********
TITLE: College Confidential
AUTHOR: Laragh
CHAPTER RATING: NC-17
DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.
SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to
Hacker Confidential and
Family Confidential - the college years!
SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.
FEEDBACK: Yes please
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Cheese warning, level 10; length warning, level 6
Chapter 18 ********
The hallway loomed in front of Willow, seeming longer and narrower than it ever had before.
Of all the stupid things you’ve done, this is the stupidest. Stupid, dumb, THOUGHTLESS!She moved at a snail’s pace, barely putting one foot in front of the other, as her eyes watched Tara’s door number get closer and closer.
She was taking her clothes off for you, SHE WAS TRUSTING YOU WITH SOMETHING HUGE and you RAN OUT ON HER. She paused for a moment, almost turning to run again, but made herself continue.
You should have been on her doorstep first thing this morning, begging her forgiveness…no, you shouldn’t have left in the first place! Woman up and get in there.She stopped outside Tara’s door but couldn’t bring herself to move any further.
Stupid Willow, has to go to class. That’s just great, run out on Tara, then make it seem like school is more important than her. How many times am I going to let my stupid panic make Tara feel like shit? How much longer is she going to put up with it?She closed her eyes and sent a quick prayer to any deity that might be listening that she wouldn’t come back out that door a single woman, then closed her hand over the knob with a slow exhale.
She actually smiled when it wouldn’t twist open, thinking Tara really listened to her about keeping it locked, then fetched her key from her pocked and put it in the slot, hoping it was still okay to let herself in.
She wasn’t sure what she expected to see when she entered the room, but it certainly wasn’t what she walked into.
Tara was lighting the last of numerous candles scattered around, her hair tied up in a bun and her face lightly bronzed with some make-up. The room was neatly tidied up with the curtains pulled so only the candlelight lit up the room and Willow recognised freshly-made-up white sheets on the bed.
“Hi,” she ventured, taking a tentative step forward as she closed the door again.
Tara held the flame of the lighter over the wick of the candle and smiled shyly over her shoulder.
“I wasn’t expecting you for another fifteen minutes.”
“My last class let out early…” Willow explained absently as she took in the soft glow of the room, then looked back to Tara, “Expecting me?”
Tara set the lighter down on her nightstand and turned to face Willow.
“Well, I hoped you’d come by when your classes ended. I know you hate having to catch up on notes. I got the long-last candles, just in case.”
“Extra flamey, huh?” Willow asked in a weak, joking tone, before audibly swallowing, “You seem decidedly…not mad.”
Tara crossed the few feet between them and brushed the back of her fingers against Willow’s cheek.
“I’m not mad.”
Willow leaned into Tara’s hand and gave a little nuzzle, but looked ashamed.
“You should be mad. You should be furious,” she replied with a panicked intake of breath before suddenly grabbing Tara’s hands, “I wasn’t rejecting you, I swear, god, I
swear, I wanted to, I wanted you so bad. Please don’t think I was rejecting you.”
“I know, I know, it’s okay,” Tara replied in a soothing tone, “At first… I was a little stung.”
Willow dropped her gaze, chastened, but looked back up when Tara gave her hands a squeeze.
“But then I thought about what you said…or what I could decipher anyway,” she continued with a tiny crooked smile, making Willow blush, “And I realised I completely sprung this on you. I was thinking about it for a few weeks and I thought we were on the same page with moving forward…we were touching a lot more, and kind of…grinding a little.”
Willow blushed brightly.
“You noticed that?”
Tara nodded coyly.
“Definitely,” she answered, feeling her own cheeks flush as well, before clearing her throat, “I-I didn’t talk to you. I should have. So if you can forgive that, I can forgive you getting panicked last night.”
Willow seemed caught for words for a moment before deciding she didn't need them and just threw her arms around Tara. Tara closed the embrace and rested her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder. They hugged silently and warmly for a loving minute or two until Tara pulled away an inch and slowly slid her hands up to Willow’s shoulders.
“You came back,” she said, her fingers gently massaging in towards Willow's neck, “Does that mean…?”
Willow’s eyes went wide and she could only bob her head for a moment before finally managing words.
“Is that okay?”
“Oh yes,” Tara breathed, finding herself moving onto her tip-toes with excitement.
Willow felt fingertips brush the nape of her neck and instantly felt her body heat soar in temperature.
How is it she can make two little words sound so sexy?She exhaled slowly as she met her girlfriend’s gaze.
“I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I'm gonna make it up to you. Starting right now.”
Tara’s breath quickened; there was nothing to make up for, but reality was setting in that this was really happening.
“Right now?”
Willow smiled coyly and nodded. She could almost see Tara twitching with excitement and unable to contain herself, she pressed her body up close to her girlfriend’s, kissing her squarely on the mouth.
Tara, feeling her knees tremble from the contact, took Willow’s hands and started to lead her towards the bed.
“Wait,” Willow said suddenly just as Tara sat on the edge, then went to the bathroom to get a face-wipe and sat down shyly beside her, “Not that I don’t appreciate you doing all of this…”
She started to gently wipe the make-up from around Tara’s eyes and face, cupping her cheek as she did so.
“I want to see you. Just you,” she continued, reaching up to release Tara’s bun so her hair hung loosely around her shoulders and smiled, “There’s my girl.”
Tara felt a lump rise in her throat and had to take several moments of swallowing to get it under control. Willow mistook the silence, her eyes creasing in worry almost immediately.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” she said, shaking her head self-deprecatingly, “I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be all control-o gal, I just–”
Tara was still too choked to rush to reassurance but she was able to take Willow’s hands, holding them in her lap and squeezing her palms. Willow took a soft inhalation and looked down at their hands a moment before smiling back up at Tara.
“You just get it, don’t you?”
Tara’s lips quirked up on one side and she nodded, making Willow’s eyes shine with love.
“I-I love you, Tara. I love you so much.”
Tara lifted Willow’s hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckles.
“I love you too.”
Willow felt a deep warmth fill her body; love for the woman sitting in front of her, and attraction at a level she’d never allowed herself to feel before. Her mind flashed to the time before she’d turned into the jittering mess that had run from the room, when everything had been new and wonderful and–
Boobtastic.She glanced down for a moment, then quickly looked up again so as not to raise suspicion and breathed a sigh of relief when Tara was just smiling back at her. Keeping Tara’s hand in hers, she pushed herself fully onto the bed and lay down on her side, head on the pillow.
Tara copied, shuffling towards Willow so their hips and noses were bumping against each other.
Willow put her hand on Tara’s arm, gently moving up and down until she felt the hairs there stick up. Her gaze flicked upwards to meet Tara’s as her hand slipped past her girlfriend’s wrist and intertwined their fingers together.
“Are you scared?”
Tara shook her head.
“I trust you.”
It was Willow’s turn to swallow a rising lump in her throat. She blinked a few times, taking in again just how beautiful Tara looked, just how much she loved her.
How can I show her? Just how much…she’s everything. How do I show her?“I don’t know what to do,” she said shyly, though keeping Tara’s gaze.
“What do you want to do?” Tara asked softly, giving Willow the tiniest of nose nuzzles.
Willow’s eyes automatically glanced down to Tara’s full lips.
“Kiss you.”
Tara closed the tiny gap between them, kissing the corner of Willow’s mouth, then pressed her lips softly against her girlfriend’s. Willow savoured the softness and marvelled at how the kiss somehow felt so new.
She gently moved her lips against Tara’s; enjoying each caress, each touch of plumpness against her own until she felt a familiar tongue slide into her mouth and any sense of thought flew out of her mind.
She had no idea how long they stayed with their lips locked, or when Tara’s hands had moved to drag her fingertips along the small of her back, but if the curtains hadn’t been drawn, she would have seen the sun was already beginning to set.
Air didn’t seem a good enough reason to pull away; however, when Tara traced a circle right at the base of Willow’s spine, the resulting shudder made them break apart for a moment.
Willow had never understood ‘kiss swollen’ before, but looking at how plumped and red Tara’s lips had become, she was beginning to understand the phrasing. She brought her thumb up to trace them, thinking how soft they felt no matter what part of her was touching them, then blushed as those thoughts took a turn for the naughty.
Tara gave her girlfriend’s thumb a gentle kiss as it passed over lips and felt her chest start to heave as Willow looked down at her with heavy-lidded eyes. If she’d been asked before to identify a look of arousal, she would have struggled to give an answer, but as she watched Willow’s pupils dilate and cheeks flush, she knew what she was seeing.
She reached down and started fumbling with the buttons on her shirt, feeling herself almost aching for Willow to touch her, an odd sensation for her, but one she very much wanted to explore nonetheless.
“Wait,” Willow suddenly piped up, catching Tara’s wrist to stop her, “You were so brave last night. I know how shy you are about your body, I don’t get why, ‘cause you’re so beautiful, but I know you are. And you trusted me and I want to trust you, I do trust you, and–”
She cut herself on before she went into full babble mode and left Tara’s arm back down by her side. She then sat back on her heels and with a shaky breath of nerves and anticipation, brought her own arms over her head.
Tara sat up and shuffled herself towards Willow. She put her hands under Willow’s shoulders and slid them slowly down until she was clutching the hem of her t-shirt. She pressed her lips against Willow’s sweetly for a moment before lifting the garment over her girlfriend’s head.
“I-I haven’t got your, um, fullness,” Willow said, seeing her t-shirt fall to the ground out of the corner of her eye, “I know you’ve touched them, but not without my top on. And I’ve kinda sorta been wearing a padded bra.”
“For me?” Tara questioned, and got an embarrassed nod in return, “You don’t have to do that for me. I want you just as you are.”
Willow smiled softly and watched as Tara’s eyes slowly fell from her face to her chest, then realised after another minute she was still holding her arms up. Embarrassed again, she let them fall back down, though Tara didn’t seem to notice as she trailed a finger along Willow’s collarbone and dipped between her cleavage.
“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered, letting her finger follow the line of Willow’s bra.
Willow blushed as she felt her nipples harden, then remembered Tara having the same reaction the night before, and nights previous, when the outerwear had been thin enough for her to feel it.
She let her hands rest on Tara’s hips, fingertips brushing against the small patch of skin between where her shirt and pants met, until they were inching towards the bottom button.
“Tara, can I?” she asked quietly.
Tara glanced down and saw where Willow’s hands were, then looked up to her with a blush and shy smile. She nodded and waited patiently while Willow fumbled her way up, then helped with the shrugging off when the top button was finally released.
Willow’s eyes roamed over her girlfriend’s smooth skin and she started to feel that same overwhelming feeling she had the night before – but there was no way she was about to run out this time.
“Can we kiss again?” she asked, tearing her gaze up to Tara’s eyes.
Tara understood the implication of slowness and nodded with a reassuring smile. They lay back down; though with Willow on her back this time, Tara on her side and half on top of her.
Willow took a sharp intake of breath as she felt Tara’s breasts push against hers and didn’t waste a second on claiming those lips again, forgoing the gentle exploration of earlier in place of hungry kisses.
Tara tried to keep up with Willow’s eager mouth, though her hand remained slow in its discovery of her girlfriend’s chest; feeling the way her collarbone jutted out and palming the softness of her breasts through her bra.
It wasn’t long before she felt Willow’s hands roam down to feel the same area on her, and struggled even more to keep up with their kiss as soft gasps rose from her throat.
Willow slowed the kiss when she felt Tara not as eager to respond, then broke away completely when she heard a quite audible inhale.
“Am I hurting you?”
Tara blushed and shook her head.
“It feels really nice,” she answered bashfully.
Willow blushed too and nodded.
“Me too. Really nice. Really, really nice.”
She took Tara’s lips again, a little slower this time, and let her hands spend some time appreciating the smooth contours of Tara’s back. She felt herself shiver as her hand followed the defined curve along her side, then fell to caress the small of her back.
“Tara, you’re so soft,” she murmured against her girlfriend’s lips, not willing to break contact with her.
“So are you,” Tara whispered back, just as her hand slid up to Willow’s shoulder and pushed her bra strap off.
Willow glanced down at her fallen strap, then back up to Tara and smiled at the questioning eyes staring back at her. She brought her own hand up to the hooks of Tara’s bra as she turned her head in to kiss her girlfriend's neck.
She could agree, that given that it was her first time attempting to take a bra off from that angle, and given she was also distracted by the wonder that was Tara’s skin, that it was understandable she may have had a little trouble with the task at hand, but she started to get flustered when the clasps just refused to let go.
Just has to have three hooks…take them one at a time…there’s one…there’s two…there’s…Did I just re-hook two?!Tara had been completely side-tracked from her own attempts at bra-removal as she’d enjoyed the attention to the tender skin around her neck, until Willow had stopped to focus. She waited patiently, though with her heart pounding, to be disrobed, then felt how the hands on her back had started to claw slightly.
Sensing the predicament, and trying to be helpful, she sat up and turned her back to Willow, gathering her hair over her shoulder so her girlfriend had unrestricted access.
Willow blushed a bright red that she’d been ‘caught’ with her ineptitude.
“Thanks,” she said with an embarrassed clearing of her throat, putting her hands either side of the hooks and releasing them easily.
Her embarrassment was quickly forgotten as Tara turned back around and she received an unobstructed view of her girlfriend’s full breasts, her nipples already standing at attention, just as perfectly pink and round as Willow remembered.
“Tara…” she whispered in awe, lifting her hands to cup them both firmly.
Tara felt a surge shoot from where Willow was touching her, straight between her legs. She gasped at the intensity and the accompanying hot flush she felt spread over her.
Willow heard, and felt a sense of pride of being able to elicit such a reaction. Her hands continued to gently mould themselves around Tara’s breasts, until she felt the other strap of her bra being pushed down. She met Tara’s eyes again and lowered her hands.
“Got distracted,” said with a soft and shy smile, “Go ahead.”
Tara exhaled a shaky breath and brought her hands to Willow’s shoulders, lingering there for a moment, before slipping down and snapping the bra open with on easy movement.
While Tara’s eyes wandered over her girlfriend’s naked chest, admiring all she saw; Willow gaped downwards at her fallen bra.
“You got mine off in one go!”
“I’ve been practicing,” Tara replied absently, her attention very much elsewhere.
“Practicing?” Willow asked, her voice raising an octave.
Tara dragged her gaze up and blushed as she realised what she’d revealed.
“Don’t tell anyone?” she asked, bashful, only for Willow to frown, confusing her, “Sweetie? Do you want to stop?”
Willow crossed her arms over her chest.
“I-I don’t know.”
Tara quickly offered her the sheet to cover up with.
“I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”
Willow tugged the sheet over her chest.
“Practicing?” she echoed, forlorn, before her brow creased with anger, “I’m not okay with that!”
Tara took a pillow and put it over her own chest, looking down, humiliated.
“D-don’t judge me.”
“Judge you?!” Willow spat, her eyes teaming with fury, “Sorry that I’m a little upset that my girlfriend’s been ‘practicing’ with a bunch of other girls! What else did you ‘practice’?”
Tara visibly did a double-take.
“What?” she asked in utter confusion, before realising what Willow thought, “Willow, no, that’s not…that’s not what I meant.”
Her cheeks turned as red as a tomato as Willow looked to her for an explanation.
“I’ve been putting my bras on my pillows and practicing from that angle,” she said, barely above a whisper.
Willow blinked a couple of times, then smiled for a moment at how adorable that was, before realising all at once the way she reacted.
“Oh, Tara...” she said, swallowing nervously for a moment, “That’s so sweet.”
She dropped the sheet back down and ducked her head to search for Tara’s eyes, which were still downcast.
“Big dummy here. I should’ve been doing that so I wasn’t a fumbling idiot.”
“I didn’t think that,” Tara replied quickly, still looking down and idly playing with her fingers.
Willow tentatively took her hands.
“Tara, I’m so sorry. I guess I had to have one freak-out, wouldn’t be me otherwise,” she joked in an attempt for levity, “Least I didn’t run away this time.”
Tara finally looked up and let the pillow fall back down. Willow scooted over so their chests pressed together, and after taking a moment to pull in some air that drained from her at the contact, lifted her hand to shakily and tenderly brush some hair from Tara’s face.
“Forgive me?” she asked, more breathy than intended.
Tara could only nod as she found herself suddenly filling with something quite new to her.
Passion.
She could feel Willow’s breasts against hers and felt a throbbing sensation between her legs when their nipples brushed off each other. Part of her was terrified, but a bigger part of her want to rip the rest of Willow’s clothes off and discover what exactly this ‘passion’ was all about.
The two sides seemed to compromise by taking Willow’s lips in a fiery kiss again while her fingertips slid up and down her girlfriend’s back.
Willow, too, felt the overwhelming desire and was all too happy to respond with her own caresses.
“I want to touch you everywhere,” she said as she rolled completely on top of Tara and kissed down her throat, “Do that moan again.”
Tara blinked as she tried to understand the request, but all she could feel were Willow’s lips.
“Huh?”
“That moan,” Willow repeated, kissing her way around to Tara’s ear, almost moaning herself at the thought, “The moan you did last night…when I did this…”
She closed her thumb and her forefinger over Tara’s nipple and gave it a squeeze, resulting in that same deep moan she’d heard the night before, but even louder.
“Yeah, that one!” she exclaimed in delight.
Tara had a nanosecond of embarrassment at the sound she produced, but it quickly got lost in the haze as Willow sat back, straddling her, and began to experiment with what other noises she could get out of her.
“Tara, you’re amazing,” she said as she slid her hands up her girlfriend’s torso to see how much of her breasts she could cup and how hard her nipples got, “You get so pointy.”
Tara’s already flushed cheeks grew a brighter red and she self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest. Willow looked up and instantly realised she’d embarrassed her girlfriend.
“It’s not a bad thing!” she rushed to reassure, thrusting her own chest out in indication, “Mine just like…round out a little…nothing special.”
Tara was distracted from her discomfiture as Willow’s breasts hung above her. Her arms fell away from her chest and one hand crept up, cupping a breast firmly. She brushed her thumb over the slightly stiffened peak and watched in a mixture of arousal and fascination as the skin around started to pucker.
Willow let out a moan of her own as Tara felt around her nipples; a moan that turned into a sharp gasp when an unexpected pair of lips kissed each.
“Okay,” she said with a squeak, truly understanding what the word ‘straining’ meant, “Maybe I get pointy too.”
Tara grew more confident as she heard her girlfriend moan again and understood why Willow had requested one from her before – it was an addicting sound. She crossed her wrists around Willow’s neck and continued to kiss around her breasts, enjoying the difference in texture between her soft flesh and harder nipples. She helped Willow to lie back down when she felt her get unsteady a few minutes later, and turned herself so she could trail her lips all over her girlfriend’s chest and collarbone.
The feel of Tara’s weight on her now-naked chest, breasts rubbing against her stomach and those wonderful, soft lips pressing into what felt like every inch of her made Willow feel like her skin was on fire. Her hands were blindly groping at Tara, taking handfuls wherever she landed. Her body wriggled as Tara’s hands joined the game around her breasts, until an adventurous tongue hit her nipple.
She yelped and jumped at the surprise jolt of pleasure that shot between her legs, resulting in an accidental headbutt and a sharp kick from her sneaker-covered foot to Tara’s shin.
Willow’s hands flew to her mouth as she looked on in shock for a moment before reaching out to touch Tara’s forehead, the point of collision.
“Tara, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. It felt so good and I spazzed and oh god, I’m so sorry.”
Tara cracked one eye open, anticipating some pain from the shaking her brain took, but luckily felt nothing.
“It’s okay, it didn’t hurt,” she reassured, giving her shin a quick rub, “I was just surprised.”
Willow rubbed her thumb over the slightly red mark on Tara’s forehead guiltily, but was happy that no bump appeared to be forming. She left a tender kiss on the spot, then looked down apologetically into Tara’s eyes.
“I didn’t think I’d need to say ‘forgive me?’ so often.”
“Nothing to forgive,” Tara replied, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind Willow’s ear, before smiling softly, “But maybe you should take your shoes off.”
Willow smiled too, then caught Tara’s hand gently, rubbing over her wrist affectionately for a moment. She met Tara’s gaze and slowly brought her girlfriend’s hand down her side and over the curve of her hip so it was resting on her jean-clad thigh.
“Maybe you could…take them off.”
Tara’s breath quickened as she understood that Willow meant more than just her shoes. Even so, she decided those were where she would start, and sat back, shuffling between Willow’s legs.
She took one of Willow’s feet in her lap and slipped the sneaker off her heel. The sock followed with a small tug.
Willow didn’t realise it was possible for such a simple act to be carried out with such tenderness but as Tara gave her sole a gentle massage, then moved to do the same routine on her other foot, she didn’t think she’d ever felt more loved.
She let out a soft sigh as Tara kneaded her foot, then giggled when her toes were kissed.
“I’m sorry,” Tara said, looking up but keeping her hands on Willow’s foot, “You have cute toes.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Willow replied with a smile, before giving her toes a curious wiggle, “I do?”
Tara nodded with a giggle, the sound sending a beat of joy to Willow’s heart.
“I love you, Tare-bear,” she said softly, looking up at her girlfriend adoringly.
Tara smiled at the new nickname and lay back down where she was before.
“I love you, too, Willow.”
Their fingers entwined over Willow’s stomach, just resting there softly for a moment as they smiled at each other, until Tara felt her hand being encouraged downwards again. She felt her fingertips hit against the cold metal of the button on Willow’s jeans and circled it just once before popping it open.
Willow felt a rush of excitement as Tara pulled her zipper down at what seemed like an agonisingly slow rate and was more than eager to help with lifting her hips and kicking her jeans off when they were free.
She wasn’t shy anymore. She wanted this; wanted Tara to see her, to touch her, love her.
Tara was both surprised and pleased by the quick removal of her girlfriend’s pants, and started a slow appreciation with her eyes from Willow’s ankles to her thighs. She could feel a warming sensation filling her, in one place in particular, and couldn’t resist curving her palm over Willow’s thigh.
She heard a hitch of breath from above and slid her hand up the smooth, delicate skin until she brushed again the fabric of her girlfriend’s panties and toyed with the side of the fabric.
She traced the corner of the pink boyshorts, and while she was very interested in what was underneath them, the logo on the front caught her attention for a moment.
“Did you wear these on purpose?” she asked with an amused smile, looking up to Willow for an answer.
Willow looked down in confusion and immediately reddened as she realised she should’ve taken more care in deciding what undergarments to wear, knowing that Tara would hopefully be taking them off.
“The first time you take off my panties and they have Hello Kitty on them,” she muttered, more to herself, bringing her hands up to cover her face, before considering what Tara had said, “Wait, what do you mean ‘on purpose’?”
It was Tara’s turn to go a scarlet colour and she quickly shook her head.
“Never mind.”
“No, tell me,” Willow insisted, curious as to why Hello Kitty panties would have been intentional.
Tara couldn’t quite meet Willow’s eye.
“I just thought you were being funny,” she explained weakly, clearing her throat and lowering her tone, “Hello
Kitty…hello…”
Willow looked between her panties and Tara in complete confusion for a moment before catching onto the train of thought.
“Tara!” she exclaimed, eyes wide in shock in shock at her ‘innocent’ girlfriend, then giggled, “You’re naughty.”
Tara covered her face with her hands but it did nothing to hide the crimson tinge her cheeks had adopted. Willow sat up and put her hands on Tara’s wrists, gently lifting them away.
“You’re cute when you blush,” she whispered, kissing those flushing cheeks, “And you’re sexy.”
Tara felt a rush of air leave her lungs at that – it was the first time she’d ever heard herself described in such a way.
“S-Sexy?”
“Very,” Willow replied in what could be described as an attempted seductive manner as she slid her hands down Tara’s sides to her waist, “We have a bit of a clothing disparity.”
Tara wasn’t sure what switch had been flicked in her girlfriend, but she could definitely feel herself responding to the low tone and confident glint in her eye. She could only nod, both in agreement to the statement and willingness to rectify it, and had to take great care to manage her breathing as her pants were loosened and dragged down her legs.
Her eyelids fluttered as Willow dropped some soft kisses against her shin and knees, but they flew right open again as they moved up her thighs and up, under her bellybutton. The ‘stirring’ sensations were getting more and more intense, especially when she felt fingertips dancing around her thighs and brushing underneath the lace of her panties.
“Y-you can take them off,” she said, a rush of confidence coming as a by-product from the rush of heat.
Willow’s hands stilled.
“Are you sure?”
Tara nodded quickly, before she lost her nerve. Her hips were lifted, ready for that last article of clothing to be removed, but Willow made no move to.
She slowly dropped back down to the bed, flushed with embarrassment.
“Do you not want to take them off?” she asked, though not accusingly.
Willow was stuck in place.
“I do. Just, whoa, you know?”
Tara nodded understandingly.
“We can slow down. Or stop–”
Willow’s head shot up, shaking from side to side.
“I don’t wanna stop.”
Tara flushed again, but happily this time.
“Okay. We won’t stop,” she replied, feeling encouraged by the look on Willow’s face, “Would you like me to take them off?”
Willow’s eyes went wide and she nodded.
“Uh huh, yeah.”
Tara turned a little brighter shade of red but brought her hands to her panties and started to tug them down.
“No, I thought you meant me!” Willow said quickly, stopping her, “I want you to take mine off!”
Tara’s hands slid away from her panties.
“Oh.”
Willow shuffled back a little and looked up into Tara’s eyes.
“Same time?”
Tara nodded.
“Okay.”
Willow helped her sit up and get on her knees, then they both reached across each other so they were holding the others' panties.
Tara felt Willow’s hands trembling by her thighs but knew hers were doing the same. She took some slow breaths to calm herself.
“Okay…one…tw–”
“Wait!” Willow suddenly interrupted loudly, causing Tara to nearly jump out of her skin, “Are we going on three or after three?”
Tara went back to her calming breaths before managing an answer.
“On three.”
Willow nodded vigorously and Tara gripped her panties again.
“One…two…thr–”
“Wait!” Willow shouted again, terrified she’d get something wrong, “Are we just pulling them down or taking them off?”
Tara had been less than a nanosecond away from ‘the yank’ during the latest outburst, so it took even more to stop her racing heart, but for Willow’s sake, she tried to appear as collected as possible.
“I think we’ll need to take them off.”
Willow nodded again.
“Right. Makes sense,” she replied, her concentrated intake of breath mirroring Tara’s, “So off…on three.”
Tara kept their gazes locked as she felt hands grip her underwear again.
“One…two…” she started, then paused a long moment in case Willow had another objection, “Three.”
They both tugged and pulled the panties from each other without breaking their eye-lock.
“We’re naked,” Willow said, somewhat unnecessarily.
Tara nodded.
“I know.”
Willow was trying her hardest to keep her head up before she had permission.
“Can I look?”
Tara was fighting the urge to cover herself up.
“Y-yes.”
She closed her eyes, nerves at least a contributing factor among others to the butterflies in her belly. She started to shake a little in fear when minutes seemed to tick by without Willow saying anything, but was put at ease just a moment later when she felt soft kisses trail along her shoulder blade.
“You’re so beautiful,” Willow whispered, the phrase almost becoming a mantra as she was awed and aroused from drinking Tara in.
Her hands started to massage Tara’s arms as she moved into her girlfriend's neck, before the temptation of lips became too much.
If Tara didn’t know how it was to be kissed passionately before, she definitely did then. It felt like Willow was trying to breathe through her and devour her at the same time; and as she felt their bodies press together from their close proximity, a spark of the desire shot through her that made her want to do the same.
Willow nipped and sucked on Tara’s bottom lip, completely overcome.
“Tara, can I touch you?” she whispered during the briefest of breaks between kissing her.
“Yes,” Tara replied without hesitating, the thought of Willow’s hands all over her releasing a flood between her legs.
Willow encouraged Tara to lie down again and turned on her side alongside her. She left her hand flat on Tara’s stomach and instantly felt the muscles jump underneath.
“You’re nervous?” she asked gently, bringing her hand up to brush some hair behind Tara’s ear.
Tara tried not to squirm as Willow’s hand floated back down to her belly.
“A little.”
“Me too,” Willow replied, brushing her fingers against the delicate curve of Tara’s hip, “Do you know how beautiful you are?”
Tara automatically ducked her head, but it gave her the opportunity to take her first real look at Willow. She slowly took in how creamy-white her skin looked and noted in appreciation that there were definitely some curves there normally hidden behind clothing. Her eyes raked down from Willow's pert breasts to the triangular patch of red hair - which caused even more ‘excitement’ to flow - then fell off by her shins.
“Do you?” she asked softly, reaching out but stopping short of contact, “Can I touch you too?”
“Yeah,” Willow breathed, feeling heat already coming from how close Tara’s hand was to her.
Tara brought her hand down on Willow’s calf and started rubbing there; feeling her way along defined muscle until she was at the back of her girlfriend's thighs and noticed some moisture.
Willow felt Tara’s fingers start to slide a little and blushed.
“You get me so excited.”
Tara’s eyes widened as she realised what she was touching. Her hand seemed to develop a mind of its own and moved around to Willow’s inner thigh to be closer to the source.
Willow’s heart started to pound but she didn’t waste a second in rolling onto her back and opening her legs a little, accommodatingly.
Tara stared down at her hand, but her gaze was quickly drawn an inch away to the apex of Willow’s thighs. A wave of intense heat washed over her, which caused her hand to tighten over Willow’s thigh and her thumb to brush over her girlfriend’s outer lips.
Willow gasped three times in quick succession, completely on fire from the small touch. She instantly craved more.
“Touch me, Tara. Please, please.”
Tara began to shake again; she wanted to do what Willow asked but was a little anxious. Willow felt the trembling fingers against her skin and quashed her desire for a moment.
“Don’t be scared, love,” she said as evenly as she could manage, “C’mere.”
Tara lay down beside her again, barely enough room for a lone hair between their heads. Willow nuzzled their noses together for a moment, then kissed her; soft but with an obvious sense of need.
As they kissed, she slid her hand over Tara’s and gently moved it up above her mound.
“Whenever you’re ready,” she whispered against Tara’s lips, “I want you.”
Willow’s tone was enough to turn Tara into an even bigger puddle, but she felt like she could well and truly melt when she looked at her girlfriend’s glazed eyes, a darker green than she’d ever seen before.
She pushed her hand a little further down so she was caressing the downy hairs, then continued until she felt her fingertips coated with warmth.
Willow didn’t know if she was flushing from embarrassment or desire, but knew her cheeks were red hot as she let Tara slowly discover her.
Her eyes fluttered closed again as Tara’s soft fingers stroked her lips. Her body filled with all kinds of new sensations, all of which seemed to be stockpiling in her lower abdomen and all of which she was greatly enjoying, until she felt a knock against the bump in her flesh.
The jolt that resulted was like a concentrated push of sensation right through her, the intensity of which made her yelp once again and squeeze her legs close, trapping Tara’s hand.
Tara’s instinct was to retreat, but Willow’s vice grip was making it difficult.
“Willow, I’m sorry,” she said, trying and failing to twist her hand away, “You n-need to open your legs, I’m sorry.”
Willow wanted to slap herself for letting yelping be her response to extreme pleasure once again, though at least, she thought to herself, hadn’t head-butted Tara this time. She loosened up her thighs but kept them firm enough in hope that Tara wouldn’t move.
“No, no sorry,” she said quickly, “I-I want you to do that again.”
Tara looked unsure and Willow continued to be embarrassed.
“I just wasn’t expecting…that kinda…intense, ” she tried to explain, “You like spicy food, right?”
Tara thought it was an odd time to be discussing dinner options but nodded.
“Y-yes.”
Willow gestured around, as if it all made sense.
“Well, you know when you get that first bite…and it almost blows your mouth off…but you want to go back for more?”
Tara nodded a couple of times as she thought over the analogy.
“So you want…more?”
“Uh huh,” Willow answered speedily, “I, um, I promise I’ll stop squealing.”
Tara couldn’t help but smile shyly.
“Maybe we should have a sign for a good squeal and a bad squeal.”
Willow offered a tiny grin.
“Okay, if it’s a bad squeal, I’ll yell ‘hippopotamus’.”
Tara’s eyebrow quirked.
“Hippopotamus?”
Willow shrugged.
“Well I’m not gonna call it out any other time!”
Tara smiled.
“Okay. Hippopotamus.”
Willow settled her head back on the pillow and let her legs open again.
“That spot you rubbed was nice. Really nice. Super, really, fantastic nice.”
Tara gingerly felt around Willow’s warm folds until she found that little bud again and just barely brushed over it.
Willow jolted again but stayed in place, letting out a long moan.
“Oh my god, that feels so good,” she said throatily, “Is that my…? I think that’s my…”
Tara had a fair idea what Willow was referring to, though she didn’t know anything beyond things she’d learned in books.
“Is this…?” she asked, stilling her hand, “I mean, how do you…?”
Willow had a brief thought about how they should both learn to finish their sentences, but focused when she realised what Tara was asking.
“Oh,” she replied, blushing, “I don’t… I mean, roommate etc.”
“Right,” Tara nodded, cheeks matching, “I never…I never really thought much about this stuff until I met you.”
Willow moved her hand to Tara’s shoulder and turned them over again.
“Let me show you what it feels like.”
She kissed Tara’s cheek softly, for reassurance, then trailed her lips down her jaw and collarbone.
Tara felt a knot of tension unravel itself each time Willow’s lips pressed into skin. Her breath hitched as Willow circled around her breasts and kissed her nipples, then the knots returned as she moved down around her stomach.
She felt her legs begin to shake as those lips got lower and lower, as embarrassed about it as Willow was about her yelping. She’d almost stopped breathing completely as Willow kissed right across her pubic bone, but was able to let out air again when Willow followed the path up her stomach to her chest again.
Willow was captivated by how soft Tara’s skin felt against her lips and hands and wanted nothing more than to just nuzzle into her like a kitten would do its owner. She was able to do just that as her lips turned into Tara’s neck, just as she let her hand rest on her girlfriend’s thigh.
Tara was finding it difficult to open her legs as obligingly as Willow had, a last screed of shyness plaguing her, but as that hand slowly crept its way inwards and finally brushed against her, they fell open with a soft gasp.
She felt another comforting kiss against her cheek and turned her head to meet Willow’s kind eyes.
“I’m shaking,” Willow said quietly, with a smile.
Tara could indeed feel Willow’s trembling fingers against her, which made her feel less self-conscious about her own shaking.
“Me too.”
“Say hippopotamus if you want me to stop,” Willow replied seriously, then rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly, “Or you could not be a total dork like me and just say stop.”
Tara smiled softly.
“Hey, I fell in love with that dork.”
Willow smiled again and rested her head beside Tara’s on the pillow.
“You’re the sweetest girl in the world. My girl,” she replied, before giving a silly grin, “Talkin’ ‘bout my girl…”
Tara giggled and Willow blushed but with a smile.
“I should leave the singing to you.”
“You sound sweet,” Tara replied, sharing her smile.
She brought her hand up to stroke Willow’s cheek tenderly and felt the stirrings below her stomach again as she became more aware of the hand on her thigh.
She wanted to verbalise what she was feeling to Willow but found a wall of shyness stopping her. She leaned up as close to Willow’s ear as she could get and whispered.
“I want you.”
Willow felt her heart race in response to that and shuffled ever closer to her, if that was even possible.
“I’m here.”
She managed to steady her hand as she moved up Tara’s thigh and felt some the arousal that had slipped out.
Her heart gave whole new meaning to the word ‘pound’ as she gravitated closer and closer until her fingers were sinking between Tara’s folds.
Tara’s neck tilted gently back into the pillow and her lips parted. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but the sensations running through her far exceeded it. Warmth spread right down to her toes, which started to curl, as a quiet moan vibrated past her lips.
Her eyes had closed, but they wouldn’t stay that way for long; flying open when Willow hit against her clit. She managed not to yelp, but did feel as if all the air had rushed from her lungs.
“I-I get what you meant. The…spicy.”
Willow brushed her fingers over the bump again while offering Tara a kiss. A shudder went up her spine as she felt Tara try to pull air from her and she started to move her wrist up and down steadily.
She accidentally slipped off more than once, but Tara didn’t seem to mind; her eyes just growing glassier and heavier with pleasure. During one of her ‘slips’, her fingers brushed over Tara’s entrance, which produced a low gasp.
She toyed there for a moment, dipping just a centimetre in, then slowly pushed into her first knuckle.
She could feel Tara shaking again, but her girlfriend's eyes were full of trust.
Her finger slowly turned, taking in the velvety-softness in wonderment, then pushed up slowly again until she was fully inside.
“Willow,” Tara whimpered, overwhelmed for a moment.
Willow tensed.
“Did I hurt you?”
Tara could only shake her head, but it was enough for Willow to relax and give her a reassuring smile.
“It’s okay, I’m here. And I love you.”
Willow couldn’t help but blush as she felt Tara literally ease around her.
“It feels amazing…holding you like this.”
Tara felt like she was nestled in a cocoon only big enough for them; that their surroundings had just melted away. She reached up with a limp hand to cup Willow’s cheek.
“I-I feel like I was missing you and now I’m whole.”
Willow’s breath caught and it took her a few seconds before she managed to speak again, shakily.
“Make me whole, Tara, make me whole too.”
Tara let her hand fall down to Willow’s shoulder and continued down her arm.
“Sorry,” she said with an embarrassed flush as she found herself unable to reach far enough over Willow’s arm to get to her waist.
She attempted to go under instead but couldn’t twist her wrist the right way.
“I-I’ll move,” Willow offered, turned around so they were both on their backs, hips touching.
Tara was able to slide her hand down Willow’s stomach a lot easier then, and let her fingers slip into the wetness again.
Willow let out a low moan as Tara rubbed her bud, but when she turned her head, was very displeased with the foot of space between their faces.
“No, no, I feel like I’m on the other side of the room, I can’t kiss you.”
Tara stilled her hand but didn’t move away.
“I can turn on my side if you take your hand away.”
Willow didn’t seem to like that idea either, and looked between them for a moment.
“I have an idea,” she said, shifting over a little and smiling shyly, “Can I lie on top of you?”
Tara figured her cheeks must have lived in a permanently red state that evening, but managed to nod. She jerked softly when Willow removed herself, but was very happy to find a warm body crawling on top of her a moment later.
“Can’t get much closer than this,” Willow whispered as her thighs and breasts settled on top of Tara’s, stomachs touching each time they exhaled, “Am I too heavy?”
Tara was too busy closely examining her girlfriend’s features to answer, but Willow took the kiss that followed a moment later as her response.
She could feel Tara’s passion bubbling into her as she was hungrily kissed and hands followed her spine over the curve of her buttocks.
Her hands were doing their own exploring along Tara’s curves, finding every nuance she had.
“Tara,” she breathed, her hand curling over her girlfriend’s hip, “Give me your hand.”
Tara held her hand up by their heads and Willow interlocked their fingers.
“Are you ready?”
Tara nodded, eyes tinged with excitement. Willow brought their hands down to their hips and lifted herself up to give a space for them. She shuffled a little as she got resettled but was able to get comfortable again with their hands still clasped together right between them.
“I’ll have to let go,” she said quietly, nose close enough to touch, “But I’m right here.”
Tara smiled at all the reassurances and kissed Willow’s cheek. Willow smiled back and released Tara’s hand, stroking her thigh again. She felt Tara do the same to her, then continue inwards.
Her eyelids fluttered but she managed to keep them open as Tara stroked through her folds and teased her opening.
She tensed too when Tara started to push inside but one look into the familiar eyes staring back at her made her relax.
“Wow,” she whispered, her tone that of giddy awe, “You were right…I feel so…complete.”
Tara was right back in their ‘cocoon’; eyes closed and just
feeling everything, so much so that she didn’t notice Willow’s hand move back in a specific direction until a sharp gasp rose from her throat at the shock of being filled again.
“Wait…no…” Willow spoke again, sighing softly, “Now I do.”
Tara’s back and hips arched, just a little, but enough for Willow to feel a moan-worthy push of body heat against her.
She dropped her lips to find Tara’s skin, connecting with the creamy expanse between her breasts and kissing up into her neck.
Tara’s eyes drooped heavily until a tongue poked out over her pulse point; then the gasps came again, slow, shallow and repetitive as Willow pushed the fingers inside right into her, and out again.
She turned her chin down until her lips brushed against Willow’s and took them deeply, inhaling from her with each breath.
Willow tried the movement again, feeling a fresh rush of excitement at the clench she received in response. She was about to repeat, very much liking the results she was getting, but had to pause when she felt a delicate move inside her.
Her eyes shut tight as Tara copied the slow delve in and out and she dropped her forehead against her girlfriend’s shoulder, her hips the only part of her body that was moving; gently rocking up and down.
Tara thought nothing could feel better than Willow’s body weight on top of her as she explored the wonderful pillowed softness of her walls, but when those fingers began moving inside her again, the pleasure of touching and being touched rocketed through her.
“Willow…” she breathed, her body overwhelmed with an almost suffocating heat.
Willow slowly nuzzled her way up to Tara’s cheek.
“Baby, you okay?”
Tara’s back arched again and her other hand flew to Willow’s shoulder, needing to steady herself.
“I-I didn’t know…W-Wow…”
“Yeah,” Willow blew out shakily, taking long, slow inhalations, “Wow.”
She lazily kissed along her girlfriend’s jaw, but her main focus was keeping her wrist and hips pushing into Tara, taking and giving all she could.
She was able to keep the pace, though there were a few brief slips where she put too much or not enough gusto behind her and almost face-planted Tara’s chest.
“Sorry,” she whispered, embarrassment, when her shoulders knocked forward again.
“It’s okay,” Tara replied absently, eyes still closed.
She let her other palm slide down Willow’s spine to cup her buttock, intending to help with the balance issue; too overcome to be self-conscious about her movements.
Willow greatly appreciated that hand supporting her for a number of reasons; not least of which was just how much closer it brought their hips together, so close she could feel Tara’s heat radiating against her.
That sent a pulse through her, a pulse that bounced like skipping stones through her abdomen. The intensity caught her breath but she didn’t get a chance to take it in as Tara pulled her in again and the pulse repeated.
A few more seconds of that and she had started to go red and was beginning to think she was in the midst of an asthma attack.
Tara was oblivious to the panic that was starting to set on her girlfriend’s face until she heard the loud, racking breaths being taken above her. She blinked into focus but broke out with her own concern when she saw Willow’s face.
“Willow, what’s wrong?”
Willow was taking deep, flustered lungfuls of air and had completely stilled.
“Can’t…breathe…asthma…attack.”
Tara brought her hand up from Willow’s back and brushed the hair that had stuck to her brow from sweat.
“Sweetie, you don’t have asthma.”
Willow calmed a little at Tara’s touch, then turned an even brighter red as she realised she’d just freaked out at a very inopportune time, despite her lungs functioning completely normally.
“Right.”
“Just breathe, it’s okay,” Tara comforted, rubbing small circles on Willow’s back.
Willow shut her eyes tight and dropped her head.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“Willow, it’s okay,” Tara reassured, doing her best to ignore the ache between her legs, “Do you want to stop?”
Willow swallowed and lifted her head.
“Do you?”
Tara shook her head, unintentionally squeezing her inner muscles at the same time.
“No.”
A shudder ripped up Willow’s spine as she felt the clench around her and her body was responding again even if her mind was still embarrassed.
“Can we, um, kiss, you know…as well?”
Tara nodded.
“You don’t have to ask to kiss me.”
Willow awkwardly shuffled on top of Tara again until she was settled atop her, faces close together.
“It was, um, good, when you were holding me.”
Tara moved her hand back to the small of Willow’s back and let her fingertips curl over the curve of her buttocks.
Willow blushed despite herself.
“Hey,” she teased, obviously trying to relieve some nerves, “You’re supposed to be the shy one, stop being so calm and collected.”
Tara just lifted her head to press her lips into Willow’s.
“I love you.”
Willow’s shoulders physically dropped in relief of tension of that and she smiled softly.
“I love you too, Tara.”
She encouraged Tara’s neck back onto the pillow, then kissed each of her eyelids before moving back to her lips.
Tara let Willow decide when to let their bodies move again, but it didn’t take long for a wrist twist to send a spasm of pleasure through her. She pulled at Willow’s lips more deeply as they managed to settle back into the rhythm they had before, though they were gradually speeding up, in kissing as well.
Willow was doing much better at controlling her breathing through the pulses this time, but they were pummelling through her faster and faster, thumping together and causing her to take second-long gasps between brief kissing breaks.
Tara was starting to understand why Willow had thought she was having an asthma attack and had to break the kiss to focus on breathing after a bit, tilting her chin right back. Willow took the offering of Tara-neck that was presented, leaving sloppy kisses wherever her lips fell.
“Tara…” she gasped, overwhelmed and overcome as something big started to spark in her, “Oh my…Tara…”
She was sure her body was reaching a dangerously high temperature, but she really didn’t care. She was happy to burn in a Tara-inferno.
She felt herself starting to shake and suddenly became aware of every part of her body; every hair sticking up from her skin, every bead of sweat pouring from her, every beat of her heart thumping between her ears.
Tara too felt like she was on the cusp of something huge breaking inside her. She opened her eyes in search of Willow’s for some reassurance, but was distracted by the cascade of emotions she saw playing out on her girlfriend’s face.
“Tara,” Willow rasped again, not able to think anything but her, “Oh…oh…oh!”
A final surge exploded inside her, leaving her taut and breathless for a few perfect seconds, before she collapsed under her body weight right onto Tara.
Tara didn’t have a chance to react to the sudden weight dropped on top of her though, as Willow’s thigh landed between her legs and hit her clit hard enough to jolt an orgasm from her.
“Uhg!”
She stilled, completely stunned, eyes wide and focused on the ceiling.
It was almost a minute before she remembered to breathe and another before she noticed her thighs and toes twitching and felt the euphoric rush settle into a relaxed tranquillity.
“Willow?” she whispered, barely able to raise her voice, “Willow, are you okay?”
“Mmiorhnk.”
Tara couldn’t quite make out the mumble against her chest, which was still heaving.
“Yes?”
Willow nodded weakly into Tara’s neck, then gathered just enough energy to leave a tiny kiss under her ear.
The action set off a wave of emotion inside Tara, who started to cry with a quiet sniffle.
Willow lifted her head at the sound, her face flooding with concern when she saw the tears.
“Tara?”
Tara wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what…”
She trailed off and turned her head away as if to hide. Willow plucked a tissue from the box on the nightstand and gently turned Tara’s head back, tenderly dabbing the tears away.
“It’s okay, Tara, I understand. All of it, I feel all of it too,” she replied softly, pressing soft kisses under each of Tara’s eyes, “You’re amazing, do you know that? You’re so amazing.”
Tara let Willow see and wipe her tears. She’d never felt more loved, which didn’t help with drying up her tears, but she didn’t care. She’d let Willow see all of her.
“I love you, baby,” she whispered, full of emotion.
Willow’s lips quirked up slightly. Tara had never called her that. She liked it.
“I love you, too, Tara. With all of me.”
She brushed her fingers over Tara’s cheek, but made no effort to move away.
Her heart was still racing and her skin was still tingling, but she was still - never more content to hold and be held by Tara.
!
by Grimm » Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:26 pm 
Hi there, I'm finally delurking to tell you how much I love the confidential series. I haven't commented before because I was always a few chapters behind, but now I finally caught up!
) which they can hopefully work out together (technically we already know they will). 
).
Their first time and they already have a safe word. 
.
).
haha!