a place to tell these stories...this one was for you.
Athame.
Addendum....All right you purists....I know and agree that they probably made love the first time after Who Are You. Blame it on my muse....it just came out this way. I do not wrestle with her...she is stronger then I am...and when I don't listen...I write crap. My muse seems to like first kisses....oh well. Again with the plea of artistic license...I hope you all understand.
A.
Edited by: Blue Athame 1 at: 2/23/03 3:39:08 pm
So beautiful. This was so breath taking, Athame. WOW... 
at: 8/4/02 10:41:21 pm
I have read many takes on what happened after NMR and I have to say that this is the most beautiful one I have ever read. It is amazing the depth you went into describe the love they share for one another. *sigh* I hope you continue to write many more fics.
Thank you so much for sharing!! 