FIC: The Late Shift

[TinyJewishSanta]

Congratulations wiccachica - any chance your new job is with ME?

"Willow - that's a tree. You're a tree. Tell me, do they have any nachos here, little tree?" Band Candy

Edited by: TinyJewishSanta at: 4/16/02 3:21:09 pm

[wiccachica]

UniDagger…Thank you soo much for keeping those limbs crossed for me…(oh…you can uncross now…heh…



Tkheaven… LOL…I’m picturing a whole bunch of woncubines all crossed up!!! Very interesting…very Yoga…



Supermus…Bunnies? Spike? the answer comes below…. Well I’ll give you two hundred thousand points for trying! The job I have been trying to get for a year now is working with students at the University…finding them housing…(I love the look on a person’s face when they get an apt….PRICELESS)



Sass…Sass….you uhm…have yer…uh…shirt off again… How am I supposed to write??? Oh well…(picks up paintbrush and black ink jar and writes on Sass’s bare back…)



Pixie…The Pixie gang depicted in this story are from the west-end of town…a very rough and tumble lot…unlike you…sweet Pixie….no worries… I still adore you!



jdcioffi…Three paid weeks off for writing??? THAT would be a dream! (but I’m thinking you have other plans for my writing besides my serious stuff…right?



LeatherQueen…Just so you know my little scritchee…this part is for you…And thank you for the bubbly ( I do have some at home that I’m finally going to get to pop tonight!) Yipeee!



CK...I too got a little Scooby Doo flash when Buffy looked at the puddle...how funny...I was going to put in a Scooby barb...but I need to at least keep SOME of the suspence intact... heh ("jeepers....")



Thank you soooo much for the support…and to celebrate…here’s the newest bit for ya.



TinyJewishSanta...Well...where's yer job kiddo? Maybe it is!!! LOL...it's at UCLA...and I'm so stoked...I figure I've been to the Oscars...I've been to Sundance twice..I've been to the Hollywood Film Fest....and I have more letters after my name than the Hawaiian alphabet... I think I'm done with the business side of the film industry... and ready to get back into helping people...(hip hip horray!)



Chapter 148: Mr. A and Friends



The voices I hear sound filtered through a sieve filled with electrified gravel…buzzy…and tinny… undecipherable…



My head is throbbing…a dank smell is assaulting my senses and making me nauseous….and my mouth feels as though it’s been stuffed with dry cotton…but I keep my eyes closed…listening to the voices all around me…trying to gain my bearings.



"Oh this is SUCH a very BAD idea…." A male voice says.



" It’s a GREAT idea…and don’t look so worried…she’s fine…look…she’s just sleeping…I promise."



" I know she’s ALIVE…but when she wakes up…she is going to KILL us." He says.



" Uhm…HELLO….this is TARA MACLAY we’re talking about here….Killing us is something she won’t do…"



" I don’t know how you talked me into this…I barely know you." He says miserably.



"Danger…can you sit down over there before you hyperventilate?"



(Danger? Danger? What in the world is HE doing here???)



" Hyper-what?"



" Before you PASS out…play with your puppy or something…just RELAX…."



" Yeah…in a few hours she is going to wake up…we’ll get what we need for tomorrow night…and then she’ll be on her way home…easy as cheese…"



" Just how easy is cheese?" Danger asks from somewhere farther away.



" Don’t you DARE answer that, Pippa. I will not have you two discussing the easiness properties of cheese…"



" I wasn’t going to…"



" Yes you were…I saw your mouth opening…"



(There is a pregnant pause.)



" Okay… I was…but you have to admit…delving into the easiness properties of a Swiss…or a sharp cheddar…..VERY tempting…."



" Pippa’s right." Danger adds in.



" Both of you…please….shut up…I’m getting a migraine…and Pip…if I have to tell you to take those night goggles off one more time I’ll take them away and you’ll never see them again…"



" Fine." The one I am guessing is ‘Pippa’ says…I hear an elastic strap snap.



" Before I shut up…can I say one more thing?" Danger asks.



" Sure…what…?" The woman says.



" She smells pretty much AWAKE to me." He says.



I hear and FEEL the focus in the room shift to where I am laying, and open my eyes.



The familiar sight of the Alabaster Crypt greets me dimly. I sit up…slowly to keep my vision from reeling.



" Oh this is just WRONG…." I moan…looking at my captors…They smile back at me…



Two sopping-wet Willows and a dripping Danger….



TWO WILLOWS AND A DANGER!!!!



" Are you left over Willows from Laundry Day?" I ask blandly.



" No…we were helping her get your soul back… I’m glad it worked…." The Willow dressed in coveralls and wet braids says to me.



" I already had my soul when you tried to take it…" I say.



" Ooh…sssss…..oops…ouch. That must’ve hurt." That Willow says.



" I told Willow it was a bad Idea…." The Willow with a ponytail and a green button up blouse says.



" You CALL Willow… Willow, Willow?" I ask…confusing myself



" Oh no…we changed our names last Monday….I’m Pippa now." The cheery…braided Willow says…." Like the Jazz singer…"



" Hi…uh…Pippa…" I say.



" And old bossy britches over there is Pru….it’s short for Prudence…."



" Hello, Pru." I say…



" Hello." Pru offers…all business.



" And Danger…" I say in my most disappointed voice. He shrinks down on his chair…looking guilty as all sin… " Would you care to explain yourself?"



" It wasn’t Danger’s fault." Pippa says. " He ran into us…and thought we were…Willow…and we kind of…MADE him help us with our plan…"



" Help you with WHAT plan…???" I ask…



" THE Plan…." Prudence explains with full-fledged obscurity…



Oh…THE Plan…I would have never gotten THAT…



" You’ll kidnap me…and then what?" I ask…



" Well…we kind of need something from you…." Pippa says.



" What could you possibly need from me?" I question.



And then with two deep, Willow-sized breaths…they lay it all out for me…



Maybe all Willows DO think alike…..



TBC….

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" You're NOT the source of me" - Buffy


" Tremble!" - Gacknar

[Sassette]

Oooh ... that tickles *G*



And I had actually guessed that Danger was involved ... however, the two Willows took me COMPLETELY by surprise. Though, now that I know they're here, I think I have an idea what there plan is.



-Sass

[TinyJewishSanta]

Swoon - I've finally gotten a message from wiccachica - I'm in! I'm in!.



And I meant ME - Mutant Enemy, but I think you knew that.



And I don't work at UCLA, but my lovely wife (and by wife, I mean married in everyone's eyes but the law) does. I teach at a small college in the region.



Wow - I could be walking around UCLA and pass by you without knowing it - so close to greatness...

"Willow - that's a tree. You're a tree. Tell me, do they have any nachos here, little tree?" Band Candy

Edited by: TinyJewishSanta at: 4/16/02 3:48:47 pm

[Canadian Kitty]

LOL!! The two Willow's took me completely by surprise. Unlike Sass, I have no idea what they're planning but I know what I'd being planning to do with a captive Tara.



CK

"You wanna go out sometime, for coffee, food, kisses and gay love?" Willow- Normal Again.

[AutumnT]

heh.



I called the Willows. Neener.

Autumn

-----------

Buffy: I could wrestle naked in grease for a living and still be cleaner than after a shift at the Doublemeat.

Willow: Plus, I'd visit you at work every single day. --- "Normal Again" shooting script

[wiccachica]

Sass is so close to me right now...she can read what I'm writing! No fair!



Yes..I think Sass has a good idea about what the Willow's want.



TinyJewishSanta... You have always been in...with me. Most of the time I just don't answer back because it takes longer to write responses than it does to write my fic... LOL! And how weird would that be if we DID run into eachother at the UC??? LOL...you never know...Hey...maybe you ALREADY KNOW ME...(boo-mwahahahaha)!



CK....Yeah...I know what I'd do with a captive Tara too! Too bad I have to follow the rules of plot development this time (who am I kidding??? When has there EVER been a plot in my fic???)



edited to add: AutumnT...I told you you hadit down better than you knew! Smart one, you!

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" You're NOT the source of me" - Buffy


" Tremble!" - Gacknar

Edited by: wiccachica  at: 4/16/02 4:12:46 pm

[TinyJewishSanta]

I think the "boo-mwahahahaha" would give you away. So if I hear that sound, then I'll turn around and timidly ask, "wiccachica?"

"Willow - that's a tree. You're a tree. Tell me, do they have any nachos here, little tree?" Band Candy

[jdcioffi]

All Willow's think alike? Oooooh ... we know what Willow thinks of Tara ... all Willow's think that? Neato!



JD

...but if I did call, she wouldn't hang up on me.

[Sassette]

Oh, I >always< know what the Willow's want ... but generally, I'm criminally stupid, so I'm watching over my shoulder as wiccachica is writing on my back ... that's how I knew about Danger (wiccachica, sweetie - you've got terrible handwriting).



Autumn, however, not only figured out the Willow thing, she did it >without< cheating.



-Sass

[AutumnT]

That's right. No cheating here. I just like the idea of lots of Willows since then maybe there'd be a spare one for me. I'll even take one sopping wet.

Autumn

-----------

Buffy: I could wrestle naked in grease for a living and still be cleaner than after a shift at the Doublemeat.

Willow: Plus, I'd visit you at work every single day. --- "Normal Again" shooting script

[LeatherQueen]

*claps excitedly* Oh yay!! Thank you, chica... *sigh* The Willows are back. I've been waiting to see them again.



And yeah... if I were one of the Willows, I sure as hell know what my Plan would be.



Thanks chica! I was hoping they'd come back soon.



So in celebration, both of the good news of the new job, and of the appearance of the Willows, I think a really good scritching is in order. With both hands...

--------------------------------


"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." - Glory


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Pixie gishmock]

You go Wiccachica!! Man, is Danger in trouble now! And thank you for distinguishing me from the west-end Pixie. No wonder my family always told me to stay away from that part of town.

Life is full of changes...The better you are at letting go of things, the freer your hands will be to catch something new. ~from Off The Map by Joan Ackerman
"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. ~from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette

[tkheaven]

Yes, all Willows do think alike. Even what i would like to happen doesn't really happen cuz Tara wouldn't let it happen (or would she) it might happen if maaayybe there were ..say, multiple Tara's happening?? hmm, then what might happen is a whole lot of merry hugs and gay love happenings...i think i just might happen to need some more coffee...

-----------------------------
"Hey Will, this is me. It doesn't all have to be good and fine. This is the room where you don't have to be brave. I still love you. If you're worried, you can be worried."

- Tara to Willow ~~ Episode 603: "Afterlife"

[mollyig]

I like PippaWillow!



I think Willow'll be cross with her counterparts though.

I could paint you in the dark, 'cause I've studied you with hunger as a work of art - Collecting you (Indigo Girls)

[wiccachica]

Good Morning Kittens!



TinyJewishSanta…I think I’ll have to laugh more around campus to catch your ear…(wink)



jdcioffi…If all Willows think alike…and you are thinking what I think you are…then you must be a Willow yourself…tell the truth…you are…aren’t you…? (picks up filmy net to catch you with)



Sass…You are NOT Criminally stupid! I’ll not have that kind of talk around here, Missy! I’ve read your fic and I KNOW your genius…so don’t play dumb to me! (Oh by the way…I’ve been told I have perfectly functional handwriting…on and off the bare back)



AutumnT… Sopping wet? Uhm…why am I covering my eyes and blushing profusely right now? Any guesses?



LeatherQueen… Scritching with both hands…that’s intense! You realize what double handed scritching means don’t you…..? (goes to pull down books on the subject…)



Pixie…I always had faith that you were a decent and good Pixie from the right side of the Elm tree…(wink)



tkheaven…I’m just going to say…get yourself some more coffee, dear…(wink)



mollyig…Pippa-Willow just "fits" does she not? And I do agree with you…Willow-Willow would be cross if what I think you think they’re thinking is thought….(heh)



On with the show!



Chapter 149: What Willows Want



" You ARE joking, right?" I say with a half chuckle to indicate that I HOPE they are kidding me right now.



" No…and there is really very little time left." Pru says…



" Do you know how angry WILLOW-Willow is going to be if I did THAT?" I ask…directing my question at Pippa…because though she is equally resolved…she seems to be the one who will balk the quickest under pressure.



" We ARE here because of her…she MADE us…and besides…one hour in a room with us, and she would understand…I mean we ARE Willows…you know…we all want the same thing…" Pippa says…though I can see her resolve slipping a notch. Pru catches it too…



" Pip…did you bring the Sunnydale power grid back up?" She asks curtly.



" Oh! I forgot!" She runs to a laptop sitting on top of one of the large cement crypts and begins typing…



Damn….my only chance to talk some reason into them is now enthralled in a computer…if it were anyone but a Willow I would think I stood a chance…



" You two shut down the City’s power just to kidnap me?" I say.



" Well…only HALF the City’s power….but yes. Our cause is more important than a few hours of darkness or a defrosting freezer or two…hundred…." Pru says.



What are you the Willow Liberation Front?



" Your cause is that you both want me to make you extra Tara’s for Date Night, Pru…don’t glamorize what it really is, here…" I say.



" Okay…sue us…we want some Tara’s. We ARE still Willows you know….And I’ve done the math. It’s a statistical fact that Tara’s of our own would make us happy. Nothing else makes sense." Pippa says from her computer.



" Okay…say I agreed to even do this…which I’m not by the way…how in the world are you going to make me conjure up two more of me?"



Pru reaches into her pocket and pulls out the amulet, and dangles it on its chain.



" Where did you get that?" I ask.



" The night she made us…we took it …" Pru says.



" That’s stealing." I say.



" It’s payment for services rendered. And besides…you know Willows don’t steal…" Pru says.



" Yeah…but I’m getting the distinct feeling that Willows branch off pretty differently as time goes by…"



" Ooh….Branches…Willow tree…CUTE…" Pippa says.



" Pip….CAN IT." Pru says, fixing me with her pretty, Willow-resolve face. " Are you going to do this for us?"



" No." I say…" I can’t have two….ME…running around town, Pru…I just don’t think that’ll work." I say.



" They said they’re going to move away…no one will ever see them again…" Danger says. I turn to look at him and he sinks lower into his seat…Mack is on his lap…chewing on his thumb.



Okay…first…HOW did that little dog survive the carnival?…and next…



" YOU are on THEIR side, Danger?" I say incredulously. He looks down and away…



" Well they explained it to me…and I…well I feel sorry for them….Willows need The Tara’s plain and simple…"



" Date Night in a crypt playing Monopoly with Pippa is NOT my idea of a good time…" Pru says. " besides…neither of us can beat each other at a game involving math, money and strategy…it’s like purgatory…."



" Done!" Pippa says coming back from the laptop. " The power’s back up." She walks back over to stand in front of me.



I look from one Willow to the other…



" What are my choices here?" I ask.



" Well you can willingly make us Tara’s of our own…or Pip and I are going to have to…SHARE….you…"



I chuckle again…but this time with much less enthusiasm…



They are serious!



"S-share me?"



" You know I made a chart…" Pippa says hurrying over to a duffel on the floor and pulling out a weekly chart. " I used different color markers to indicate what days would be mine…what days would be Pru’s…and see here…I even gave you a day off on Tuesdays to…you know…recover…." She points to Tuesday marked in green pen…



(TARA’S DAY OFF)



Dear Goddess…..I’d laugh if this weren’t so REALLY going on right now….



TBC….

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" You're NOT the source of me" - Buffy


" Tremble!" - Gacknar

[mollyig]

It’s a statistical fact . . . Nothing else makes sense



Well, even though this is true, I still see Willow-Willow owing some other Willows a wee bit of pain!



Yet again, am astounded by your brilliant and barmy brain!

I could paint you in the dark, 'cause I've studied you with hunger as a work of art - Collecting you (Indigo Girls)

[UniDagger]

ooh naughty willows lmao. i love it. i dont think the world could handle more than one tara and one will tho. but hmmm, the possiblilites........

[LeatherQueen]

*LMAO* You know... between last night's tornadoes that ripped through just a few miles north of here, and the horrible, horrible week I've had so far,... I really, really needed this this morning. God that was funny!! And they made a chart!



Oh for this, you definitely deserve double-handed scritching! But... no... I don't know what it means. We're already scritched by troll law... what could this mean?



Also on the bright side, I think my loud laughing has disturbed the clerks who work in the back. Heh. Which is always a good thing.

--------------------------------


"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." - Glory


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[AutumnT]

Quote:

---

AutumnT… Sopping wet? Uhm…why am I covering my eyes and blushing profusely right now? Any guesses?

---

I have no idea.



*whistles innocently* or I would. If I could whistle. At least I can purse my lips. That's something, isn't it?



Perhaps I should not have had that last cup of coffee.

Autumn

-----------

Buffy: I could wrestle naked in grease for a living and still be cleaner than after a shift at the Doublemeat.

Willow: Plus, I'd visit you at work every single day. --- "Normal Again" shooting script

[Owl]

*paces around the revolving bed in a very disgruntled manner...*

What can I do to express my sincere congratulations to you, wiccachica??? Certainly a good vigorous scritching is in order... (I've been practicing, you know.) and then there's the party... And there should probably be presents, but what do you get the girl that turns everything into something scary or bizarre? Certainly not office supplies, or stuffed animals, donuts, or even twinkies, or even little Late Shift Commemorative figurines, because that would just lead to multiple mini-Willows running around causing mayhem. I'm almost certain of it.... Bad Idea.

....Maybe I'll make you your own ho-ho shaped car (as that seems to be the preferred model). Alright? But It's not gonna be squishy. It will be just as indestructable as an actual Ho-Ho though, so should be very safe to drive.



I must say that I was completely surprised that Danger was at the bottom of this little kidnapping fiasco. In fact, I had almost written, "Well it couldn't be Danger. Because he's far too clumsy to pull something like that off..." Well. Either It was Pru that stole Tara from the house, or Danger's vamp lessons from Spike are paying off. So, of course, waiting to find out for certain what The Plan is... *grins in eager anticipation, and is pulled back into the cuddlepuddle by a viciously cuddly woncubine, possibly the very off-the-hook Pixie (sg.)*

But what was with the glowing green lights? Hmmm?



Edited because: Ooh! an update! Grarr! This is insane! I'm not sure who's side I'm on here, though, because... the possibilities of multiple Taras... are simply mindboggling.....

Edited by: Owl at: 4/17/02 8:49:26 am

[AutumnT]

I thought the green lights were the night vision goggles?



Do I get another prize? A Willow?

Autumn

-----------

Buffy: I could wrestle naked in grease for a living and still be cleaner than after a shift at the Doublemeat.

Willow: Plus, I'd visit you at work every single day. --- "Normal Again" shooting script

[LeatherQueen]

That's what I thought, too. 4 little bouncing lights caused by 2 little bouncing Willows.



Heh... bouncing Willows.

--------------------------------


"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." - Glory


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[tiyodragon]

Hysterical twist! I love it.



Can you imagine the look on the scoobies face upon seeing three willows and three tara's running circles in a room NAKED? (to be a fly on the wall)



It's almost too smoochie to think about. (almost)



Keep up the good work.

tiyodragon

[Kalita]

This suddenly reminds me of the 'duplicates' storyline from Calvin and Hobbes.



Only, like, ten times funnier...

"And the fun just keeps on leavin'."

[Owl]

Okay, I suppose that makes sense.... but...

2 Willows = 4 bouncing lights.... Are four pixie enough to constitute a gang of pixie? More like a couple of couples of pixie on a double date.... Oh dear lord. My brain just went to a crazy visual place there....

[Pixie gishmock]

Oh God, wiccachica - they made a chart! With different colors! *Pixie has surreptitiously been collecting panties from all the woncubines in the cuddle puddle and now tosses the whole lot at wiccachica* Sass, sorry, I didn't mean for that one to land on your head. But you know, you are in her lap.



Hmmm, night goggles - that does make sense. Owl, mein gishmockeh tzatzkeh, I'm sure that's a lovely visual place. But we already discussed this - I'm not sharing.

Life is full of changes...The better you are at letting go of things, the freer your hands will be to catch something new. ~from Off The Map by Joan Ackerman
"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. ~from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette

[Sassette]

Awww, I think it's kind of romantic. I mean ... multiple Willows and Taras, extra witchy lovin' ... what's gonna' be wrong with that?



-Sass

[Canadian Kitty]

well based on that chart I guess they are planning to do the same thing I would with captive tara. Now that's a story line i look forward too.



CK

"You wanna go out sometime, for coffee, food, kisses and gay love?" Willow- Normal Again.

[Grimaldi]

love the last two updates, multiple Willows mutiple Taras sweet

"Oh, here comes the unholy butthole now. Hey, thanks alot for burning everything down, you little bitch!"

"All Day I Dream About fuckin' "