Title: Old Fire

Author: Kaia (Karinna)

Email: klattes@gmail.com

Feedback: Pretty please?

Rating: Right now, PG. But it’ll have a very few NC-17 parts soon.

Disclaimer: The dialogs from the intro, the characters of BtVS and the whole BtVS universe belongs to Joss Wheddon. The story and rest of the characters are the product of the half brain I have left and, of course, I'm not making any profit of it.

Summary: What happens when you break up with the love of your life and you run in to her? Do you stay away or do you give in to temptation?

Spoilers: Come on...the show's been over for years!


Author’s Notes:
1. I’m a sucker for angst so my angst threshold is kinda high. Therefore, I should probably warn you: there will be angst.

2. This was originally posted a few months ago, but it's been slightly modified since then.

3. db, my sweet sponge-girl. Thank you for investing time in this. *hugs*


***************************************


Intro

It was late. The day had been one of those you don’t like to remember and the two witches were getting ready for bed, trying to get through the stress in the air.

“I, I'm sorry, okay?” The redhead said, trying to make the burning feeling in the pit of her stomach disappear.

“It's not that easy” Tara replied firmly as she started throwing the pillows off the bed.

“Well, what do you want me to do? Reverse time and take it back?” Willow chucked “Cause I could probably…” Tara’s grim look stopped her mid-sentence after. “Joke.” Willow stammered “I don't think I could really…”

“You know what? Can, can we not do this now? I'm tired” This time, the blonde’s angry voice stopped Willow in her tracks.

“Okay. Let's just forget it ever happened” The redhead whispered under her breath as she walked to the nearby table and picked up a flower in her hand. “Forget” she softly whispered, as she turned to climb into bed.

Tara’s frown disappeared immediately. “Ooh, your feet are cold.” Tara giggled as she snuggled up to the red head.

“Better warm me up” Willow said a little tentatively.

“This is how every day should always end ... and start. And all the stuff in the middle” Tara said as she placed a soft kiss on her lover’s cheek.

“So, you’re not mad?” Willow replied, smiling.

“’Bout what?” Tara smiled, hugging the redhead tight. Willow faced Tara and started kissing her full lips softly, taking the time to taste and nibble at them as her hands started trailing paths on the blonde’s sides.

“Feeling a little naughty tonight, love? ’Cause you know what that does to me, right?” Tara whispered in Willow’s ear.

“I love you so much Tara, you’re my everything and I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you. So I wanna be with you now, together…I wanna…”

“Shh…honey, I love you too” the blonde said as her hips started moving against Willow’s in a slow rhythm. “I’m yours baby, and there’s nothing I want more than to feel you inside of me forever.”

The pair didn’t say another word. They just focused on each other. Their tears flowing freely down their faces, blind to the white light that was starting to concentrate around them.

The morning light found them tangled up in each others arms, still covered in sweat and completely spent. Tara reluctantly crawled out of bed feeling like her knees were going to bend any minute now, unable to do anything about the smile on her face. Willow stirred, immediately missing the contact.

It wasn’t long afterward that the two witches sang and danced their way toward uncovering Willow’s ‘forget’ spell. Tara’s discovery of Willow’s spell was devastating, but it wasn’t until Willow’s botched attempt at a spell to erase Buffy’s memories from her time in heaven along with Tara’s memory of Willow’s betrayal that Tara left her.

That, was almost two months ago.


*********************************************

Part One


It had been seven weeks. Seven weeks since she left the house she had shared with her family: Buffy, Dawn…Willow. The seven hardest weeks of her entire life.

Tara had been avoiding the Scoobies. She didn’t feel strong enough to face any of them, not yet. She had tried to stay as far away from any scooby-related thing as she could. She knew that she was trying to make the pain feel less real; trying to make herself feel more real. It hadn’t worked.

She struggled with herself every waking hour. Even her dreams were haunted by nightmares revolving around a certain redhead. Her precious Willow. Precious? Definitely. Hers? Not anymore.

Being away from Willow hadn’t been easy. Not a bit easy. Still, Tara was thankful that she hadn’t run into her. She knew that if she did there would be nothing to keep her pain at bay. Abstinence was the only thing that allowed Tara to stay strong in her resolve. She was quitting Willow cold turkey – it was the only way.

Tara was about to open the door to the Expresso Pump when she saw her through the window. There was the familiar flamey red hair, and Tara couldn’t help but notice it was a little longer but not as shiny as she remembered it. Her skin was paler and her clothes looked like they had been worn for days and days.

Tara took a step back from the door, and moved a little to get a better view of her former lover from the outside of the coffee shop. So much for cold turkey, Tara’s fragile heart broke all over again. Willow had her left elbow against the table and her head rested carelessly on her hand. Her eyes were fixed on the paper cup in front of her, a slight frown on her face as she focused on steadying her shaking right hand to grab it, unsuccessfully.

Willow dropped her hand heavily to her side and closed her eyes. She had become used to this. She couldn’t control her own hands, which made simple tasks into a really big deal. Everything was hard. Buttoning her shirt was a task that took her nearly 30 minutes to accomplish this morning. Bringing food to her mouth? Well, that was kind of a joke recently. Not that she really minded, she had no appetite since Tara left. Even when Buffy forced her it was useless, the food would end up flushed down the toilet after a few minutes anyway.

A solitary tear caressed Tara’s face. She never thought she would have to see Willow like this. She blamed herself, and it took all the logic in her at that moment to banish her guilty feelings. She closed her eyes and forced the acid back down her throat. Willow had chosen magic over her after all, there was not much she could do right now.

She opened her eyes and sighed. Had she been foolish enough to believe that she wouldn’t run into her again? Not realistic. Especially in a small town like Sunnydale. Gathering all the courage she had left in her, Tara walked into the shop and stood next to Willow. She stood there for a few minutes, expecting Willow to notice, but the redhead didn’t move. Nothing really mattered to her these days, and since she had lost the peace of Tara’s pools of blue there was nothing worth looking at, so she might as well keep her eyes closed.

“Willow…”

A soft whisper reached Willow’s ears, making her wince in pain. Warm tears started flowing down the red head’s gaunt cheeks as she forced herself to keep her eyes closed. She wouldn’t open them because she knew the voice would go away the second she did, just like every other dream of Tara had.

Tara’s soft hand brushed Willow’s tears away and a startled Willow couldn’t help but open her eyes, lift her head and sit back in her chair. Tara pulled her hand back, instantly regretting her actions, and both women stood there for what seemed like ages just looking into each other’s eyes.


****************************************

Part Two


“I-I’m s-sorry Willow, I never m-meant to scare y-you. I’ll just g-go” Tara stuttered.

“Tara? Is it really you?” Willow hung her head, letting her auburn locks cover her face, a gesture mimicking Tara’s body language from when they first met. “I can barely tell reality from my dreams anymore. Everything seems so unreal” she whispered.

“Is it OK if I sit?” The pained expression on her ex-lover’s face made Tara’s stomach tighten immediately.

Willow nodded. She couldn’t believe Tara was really here. Or maybe she wasn’t and this was another dream? To be honest, she didn’t care…if this was a dream then she never wanted to wake up again.

The more Willow looked at her ex, the more evident the contrast between them was. Tara was beautiful as ever, alive…vibrant. And there she was: pale, thin… broken. Her body and soul were broken, and she had already begun to believe she would never get fixed, like a yellow crayon ruined a long time ago.

They didn’t talk. They just sat there contemplating each other. For two years there hadn’t been a single moment when they didn’t know what the other was feeling, and today was no different. Willow could taste the bitterness of betrayal lingering in Tara’s mind and Tara was feeling the anguish and desperation flowing in her former lover’s blood. Willow’s head was resting on her left hand, slightly tilted to the side. Her vision blurred with tears as her eyes fixed on Tara, trying to find the moment when everything went beyond wrong.

And then it happened. Tara’s fingers laced with her own, lifting Willow’s pale hand to those partly parted, warm, full lips. She felt the familiar moisture of Tara’s tongue on her knuckles and could see blue eyes drifting shut. Willow closed her own eyes, softly placing her palm on the warm cheek before her and tentatively running her thumb over Tara’s soft lips. Willow moaned, unable to stop the shivers down her spine when she felt those lips part and slowly envelope the offered digit.

Time slowed. Neither of them knew what was happening or what this meant. The world began to fade around them, as Willow felt the pull on her hand urging her to stand up and follow. The walk seemed like an eternity for the blonde, especially since no word had been said by either of them since the coffee shop. Finally reaching her destination, Tara stopped walking and only now Willow, who until that moment had been so caught up by the feeling of her love’s hand in hers, noticed that they were standing at the door of the Summers’ residence.

TBC...

Wow. Captivating and a little.... hmmm.... creepy?

Color me disturbed, but eager for more.

English seems good by the way.

- Boschi

Hi there

That was a really interesting start for a story. You know as much as I love the "Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me again?" part I always thought it would have been fascinating to see Willow and Tara working through the long and important process of dealing with Willow's addiction and somehow finding their way back to each other fully.

It was sad to see Willow looking so lost sitting in that coffee table, not even knowing what was real and what was not. I wonder if she has stopped casting and is feeling the cold turkey or if something major happened with that big light that enveloped willow and Tara during the “forget” spell…

I’m curious to see what will happen next

Oh and by the way as far as I can tell your English is great

_________________

"I think love should be irresistable, like a drug. When it happens you just can't help yourself." Amy to Lucy in D.E.B.S.

I think it's a good idea to write about Tara not only witnessing Willow's addiction withdrawals but being there to (maybe?) help her.
Thanks for posting! Hope you will update soon!

_________________
"I don't get your crazy system!"
"System? It's called the alphabet!"

woah this story has a great start really kept my eyes glued. I am a sucker for angst and you said this would be angsty so im countin on ya!!! Well im dyin for an update so update soon plz???
Erin

_________________
"No candles?...Well I brought one..it's ExtraFlamey" Willow, New Moon Rising

ok. That was a really gos start. Wanna read more. I mean, things don't fix themselves that easy. Angs is nice if happy end happen afterward so... keep it up

Wow - a good start. Don't worry about your English - you are doing fine.

Looking forward to your next update.

Caz

_________________
"Gosh, look at those!" Willow - Doppelgangland

"I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!" Willow - Doppelgangland

Hi everyone!! First of all thanks to all the kittens that took the time to read this. I come baring replies, so here they are:
____________________________________________________________

Boschi: Umm…you’re right, it’s a little creepy, and the next part will probably be a little weird too. I hope that doesn’t stop you from reading. Thanks.

Sabina: I have the feeling the next update will surprise you and maybe disappoint you a little. There’s still a long way to go before they can start dealing or finding their way back together. You are right though, Willow is lost and in a lot of pain. But not from the addiction (although I like to think she did stop cold turkey) but from the fact that Tara left and they hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. As for the light during the spell…we’ll see, hehe. Thanks for reading.

WillowRulez: Willow’s addiction. Umm…well, to be honest I never liked the idea of Willow losing perspective and putting something (anything, though it’s magic in this case) over her relationship with Tara…but haven’t we all done it at some point? I guess what I’m trying to say is that this time we’re talking about Tara-withdrawals.
So, at risk of disappointing you and Sabina, there will be no helping with the dealing and you’ll probably hate me after the next update. *shrugs* I hope the future turn of events doesn’t stop you from reading. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on this.

Erin: A fellow sucker for angst!! Yay! Hehe…I’ll try to meet your expectations, I promise. Thanks!

Viximon: Well, you’re right…things don’t fix themselves at all, there’s always that ‘long and important process’, right? But this is Pens...so there will be a happy ending. Eventually. Hehe. Thanks.

Caz: Thank you so much for dropping by and the kind words. I’m happy that you like it.

As for an update...It'll be posted tomorrow around noon (if I don't oversleep, I work the night shift tonight). Thank you all!!

Karinna

_________________
Old Fire
Palme d'Or

yea an update soonish rather than laterish. love this story so far keep it comming.

Lottagay: thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy.


Well, here it. Work is a little slow tonight so I actually have the time to post this.

Rating: NC-17

See the first post for disclaimers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Previously...

Time slowed. Neither of them knew what was happening or what this meant. The world began to fade around them, as Willow felt the pull on her hand urging her to stand up and follow. The walk seemed like an eternity for the blonde, especially since no word had been said by either of them since the coffee shop. Finally reaching her destination, Tara stopped walking and only now Willow, who until that moment had been so caught up by the feeling of her love’s hand in hers, noticed that they were standing at the door of the Summers’ residence.

___________________________________________


Part Three

Willow let her eyes fall to her hand in Tara’s, and then back up to the lovely blue eyes that looked at her waiting for an answer, pleading. She could only close her eyes and silently nod, letting her ex-girlfriend lead her upstairs to the room they used to share. The house was deserted, it was almost as if time had been frozen and they were the only ones allowed to move, their silence only broken by the increasingly faster beating of their hearts in their chests.

They finally made it to the room and Tara closed the door behind Willow. The redhead tried to speak then but Tara’s finger on her lips stopped her, the same finger that a second later would begin trailing down the hacker’s throat and rest on the first button of the wrinkled black shirt she was wearing. Willow swallowed hard and long, slim fingers began slowly undoing each and every one of the offending buttons and sliding the now open shirt off her freckled shoulders.

Soon a black lace bra followed suit and Tara stared at Willow’s naked torso like she was in the Louvre looking at any of her favorite paintings. She couldn’t help but notice how pronounced the ribs were and started running her fingers over them before dropping to her knees and allowing her lips to follow the path trailed by them. She moved her hands to Willow’s waist to undo the belt, and noticed with sadness in her eyes that she could easily slide the jeans down without even unzipping them. She took Willow’s shoes off before standing up again and lifting Willow’s right leg with her hand and resting it around her own hips, gently pulling her up and motioning Willow to do the same with the left leg.

With Willow in her arms, legs tightly wrapped around her, she began walking towards the bed, slowly placing her precious cargo on it and laying on top of her, covering the slim body completely. After staring at those dilated green orbs for what seemed like a lifetime Tara finally closed the gap between their mouths, pressing her full lips on soft thin ones, nibbling, biting and thrusting her tongue into Willow’s mouth who eagerly accepted. The duel had begun.

Both women felt passion taking over their bodies, hands began roaming and Tara’s mouth moved to kiss Willow’s jaw, her neck, her collarbone and her chest to finally take a pink, hard nipple in her mouth, sucking greedily.

The redhead bit her lower lip as her back arched, offering herself to the blonde. She thought she’d never feel those lips on her again, the Goddess knows she had given up that right by choosing to dwell in magic instead of Tara’s heart.

She was so caught up in the feeling of Tara’s lips on her that she didn’t notice the blonde had already removed her soaked panties and that the lips on her nipple had been replaced by gentle thumbs drawing circles on them and were traveling southward to the red triangular patch of curls. Blue eyes met green, checking for any hint of hesitation and finding none. Only then Tara proceeded to bury herself in the center of Willow’s heat in front of her, feeling her own moisture starting to gather between her thighs.

Willow was lost in all things Tara. She could feel the fire inside her building and threatening to ignite her whole being any minute now. Trying with all her might to regain composture she pulled herself away from the blonde and sat up, noting the confused and shocked look on her eyes.

“Shhh…” was all the only sound that could come out of her mouth and with that she began undressing the blonde, taking the time to absorb the well known smell of her lovers arousal mixed with vanilla and just a touch of cinnamon.

After contemplating Tara’s naked form in front of her for a few seconds and still unable to speak, the redhead pulled Tara beside her on the bed and kissed her with all she had. She grabbed the blonde’s trembling hand and slowly moved it till it rested on top of her red curls. Then she moved her own hand to cup the blonde’s mound, mesmerized by the wetness she found in there. Diving as softly as they could, both hands started a rhythm on their own. Blue never leaving green. Passion and lust taking over. Hips joining hands in a dance of perfect synchronicity.

_____________________________________________


Part Four


Willow could feel it coming. They were riding together to the point of no return, and as she saw Tara fighting the need to close her eyes she smiled. She didn’t remember the last time she felt her lips curl up in a simple smile, but being here with her soulmate and breathing the same air made her the happiest woman alive. That was something she never thought would happen again.

Tara could feel herself suffocating, her breathing becoming erratic and shallow. She was also aware of the sweat covering her body and mingling with Willow’s wherever their skin touched. She could feel the redhead trembling and her own senses heightening…she could smell a hundred different scents as her hands looked at Willow from up close. Her hands could see Willow, could feel her from every imaginable angle.

She felt their bodies exploding in an encounter that would never be the same again. Exploding and shaking, feelings perspiring from their arms giving way to the melodious grazing of contracted muscles against fingers.

A quiet moan escaped Willow’s throat and Tara couldn’t help kissing her. They were a minute away from the cliff and running out of air. They began to slow down together, trying to delay their falling for as long as they could. Half a minute…

Cobalt blue searched for olive green once more. The look in Willow’s eyes was a strange mix of submission and panic. Tara’s gaze meant to contain the redhead’s soul, to convey to her that everything was alright, that it was safe for her to let go. Fifteen seconds…

She felt she was about to die, then felt Willow about to die in her arms. They weren’t able to look at each other anymore, their closed eyes and arched backs marked the fall…there was no turning back now. Five. Four. Three. Two. One…

The descent was soft and the landing, gentle. Both girls began to open her eyes ever so slowly. The world had stopped and all the birds in the planet had remained respectfully silent for a second.

No words were spoken and shy cuddles tried to bring them back from their altered state of mind. After some time, she really didn’t know how long, Tara felt the redhead’s breathing become steadier and she opened her own eyes to look at the sleeping beauty in her arms. Poor Willow, she thought…the redhead looked exhausted and even more fragile, but she couldn’t help smiling when she saw the content and peaceful grin spread across the sleeping face.

She couldn’t sleep. Suddenly she looked out the open curtains and saw it was dark. She hadn’t heard movement in the house and it intrigued her that neither Dawn nor Buffy had come home yet.

The thought froze her spine. She had no idea how she would explain the scattered clothes and herself –naked- in Willow’s bed. Eight times she had to fight the impulse to run away from the redhead, and only the certainty that it would have destroyed Willow kept her from giving up to her weakness. She couldn’t do it…after all she had been the one to practically drag them both here and start this.

All her life Tara had felt like she was running from something. Maybe not physically, but her soul had always been running away. From her father’s disapproving looks when she came home from casting with her mother, from the threatening raised hand of her brother back in the farm after their mother had died, from her supposedly demonic heritage, from the betrayal of her soulmate…

And she was still running.

Mostly from the hurt, but also from the chance of getting hurt again, from the chance of letting Willow hurt her again. She felt the familiar sting of anger building in the pit of her stomach, and the pain coursed through her and flowed in form of salty water trailing down her face and hot breath coming from her clenched teeth.

She knew then that she’d made a huge mistake. She wasn’t ready to forgive Willow yet and she’d have to tell her that. The thought made her panic. How was she going to do that without killing any feeling Willow might still hold for her in the process? She didn’t know if they even had a future together, but she hoped that at least they could see each other and be able to remember the good things they had had.

Now the chances were that she was burying all of it forever.

TBC...

Wow this story is amazing, I love it.
It's really great, but it's so sad poor Willow, Tara is going to break her heart again. And poor Tara too she's confused and doesn't know how she's going to tell Willow how she feel.
I'm looking foward to read more, please update soon.

_________________
*Will*

It only take a minute to see that someone is special an hour to appreciate and a day to love that person. But it take forever to forget.

I knew they were gonna end up 'taking the easy way out' and sleeping with each other. Might have seemed neccessary at the moment to try and heal their souls but I also knew that Tara would beat herself up about this
I agree that the idea Willow's addiction wasnt the greatest idea the BTVS writers had... it worked for them cuz they didnt need a happy end after all.
I think it's good that you're writing their reconciliation like this and that the Tara-withdrawals are the main reason for Willow being miserable. The turn of events definitely wont keep me from reading, I got only more intrigued!

_________________
"I don't get your crazy system!"
"System? It's called the alphabet!"

This is a brilliant fic.

I really hope that Tara does reconcile with Willow. Willow needs Tara, and they both obviously can't stay away from each other.

This was wonderful - I don't know what to say!

More please.

Caz

_________________
"Gosh, look at those!" Willow - Doppelgangland

"I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!" Willow - Doppelgangland

Hi there

Yeah, you were right it went in a completely different direction than I had thought it would... But that's why it's your story and not mine And I still think it's a great fic

I feel really sorry for Willow. Nothing like going into something thinking that it's one thing and then turning out that the other person doesn't exactly feel the same way you do... Then again W/T didn't exactly make promises to each other so maybe Willow knows exactly what they sleeping together meant and isn't going to have her heart broken in the morning. After all if nothing else what happened means that Tara isn't over her, the passion is still there.

I also feel sorry for Tara. Things must be looking pretty bad from her point of view. Trying to get back with Willow without being ready to do it can mean that she blew her chance to ever, well... getting back with Willow.

Well, you promised angst and you're starting to deliver it.
I'll write "chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate" on my next grocery list

I'm still really curious to know what the "light thing" meant. Please keep on writing

_________________

"I think love should be irresistable, like a drug. When it happens you just can't help yourself." Amy to Lucy in D.E.B.S.

Hola, Gatitos!!

Um...this is not an update. Just feedback replies for the last two parts. Here it goes:


Will: Yes, Tara is going to break her heart again but this is Pens…so you can rest assured there’ll be a happy ending. Thanks for reading.


Willowrulez: Hey there! I’m happy you got intrigued, hehe. You’re right, Tara did beat herself up about the way she handled things. And now comes the time when you must accept the consequences for your actions. Buckle up, this may be a bumpy road. Thanks for reading!



A willow angel: I’m really glad you’re liking this. And yes, Willow and Tara need each other but don’t we all make mistakes every now and then? Thanks.


Caz: Thank you very much! I’m really happy you liked it. More soon, I promise.


Sabina: Hola! I totally agree with you. Willow’s little heart will surely be broken, even if they didn’t make any promises. And knowing Tara, she’ll never forgive herself. The passion is still there, that’s for sure (how could it not?). Let’s just hope it stays there. Thanks for your kind words.


Umm...Update. If I have time I'll post tonight. If not, tomorrow night. Thanks for being patient.


Karinna.

_________________
Old Fire
Palme d'Or

This is a short one. Sorry but I haven’t had much time to write…real life gets in the way sometimes.

I promise a longer update next time.

K.

___________________________________________

All disclaimers apply...
___________________________________________



Previously…


She knew then that she’d made a huge mistake. She wasn’t ready to forgive Willow yet and she’d have to tell her that. The thought made her panic. How was she going to do that without killing any feeling Willow might still hold for her in the process? She didn’t know if they even had a future together, but she hoped that at least they could see each other and be able to remember the good things they had once shared.

Now the chances were that she was burying all of it forever.

____________________________________________


Part Five



What to do now?

What do I do now??

The questions kept banging in her head, hitting her ears until she couldn’t ignore them anymore.

“Momma, what do I do now?” Tara closed her eyes and tried to focus on the memory of her mom’s blue eyes, trying to find the peace that she always got from them. She could feel her mother’s energy flowing through her, soothing her.

“Seems like I’m at a dead end here, Mom. If I leave I hurt Willow and she may never want to see me again. If I stay and take her back, I know the resentment I still feel inside will eventually show and annihilate anything that’s left between us”. Tears trailed down her cheeks once again.

“I’m so lost, momma. I never thought it could be this hard”

“Tara, baby girl, love is never easy” A voice within her said. “And it’s OK to be confused. Just be honest with yourself and don’t do anything you’re not sure of.”

“But momma…”

“You’ll be fine, sweetie.”

Tara closed her eyes. She smelled Willow’s sweet skin one more time before getting out of bed and putting her clothes back on. Then she knelt beside the bed and caressed the soft tresses of hair that were covering Willow’s sweaty forehead. She touched the warm, delicate skin of her chin one last time. She faltered for a moment, certain that she would never have this privilege again; that the redhead would never understand or forgive her for this. Still, there was nothing she could do now, she needed to do this… she needed to go.

Tara walked down the stairs slowly, allowing herself a minute or two to take in the essence of the house she shared so much in. Finally regaining her composure, Tara left the house and headed to her place without looking back.


______________________________________________


Part Six


Nine years later…


“Xander, I’ve told you 3 times already…No! I can’t make it. I have to work a 36-hour shift starting Monday!”

“36 hours, Will? Trying to kill yourself?” He winced regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.

Silence…

“No, Xander. But I’m the newbie in the Department, so if they ask me to work over-time, I have to do it! I have to work hard to earn their trust and, I could use the money, you know that…”

“Yeah, mortgage. You knew about it when you decided to live in Beverly Hills, so you can’t really complain. What was wrong with Cleveland, anyway? Besides, you’re a big shot doctor now, you can afford it!”

“Xander!!!” Willow exclaimed, with all the mock indignation she could muster. “I thought you liked having me back in California! I leave for a few years and you stop caring about me...” she said, faking a sob.

“A few years, Will? You spent 3 years in Ohio for your residency program, not to mention the 4 years of Med School in Baltimore…” He pointed out.

“You’re still mad at me for not going back to Sunnydale, aren’t you?” Her tone serious now.

“What? No, Will. Of course not"

Silence...

"Well... I miss you Will, you're my best friend. I'm sorry" His voice barely a guilty whisper.

"Xander, I miss you too" The redhead sighed heavily. “But you know I can’t go back there, too much water under that bridge".

Again, a heavy silence filled the line.

"Besides, who would turn down the Cedars-Sinai’s offer? At least we’re in the same state now” Willow said trying to cheer her childhood friend up.

“Ok, ok. Sorry. I know this is a great opportunity for you. I just wish we could all spend more time together”

“I do too, and we will…eventually. Oops…I gotta go, Xander. Please give Buffy a hug, I’ll call you later” She was startled by the sound of the vibrating pager against the desk that reminded her to attend a meeting in the physicians’ lounge.


TBC...

Hi

Ah... You surprised me again. I guess I can forget making a career in fortune telling, lol.

So Tara did decide to leave... Wise choice although I think she deserves a little slap on the wrist for doing it before Willow was awake and she could talk to her. Maybe Tara could have explained things and left Willow with some measure of hope. Then again considering the whole situation that's easier said than done.

They did not see each other for nine years? That's a long time.
Willow left Sunnydale (apparently to never return) and became a doctor... I wonder what Tara did with her life.

I'll be eagerly waiting for your next update May real life give you a breal to write real soon

_________________

"I think love should be irresistable, like a drug. When it happens you just can't help yourself." Amy to Lucy in D.E.B.S.

this is good please more and soon a longer update also please..

Holy angst buckets! NINE years?!?! Oh dear. The reunion is not going to go smoothly, methinks. I can't wait!

I gotta say I'm a little miffed at Tara so far. I don't think she meant to hurt Willow when she slept with her, and I do understand her second thoughts and need to back off, but she couldn't have left a freakin' note? *sigh* From Xander's foot-in-mouth moment I take it Willow didn't take it well, but I like that she's turned around and done something positive, even if she is working too hard. Hmm...drowning herself in work to avoid having a personal life?

Anyhoo, I love what you've done so far, and look forward to more.
-Cameron

_________________

Wow, nine years??? That makes them almost thirty, right? So weird, it is so difficult to change the picture in my mind of WT, trying to adjust to an older age than 21. You could say I should just envision Amber and Aly the way the look now but for some reason my mind refuses to do that! My problem i guess
Please update soon! Gotta find out what Tara is doing now!

_________________
"I don't get your crazy system!"
"System? It's called the alphabet!"

I'm going to say like everybody else ...NINE years!!!...my god what happen, and willow is a doctor now...wow...ok, really good update I wasn't expecting this at all.
Please update soon i can't wait to read what will happen next.

_________________
*Will*

It only take a minute to see that someone is special an hour to appreciate and a day to love that person. But it take forever to forget.

I can't believe Tara would just leave without even a note or any explaination. And, as every other fb has said, 9 years? That is a very long time to stay away. I can't believe it would take 9 years to forgive the love of your life. I can see after a year or two of complete avoidance being too nervous to start a friendship back up but seriously, 9 years? Wow, and now Will is killing herself with 36 hour shifts as a doctor. Nothing like burying your disappointment. I can't wait to find out what Tara's been up to now that we know Willow has been studying and avoiding friends. Great crazy update!

_________________
Willow: "Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off."

Tara left - what a horrible thing to do. I get the impression that she's gonna have to see a Doctor soon. Paging Doctor Rosenberg!

Caz

_________________
"Gosh, look at those!" Willow - Doppelgangland

"I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!" Willow - Doppelgangland

I am totally with Caz...Dr. Rosenberg? Paging the sexy redhead! I love this story Please continue with it!

_________________
"Oh yeah?! Well...so's your face!
-Fear Itself

well now the things between them are equals, one for willo andone for tara, tara was hurt and willow was hurt badly, maybe willow can think that tara did that for revenge, well things are great now in a bad way.

I hope you can update soon now, a good position in ife for willow and a good posiion in life for tara too,

maybe now they can face eachother.

see you soon

mag

_________________
LOVE STORY

Hello, kittens!!

Here are the feedback replies from parts 5 & 6. I really have very little time to write between work and my upcoming commitment ceremony so bear with me. Besides, I did promise a longer update...and I have every intention to keep that promise.


_______________________________________________



Sabina: I agree with you, the ideal situation would have been one where Tara waited for Willow to wake up and explained things to her. But we don’t live in an ideal world, do we? And Tara basically freaked out. And I’m sure she did regret it later and tried to make things right…but we’ll get to that part later , I promise. Real life is giving me no breaks, the opposite actually. But thank you so much for hanging in there.


Dianneswillowtree: I’m glad you liked it. Thanks.


Cameron: Wow! I am a huge fan of your stories! Yay!! Ok, calming down now. I’m really glad you’re interested in this story…with that said, I guess I could probably say that this is going to be a complicated story to write, there’s a 9-years gap that needs to be filled and right now I’m trying to give you all some snapshots and threading them together without driving myself crazy (there are a lot of snapshots under my sleeve, hehe…*evil grin*) Hopefully I’ll be able to give you a good view of what’s happened in the past 9 years, while trying to explain what’s happening in the present. Thanks for your kind words.


WillowRulez: That’s a nice image...I guess my mind battles against it as well…but it’s really not as hard to picture Willow in scrubs as much as it is to picture Tara in her university professor outfits (ok, that was a spoiler, hehe)…umm…yummy… Uh, sorry. Got a little distracted. You’ll get a glimpse of Tara’s present life in the next update, I promise. Thanks for your continuous support.


Will: Welcome aboard! Well…yeah, nine years is a long time and an awful lot has happened in it. Willow is a doctor, an anesthesiologist to be precise, and she recently moved to LA from Cleveland. I hope you like what’s coming next. Thanks.


Guppy: Thanks for the fb and for your interest in this story. Yes, 9 years. I hope the following updates explain thoroughly why it has been 9 years. I will try to meet your expectations. Thanks again.


Caz: Lol!! I totally agree with you on that one…we’ll see!! Thanks.


Willow Watcher: Thanks for the kind words. I’m really happy you’re liking this.


mag: are you from Ecuador? Where in Ecuador? I’m from Chile. Ok, back to matters at hand. Um…I really didn’t mean to write Tara leaving Willow as a form of revenge, actually it never crossed my mind, and I’m pretty sure the thought never crossed Tara’s mind. They loved each other. Heck, they will always love each other and they’d never intentionally hurt each other. It’s just that sometimes life and emotions and our own weaknesses get in the way and things don’t turn out they way they should. They will face each other, rather soon. Thanks for reading!!


Karinna

_________________
Old Fire
Palme d'Or

Hi, dear kittens!!

I come baring an update. I know I promised a longer update and, well, this is longer than the last one without being long per se. Um...I think the ending qualifies as cliffhanger though. Hope you enjoy!

Again, thanks to the lovely kittens who took the time to leave feedback. I really appreciate it and can't begin to tell you how happy it makes me. Thanks!

Karinna.

_________________________________________


Author’s Notes: See first post. Thoughts in italics.

__________________________________________


Part Seven


“Cholelithiasis, or gallstone disease, is one of the most common surgical problems worldwide, Ms. Anderson. Up to 20% of adults in the United States may have gallstones, yet only 1-3% develop symptoms. As the stones mix with liquid bile, they can block the outflow of bile from the gallbladder. They can also block outflow of digestive enzymes from the pancreas. That’s why it’s important that we remove your gallbladder soon, before there’s any chance of complication. Do you understand, Ms. Anderson?” Dr. Kabalan waited for the blonde to answer while putting the ultrasound on his desk, though it was pretty clear that his patient was caught up in thought.

“Ms. Anderson?”

The blonde looked up startled. She had changed her last name a few years ago and still wasn’t used to being called Anderson. It was in moments like these that she asked herself if it had been the right thing to do.

And it had been, or so she had thought. She had done it basically for two reasons: Mostly to put behind her past and her family after her father had died but also to prevent being found by a certain quirky redhead (if she ever tried to find her). Did the redhead ever try to find her? Apparently not, from what Dawn had informed her the last time she had tried to get in touch. Honestly, why would she after what Tara had done?

“Willow…” she whispered quietly, her voice full of emptiness.

“Um…Ms. Anderson? Tara?” The surgeon touched his patient’s forearm to catch her attention. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, D-doctor…Sorry, I k-kinda spaced o-out” The blonde replied, embarrassed.

“No problem, Tara. So is it ok if we schedule the cholecistectomy for next Tuesday?”

“T-the w-what?” The blonde asked in surprise.

“The surgery. Laparoscopic removal of the gallbladder. This procedure is performed under general anesthesia. It causes less pain than open surgery, is less likely to cause complications, and has a faster recovery time. If everything goes according to plan you should be home by Wednesday evening”

“Oh, that’s f-fas-st. Tuesday is fine.” Tara said, smiling.

“Ok, then. You’ll be admitted at 5pm on Monday for the final checkup and you’ll meet your anesthesiologist, Dr. Steinham, then. I’ve already gone through your case record with her and since your lab work shows no abnormalities, there shouldn’t be a problem. Just enjoy your weekend and I’ll see you on Monday.” The Doctor said, extending his hand to the blonde.

“Thanks, Doctor. I’l-l see you t-then.” The blonde gave the surgeon one last smile before heading out the office towards the elevator.

Once in her car she thought about her current health condition. She started suffering from episodes of abdominal pain a year and a half ago but didn’t pay much attention to it until 2 weeks ago when the pain began to hit her more and more frequently. A visit to the Emergency Department three nights ago, when she hadn’t been able to stand the pain and vomiting, had provided her with a diagnosis: gallstones. Fortunately, there was no need for emergency surgery so she was appointed a date with a surgeon today to plan the procedure.

Back in her apartment, the blonde was greeted by the blue eyes and the purring sounds of her Siamese cat, Gipsy. She picked the kitten up and rubbed her nose against her neck, softly putting her down.

“What did you do today, Gipsy? Anything interesting to tell your mommy?” Tara asked, her eyes roaming around the apartment before setting on a couple of her brushes that had been chewed to splinters.

“Did you do that, missy?” She asked firmly, unable to smile as the kitten hid under the couch.

Slowly, Tara picked up her former brushes and walked to her studio. When she checked that nothing had been disturbed she threw the brushes in the trash can. It had been her fault. After all, she had left the door to the studio open.

She went back to the kitchen to make some tea. After a few minutes she sat on the couch, steamy mug in hand, and noticed the wooden frame on the coffee table that held a 4’’ x 6’’ picture of a small black & white kitten, a much younger Tara and a beautiful smiling redhead.

The picture was her most precious possession. It was the only thing that physically connected her to the only woman she had ever been in love with and longed desperately to feel again. It was all she had left of the person she had cowardly abandoned a lifetime ago. Tara grimaced as a wave of guilt swept over her.

She couldn’t afford to think about Willow now. Firstly because of the pain she felt whenever she allowed herself to think about her former lover. Every time she thought of Willow, feelings of guilt and worthlessness invaded her soul. Secondly, because she had no right to know how the redhead was anymore. She had given up on that right nine years ago. So she would deal the best way she could, and she would carry on with her life as Tara Anderson, M. F. A., and Advanced Drawing teacher at UCLA. That was enough, she kept telling herself. That she could control.


**********************************


Part Eight


It had been a busy Tuesday morning so far, the redhead thought as she went through the file in front of her. She grabbed her coffee mug and took a sip without looking, almost spilling it over the pages as she felt the hot liquid burn her tongue.

“Damn!” She stood quickly, barely avoiding a scorched lap. The dark circles under her eyes matched the heaviness of her eyelids… she was tired, and she still had a few surgeries to go. The initial plan was a 36-hour shift to cover for her boss while he attended a symposium in Belgium. In what could only be considered a severe case of Murphy’s Law, her colleague Dr. Steinham had decided to go jogging this morning, ending up with a sprained ankle. Of course nobody else could fill in for her, so Willow would be covering for her surgeries.

Her mind took her back to eight years ago, when she decided to study Medicine. She had vowed to stay as far away from anything remotely related to magic as she could, deciding instead to confront the mysteries of the universe with science. So she went away. Away from Sunnydale, away from the Hellmouth, away from her memories, and to John Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore. In her third year of med school she realized that no matter how hard she tried, there were always going to be things that would not be explained by pure 2+2=4 science; that Medicine was more of an art form that based itself in science than anything else. The similarities between medicine and magic were not lost on Willow and that frustrated her.

It wasn’t that she made a wrong career choice. In fact, it was perfect. It kept her as busy as she so desperately needed to be, it was challenging and her parents were thrilled about the idea. Plus she realized along the way that she really liked it and that she was really good at it.

She built her world around her career, so it didn’t really take anyone by surprise when she decided to apply for the Anesthesiology residence program at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. Xander was particularly disappointed, he was convinced that she would go back to Sunnydale after graduation. But she knew better… and better meant that she could never settle down there. An occasional visit to her family and friends on special occasions she could handle, but she needed to stay as far away from Sunnydale memories as she could.

The beeping sound of her LifeDrive startled her. She touched the screen to synchronize her device with the surgical schedule for the day.

“Anderson, Tara. Female. 29. No relevant medical history. Cholelithiasis. Laparoscopic cholecistectomy, checked.” She grabbed the phone and dialed “Jason, hi. It’s Dr. Rosenberg. We have a lap cholecistectomy in …30 minutes” she checked the clock on the wall “Anderson, yeah. Please call surgery and have her ready. Page Dr. Kabalan and the R2. No, I haven’t seen the patient yet. She’s one of Dr. Steinham’s but she already had the pre-op visit and everything’s clear. Ok. I need 15 minutes with her before the surgeons arrive. I’m on my way, get me the usual. Thanks.”

Willow reached OR #5 after a few minutes. She already had her footwear and cap on and was finishing with her face mask when she saw her patient being wheeled in. She proceeded to check the drugs she would use and then approached her patient while distractedly taking some notes in her file.

“Good morning, Miss Anderson. As you’ve been informed, Dr. Steinham had a little accident and will not be your anesthesiologist today.”

“I’ve b-been inf-formed, Doctor. I hope she g-gets better s-soon” The blonde said, turning her head to address the redhead.

The unmistakable sweet voice reached Dr. Rosenberg’s ears just as she had turned to face her patient. Time seemed to grind to a stop as the file in her hands fell to the floor hitting it with a soft, dull thud.

Wide green eyes stumbled upon curious blue ones…

‘Tara??’ The name echoed in her confused mind…


TBC...
_____________________________________

Ok. That wasn't so bad, was it? Please don't hate me!

Wasnt so bad? It was pretty awesome!
Haha, as soon as I read UCLA I knew for sure that Willow would be Tara's doc. If I would be Tara I'd start worrying... kidding! She knows Willow would never hurt her hehe.
And you have a point with it's easy picturing Willow in scrubs ('Scrubs' haha, not the show... though I can picture her there too) and Tara in her prof stuff. But I meant more facial features, hair and so on. Well, I am just imagining them S6ish.
Update soon please!!

_________________
"I don't get your crazy system!"
"System? It's called the alphabet!"

awesome story just read it all up to here.. keep writing. i think its awesome how its been 9yrs.. got to say that im lovin this story

_________________
Church: I didn't want to mess with the timeline.
Caboose: Time...line?
Caboose:*sighs*Time isn't made of lines! It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round