I agree, xita. That's why my 4 words are "shouldn't have killed Tara".
I recently re-watched "Two To Go/Grave" and was struck by two things:
First of all, they could have gotten the same effect [i:9758c93a1b] without[/i:9758c93a1b] killing Tara. For example, why couldn't they have had Tara hit by the stray bullet, but she's [i:9758c93a1b] only in critical condition, and not dead[/i:9758c93a1b]? This way, Willow hits the vengeance trail without knowing that Tara is still alive (let's say the paramedics who come for Buffy also discover that Tara has a faint pulse after Willow has left

). In this scenario, they could have had Xander be the hero and wheel the just newly-conscious Tara on a gurney out to "Kingman's Bluff" where [i:9758c93a1b] she[/i:9758c93a1b] (not Xander!) would lovingly bring her back to sanity (which would have been a nice mirror image of what Willow did for Tara in "The Gift"

).
Second, the fact is that even with Tara dead they didn't have the characters react logically. Why was it only Giles who brought up the fact that what Willow was doing was a betrayal of everything Tara stood for and everything Tara loved about Willow? Shouldn't they [i:9758c93a1b] all[/i:9758c93a1b] (i.e. Buffy, Dawn, Anya) have said something like this to her?
Furthermore, even if we take as a "given" the "Xander-as-hero" scenario that they insisted upon using, why did they just show Willow crying in Xander's arms? Logically, if we are to believe that Xander tapped into Willow's "repressed human emotions", shouldn't the first words out of her mouth have been something like "Tara, Tara, my darling, how am I going to live without you?" Likewise, if we are meant to perceive Xander as the "hero", shouldn't he have said something like "We all miss her. We all loved her. We'll all help you."
But, of course, heaven forfend that they should make too many references to the dead lesbian.
It seems to me that this would just have been good writing. As it is, they killed one character, and destroyed the other one.