FIC: The Late Shift

[mollyig]

Oh my! What a visual that is. Willow as Leia.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[tkheaven]

*tk falls back off her chair from laughter..



Bless you, chica and the talented troll...a good scritching is in order.

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"

-----------------------------
Tara was similarly riveted, her body on slow burn as Willow's lips parted and her mouth opened, the food slipping inside and being consumed. Never in her life had Tara ever wanted to be a chicken casserole so badly...Later that night..."It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured, before passing out. ~ Answering Darkness by Sassette

[wiccachica]

Cough cough...



Okay...you want weird? You got weird...



You know the troll could let our girls hang out on an island half-naked...and ALONE....right?



I think he's been drinking again...



Chapter 176: Yes….It CAN get WEIRDER…



Let’s see….how did we get into THIS situation?



How is it that an hour and a half ago we were sitting on the beach, discussing a strategy to get off this island…or to look for help, and now….here we are…or rather…here I AM…half naked in my ‘jungle girl’ outfit…standing in a sandpit awaiting my opponent for the battle to the death for my girlfriend?



Does this kind of thing happen to everyone, or is it just a perk of being part of the Scooby gang?



I glance up once at Willow…who is still wearing the Princess Leia outfit. She tugs haplessly at her chain and pauses to figure out another basically useless tactic of escape. Her captor tugs her golden Princess Leia leash once…hard…hard enough to make me forget that I am about to begin a “death match” at any moment.



I veer out of the sandpit and storm up the stairs towards Willow.



“Do that again, and you’ll think you’re wearing a low jack…I’ll be on you so fast!!!” I snarl, pointing at the 6’7” woman seated beside Willow, cinching the chain tight enough to keep my girlfriend close to her. I feel several Amazonian Guardswomen’s hands yank me to a stop about two stairs up to the “stage”.



“ I found her…fairly…wandering about in MY territory…to put it plainly…the red-haired pixie is MINE. If you want her…you have to fight my mate for her.” The Amazon Queen says smugly. It’s obvious that the Queen has almost a full foot on me, and probably about seventy or more pounds…but she seems impressed that I stomped as far as I had up the stairs after her. I had gained at least an iota of respect before she waved her gargantuan thugs to stop me. It must be the braids…



If you are confused at this point…let me just say that so am I…



“ What is this, grade school? Finder’s keepers? That’s my GIRLFRIEND you have…on a LEASH…” I say…meanwhile I’m being herded back down into the sandpit by women who look like someone had genetically combined Late night wrestling divas and WNBA all-stars in a lab and sprinkled them over a small uncharted island.



“ Tara?” Willow calls, not trying the silly move of trying to reach me. Like the last time…when I was being dragged out of my cell and untied in the center of the sandpit, Willow had attempted to hurry to my side.



Bad Move.



It had been the first time Queen Vasedra had come off of her seat. Like a great cat, she had put an Oak-limb-sized arm around Willow’s waist and lifted her bodily back to the smaller seat beside her, where she plunked the redhead down like an insolent child.



“ Stay.” Is all she had said. And then propped a small wreath of flowers on top of Willow’s hair for good measure.



Now I was being pitched delicately back into the pit by her guards. I staggered into the sand…and glared at them.



okay…if I had to fight to win back Willow…then bring it on



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



The drums seemed to filter into the arena from nowhere and everywhere. I watched in curious awe as several Amazons scurried to light the torches skirting the sand pit….then quickly scampered away and out of the ring…as though whoever was sure to be appearing was enough to scare the living daylights out of even these tall women.



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



Another tall woman came up to my side from behind and handing me a broadsword big enough to make even Xena blush like a vestal virgin.



Clump!



The heavy blade of the sword strikes the sand, as I am not strong enough to hold it steadily up for more than a millisecond.



The larger woman beside me shakes her head…as though disappointed in my inability to hold up a piece of steel that could be melted down and made into a mid-sized car…



She hands me a smaller sword…something more fitting to my size.



“ This is fine.” I say to her as I heft the still-heavy-but-more-manageable sword. She looks at me…and then the sword.



“ It’s the pre-teen model.” She says, as though she feels sorry for me.



Well at least I’m not the only one here feeling sorry for me



“ Uhm…is there any other way to resolve this? You know…without the shedding of blood, or the dismembering of…well…ME??” I figured she was the best person to ask…I mean she WAS feeling at least some sort of pity for me.



“ No.” She said.



Elaborate much?



“ No? I mean…can’t I just take my girlfriend and…you know…just go on our merry way?” I give her one of my smiles…the one that usually turns Willow all gooey-eyes and giggly.



“No.” The woman says curtly. Although I do see her hard features soften a bit. “ The Queen found the redhead on her land…therefore she belongs to her. Red hair is a rare trait here…very coveted to have a mate in a harem that has such a colour. She is priceless. The rules are simply if you want what she has…you have to fight her first mate… Kalei…”



Rules scmules…



“ And this Kalei…she’s like…pretty tough?”



The taller woman makes a non-committal noise that sounds a little like “ Like an evil badger on a bad day…” And then she backs away and out of the sandpit.



Okay…so there’s a huge and powerful glimmer of absolutely NO HOPE whatsoever…



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



And this time it is not the drums…but my heart.



“ Let the contest begin…” Vasedra calls into the area…and the shouts of hundreds of women rise into the night air.



Of all the places you could have been stranded…you had to land on an island inhabited by randy Amazonian gladiators. Couldn’t it have been a bunny reserve? Or a Koala Bear habitat?



The gates at the far end of the area swing open….



I lift my sword…having technically no idea how to use it…and frankly no will to shed the blood of ANYONE…I am so not about the violence thing…okay…I’m a lot of talk…but I probably wouldn’t…and COULDN’T have really low-jacked the Queen…



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



The flames on the torches flutter in the wind… casting an eerie strobe-effect in the arena as Kalei enters.



My sword drops about a foot as she ducks down to get through the already tall doorway.



oh my oh my….oh my….



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



TBC…

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" You're NOT the source of me" - Buffy


" If you imps are lookin for a fight, then ya come to the Chapel Oblige-ya!!" - Legend

[Rane018]

darn it niki! i keep missing out on the updates cause i dont see them on the update thread and then i see this thread come up again and i search and search and search all lost and wondering if at all there is an update and i'm finally sorta all caught up with this and i love it! it just gets weirder and weirder. how cool is that? thanks! hehe...

"She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard." Tara, The Wisdom Of War...

[LeatherQueen]

Is your troll, by any chance, eating some strange mushrooms? Because that was one of the weirdest updates of all time. But I loved it!

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Latsric]

okay, i'll go with it....



KICK HER ASS TARA!!!





-Lat-

- I need my obsessions, they keep me sane -

[mollyig]

Oh my Jaysus. Amazons? Yeah, but Willow & Tara can be strong as them, can't they?



Go sword-wielding Tara!



Your troll is wacky, weird and wonderful!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[zero]

Oh yeah, that was weird.

*contented sigh* I feel so at home here!

'Winners never quit, and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots!'

[tkheaven]

yep, you gave us weird alright..first is was Click, click, scrape......., now it's Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum, but ya know what, I'm right up there in that corner (away from the Amazonians) rooting for sword-weilding jungle-braided Tara!! (while eyeing a chained up Willow in a Princess Leia outfit..hmm not a bad look) *ahem* Go Tara, Go Tara, Go Go Go Tara!

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"

-----------------------------
Tara was similarly riveted, her body on slow burn as Willow's lips parted and her mouth opened, the food slipping inside and being consumed. Never in her life had Tara ever wanted to be a chicken casserole so badly...Later that night..."It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured, before passing out. ~ Answering Darkness by Sassette

[Sassette]

Oh. My. Heck.



Niki ... Dear. Oh my ... oh my oh my oh my ... Heck.



This is all so ... bizarre. And random. And strange. God, I love it. And Tara *snicker* ... fighting the Amazon Queen's First Mate ... *snicker snicker* ... for Willow ... *guffaw*



Honestly, I'm really feeling sorry for the Amazons at this point - this can only go badly for them in the long run.



-Sass

______________________________________

I Think The Hellmouth Tastes Like Chicken -- Autumn

[Hushpuppy]

Thanks for the updates-glad the troll's back. I don't post often, but wanted to say that I love your writing. It's brilliant in a Monty Python kind of way-You laugh your ass off and then realize how literate and original the story is...and then you laugh your ass off again.

[tiyodragon]

O.K. Chica....



My guess is, your view of life is to throw the compass right out the window! Because there is no way in hell to predict the direction of chica-shift at any given moment!!!



I never would have thought of Amazons...well at least as far as the story is concerned.



Your shiftiness is edge-of-your-seat fun.



battle on,

tiyodragon

[mollyig]

I was on my way home from work on the bus, and a few of us were having a conversation about Wimbledon. When one of my fellow passengers stated that the Williams sisters were like Amazons I started giggling uncontrollably.



Just as well they had already formed an opinion of me as being mad!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[wiccachica]

And now a little beck and call…



Rane… Okay…okay…I’ll try to remember to put the updates on the update thread…no more sneaking around for me…I promise. After a rousing chastisement from The Rane… I am humbled. BTW…I’ll have you know that yours was the VERY first fic I ever read here on the Kitten. Camp Flutie if I’m not mistaken…You were my inspiration…my muse…I still have the images stuck in my head of a truck parked somewhere and some interesting goings-on….heh… Was that you? Did you write that?



LeatherQueen…Okay…do I get a scritch if I make this next one seem like the troll is not only on shrooms…but also downing “E” like nobody’s business? Or can I just have a scritch anyhoo?



Lat…That’s right Dearie…just GO WITH IT…Let the ass-kickin’ commence and bring on the popcorn!



Molly…Don’t ask the troll where the Amazons came from…not to mention asking him about his motive for jumping the scene from the beach…right into the sandpit of doom. It seemed very Days of Our Lives to me…and when I mentioned it to the troll…he blew me a raspberry and a crude troll gesture. I never ask….I…never…ask…



Zero…Welcome home, Dear (pats back and hums a lullaby) Welcome home….



Tkheaven…Are you SHIFTED yet? Can you hear the drums? I heard them in my head as the story was presenting itself on the page…and I busted out laughing. I was thinking of the soundtrack drums one always hears …like on Gilligan’s island…hee hee…and as for your great wording “jungle-braided Tara” with the sword poised…hair swinging…YOWZA!



Sass…(pats lap) Right here, Dearest. I hope I gave you a good laugh.



Hushpuppy… That you equate my writing to Monty Python makes me blush with happiness. That you think I’m literate and original just makes me want to MARRY you. (of course the Troll demands scratching rights as well)



Really…thank you…I’m honored and thank you for posting…



More Shifting to come this weekend!



niki

[LeatherQueen]

Ah, you beck and I come. Er... I mean, I show up.



Yes, you can have a scritching anyhoo. Anywhere, too.



And I just have this mental image of the troll sitting in front of his tiny computer, tapping away with one tiny, little finger as the rest of him is too woosy and melty from shrooms and E to keep him glued together. And THAT'S where we get our updates from. Heh... no wonder they're so brilliant!

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[DarkWiccan]

Charo must suddenly appear and lull the Amazon's with her fabulous guitar playing and "cootchie-cootchie" mantra!



It must be done!



But then again... whatever you come up with will be sooo much better!





Cheers

DarkWiccan

[Rane018]

since i'm a lame-o who doens't know how to quote...



Quote:

******

Okay…okay…I’ll try to remember to put the updates on the update thread…no more sneaking around for me…I promise. After a rousing chastisement from The Rane… I am humbled. BTW…I’ll have you know that yours was the VERY first fic I ever read here on the Kitten. Camp Flutie if I’m not mistaken…You were my inspiration…my muse…I still have the images stuck in my head of a truck parked somewhere and some interesting goings-on….heh… Was that you? Did you write that?

*******



how rousing, niki? hehe... just kidding. yeah that truck and fic was me. part two is floating around here somewhere... and trust me La Rane is humbled. thank you. inspiration... muse... i'm all a blushing. if you could see me now... i absolutely adore this fic with all its wackyness and imagination, all i did was start a silly fic of the scoobies at camp. hehe... how crazy that was the first fic you read... again, you absolutely rock niki



***************************************

"She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard." Tara, The Wisdom Of War...

Edited by: Rane018 at: 7/5/02 3:36:13 pm

[wiccachica]

Okay...remember back in the old days when I used to post two...sometimes three times a day??? And then those times where I took like a month sabbatical to travel the world in search of more Shifty Inspiration?



Just checking.



LeatherQueen A scritching...anywhere??? Okay...I'm going to hold you to that... (is that the right term for that...?)



DW All I am going to say to you is STEAK DINNER, BABY...3.99...that's all it takes....



Rane It is you! The mother of my inspiration to write fic here on the board! I thought it was you! You are like the Queen of all you survey! I bow humbly to you...and thank you for the images I carry with me of a truck...and a camp....and a walk in the night...to a truck...heh...okay... I'm remembering too much...I'll have to read your new one...and get all new images to carry with me.



niki



And now...on with the show....



Chapter 177:Cataclysmagogy of Interest



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum





Once in a while…over a particularly giggly giggle-fest while watching TV, Tara and I would often play the game “ If They Mated”.



Our minds, ever searching for the familiar, would spot an actress, or actor who was the perfect combination of two other famous people.



As the arena doors swing open and the drums begin to pound in earnest, I can’t help reverting back to the habitual game.



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



The woman that leans through the door of the arena is a perfect candidate for the game. If they had been able to mate, this woman’s parents would have definitely been the female wrestler Chyna…and Gina Gershon.



Long, thick black hair, olive toned complexion, and a generous mouth currently set into a grim line. An angular jaw, and what looks to be the intense desire to crush my girlfriend into tiny Tara bitsy-tweensies.



A raucous cheer rises from the surrounding crowd. This titanic woman seems to be a shoe-in to win tonight. The bets have been placed, and the betting cages have been closed.



Well won’t they be surprised when MY girlfriend…MY Tara…musters up all of her fighting skills, and talent to…



I watch as Tara’s sword wavers and drops in stunned awe as she looks up at the supermodel skyscraper of woman thundering into the ring of sand.



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



…RUNS like she is auditioning for Chariots of Fire II…



Tara stares agog at the woman. It’s hard to tell whether or not she’s shocked by the sheer size and muscular discrepancy between them…or the fact that she basically looks like someone smooshed about five Gina Gershons together like a great big Gina Voltron.



Either way…she is way too much for anyone smaller than a sturdy 1956 Buick.



And then it hits me.



I gingerly move closer to my captor, who is currently allowing her mate to intimidate mine out in the sand pit.



“ Why would she be fighting for you to have me if you are her mate?” I ask. Vasedra turns to me…and gives the chain a little tug to let me know that she’s still the boss of me.



“ She’s fighting so that…as my first Mate…she gets the honor of being the first of my harem to SHARE you…” Vasedra says…watching her First Mate size up my ONLY mate.



TILT….TILT…game over….



“ Share ME???” I squeak.



“ A red-head is very rare…they are potent…full of life and vigor… and have been known to be sexually insatiable… a prize indeed worth fighting for….” Vasedra states as though it is written down on a stone tablet somewhere in a cave on a hill…



Okay…so she’s mostly on the right track….hey! Wait a darn minute…you don’t want a HAREM of Amazons sharing you!!!! Insatiable or not! And beside…you’re only insatiable for one girl in this hill of beans world and that is T-A-R-A…Tara…



Thrum-ba-da-dum----ba-da-dum---bada dum-dum-dum



“So how many do you have in your H…H…harem??” I manage to sputter.



“ As the Queen. I am allowed several…”



“ Three or four…not too ba…”



“ ….dozen….” Vasedra finishes.



I calculate this in my head and take a long drawn breath.



“ KICK HER ASS, TARRRRRRRA!!!” I scream over the shouts of the area…



I see the tall Gina Gershonicon turn to cast a look my way…a rather…unusual look from her stern features…



A wink and a smile…and a little curve of the lip…



She’s flirting with me!



I see Tara look from the Mighty Oak before her to me…and then back to her….



A hue of red rises from her chest to her brow line like a cartoon thermometer. Suddenly she does not seem to care how big this woman is. She says something that whips the Taller woman’s head around to look at her again.



One thing sexier and more dangerous than Jungle Tara in braids... wielding a sword….



Is a rosy-cheeked Tara in the throes of jealously.



TBC…

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" You're NOT the source of me" - Buffy


" If you imps are lookin for a fight, then ya come to the Chapel Oblige-ya!!" - Legend

[LeatherQueen]

Hold me to a scritching? Yep, I believe that's the right term. And oh what loveliness is this! Heh... OH yeah... Tara's gone all grrrr and sexy and butch. Kick her ass, Tara!!



Gina Gershonicon... *snort* That's a good one...

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Sassette]

Holy Mother of Pearl.



Leapin' Lizards.



And other G-Rated Exclamations that are escaping me right now because my brain has seized up.



*crawls into wiccachica's lap*



Oh, yes - a very good laugh indeed.



-Sass

______________________________________

I Think The Hellmouth Tastes Like Chicken -- Autumn

[tkheaven]

Quote:

---

One thing sexier and more dangerous than Jungle Tara in braids... wielding a sword….

Is a rosy-cheeked Tara in the throes of jealously.

---

Hows about sexy and dangerous rosy-cheeked butch Jungle Tara in braids in the throes of jealousy...wielding a sword...with that little outfit Sheena wore (remember that?) I'd go for that anyday! and then watch her kick some Gershonicon Jungle ASS... I can see Willow's face when she screams “KICK HER ASS, TARRRRRRRA!!!”

Oh wicca, dear, love, sweetie I'm Hooked on this fic. Can't wait for the next upadate

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"

-----------------------------
Tara was similarly riveted, her body on slow burn as Willow's lips parted and her mouth opened, the food slipping inside and being consumed. Never in her life had Tara ever wanted to be a chicken casserole so badly...Later that night..."It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured, before passing out. ~ Answering Darkness by Sassette

[wiccachica]

TK...I'm only laughing so hard right now because it WAS the Sheena outfit that Tara put on! ROFLMA!!! It was the only female jungle outfit I can remember...



No joke...It's a beige little number that slants at the bottom (which isn't too far from the top btw) and a top that (ahem) pushes the boobalas to the fore front.



(I may be the only human left with a working VHS copy of Sheena...Queen of the Jungle)

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" Nymph! (pause)Nymphette?"


"Nympho." -The Pirate Movie
-


" If you imps are lookin for a fight, then ya come to the Chapel Oblige-ya!!" - Legend

[Grimaldi]

great update



go jealous Tara, kick some Amazon butt

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

Worm, are you ready to die in the cleansing apocalypse?

Its not my fault that you're a little geek with no sense of humor

[LeatherQueen]

Mmmm... Tara, Queen of the Jungle...



Lovely image, that...

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[tkheaven]

ROFLMAO HAHAHAHAA WooooHOOOOO!! oh boy, BWaaahahahaahaa... it was only mental I had...LOL..oh yes, those BOOBALAS

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"

-----------------------------
Tara was similarly riveted, her body on slow burn as Willow's lips parted and her mouth opened, the food slipping inside and being consumed. Never in her life had Tara ever wanted to be a chicken casserole so badly...Later that night..."It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured, before passing out. ~ Answering Darkness by Sassette

[Rane018]

to quote niki....



It is you! The mother of my inspiration to write fic here on the board! I thought it was you! You are like the Queen of all you survey! I bow humbly to you...and thank you for the images I carry with me of a truck...and a camp....and a walk in the night...to a truck...heh...okay... I'm remembering too much...I'll have to read your new one...and get all new images to carry with me.



hehe, you are too funny niki. yes, the truck, the walk to the truck, the goings on in the truck... many kittens cant seem to get past the whole truck scene. CK bet me (i cant remember what right now but...) to see how many times the truck would be mentioned in the new part. it's been a few already. i'm still trying to figure out how to top that... as for this romp in brilliance i reciprocate bowness. there are lots of great writers here and i just love being able to share all of our w/t loving with each other the way it should be. not *with* with each other but you know what i mean. Tara better kick some ass and get her highly priozed redhead back on that boat. and off the island. and away from everyone. lock her up in their room and never leave so nothing weird can happen... lol... hugs chica.

"She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard." Tara, The Wisdom Of War...

[zero]

Quote:

---

"RUNS like she is auditioning for Chariots of Fire II"

---

Ha! You crack me up!

'Winners never quit, and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots!'

[wiccachica]

Chapter 178:Rumblturgy and Snicker-Snackery



She did NOT just WINK at my girlfriend!!! Tell me she didn’t just do what I think she just did…! Because if she WAS flirting with her…then the gloves come off…



“Okay, Broadzilla…let’s go over The Rule…” I say up to her. I can feel my cheeks burning.



She turns to look down at me with something akin to contempt and mild amusement.



“ This is a battle to the death. There ARE no rules.” Kalei says down to me.



“ The RULE is…you don’t WINK at my woman…and I’ll let you leave this ring without the aid of a tow truck…” I say, hardening my expression so that she knows I am serious. I lift my sword up slightly.



“ You have a lot of ….what’s the word I’m thinking of….for talking to me like that…”



“ Bravery? Chutzpah? Moxy?” I offer over the blade of my sword.



She hoists her own blade into view. It looks roughly the width of a two-lane highway this close up.



“ Stupidity….that’s the word…Stu-pid-ity…” She says, and lifts the side of her mouth into a smile before she brings the blade whistling down at me.



Out of the corner of my eye I think I see all of the Amazons exchanging money like there’s no tomorrow…thinking this is surely the end of me already.



Purely out of instinct I raise my hand to shield my head from the blow…and as I do...the words spill out of my mouth as though I had spoken them a million times before this in a million other battles to the death with a million other Amazon Queen’s First Mates.



“Tempus Alterum.”



And I watch as the sword slows to a near stop a hairsbreadth from my hairline…giving me just enough time to sidestep the blow.



Such a spell never lasts long. They are borrowed milliseconds…never enough to do more than position oneself out of immediate peril. But it is enough and I can certainly not ask for anything more than enough.



<> The huge blade ricochets off the sandy floor with bone-rattling power. It takes Kalei a full second to realize that not only did she miss her target, but that her target had moved so quickly to the right, that she hadn’t even seen it happen. She spins on me again.



As she does, I take the opportunity to reach out and brush my hand across the steely flesh of her upper arm.



“Reflect.” I say and step back quickly, out of range.



Of course the Goddess would never allow me to use my gifts to destroy the life of another.



But it doesn’t mean she won’t allow those who serve her a FAIR FIGHT.



Kalei swings the broadsword low and precise…at shin-level.



A blow to an opponents leg assures a quick and easy win.



I don’t even think about it. I just react. I think I’m going to step out of the way, but I coil downward and then launch myself up and backwards…heels over head…to land just out of range of the wickedly sharp sword.



Did I just do that?



I hear the arena go strangely quiet.



Even Willow is staring at me with the oddest expression.



Since when did Tara get all IN with the Slayer Skills?



Kalei is the only one who seems to be nonplussed by my action. Basically she is more enraged that I am not standing still and dying like a good Lilliputian Lesbian.



She advances on me, and my mind tells me I should run, while my body does the exact opposite.



I advance.



If this were chess, then this would be a definite high-pressure move. Too bad I don’t seem to be doing the MOVING!!!



We meet in the center of the ring of sand and clash swords hard enough to make the nerves in my hands shudder with pain.



This is not unlike tennis…backhand…forehand…lob….lob…



We blaze away at one another…neither giving the other an inch of ground, and neither taking the upper hand….even though at her height….her hands are already kind of…well…UPPER…



Fast, powerful, and furious is the fighting style Kalei adheres to.



Fast, Powerful, and furious is what I give right back.



She spins and delivers a tricky blow, and I’m ready for her with a block that sends her staggering back…stopping to stare at me as though she can’t believe a pipsqueak is holding her own out here with her.



A sheen of perspiration shines Kalei’s brow.



As long as she is willing to fight, she will feed the reflection spell…fighting against her own self through me…



She charges again and there is another volley of swords.



The drummers have stopped. The arena had fallen silent to the clattering of our blades.



I push her away with my foot and she wheels back a few steps, breathing heavily, brows knitting with confusion.



I stare back at her, taking great gulps of air, and trying not to waver wearily on my feet.



“ You and I are matched with the sword.” She says.



Oh good. That’s means it’s a draw and I can just take my red-headed prize and go hom….



I watch her toss her sword to the side….and then roll up her mental sleeves. Her giant muscles flexing and unflexing.



I toss my sword away…wondering if they are going to offer us a meal and a complimentary room here at Chateau de Amazonia for all the trouble before Willow and I high-tail it out of h…



“ Let us see how you do hand to hand…” Kalei says.



What???



TBC…

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" Nymph! (pause)Nymphette?"


"Nympho." -The Pirate Movie
-


" If you imps are lookin for a fight, then ya come to the Chapel Oblige-ya!!" - Legend

[Sassette]

Okay, first ... Go Tara! Yay Tara! Smack her down some more, Tara!



Second ... Oh My Heck - the Pirate Movie! I love the Pirate Movie!



-Sass

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I Think The Hellmouth Tastes Like Chicken -- Autumn

[LeatherQueen]

Liliputian Lesbian? Go Tara with the Amazon Smack-Down! You gotta love Tara when she's all large with the butch in her jungle braids and Sheena-outfit.



And the Pirate Movie!? All I can think of when I hear that movie is this silly song my friend wrote for me, "I am the very model of a lesbian librarian..." Yes. My friends are weird. And so am I for mentioning this... *ahem* Back to the Late Shift...

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"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica