etudes

[binky]

This chapter will close out season 5, Plenty of Magic. In my grand scheme of things, after Cups (the anniversary chapter), Homo Triste (the post-brain-suck vignette) follows, then this chapter, which is set during the summer hiatus between season 5 and 6. Buffy died about a month ago. They're still sorting the aftermath out.

5.6.X – Happy Birthday – posted a few weeks ago
5.10.X – Escalating Apparatus – posted last August
5.15.X – Cups – posted a few weeks ago
5.19.X – Homo Triste – posted last August
5.22.X – REQUIEM AND RETURN – THIS CHAPTER

You can go to my website if you want to re-read the older vignettes/scene-studies and you don’t want to browse through the previous posts of this thread to find one. CLICK HERE.

Notes/Disclaimers for R and R:
- I wouldn’t even be posting this if it hadn’t been beta’d so thank you Amy and Trom for that favor.
- Story is rated NC17 for sex.
- Summary: W/T are on the last day of a Phoenix vacation before returning to Sunnydale to officially move into Buffy’s house to take care of Dawn.

binky

[binky]

Fanfic based on Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Tara and Willow are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I am not making nor will I accept any money from this fiction. All hail Joss!

Title: Requiem and Return
Author: binky
Genre: behind the scenes
Rating: AO (Adults Only), for explicit sexual situations
Setting/background: A bed-and-breakfast in Phoenix, Arizona. A late July day between season 5 and season 6.
Summary: Tara and Willow make plans following Buffy’s death.
Spoilers: up to and including "The Gift"
Acknowledgements: Beta-ed by Trom and Amy. Thank you both.
Notes: Emphasis in italics. Strong emphasis/raised voice in ALLCAPS.
Feedback: “Yes!... Yes!!... Yes!!!... YES!”



REQUIEM AND RETURN
5.22.x

“Tara, did you pack my yellow sweater in your suitcase?”

Tara looked up from her duffel bag where she had just stuffed Willow’s baggied toothbrush and paste in next to their matching dark blue bath towels. Her girlfriend was conversely emptying out the contents of her luggage back onto the queen-sized bed of the room they’d rented for their week-long stay in Phoenix. This was their last day, and checkout from the bed-and-breakfast was in thirty-five minutes. “No, sweetie. Check the drawers again. I think I left it in the top drawer on the right.”

Willow did so as Tara began returning her clothes to her bag. It was early afternoon in the late July day and the sun was high in a cloudless sky. The air was almost sharp in their mouths. The window was open, but no desert breeze blew in to their second-storey room. Sure enough, the yellow button-up sweater with embroidered red and blue flowers was in the otherwise empty top drawer as Tara had suggested. Tara had set it aside for her for the trip home. Willow picked it up but almost dropped it as a feeling of déjà vu filled her. Hadn’t she done something similar recently?

Yes. The day after Joyce had died.

Tara turned and saw Willow sitting on the edge of the bed, looking pensively down at the garment on her lap. After several moments, Willow set the sweater aside and started stuffing her clothes back into her case. Tara turned back to her own packing.

“Oh, fuck.”

Tara turned just in time to see Willow abruptly stop her packing once more, this time to dive across the bed for her laptop case. She sat up on the edge of the bed, the case in her lap. With shaking hands, she pulled the zipper open and began setting up her Powerbook.

“Baby, what are you—?”

“I’m sorry, Tara, I just remembered, I forgot to call the housing office and cancel our double before we left. I could have sworn I wrote it down on my first list of stuff to do, but I must’ve missed it when I was transcribing it onto my travel list. God, I’m so stupid…”

Tara watched, her stomach sinking, as Willow attached her modem line, her hands beginning to tremble so badly she struggled to make the connection. Tara put down the garments she had been packing, and quietly maneuvered next to Willow on the bed as she finally got the cord sorted and pressed the power button. Willow bit her bottom lip as she waited impatiently for the machine to boot.

“Do you remember what the deadline was for changing the option? I can’t remember. I think it’s the end of the month, so maybe we still have some time to switch you back to a single without a fee.” Willow sniffled and hastily rubbed her eyes. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Will…” Tara said softly. She put her arm around Willow’s shoulders, which also had begun to shake. “Willow, baby…”

“It-It’ll just take a second… I just need to find the number again.” She brought up a web browser. Her fingers drummed on the case just under the spacebar as the UC Sunnydale homepage loaded slowly. “I-I should have called after we decided we couldn’t… not after…”

“Sweetie…”

“But it was Saturday, and no one was at the office. Then after I just forgot… Stupid!”

“I-I’m sure it’ll be alright, Willow. W-We just need to explain that—” that she died, and it changed everything. Tara cleared her throat. “—you need to stay with Dawn, instead…” instead of with me. Tara immediately scolded herself for being so selfish.

She was still having nightmares. They were less frequent now, and not as intense. Not nearly as bad as the ones she had just after that awful night when Willow brought her back from her personal hell and the present one they all shared began. But she was still having them. They were of different things, various scenarios. The last one was a fairly common one. Doctors had cut her skull open and extracted her brain. It was local anesthesia, so she could watch, numb but aware, as she had been for the weeks she had been insane. As it lay in the surgical pan, she could see that the ridges and valleys forming the surfaces of the organ were made not by the wrinkles of tissue to expand the surface area of her mentality, but by fat, pale worms, writhing sickly in oozing pale ichor. The surgeon was cutting away at the rotting tissue. Even behind his mask, she could tell his face was screwed up at the odor the mass was exuding. He first halved the quivering ball of grey matter. Then halved one half again. It was not enough, however, and the remaining quarter was reduced to an eighth. Still, diseased tissue remained, and it was halved again. The scalpel flashed. And again. And again…

But Tara knew that these dreams were nothing compared to Dawn’s. She didn’t complain. When her own whimpers were enough to wake Willow the nights following the disaster at Lunatics’ Tower, her lover would wake her and hold her until her trembling stopped. But more often than not, these days, it was Dawn’s cries that would wake either or both of them and send them to the younger girl’s room to check on her. She wondered how Giles was doing with the Dawn-vigil duties. He had sounded tired when they had called yesterday, relief at their impending return evident in his voice.

“Damnit! Why the frilly heck do they put all this crap no one gives a damn about on the front page like this? Whoever designed this web page needs to be taken out and shot! Or forced to sit through all these lame animations all day long. Look at all this!”

“Will…”

“Sorry. It’s just… frustrating.”

“I know it is, Willow.”

Willow navigated the pages without another word. She maneuvered through the site, clicking the appropriate links in search of the housing office’s contacts page. They waited in silence as the page they needed finally came up. Willow wrote down the phone number on the stationary provided by the inn. Then she saw the notice of office hours during the summertime. “What the—How the hell can they be closed on Fridays?”

“Willow, it’s alright, come on, honey. Don’t get mad…” Tara grabbed hold of Willow’s hand before her flustered girlfriend could slam her notebook shut, possibly damaging it and causing herself more grief. “We’ll call them the first thing Monday, okay?”

Willow relented, knowing she was behaving childishly. It was her own fault, anyway. She took a cleansing breath and let Tara take her precious computer from her hands and place it behind them on the bed. She would wait until Monday. If worse came to worst and the deadline had passed, she could always find a spell or hack into the university’s records to fix it. She tore the note from the pad and stuffed the phone number into her jeans pocket.

Tara turned back to Willow, brushed her bangs behind her ear. “Your hair’s getting long again,” she murmured. “It keeps falling in your face.”

“I-I know, I’ve got to get it cut.”

Tara ran her hand down the back of Willow’s head to her neck. “Or you could let it grow out. It looks good longer.”

“I don’t know. It hasn’t been long since I was in high school. I don’t think I ever want to go back there again.” She pulled herself away from Tara, feeling guilty once more.

Tara flinched as Willow turned. Stupid, stupid cow. She’s barely touched you all week, what makes you think she’ll want to do something more now, with everything happening, right before we have to leave and go back, and her all tense and worried?

Willow retrieved her case and started repacking her laptop wordlessly.

She probably didn’t even know what you were doing. She’s used to doing all the work initiating things that way, too… Great, Tara. Real smooth. Play with her hair…

Willow was still re-bundling the cord when she started to talk, softly. “Sometimes… I wonder… what happened to her soul? I know we buried her body and had the services for her. But holding them in secret, with hardly anyone there… I mean, how many people did she save? And none of them know? Something didn’t feel right. It still doesn’t. Like maybe it’s not really finished? What if she’s… Maybe she’s in a hell dimension somewhere, like where Angel went? Do you think that’s possible? What if… what if it’s not over for her? I mean, why wasn’t another slayer called, unless it’s because she’s not really gone? Maybe she’s still out there, trapped, in some kind of hell, in pain, wondering why I haven’t come to get her? If only I hadn’t—I mean, I could’ve…”

Without a thought, Tara switched modes. “Willow, Willow, Will, baby, honey, sweetheart, what else could you have done? There wasn’t anything more—”

“Don’t say that, Tara! There were lots of other things I could’ve done! I could’ve gotten Spike up there faster! So that freak couldn’t have cut Dawn and started it all! So she wouldn’t have needed to… I could’ve teleported him the way I did—”

“Will—”

“If I hadn’t been too weak…” Willow stopped, realizing where that train of thought led. She bit her lip, looked away from Tara to hide her face so she wouldn’t slip and let her secret out. She knew, deep inside, that she would do it again. Even knowing what would come. She would do it all the same way again. She was ashamed at being so selfish.

But Tara was already on that train. It had pulled out of the station, taking her away from Willow. Because you’d used up too much to get me back. You feel guilty, regretful. It’s why you need to stay in her house and take care of Dawn. Why we can’t begin our life together just yet. So you can live her life. Make it up to her. I understand.

Willow could feel Tara shrinking from her, though her body was still there beside her. The feeling was acute—Tara’s absence. She panicked and turned. Tara was crying quietly, and she realized what had just happened. “Goddess. I’m stupid.”

Tara looked at her quickly. She was sad and confused and became angry at Willow berating herself, all at once. The tears on her face became hot. “You are not stupid, Willow!”

“I am. I’m the stupidest smart person in the whole world. Probably would be on a whole lot of other ones, too.”

“Willow, stop saying those things!”

“I’m a dummy. An idiot. You know what I mean, Tara? A complete and utter maroon—not the color. The Bugs Bunny kind. A nimrod—not the ancient Mesopotamian king who founded the Assyrian capital Nineveh. But a true dumb bunny with a genius IQ. Do you get what I’m trying to say, baby?”

Willow’s voice had grown softer and softer with each slur.

Tara wiped at her eyes. Willow was smiling sadly. “You’re a m-moron?”

“A real spaz.”

“A-A social retard?”

“That would be me.” Willow placed her hands on Tara’s shoulders and turned her lover to her. She pulled Tara close, lifting herself a bit to meet her, reckoned the angles, and moved in to kiss her. They did, for a few moments, their lips just rubbing against each other, slightly parted, occasionally puckering to vary or prolong the contact. They slid backward back onto the bed, Tara underneath. Willow pulled back a little, rubbed at the tears still on Tara’s cheeks. Tara sniffled. Her face was still a little splotchy, her nose red and her normally clear blue eyes clouded, tired and puffy. “You’re beautiful, Tara,” Willow said. She dipped down to kiss the tip of Tara’s nose. “It’s not every day a beautiful woman offers herself to me.”

She knew. “I-I w-would hope not.”

“Only a complete idiot would say no.”

“O-or someone w-with important things to do.”

“There’s nothing more important.”

“Dawn… Taking care of Dawn.”

“Okay, yeah, pretty important. But not any more important.” Willow closed her eyes, licking her lips. “I wish we could have babies together.”

Tara’s breath hitched.

Willow’s eyes opened. They were a very dark green. “But the motions are still very worth going through, anyway.” She pushed her hips forward slightly, into Tara’s. “So… do you still wanna…?”

Tara’s breathing had become heavy. Willow’s thrust had made her hot and damp and achy under her skirt, between her legs. She couldn’t stop the moan that rose from her throat.

Willow took it as tacit permission to press her lips against Tara’s throat. She kissed and licked her way down, feeling Tara swallow against her lips on her way to the V of Tara’s collarbone. Another moan, this one against the tip of her tongue. Willow felt like growling, Tara’s moans were so sexy. She reached between them to fumble with the fly of her jeans but had trouble with the fastener. Great! Why do I always have to be wearing jeans when…? Oh… travel day… Shit.

Tara remembered, too. “Willow… I… I don’t know if w-we have enough time…” She managed to will her hand from the skin at the small of Willow’s back where it had snaked under Willow’s blouse to bring her wrist close to her face. “Checkout is in fifteen m-minutes…” Stupid watch. It has to be running fast. Even five minutes fast. Please be fast!

I can be fast! “I can be fast!” Willow had gotten her zipper down and was working on hitching Tara’s skirt up enough to get to her lover’s panties. “Uh, normally, that’s not something I would brag about, but we might have even less time when we get back to Sunnydale, and I get the feeling it’ll be a long drive back if we don’t get this done first. I mean, I guess we could go check out now and use the back seat of Xander’s car before we hit the road. I’m sure he and Anya have done worse stuff in it, but there’s something really disturbing about what I just said, and to be honest I don’t know if I can even last that long anyway, y’know?”

Tara knew. Oh Goddess, she knew. She was already pretty close herself, what with Willow fumbling around with her panties and hips underneath her skirt. Her own hands had found the waistband of Willow’s jeans and underwear and had managed to work the clothing down past the swells of Willow’s buttocks, to the top of her girlfriend’s thighs. At least she’s wearing soft denim… A little easier to work with. They both had begun to breathe heavily. “N-No, I understand. All… All kinds of… motions are valid, depending on the situation… Oh Goddess!” Willow’s hand was in her panties, caressing between her legs. She spread her thighs wider to give Willow as much room as the confines of her skirt allowed.

“Oh God, Tara, you’re so wet.” Willow had no trouble easing two fingers into her lover. She started a gentle rhythm, rubbing Tara’s slippery clit with her thumb. “Did you come already? Oh. Never mind.”

Tara clamped down on Willow’s fingers as her back arched, pushing her breasts, still discreetly covered and demure behind the cotton fabric of her pullover sweater, into Willow’s face and lifting her girlfriend with her as she came. Her eyes were closed tightly as she crested her orgasm.

Willow helped her through the aftershocks, using the additional moisture like a salve on Tara’s swollen lips and clit as she continued to massage and caress her. She didn’t leave as she pulled herself the little way back up to Tara’s face. With her free hand, she brushed at the strands of hair sticking to Tara’s sweaty forehead and cheeks so she could kiss at the other woman’s parted lips. She imagined what it must look like under her lover’s skirt, everything coated with Tara’s cum, her fingers, the folds and hood of Tara’s sex, the little blond hairs covering her mound, her panties and thighs… Her mouth watered and she swallowed hard.

Tara noticed as they continued to kiss through her slowing pants and Willow’s quickening ones. She had her strength back so she gently pushed Willow from her by the shoulders. Her girlfriend let herself be rolled over onto her back as Tara scooted backward on her knees toward Willow’s feet, already in their Keds, and pulled the jeans and underwear down to her ankles. They had less than ten minutes to spare, so Tara did not bother completely removing Willow’s sneakers or clothing. Instead, she directed Willow to bend her knees just that way. “Spread?” Tara implored. Willow obediently complied and she fell open before Tara’s eyes. Unlike the dark copper locks framing her face, Willow had kept the auburn curls on her sex neatly trimmed as part of her normal monthly routine. It somehow put everything into sharp and precise focus. Tara bent down to the familiar scent.

The lack of preamble made Willow dizzy. With Tara pinning her thighs down with her hands while her lips and tongue nipped and stroked at Willow’s clit, she tightened helplessly. Tara’s mouth quickly worked her ever tighter, strummed and pressed and entreated, from the bottom then back to her tip, at her trigger, relentless and confident and loving until… TWANG.

Willow clutched at the coverlet to keep her hands out of Tara’s hair so she wouldn’t hurt her lover as Tara continued to lap at her as she climbed down from her climax. Her weak groan was Tara’s cue to relent. She climbed back up to Willow’s side as the younger woman struggled through her shudders to get her jeans and underwear back up her shaking legs. They only had a few minutes to spare to get themselves together, clean up as much as possible, and hand their keys in at the front desk.

“Here, let me,” Tara said, licking her lips as she sat up, “seeing as how you’re still kind of spastic.”

Willow groaned in protest, but neither the will nor the wit to quip back was there yet. They managed to get her clothing back into the correct place, though the troublesome zipper was going to have to wait.

“Actually, while I’m here…” Tara reached across Willow’s hips, eliciting another groan. “You can give me the phone number for the housing office.” She went into Willow’s jean pockets herself, causing Willow to whimper, then giggle, to fish out the wad of notepaper. “I’ll call them Monday. One less thing for you to do, and I should be doing these kinds of things for myself, anyway, since, um, not crazy anymore.” Her lopsided smile turned into a grin. She pushed her fingers through her disheveled hair.

Willow caught her breath. Tara was so beautiful. Oh Goddess, she was beautiful. She sighed, feeling the regret fill her again. But the resolve had become a hard thing in her, too. “I wish—” this time she caught herself using those dangerous words, and frowned. Her face turned thoughtful and she continued. “I wish we could live together, like we planned. Waking up every morning next to you. Making breakfast. Leaving for the day bearable, ‘cause I know I’d see you when I got home. Having dinner, talking about the day, making love. Falling asleep breathing the same air, dreaming the same dream. Just you and me, all the time, always, home.”

“You and me and Dawn, then?” Tara frowned. “Um, not the parts from the making love to the waking up, ‘cause that would still be just us, obviously.” They both fell into silence as they each tried to work the edits into the mental pictures as quickly as possible.

Willow finished hers quickly, giving her an extra moment to go back to Tara’s original statement. “Huh?”

Tara finished rearranging her own thoughts and looked at her girlfriend’s still perplexed face. Her eyebrows were scrunched up in that adorable way Tara loved. She realized that this time, she had jumped ahead of her brainy girlfriend. Lover. Partner. Other half. It happened occasionally. Tara knew that as far as logical thinking and scientific knowledge went, Willow blew her and pretty much everyone else they knew out of the water. In the area of common sense, however, Tara usually was queen. She leaned forward and kissed above the bridge of Willow’s nose where her eyebrows were trying to meet. It smoothened under the pressure of her lips. She pulled back, smiling crookedly. “I might have to keep a room on-campus to keep my scholarship, but it doesn’t mean I have to use it.” A horrible thought intruded, an old insecurity. “Th-That is, if y-you think Buffy w-wouldn’t have minded?”

Willow ignored the pain in her heart when Tara said Buffy’s name. “Oh god, Tara, you mean…?”

“We can use the room in case either of us needs to be alone—”

“That’ll never happen!”

“Or I’ll keep my art things in there…”

Willow squeezed her eyes shut, her heart threatening to burst. She opened her eyes quickly, not wanting to let Tara out of her sight.

“W-We should talk it over with Dawn, though, make sure she would be okay with it…?”

“We definitely need to talk it over with Dawnie when we get home, but I can’t see any reason why not. And I-I think… I think it’s what Buffy would’ve wanted, too.”

“So…?”

“We have a lot of stuff to do. Let’s go home, baby.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
END DRAFT

[watty]

I hope you’ll find time for the last one/two/three as well.

I do too will find time. And I call dibs.

ETA: I read an article a long time ago, can't remember any details except one. It was by a woman who was describing what she went through after the death of a loved one. The detail that struck me was that she talked about shoes. That on the day of the funeral she had an inexplicable obsession to clean the shoes of her children, husband and everyone. Because they simply couldn't go to the funeral in grubby shoes.

My point, and I will get to it eventually, is that people react to death in different ways. The after effects are lingering, and may manifest in stages. I could see W and T going on vacation after Buffy's death. I can even imagine it was T who insisted to take W away. W's episode with the housing office is heartwrenching ... it's an obsessive moment, there won't be an difference calling the office after the weekend, and half an hour before they're due to check out of their hotel isn't the best timing.

What if she’s… Maybe she’s in a hell dimension somewhere, like where Angel went? Do you think that’s possible? What if… what if it’s not over for her? I mean, why wasn’t another slayer called, unless it’s because she’s not really gone? Maybe she’s still out there, trapped, in some kind of hell, in pain, wondering why I haven’t come to get her?

This is one of the best explanation of why W did what she did to bring B back. She genuinely thought she was helping her best friend. In her current frame of mind, it must have been difficult to imagine heaven. Add to that the guilt that she focused too much on Tara, and I can see W trying to find the Big Rescue.

She’s barely touched you all week, what makes you think she’ll want to do something more now, with everything happening

I don't feel any discord between them, though there is tension, it feels like tension with the outside world and everything that's happened.

She knew.

And that's why. Sex heals, at least that's what I've been told.

The lack of preamble made Willow dizzy.

A fifteen-minute "quickie" or a allnighter ... with the right person both can be fulfilling in their own right. I like how you describe the sex, I can feel how much they both needed and relished it. Very nicely done.
[br]

[mole]

Hi Binky,

Wow, you really gave us a ride on the rollercoaster of human emotions in this one. I think my head my still be catching up with my stomach, or something like that.

The distance between Willow and Tara in the first part of this vignette is just so painful. To have been as close as they were and then not be able to find their way back to each other after Glory and Buffy's death, when they need each other the most, is just heart-wrenching. Your word choice and tone really carries that feeling.

Tara flinched as Willow turned. Stupid, stupid cow. She’s barely touched you all week, what makes you think she’ll want to do something more now, with everything happening, right before we have to leave and go back, and her all tense and worried?

Tara's insecurity about being unattractive to Willow; all I can say is ouch. Feeling unwanted by your lover and not knowing how to get back to her, you feel so lost and alone. One of the hardest places to be, in my humble opinion.

It's hard to see Willow so distracted and scattered. I mean, we're used to her hyperkinetic behavior but she always seems on top of things. But now, Buffy's death and Tara's return to sanity and the responsibility of caring for Dawn just seems too much. Latching on to the need to rearrange housing to the point of missing the subtle (or not so subtle) flirtation of her lover describes Willow's scatteredness very, very well.

But boy, when the clue-by-four hits, Willow doesn't waste any time. Again, your word choice and pacing help bring home the point of their attraction to each other and their urgent need to reconnect physically.

Nice job Binky. Looking forward to your take on season 6.
Michelle

[beanie]

Greetings binky!

I have to admit, when I saw the rating (Adults Only) this exact thought ran through my mind: GOODIE!!! And then you put in the angst warning. I love how you drew so many parallels to Willow's behavior and actions after Joyce's death. It just made the entire situation a lot easier to picture and to really feel since we already experienced a smidgen of those emotions with the actual episode. But one aspect of mourning that you really drew upon which made this "etude" all the more real was the completely random moods that occured so quickly, one after another.

The torrent of emotions that washed through both characters, not just Willow made them all the more real. And of course, binky dear, you did not fail to bring in humor into such a serious story. The

I can be fast!

bit was quite cute. In the end they find solace in one another.

There also a certain fluidity to your writing that truly makes this story so form equals content-y. One mood leads into another and your story keeps us going. It's like you move the story even while taking your time. Truly skillful. Love it as always (even if I don't say anything)

-beanie

[FineyMcFine]

binky, this HAS to be my favorite one so far, and not even at all because of the rating or the sex. It just seems like this is so well-written, so flow-y, so right on in capturing what's in their heads and how it matches up with what they say or don't say. And wonderful hints about Willow's soon-to-grow over-reliance on magic and the pressure and responsibility she feels. There's just the right amount of description about their surroundings and themselves balanced perfectly with the action. And the "action." SUPER!

[binky]

Thank you for the very nice feedback. I’m going to try to respond in kind, so verbosity alert...

Hi watson - I hope you haven’t minded my failure to really address things you bring up in your feedback. I always think to myself when I read what you wrote, yeah, watson gets it, so my mind wanders off on another tangent. It’s a thing. But I really am grateful for you verbalizing your responses. It’s like sonar. I know I’m in the general area I wanted to be, or not.

This one was a no-brainer to write in lots of ways. We know something significant happened that summer, for all that Willow became more or less the team leader rather than Giles (which annoys me about his character no end, and is something I’ve never quite gotten over thereafter), and Tara started joining them on patrol while Buffy was dead. But as W/T were rarely the show’s focus, without seeing how things got to that point, I thought the magic-junkie mind-rape scenario was too rushed and clumsily presented, even if the clues were there. Thus, some more back story, which, I guess, is the point of behind-the-scenes. Hopefully people don’t find they cross over into fan-wankery.

This one, though, I do think enough clues were there, so much so that this one almost wrote itself. I can well imagine the disappointment the couple would feel when their plans for the future fell through. The alignment was right for W to become a true egotistical control-freak, and for T to be so insecure that it relaxed her ethical belief system to the point she would be unable to stop W’s slide. But yeah, I agree, their problems for the most part didn’t start from between them, their natural insecurities (Boystown, etc) being fairly trivial IMO, but from external circumstances playing on their internal weaknesses and some horrifically bad luck.

Of course, all this could’ve been avoided by Buffy not being so selfish and stubborn and just tossing Dawn into the cosmic gate thingy instead--Now, now, I’m just kidding, noble-Buffy and Dawn fans. Really.

Anyway, thanks, watson. That was a very reassuring PING!

mole and beanie – Your encouraging words are very sweet.

Michelle, hi. Thank you. You described precisely what I was trying to do.

One consistent thing about this couple, they really look right together, don’t they? Another no-brainer. Like I said in my response to watty, I think that it is really mostly external pressures that initiated the conflicts in their couple-ness. Then personal weaknesses and some outrageously bad luck and a little thing like an argument over a long-ago stay in Boystown becomes a big thing like inflicted lunacy and sacrificing everything for loyalty to a dead friend. But I don’t think they’re really ever far apart from each other on a metaphysical level. For a separation caused by that, to me it’s plain as day: sex really does heal. It being a quickie was important, too, so it conveyed the urgency and the ease of the reconnect. Thanks again, Michelle. Another PING!

beanie, kiddo, you are really making me blush. Stop it! Okay, don’t stop.

Humor—really necessary every once in a while, and not always a bad thing in bed, either (context, context, context).

I’m very grateful for your comments about my writing. Balancing pacing versus detail throughout, but especially during the quickie—that was really the most challenging part of writing this chapter.

And I really wanted to try to write another sex scene before I closed the book on this project, specifically a quickie. And I wanted to make it good, hot even, even though it was brief. I hope I pulled it off. The first draft on this, W’s catching was a little too clinical, as my betas can attest. I tweaked it (or twanged it, as it were), and I think it’s definitely better, even if it’s not as quick and frantic as the original. But yay, another chance to say it—thanks, Trom and Amy! I love having my work beta’ed.

SallyMcFine – Wow. Thanks. This one was relatively pain-free to write. It’s very gratifying to hear that you liked it that much. Writing that is not masochistic? I’d like to try it more often. Though for some ominous reason, the following classic scene keeps replaying in my head:

Bugs: That’s terrrrrific, Daffy, they love it! They want more!
Duffy (as he floats up to heaven): I know, I know. But I can only do it once.

But we’ll see.

Thanks again, guys. Until next time,

b…

[caz]

I don't think that I have left you fb before. I love story's that fill in the gaps. The T.V. series was never long enough for me. I could have watched Willow & Tara constantly.

Can't wait to read more.

Caz

[Guppy]

Ok, so I don't think I've actually read any of these before. I just went through the whole series you have up so far and holy sh*! I love them all. Cups, the style was fantastic. I love the random moments you share with us. Homo Triste, I actually cried reading this. My heart ached with Willow and Buffy both. You captured the helplessness so completely. Requiem and Return, again, wow. Such details. I'm in awe. Meet the Rosenbergs was very amusing. Gay Now and Demon Lover rocked too. Ok, fine. They all were awesome. Nails has now permanently tied manicures directly to sex. You've ruined me binky. And I've tried so hard to keep my mind out of the gutter.

[dorksrcool]

Instead, they sat silently, before Tara reached up to push Willow’s bangs from her forehead.

Hey binky, I was re-reading your little fics because I love 'em and it just made me realize how freakin' beautiful and sexy "Nails" is. It's such a uniquely lesbian themed story, something that my straight female friends from Wyoming would question 'cause they just don't get it...."Why would you need a manicure if you're a lesbian?" I'm glad Tara thinks those girl/girl porn nails are disturbing too.

And I really love how you write about Tara pushing Willow's bangs off of her forehead (like in RnR too) because it's so sexy and intimate and coupley. It's a little thing but it's something I enjoy picturing in my head. Thank you for the image.

Looking forward to more as always, you rock!


amy

[Tues]

Binky -

I recall reading this once upon a time when I was but a lurker... long ago and far away I enjoyed and still do. You mistakenly thought it would generate little interest.

Now, I'm catching back up to your stories, because I thought you had stopped with the initial six! Silly me, but it's a good and bad thing. Certainly good, this is an entertaining and great read. But bad, because it distracts me from my own wacky endeavor. Speaking of which, you mentioned your anti-Willow kick as in "a familiarity breeds contempt kind of aversion". I'm amazed, it certainly doesn't show in your work.

Anyway, again still enjoying your etudes. These vignettes with expanded Willow and Tara story lines are wonderful. I can't even list favorites, I like them all and I await more.

Cheers,
TuesBlu

[binky]

Caz, Guppy, TuesBlu - From someone who is perpetually late for pretty much everything, welcome!

Caz, – It’s never too late to join a thread. At least I hope not. There are about four stories that I keep intending to leave fb for myself, that I still have to get to. So thanks for taking the time to comment.

Guppy – Gee, thanks. I always had a secret desire to be a corruptor of innocents. I’m glad you’ve dropped by. I hope you enjoy the remaining chapters. One should be up in a little while.

amy – hiya! Are you outing yourself as my beta, or did I just do that now? The lovely and talented with a whip Amy, people! All bow down and tremble! Of course, I’m just kidding about the whip and tremble part. :-P although my smuttastic ambitions for this second set of vignettes were ramped up by your encouragement on that score, so thanks, Amy.

Nails was the very first fanfic story I wrote. I’d been toying with the idea of trying to write my own stuff for a few weeks after just discovering Buffy fan fiction. I have to say, when I watch a show with a lesbian character, the first thing I look at is her hands. Same thing when someone sets off my lesbidar. Of course, since writing it, I’ve seen the episodes a number of times and have noticed that they went for the chewed up mangled look for T and W’s are often longer in s5 and later than they were when the character was in h.s. I mean, a little nail is nice, light scratching and pinching and all, but anything beyond 1/16th is too much of a stretch on credibility to me. Either that or I’m an incredible wimp. Jeez, I can’t believe I’m typing all this out. Anyway, it was a good premise for a story, and not from the typical catalogue of traditional queer lit moments so I’m proud of that, though I have nothing against those kinds of stories. I ended up using those moments for later chapters—coming out to your self/friends/family, approach someone you want, the first time you kiss a girl, have sex with a woman, etc gave me a way to organize the first part of their story arc after I decided I wanted to write more after Nails. Naturally, season 5 and 6 chapters followed that and were less personal and had more to do with more complicated and social (I mean public) stuff like dealing with stereotypes, getting into a serious relationship, sticking with it, etc.

Approaching all the vignettes that way, though, had the effect of making them as a whole about sex and sexuality. I just now realized (okay, I can be a little dense) that pretty much all but the first of the 13 vignettes have at least a brief sexual moment embedded into them so I guess that’s where the comments about my writing a lot of smut or erotica come from. That did take me by surprise, that I’m considered a smutty writer, cause you know, I really count myself in the camp of people who have a helluva hard frickin’ time writing sex scenes. I’ve just about finished another AO chapter, but I’m still hung up on finishing off the sex and it’s keeping me from shooting the draft off for betaing.

Huh, I guess a lot of this could go into the Beta section about sex scenes. Another thread I wanted to post to but haven’t. I really have to try to catch up this weekend.

Anyhoo, thanks, Amy.

TuesBlu – Not that I’m ungrateful for you stopping by, but why the frilly heck are you reading when you should be writing? What? Do we have to chain you to your desk?

Seriously, thanks for dropping a comment. I know it’s really hard to take a break when you’re in a writing groove to comment on other people’s fics. Plus I think you mentioned that you don’t want to be unduly influenced by reading what other people are writing, which I get cause I feel the same way sometimes. In my case, I'm feeling okay about reading because this series is winding down, I’m in a down-time and feeling lazy, plus I’m schizophrenic enough that I’m actually normally motivated when I read something really good to do as well in what I’m doing. An example of this is ReallyBigPineapple’s Butterfly. There are some sex scenes in that story that when I read them, I was like, I HAVE to write a sex scene as good as this (or actually, these)! I don’t mind crediting your story, either, in reminding me of the Willow that first got me hooked on Buffy. Then there were the uh-oh after-the-fact oopsies like Sassette’s Vignettes, though those are going to be unavoidable and you just have to grit your teeth and hope people don’t think you’re derivative or even worse, a plagiarist. Unless you’re not going to enjoy what other writers have done, it’s pointless to deny yourself the pleasure of reading when you’re on down time. Let’s face facts. You’ll always come across something that someone’s done better or even just before you. There’s really very little that hasn’t been done, even in a fairly young genre like fanfic.

Aaaaand, on that note, back to the writing grind.

For those of you keeping me to my word about Tara and her Big O, I admit this one was kind of quick and there was no actual divesting of clothing, but I hope you found it satisfying nonetheless. If not, I am planning a season 6 chapter with something slightly more elaborate, but then—it’ll be season 6, and probably a little more angsty as a result.

In fact, I have started drafting it, but it is set late in season 6, around episode 16. My sense of proportion tells me I need another season 6 chapter that would logically be placed sometime around episode 5 or 6. So I’m brainstorming right now. I know it’s been done before, but I’m thinking of writing my version of the ‘what’s for dinner?’ duet for that one, scored and all. Now I have never written song lyrics or music before so it’ll be an adventure. It might also take me a while to conclude that it was dumb of me to even think I could write something like that and try something else or scrap that chapter altogether. The other possibility I’m thinking of is a comic-style short fic—again, not really something I’ve done before, though I was a comic-book geek growing up (Uncanny X-Men mostly). We’ll see. I might even lose patience and post the late season 6 chapter first. I also do want to catch up on reading and get up to date on some stories and fb the next few days. The short of it is, I don’t have a clear idea when the next chapter will be up, but expect one, possibly two season 6 fictions eventually, which will fit into the group title, Where the Heart Is.

6.6 – Breathe (working title)
6.11 – The Departure of Wicca’d Red (posted last September)
6.16 – Endgame (drafting right now)
6.19 – Coming Home (posted last September)

So see you later, if you’re still so inclined.

b

[binky]

As a reminder, I archived the most polished versions of the older vignettes/scene-studies at my webpage. If you don’t want to browse through the previous posts of this thread to find one, click here. Okay, on we go to…

…Season 6, Where the Heart Is

There’s a new chapter lineup for this last set, due to the fact that I had to correct the episode numbers for continuity, and, I couldn’t decide between doing the illustrated short story or the musical theater duet. So I’m going to try both. Or, more accurately, the comic’s 85% done (65% finished, the other 35% just need some touchup work and lettering—see last note below.). Its posting schedule should give me enough time to decide if I really want to go ahead and try the songfic. But either way, there’s a plain old scene study with just words that will round out the set and put a big ole DONE! stamp on this whole etude project, early to mid-May.

6.2.x – Glamour (begins posting today)
6.6.x – Breathe (tentative title – may or may not get written)
6.12.x - The Departure of Wicca’d Red (posted last September)
6.13.x – Endgame (finished, will be posted late April/early May)
6.18.x – Coming Home (posted last September)

Angst, ahoy! These chapters are set in season six. They get a bit dark at moments. Willow and even Tara to a lesser extent are not shown in their best light. But, obviously, there is a reunion in canon by episode 18, “Entropy,” after which, we all know, the show went off the air. The last chapter I wrote for this series is set within “Entropy.” If you read the new chapters and you find them too dark and depressing, please go on to read (or even re-read) Coming Home, which is actually my own favorite chapter even if it’s not technically the best one I wrote. It’s pretty much the one I re-read the most and say smugly to myself, “bink, you did an okay job with this!” (yeah, I know, not just a little bit creepy, but it’s one of the things that makes me special).

Okay, on with the chapter. This one is in comic book/story board format. It’s meant to be part of the missing-scenes series, plus there’s a fair amount of dialogue in it, so I'll be posting the script here in Pens but providing a link to the graphic story on my website. My plan is to upload 5 or 6 pages to my website while posting the script here 3 times over 2 weeks days, starting today with the cover and pages 1-5. The total number of pages with the cover is 17. All pages should be uploaded by April 21. I’d prefer any feedback be left here on the KB in the appropriate board thread rather than email. The uploading schedule I will follow barring the oxymoronic normal unforeseen delays is:
1. April 7 (today): cover, pages 1-5
2. April 14: pages 6-11
3. April 21: pages 12-16

binky

[binky]

Notes/Disclaimers for Glamour:
- This story is rated R for some mild violence, profanity, and sexual situations.
- Summary: Set a little after “Bargaining.” The gang is relaxing at The Bronze after a night of slaying when the mood is spoiled by a homophobe confronting Willow.
- Dark Willow alert.
- Thanks to Trom for providing feedback on the script prior to production.
- WARNING FOR LOW BANDWIDTH USERS - large graphics files
- I gave up on inking/coloring after many frustrating days trying to learn how to do it and ended up Photoshopping the pencils to a quasi-comic book style. That’s why the first few pages aren’t quite the same style throughout. If anyone would like to have a go at inking/coloring, let me know and I’ll email high-res jpegs of the pencils.

CLICK HERE to begin reading Glamour, the illustrated short story. Otherwise, continue for the script only.



SCRIPT FOR PAGES 1-5

COVER

***

PAGE 1 – Summary: Patrol in the cemetery. Grace, a new vampire, awakens in her grave. She erupts, surrounded by Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Buffy, and Spike. As B is about to stake her…

PANEL 1 – G’s eyes, closed
Text: Grace Jonson, 26, wife of Daniel, mother of Ronald, 5, and Rodney, 3, victim of an unknown wild animal attack Sunday, September 5, 2000.
PANEL 2 – G’s eyes, opened wide
PANEL 3 – G as vampire’s eyes, narrowed
PANEL 4 – Tombstone, partial fist holding stake, top of S’s head, G’s hands emerging from ground
Dialogue:
X (off-panel): This is the third fledge tonight. We should—
S: Shut up. Just shut up. That’s what you should do. Hell, between sweet thing taking its time making its grand debut and me having to listen to all your mindless patter—
B: Shut up, Spike. All of you, be quiet!
PANEL 5 – Back of tombstone, G rising. She is surrounded by silhouettes of X, A, W, T, S, and B in the front.
Dialogue:
X: All I’m saying is we should be getting the Evil Undead siring all these things, instead of waiting for them to come back.
T: Be a little proactive, Xander?
X: Exactly! See? Tara gets what I'm saying
S: I'd be worried about your bird if I were you, Red. She can get what Xander's saying
A: Which is fine by me as Xander's girlfriend, since Tara's notoriously lesbian.
B: Do you guys not know what the meaning of Be Quiet is?

***

PAGE 2 – Summary: Willow incinerates the vampire with a spell. The gang start arguing. Other vampires, alerted by the noise, take off, suspending the argument.

PANEL 1 – G, covered in dirt, in game face
Dialogue:
W (off-panel): Huh. It looks kinda scared. It's growling like a puppy. Stand back, Buff. I've been waiting for a chance to...
PANEL 2 - G, turning red, bursting into flames
Dialogue:
W (off-panel): Flame on!
PANEL 3 – G, turning to dust
Dialogue (all off-panel):
X: Well, that was twenty minutes of pretty dull leading up to a big helping of kind of anti-climatic.
A: This is boring!
X: Yeah, Ahn, that's what I just said.
T: "Flame on?"
W: I was getting bored with "Incendere!"
PANEL 4 - W, T, X, A, B, S
Dialogue:
A: We could've had sex twice in that twenty minutes, Xander!
X: Uh, we really couldn't, hon.
W: Latin is so stuffy British librarian, doncha think?
S: S’too bad. She was a bit of a looker, too. Nice ridges.
PANEL 5 – S, B, X, W
Dialogue:
B: "Nice ridges?"
S: What? You expect us to use the same beauty standards as you pathetic humans?
X: Jeez, Wills. Leave some for the rest of us. Or at least let Buffy get hers in. We gotta get her some practice, get all the rust off.
W: K-I-S-S, Xan. Better safe than sorry. No need for Buffy to get vamp dust all over her nice new jacket when a good long-distance spell will do just fine.
PANEL 5 – A, worried look
Dialogue:
A: Sorry to interrupt the snappy banter, but it looks like the loud talking and Willow's big flaming poof scared the rest of our soulless prey. They're making a break for it!
PANEL 6 – A couple of vampires running away.
W (off-panel): Big flaming poof?!
T (off-panel): I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, honey...

***

PAGE 3 – Summary: Down-time at The Bronze
PANEL 1 – exterior shot of neon Bronze sign
PANEL 2 – wide distance shot of dance floor and balcony. Inset: Spike
PANEL 3 – wide mid shot of stage, dance floor, and bar in foreground
PANEL 4 – X, A on dance floor
PANEL 5 – W, T drinking
PANEL 6 – B at table, alone

***

PAGE 4 – Summary: Same as last
PANEL 1 – distance shot of B at table, alone
Dialogue:
X: I mean, look at her, Will—
W: I know, Xander, I know.
PANEL 2 – X, W, T discussing B’s progress
Dialogue:
T: All we can really do is just let her know we’re here for her.
W: Tara’s right, Xander. It’ll just take time.
PANEL 3 – B at table, drinking
Dialogue:
W: We just have to give her a little more time.
PANEL 4 – W takes T’s hand and leads her to dance floor
Dialogue:
W: C’mon, baby. It was a good patrol. Seven kills, no boo-boos. We’ll be back to code orange in no time. Now, I wanna dance.
PANEL 5 – W & T dancing
PANEL 6 – W & T holding hands
PANEL 7 – W & T kissing

***

PAGE 5 – Summary: W goes to women’s room. She passes Jack, leaning against the wall. J calls W a faggot. Confrontation.
PANEL 1 – W & T, heads close
Dialogue:
W: Beer—worse than coffee. I gotta go to the little witches’ room.
T: Hurry back.
PANEL 2 – W at door of W’s room in background. J in foreground, sneering.
Dialogue:
J: Goddamn faggots. They’re all over the freakin’ place.
PANEL 3 – W turning.
Dialogue:
W: What’d you say?
PANEL 4 – same as P2, W turned at door in background, J still sneering in foreground
J: I’m sure you heard me just fine.
PANEL 5 – W, closeup, eyes narrowed
Dialogue:
W: Let’s say I’m a little deaf.
PANEL 6 – J, closeup
J: I called you a fucking dyke.

***

TBC

[binky]

So nice, it posted twice.

[mole]

Hi Binky,

Quite the ambitious project you have going. Yet another reason I'm glad I finally switched to DSL.

You've set up the story nicely and I'm looking forward to the angst which is sure to follow. Yep, I'm an angst junkie.

Overall the artwork is very good. But, a few panels really stand out for me:
The solo shot of Spike on page 3 is spot on as is the solo shot of Buffy sitting alone, also on page 3.

The last three panels on page 4, Tara and Willow holding hands and moving forward into a kiss are lovely. You've captured the emotion within both of them - the slight shyness and love and desire...all very nicely portrayed.

And finally, the close-up of Willow toward the end of page 5 is terrific. I can see the angry glinting in her eyes.

Looking forward to the next upload of pages. Great work, Binky.
Michelle

[DarkWiccan]

DUDE!! COOOOL!

Awesome artwork! Great start! I can't wait for more!

Cheers
DW

[WillowRulez]

Wow, didnt expect you to turn the story into a comic! Really cool idea.
Your Spike looks pretty realistic. Everyone else too of course.
Great artwork, more soon?

[dorksrcool]

Dude, the comic is fucking fantastic!

[watty]

I'm speechless. I can't draw to save my life so these drawings simply blow my mind away. Not only have you captured the expressions and personalities of the Scoobies; with a few simple words of dialogue you're spot on with their "voices" too. You know where you're going with these etudes of yours, there is no doubt about that. I'm happy to be able to come along on the ride.

B: Do you guys not know what the meaning of Be Quiet is?

The lovebirds naturally are so sweet. This being S6, they hadn't gone down the magicrack addiction / memory suck suckage yet, though Willow's tendency to fiddle around with spells is already apparent:

T: "Flame on?"
W: I was getting bored with "Incendere!"

Love the absence of dialogue in Page 3. I hate Spike and you made him look cool in Panel 2. Buffy's despondency is telling. Xander and Anya wrapped up in themselves. And Willow and Tara in their own world too. The intimate in Page 4 was so lovely too.

And yes, I can totally see Willow turning Jack into a frog.

I think this is the second (?) illustrated story I've come across. Thank you for sharing and yes, I do get it, not all the time since I have no nuance or subtlety, but at least I try.
[br]

[binky]

Uh, okay. It's 12:05 AM, so technically, I didn't make it. Ran into a snafu--yeah, yeah. But it's visible. I lettered with a different font and didn't realize it until this morning. Egads. Oh well, I'll fix it when I get a few spare moments.

Also, I'm very grateful for the feedback for the first 5 pages but I'm a bit tired right now. I'll reply in a little bit. Without further delay, here's the script for pages 6-10.

Preface notes for Glamour 4/14/06 – 4/21/06

Fanfic based on Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Tara, Willow, Buffy, Spike, Xander, and Anya are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I am not making nor will I accept any money from this fiction.

Note1: If you prefer to read the whole story in one sitting rather than the 5 or 6-page installments, please come back after April 21. The completed story from cover to page 16 should be up by then in PDF, printable format.

Note 2: WARNING FOR LOW BANDWIDTH USERS - large graphics files

Title: Glamour
Author: binky
Genre: behind the scenes; illustrated short story
Rating: M (Mature), for sex and mild violence. And for godsakes, if you’re at the office right now and you’re not the boss of you, read something else! Something without pictures!
Setting/background A cemetery, the Bronze, the Summers house, shortly after the events of season 6, episodes 1 and 2, “Bargaining” parts I & II
Summary: Post-slaying downtime. Willow’s control is tested.
Spoilers: up to and including "Bargaining II"
Feedback: Right here, please!

CLICK HERE to begin reading Glamour, the illustrated story. Otherwise, continue for the script only.

binky


GLAMOUR (pages 6 - 10)

PAGE 6/7 – Summary: Montage of W & T’s bedroom
PANEL 1 – W’s eyes, closeup
Dialogue:
W: Yeah. That’s what I heard.
PANEL 2 – on bed, sitting up
PANEL 3 – against door
PANEL 4 – on bed, silhouette
PANEL 5 – T, with bed hair
PANEL 6 – T & A talking.
Dialogue:
A: It’s not like I bring up the e-word all the time just to irritate Xander. It’s just that it was an important part of my life for so long…
T: Um, e-word?
A: Evisceration. But it’s better than the c-word, don’t you think? Speaking of vengeance, Tara, you know it’s already been close to a year. There is a statue of limitations on these things—
PANEL 7 - T senses something is wrong.
Dialogue:
T: Um, excuse me, Anya…
PANEL 8 – W, closeup, smirking
Dialogue:
W: Jealous, huh?

***

PAGE 8 – Summary: T joins W who shields her from J. W quips about getting girls. X & B at table; X is trying to get B to open up. They’re interrupted by the noise of J pushing W to the floor. T defends W as J stands menacingly above them.
PANEL 1 – T behind W, J to the far right.
Dialogue:
W: Y’know, if you’re looking for tips on getting women, I really can’t help you. Mine only work on ones with brains. And taste.
T: Will…
J: You’d better get Butch here outta my face, girl.
T: Baby, come on. Let’s go.
PANEL 2 – X, closeup
Dialogue:
X: C’mon, Buff. What’s wrong? Talk to me.
PANEL 3 – B, profile, looking down
Dialogue:
B: There’s really nothing to say.
PANEL 4 – X & B, interrupted by noise
Dialogue:
T (off-panel): Will!
X: What the—? Will!
PANEL 5 – W on floor, T kneeling beside her, J standing some feet away, arms crossed
Dialogue:
T: Is that the kind of man you are? Pushing women around?
J: You know what? You’re kinda cute for a dyke, honey. Any time you want a real man, let me know.
PANEL 6 – W, getting up, eyes dilated
Dialogue:
W: Why? So you can pass on his number?

***

PAGE 9 – Summary: X & B insert themselves between W& T and J. B holds J at bay while X gets T to get W away.
PANEL 1 – W & T getting up from floor, X helping them. B standing in front of J
Dialogue:
X: Hey, you two alright?
W: Well, aside from being covered in the filth normally only associated with the floor of the Bronze...
T: W-We’re fine, Xander. That…drunk jerk confronted Willow. (whisper) I think she’s had a little too much to drink, too.
W: Hey, standing right here… Or at least trying to.
J: What is this? The fucking Queer Liberation Front?
PANEL 2 – B, closeup.
Dialogue:
B: That’s exactly what this is.
PANEL 3 – T & X are book-ending W.
Dialogue:
T: Come on, Willow. Let’s just go home. It’s already late.
W: No way! I wanna see Buffy kick the dumb guy’s ass!
PANEL 4 – same as Pl3, X turned to W
X: Okay, I vote, no. Number 1, it’s late, and you need to take your girlfriend home. Number 2, the Slayer ass-kicking is reserved for dumb guys of the demon variety…
PANEL 5 – T & W, face to face
Dialogue:
T: Baby, let’s just go. Walk me home, okay?
W: Okay.

***

PAGE 10 – Summary: X gives T his car keys. J feels vindicated as the gang leave. W leaves a parting gift.
PANEL 1 – same as P9pl4, but X is now turned to Tara, W is standing on her own
Dialogue:
X: Tara, no. Wait for us in the car. I’ll just get Anya and we’ll wait for Buffy then we’ll drop you guys off. It’s late, anyway, and we’re all slayed out.
PANEL 2 – J, smirking
Dialogue:
J: What’s this? A harem situation? Or are you a punk, too?
PANEL 3 – X, scowling
Dialogue:
X: Buddy, you don’t know how close you came tonight… Say, you wouldn’t happen to have any demon blood in you, wouldja?
PANEL 4 – J’s eyes, scowling
Dialogue:
J: What’s that supposed to mean?
PANEL 5 – B’s eyes, emotionless
Dialogue:
B: We’re trying to figure out if I can get to work.
PANEL 6 – J’s eyes, surprised and a little scared
PANEL 7 – T leads W away
Dialogue:
T: Come on, sweetie.
PANEL 8 – W & T’s hands – fade from separate, W’s hand – V sign, W’s hand – H sign, T’s hand clasping W’s

MTF

[Boadecia]

Those drawings are awesome! the bedroom montage was just beautiful!

[binky]

Hi, replies to feedback now. Last update this Friday, as planned.

Michelle, DW, WillowRulz, Amy, watson, Boadecia – thank you for taking the time to leave comments. This chapter, it’s probably obvious, is the most labor-intensive I’ve tried. I probably could’ve written at least 2 regular stories using the same amount of effort so reader feedback to this one is in a way more significant to me.

Hi, Michelle. Yup, it’s on the ambitious side as far as putting myself on a schedule. The script itself was put together pretty quickly after a few days of mulling over the basic plot, but the graphics are sooo time-consuming. To make matters worse, I can only work on some of the pages in the daytime. I do most of my fanficking (?) during my lunch break at my very corporate job so I couldn’t really do any of the intimate scenes there so a good part of the graphics has to be done at home. I normally only post a chapter when it’s finished and now I’m thinking I should’ve just done that here, even if I couldn’t post it until the end of the month. Thank you for pointing out particular panels you liked. That’s always good to know which particular ones worked better than others.

DW – Wow, you startled me. In a good way, though. Thanks, bud!

WillowRulz – Thank you! I’m still on target with the third date of this coming Friday, New York time, knock on wood.

Amy – You know how I'm looking forward to putting this project to rest, but it's been great getting betas back from you. This one felt weird, like I was lone-wolfing it again without you and Trom offering step-by-step suggestions. But I'm happy you're finding it entertaining as a plain old reader, too. Thanks!

Hi, watty. I have to say, the writing part of this was pretty alien. I actually had to (gasp!) cut back on using words to make story-telling room for the graphics. Compressing the script like that, the “Author” in me is pouting about all the elisions I had to make to the dialogue/exposition just for the impact of what might end up being little more than a minor eye candy effect. Then again, I probably wouldn’t have tried to write this chapter as a regular fiction. The characters are a little too flat and the time frame too brief for how I normally write so it lent itself to something more visual. Too bad, I’m not an action writer, either, so this’ll strike comic connoisseurs as being very girly with too much talking as well. It feels a bit too after-school special about name-calling rather than the operatic Glamour, Vengeful Heart, my inner Artiste would aspire to, but then there’s nothing wrong with after-school specials, or plain old ka-pow!-filled comic books. Jack’s payback will be coming in the third and final act.

Boadecia – thank you much. Re. the bedroom montage. It was kind of necessary for the story, but I’m still a bit squeamish about it, that it might be too voyeuristic. The bed and door scenes are actually okay because they’re kind of generic without the faces, but the bed-hair Tara panel… Oboy. That one came out closer to Amber Benson than I normally would’ve wanted, but the effect was so what I was trying for—a mental image of Tara that only Willow would’ve seen—that I couldn’t bring myself to alter it after I put the pencil down. Here’s the original panel without the Willow blue-memory treatment: HAPPY TARA.

Actually, the likenesses to the actual actors is something I struggled with philosophically. When writing I don’t visualize the actors necessarily aside from the basic sense of their physical characteristics being associated with the character they play but obviously this story’s a little different if I want to interest a fan of the TV show. I ended up just looking at some stills of the actors then free-handing from that point. At the end of the day, I’m happy if the readers are able to tell which character is which without needing the dialogue to confirm their assumptions.

Thanks again, guys. I am really curious how people are reacting to this story, as a story and just the artwork—please keep the feedback coming. It’s really what makes the effort worthwhile.

binky

[WillowRulez]

God, that guy is a jerk!
You really drew Willow dead on! Looks just like her.
Can Xander please kick some ass? Or Buffy? That might bruise that guy's ego even more.
Neat artwork

[willowbaby05]

Hi,
Okay 1, Jack's homophobic asshole. I really wanted B to kick his ass. But steady still, lovin the story and I cant wait for the next update ...

[watty]

Sometimes I can be long-winded, but sometimes I can write terse (I hope), but good point about having to cut back with the words and let the pictures tell the story.

The bedroom drawing is brilliant. Again I have no clue when it comes to shading or strokes (hee, I said strokes) or stuff like that. I just know that it's full of love and intimacy and I especially like the way they were holding hands.

LOL about Panel 7 -- Anya being big knowledge woman, and Tara knowing instinctively she was needed at Willow's side. The Scoobies coming to the rescue is so great too.

Anyway, like Willow will be in the morning, I'm kinda hungover too. Looking forward to the next parts.
[br]

[beanie]

Slap me and call me stupid. I was so excited to see your update and then I saw the written dialogue of the post. And I Freaked. Out. I was like "AHH!! Binky changed the formatting of her stories. AHH!! Binky wrote no descriptiongs. AHH!! There are no quotation marks!!" Freaked out, for sure. Then of course I scroll my way back up to see your link.

Whoops.

Now, I am just boggled by the fact that you can draw and write so well. Boggled by, you know, inhuman envy as I often am. I'm not an avid drawing, comic-y kind of person so I have difficulty identifying who's who in each box, but I found your depictions so on that, no trouble at all! I didn't even need visual cues like hair color! Imagine that!

Um . . . but "nice ridges"? You can tell if a vampire's hot by the "ridges"? And Willow's just a goof. A big magic-y, drunken goof. It was a nice change to see a different environment around the gang though, mainly Willow and Tara. I always wondered about how they could have a relationship in such a small town and not encounter mean mean meanies. Yet voila, you have shown us such a situation which makes it all the more real. The, uh, drawings help too. A little. Oh by the way, the whole nakedness interlude, dear Lord! Good Lord! My God! Speechless, I am. It really got the point across though. Willow's got the hot girl and the drunken asshole doesn't. Score one Willow.

So . . . what's next?

[lottagay]

Excellant artwork and the story is just about the exact way real life is , minus the demons and slaying and such,but there is always some a*&$^#@ that has to put his two cents in if he sees two women kiss or be closer than he thinks they should be. I look foreward to the next update.

[binky]

[saunters in late, whistling]

Thanks for the responses!

Willowrulez – Yes, he’s a jerk. I think if this were a real story, he’d have a little more depth, though, not be so one-sided. Perhaps he is jealous, as Willow said. Maybe he’s bitter because he’s lonely. Or he could just be a mean-spirited bigot.

willowbaby05 – Alas, no slayer ass-kicking. There is a badass Wicca on-premises, though. I’m not sure who I’d rather face, a furious Willow or a depressed and lifeless Buffy.

hi watty – Thanks again for being specific. I hope you had help getting you through the aftereffects of your overindulgence, like Willow did, heheheh. Sorry.

beanie – Hi! I’m glad you found the comic version and didn’t give up. LOL. I know what you mean, though. I loved reading dramatic literature when I was a student, but I can’t really read it for leisure these days. My slow, unfortunately adult brain needs exposition. I'm sure there are some really fine examples of that format in fanfic (Chris’ adaptation of Midsummer is the best I’ve come across) but in general, I see dramatic script and I think, uh, no. Next, please.

I will be redoing the whole booklet in May in full color and completely adapted to a web-format rather than the printable pages, so it’ll probably scan easier then—Willow’s hair will be red and Tara’s eyes will be baby blue. But I’m glad it still works for you as is.

lottagay – thanks. Like beanie, I always thought they must’ve been harassed at some point. Granted, southern California college town, probably not as bad as where Tara came from originally, but still, every college town has townies and not all townies are like Xander. I actually kind of patterned Jack after some of the students I met from my own campus experiences. Otherwise good guys coming from small town/suburbia, suddenly put into a fairly liberal setting ethics-wise, and some of them don’t react well. If I had to build up his back story, I might try something like that, though I’m glad I don’t have to. Really not a pleasant individual to try to get to know, I imagine, ‘cause he’s already set himself up to be hostile from the start.

Sorry for the lateness. I went out with some buds last night and came back with a few less brain cells.

Okay, the third and final set of pages will be up in a little bit.

binky

[binky]

Note1: If you prefer to print the story rather than read it off the web, the completed book as first issued (i.e., mostly black and white, standard page format) from cover to page 16 with a few bonus posters (yes, just like a real comic book!) is available on my website as a PDF file (200 dpi, 10MB). Go to the Glamour index page linked below, right-click on the appropriate link, and save the target file to your hard drive. You will need Adobe Acrobat reader to view/print the file. The PDF file will be available until April 28. After that I’ll be taking it down and putting up a web-only version that will be less of a bandwidth hog.

Note 2: WARNING FOR LOW BANDWIDTH USERS - large graphics files


Fanfic based on Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Tara, Willow, Buffy, Spike, Xander, and Anya are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I am not making nor will I accept any money from this fiction.

Title: Glamour, Act III
Author: binky
Genre: behind the scenes; illustrated short story
Rating: M (Mature), for sexual situations, profanity, and mild violence.
Setting/background A cemetery, the Bronze, the Summers house, shortly after the events of season 6, episodes 1 and 2, “Bargaining” parts I & II
Summary: Post-slaying downtime at the Bronze is interrupted when a homophobe confronts Willow.
Spoilers: up to and including "Bargaining II"
Feedback: Right here, please!

CLICK HERE to begin reading the Glamour, the illustrated short story. Otherwise, continue for the script only.



PAGE 11/12/13 – Summary: X & A drop off W, T, & B at Summers’ house. W&T discuss the confrontation and W’s behavior on patrol. W coaxes T to sex.
PANEL 1 – T in foreground at bureau, undressing. W sitting on bed, already in tank top.
Dialogue:
T: It’s not funny, Willow. That guy was so drunk, he could’ve really hurt you without thinking twice about it.
PANEL 2 – T undoing her hair, W behind her, pulling her shirt off her shoulder.
Dialogue:
W: Baby, the only way he could’ve hurt me is if he hurt you. I wish you’d just let me handle it.
PANEL 3 – T, over her shoulder, upset
Dialogue:
T: Handle it how? Let him toss you around until he slipped in your blood and knocked himself out?
PANEL 4 – W, frowning
Dialogue:
W: Hey, I can handle myself. I did two and a half vamps myself tonight, remember?
PANEL 5 – T, still at dresser, W on bed.
Dialogue:
T: I’m just saying, you take too many chances, Willow.
W: Oh, so it’s my fault? Some drunk bigot starts harassing me ‘cause he sees us kissing, and it’s my fault?
PANEL 6 – T sitting next to W on bed
Dialogue:
T: No! That’s not… That’s not what I meant. Of course it wasn’t your fault. What I mean is… You’re not a superhero, Will. You’re not… You’re not a Slayer.

***

PAGE 12 – Summary: Same as last
PANEL 1 – same as P11pl6
Dialogue:
W: Is that what this is about? Patrol tonight? Look, Tara, Buffy’s been back less than two weeks. I just want to keep an eye out for her until she gets her bearings. She still seems a little… off. Okay?
T: Okay.
PANEL 2 – same as Pl1
Dialogue:
W: Anya was right, though. There’s no need for you and her and Xander to go out with us anymore.
T: Us? You’ll still be going? Why, Will?
PANEL 3 – W closeup
Dialogue:
W: I don’t want to leave Buffy alone with Spike. Something’s off about him, too. I’ll stop when things have settled down, gotten back to the way they were before.
PANEL 4 – T closeup
Dialogue:
T: Just… let Spike and Buffy do the dangerous stuff? Promise you’ll be careful.
PANEL 5 – same as Pl2
Dialogue:
W: Got it. No pulling a Riley. Buffy’s the superhero, although…
PANEL 6 – W closeup
Dialogue:
W: You can be a hero tonight, if you want. A Dutch heroine?
PANEL 7 – T and W on bed, W’s arms around T’s shoulders
Dialogue:
T: W-What?
W: Stop a flood. Stick a finger in a dyke.

***

PAGE 13 – Summary: Same as last
PANEL 1 – W inviting T into bed
Dialogue:
T: I… can’t believe you just said that.
W: I can’t believe I’m getting away with saying it.
T: Who says you’re getting away with it?
W: Well, you’re getting into bed with me, aren’t you?
T: Maybe it’s just to punish you.
W: Oo, you gonna spank me?
T: Are you sure Faith didn’t break out of prison and get herself another body-snatcher charm?
W: Hey, now that was uncalled for… Heheh… You said ‘snatcher.’
T: Goddess, you’re like a machine.
W: I can’t help it. I think it’s that double-H thing. I didn’t get it all out of me just dancing.
PANEL 2 – T and W on bed, face to face.
Dialogue:
T: Hon, I thought we straightened this all out. That’s just for slayers.
W: Hey, no one said anything about only slayers being able to use that excuse.
T: Did I ever give you the impression you need an excuse?
W: Good point. Queer me up, baby.
T: I beg your pardon?
W: I wanna punk you.
T: You expect me to… do things with that potty mouth?
W: Be gay with me… please?
T: Sweet talker.
PANEL 3 – T’s hand reaching for lamp switch
PANEL 4 – W’s hand over T’s, stopping her.
Dialogue:
W: Leave it on. I want to see your face.

***

PAGE 14 – Summary: The Bronze. J is at the bar, still drinking. The bartender approaches him.
PANEL 1 – J at bar, with several empty bottles in front of him
Dialogue:
J: Queers and freaks. Goddamn place is full of them…
PANEL 2 – bartender in background, J in fore.
Dialogue:
Bartender: Don’t know if you’re new in town, but you oughtta just steer clear of those kids. Just give ‘em a wide berth. Trouble tends to follow them—
J: Yeah, yeah. I know. I was there. Hey, get me another one of these…
Bartender: Sorry. Last call was ten minutes ago. We’re closing in five.
J: Great.
PANEL 3 – J heads for the men’s room. Pushing door open
PANEL 4 – urinal

***

PAGE 15 – Summary: J at urinal. He sees something that scares him and screams. Across town, in W & T’s bedroom, T wakes from a nightmare.
PANEL 1 – J at urinal, shot from rear as he undoes his zipper
PANEL 2 – J’s eyes, bloodshot, looking down
PANEL 3 – J’s eyes, wide open, looking down
Dialogue:
J: Oh, God… What the FUCK? (scream)
PANEL 4 – T asleep, W at her side with her arm draped across T’s chest.
PANEL 5 – T wakes up in foreground, W in background, waking
Dialogue:
W: Tara? Baby? What is it?
PANEL 5 – T closeup
Dialogue:
T: A-A nightmare. Just a nightmare.
W: A nightmare? About Glory?
T: Gl-Glory? N-no. That guy, at the bar…
PANEL 6 – W, sitting up, reaching for lamp
W: That jerk? Aw, baby, don’t worry. It’s over. Y’know, I really gotta hunt this guy down and make him pay, if he’s giving my baby nightmares.

***

PAGE 16 – Summary: W & T’s bedroom, discussing T’s nightmare
PANEL 1 – T, closeup, looking uncertainly at W
Dialogue:
T: Willow, you didn’t…?
PANEL 2 – W, still sleepy, playful
Dialogue:
W: What?
PANEL 3 – W, realizing, frowning
Dialogue:
W: What? No! Tara, I can’t believe you’d even—
PANEL 4 – T hugging W, profile with T in front
Dialogue:
T: I’m sorry. No. You’d never… I’m sorry, Willow. Forgive me, sweetie?
PANEL 5 – still hugging, T’s back showing, W’s face.
Dialogue:
W: There’s nothing to forgive, baby. Everything’s good. No more nightmares. Especially not about that jerk. He’s not worth it. Let’s just go back to bed, ‘kay?
PANEL 6 – W turning off light, T over her shoulder
PANEL 7 – W & T in silhouette
Dialogue:
W (thought): He wasn’t worth it. It was just a glamour.

***

END