Things That Suck

[Finey_McFine]

Cancer sucks. Two weeks ago, a friend I've known since the 5th grade, had a seizure. No warning, no prior incidents, nothing. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests, it was determined that she had cancerous brain Tumors. A week later she underwent brain surgery, they cut her from ear to ear across the top of her head. Horrible, but she made it through and the tumors were successfully removed. Today, she received an official diagnosis; a death sentence - stage 4 Metastatic Lung Cancer. Life expectancy after diagnosis - 8 months. Like I said before, cancer sucks.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I've been worried about a story I'm writing, that I'm not doing a good job, and a friend of mine told me she's sure I'll do well, which is great except... I post writing pretty often and I don't think she's read any of it, even though about 1/3 of it is for a fandom and pairings she loves. And I know fanfic isn't really her thing, but she could read my stories and chooses not to, so her reassuring me about my writing feels really hollow. I know it's dumb to be bummed about it because she's trying to be nice, but it's like telling someone you're sure they can run really fast when you've never seen them run and they might go at a snail's pace; even if the intent is good, it's meaningless.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I love my roommate; she's a good friend and so far living with her is really fun. But sometimes she makes me go ???? Like tonight, she's got the dishwasher running when the only thing in it is silverware. There were 3 dirty dishes in the sink, all dishwasher-safe, that she didn't put in, and she started it while cooking dinner so there were obviously going to be dirty dishes as soon as we were done. Couldn't she have waited an hour? Or at least washed everything that was dirty?? It's just such a huge waste of water, but this is the first time she's done anything cleaning wise since she moved in 9 days ago so I don't want to criticize. (She had literally cleaned two dishes before this, then complained that she's bad at cleaning dishes by hand.) I just really don't get what she was thinking? I told her before she got dishwasher soap that I usually wash by hand because I never have enough dishes from just me to justify using a dishwasher, so she should know how I feel about the waste; maybe she's oblivious or maybe she just doesn't care that it bugs me, but either way I don't get why she couldn't at least put in the dishes that were already dirty before starting.

[EasierSaid]

Having an incredibly shitty day, so I decided to make cookies as a pick-me-up... and they are the worst looking cookies I've ever made. (Probably taste okay, but seriously, never messed cookies up before, ever.) Eff this day.

[SRMarx]

EasierSaid: Sorry you have had a bad day. Those can be really hard.

Living in an apartment can suck sometimes, especially when yout building mostly holds college students. The noise is unbelievable sometimes and I feel bad for complaining, but I do have a right to sleep at night. I guess I should be grateful that my landlord takes action, but still, putting up with excessive noise can really suck.

[gorn]

Tuesdays (Mondays are WAY worse than Suck)

[sweet satin lover]

my stepdad sucks.

[BeMyDeputy]

Gamergate.

[Finey_McFine]

Allergies.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Feeling like your best friend doesn't trust you. Feeling like your best friend's girlfriend doesn't like you. Knowing that both these feelings are probably paranoia (well not the trust so much) but not being able to stop the feelings.

Having a 'birthday party' where no one seems particularly happy to see you or interacts with you very much.

Having the name you introduce yourself as ignored, because your best friend refers to you by your full name despite knowing full well that she's one of the only people still allowed to calling you that. (Same goes for my roommate. How hard is it to refer to someone by the name they've gone by for *years*? My best friend even calls me by my nickname half the time, so why can't she just tell people that's my name??)

Wanting to be excited for a small family party but feeling too socially drained after a week of visiting people and a party with friends.

[Michiru]

When people are nice to you only when they need something from you. Any other time they treat you like crap. It's even worse when one of them is your own brother.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

It sucks to have a friend tell you you can always talk to them, but then not write back when you do; no matter how much you know it's not intentional and that they really don't mind hearing from you, it sucks. And it makes me hesitate to write, which is especially sucky with a friend that has become my favourite person to talk to lately about personal crap.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

You made the list. I don't like it when people make this particular list. It's never easy the people that end up there, but at the same time it's quite simple. You or me? I will always choose me therefore if you end up on this list; chances are you failed. I accept my failures and willing to put the time and effort to be a better person. I realize though that not many people are willing to do the same.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I just discovered that the girl I've had a crush on for most of a year has the same birthday as my ex. I don't know why, especially since we're just friends (and most likely will never be more), but it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I thought her birthday was soon and had thought of sending her a small gift, but now suddenly I feel weird about it. It doesn't help that they're from the same state, and some of the circumstances of my acquaintance with my crush have been similar to that with my ex. None of it's exactly sucky, but it leaves me feeling not great somehow.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

The Vampire Diaries. At first I liked it, but it's gotten stupid. Too over the top and annoying. l am only watching it now because it's one of those things that when you start you must finish...fuck!

[Laragh]

Airport delays.

[deirdreb1122]

Teaching the teenager to drive, now that she's gotten past the super-cautious stage. Confidence? Good. Feeling confident enough that she's getting careless? Bad. Feeling supremely confident enough to get cocky, and say things like "Driving is so easy! I thought it'd be hard, but it's one of the easiest things I've ever done! I'm so good at driving!" as she runs a stop sign and almost hits a parked car? Terrible! Every time she says "I totally rock at driving!" or some such nonsense, I want to make her get out of the car and walk the rest of the way home! Help me, MKF!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Someone I have a mild crush on made a post today implying they think they're too old to be attracted to an actress my age (8 years younger than them). It's not like I thought I had any actual chance with them or anything (plus I don't really want another long distance relationship, and I still have feelings for the friend I've liked for about a year), but it still has me pretty bummed. It makes me feel inadequate somehow, as well as deflating the halfhearted imaginings of them liking me back. Sigh.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

I was so close to doing something I had never been able to do, but failed. I wanted to burn 1,000 calories on the treadmill. I was looking forward to my photo op and recording this moment, but did I mention I failed? I was at 962 calories when I accidently pulled the cord that turns the treadmill on/off. I was soo upset you have no idea. Really????

[CrazyTaraWitch]

It's silly because I'm not even sure I want her to come, since my mum will be here and even though they're civil now it's always awkward/uncomfortable, but I'm really bummed that my stepmum has shown no interest in coming to my graduation. I want her to *want* to come. My dad tells me over and over that my Gram wishes she could come, but he's never said a word about my stepmum wishing she could (and really, since my dad is driving here and she's been unemployed for nearly a year, aside from their dog there's no reason she couldn't). Our relationship is stilted, but she's my family; she's one of my parents, at least to me. But it makes me feel like I'm not one of her kids to her that she has no desire to celebrate a big milestone in my life.

(Since when do I actually care about this? I don't even particularly want to go to graduation, I'm only really doing it for my family. But I guess I feel like my stepmum should be one of the people I'm doing it for, and instead it feels like she doesn't care.)

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I made a post about something I felt guilty about, and a friendly acquaintance made a comment that made me feel even worse. So now I not only feel guilty about what I originally felt guilty about, but also about not responding to her. *sigh* Maybe the proper response to 'I feel guilty about liking x more than y' isn't 'here's why x is crappy and y is way better'. People making comments that make you feel worse sucks.

[gorn]

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have been really run down and tired lately. I mean, dragging ass every day. Some people say the way the weather has been changing is affecting folks, and there might be something to that. No motivation, no energy, get pissed off easily. Even the things I usually enjoy doing I can't really be bothered to do anymore. Weird kind of funk, hope it passes soon.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

Seeing that my friend has become like most people now regarding their phone. I truly never want to be this way. Constantly on it like that and looking up stupid shit that people are prone to post. I can see every once in awhile, but everyday? It sucks! I can appreciate certain social things and the resources we have now. I just don't let it consume me. Where do we draw the line though? What happened to dialogue? What happened to manners? So many important things are getting lost. It's getting to a point where I want to live like a recluse.

[sweet satin lover]

Not being able to fall asleep with him by my side every night and having to settle with an hours yahoo chat before bed instead....not being able to make love any and every time we want, not being able to do regular things like lunch and movies. I wish he could just hurry the frilly heck up and get his butt back down to me. :(

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I had an amazing trip, but due to my own mess-up (I tried to check in with the wrong airline, which cost me an hour because Heathrow is *gigantic* and I had to go between terminals) I got a $200 rebooking fee on my way back and it seems to have drained most of my happiness over the wonderful time I had. I want to get over it, but 200 bucks is a lot of damn money and I'm really struggling not to focus on that. It sucks that right now I'm frustrated by my travels rather than feeling happy about the amazing two weeks I had. It sucks that I can't make my brain focus on the good stuff.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Anxiety coming out of nowhere to kick my ass.

I am so *tired* of how much my anxiety and depression impact my relationships. My anxiety has been a lot better since I got on meds a few months ago, but it still flairs up a lot with social interactions (including online) and I am so sick of it. I want to be better. I want to not have my brain telling me I did everything wrong, and that I'll only ever make things worse. I should probably try to get on different meds, but I no longer have a healthcare provider. I should probably go back to counseling too, but I don't think my new insurance covers therapy so I'm a bit screwed on that front... I just don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm used to insecurities, but not this level of anxiety that causes an internal freak out each time I see someone has replied to a message.

I just want to be healthy and functional.

[drlloyd11]

Hey gang,
Very stressful July. At the end of June I got an email from the senior VP that she had got fantastic praise from me for a project I spent almost my whole tenure on , but when I returned from vacation I
was told by manager how I don't fit in at the group and he was going to trash me in my review because of that..
It's like I am this magic fairy people want around to pull miracles out of thing air, but then want me gone as soon as the smoke clears.
Crappy month..

[Laragh]

Hey gang,
Very stressful July. At the end of June I got an email from the senior VP that she had got fantastic praise from me for a project I spent almost my whole tenure on , but when I returned from vacation I
was told by manager how I don't fit in at the group and he was going to trash me in my review because of that..
It's like I am this magic fairy people want around to pull miracles out of thing air, but then want me gone as soon as the smoke clears.
Crappy month..

I'm so sorry, that's really shitty :( Sending you and yours good vibes.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Really sick of feeling alone and lonely, and I don't know how to make it better. Most of the time it seems like nothing helps, and trying to interact with people often just makes it worse cause it falls short of what I want. I feel sad and empty and broken all the time. I've still only been actively suicidal the once, about two months ago, but most of the time lately it's been this sort of low-level passive suicidal ideation. I don't want my life and most of the time I feel like it won't get better. I have no intention of ending my life, especially now that I have a cat to take care of, but most of the time I'm so fucking apathetic about actually living it. I thought getting a kitty would help, but even though I love her she hasn't done much to make me feel less lonely. I'm still alone and it hurts. It feels like no one cares, even though logically I know there are a couple people who do. I'm such a fucking mess. I'm so tired of feeling empty and broken.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

It still really hurts every time I remember my Gram telling me how proud she was that I was 'turning my life around'. It makes me feel like she was disappointed in me for some of the things I'm most proud of. Working with kids is still the best thing that ever happened to be, and knowing that someone who's supposed to love and be proud of me thought I was throwing my life away for something that meant *everything* to me makes feel indescribably awful.