Title: Mending Fences
Author: SlayerTazz
E-mail: tazz72@yahoo.com Feedback: Yes, please!
Distribution: Sure, just let me know.
Spoilers: Up to and including Season 6, this is mostly AU though.
Pairing: W/T
Rating: PG-13. Some chapters may increase in rating. Fair warning will be given.
Disclaimers: Joss and Co. own all. I'm just borrowing them for the time being...
Summary: Willow and Tara have broken up, Tara has moved back to the dorms - she's living in the room that we first saw her in (its AU, and I liked her original room), and Spike is remotely still one of the "good" guys.
Notes: All character thoughts/dreams are in italics.
Mending Fences Part 1Tara sat alone in the dorm. She was curled up on her bed looking out the window. The candles had burned out and now all that lit the room was the moonlight. The sun had set several hours ago; she just didn't have the energy or desire to move and turn on the lights or to even light more candles. It'd been a month since she had moved out of the Summers’ house. She'd been lucky that her old dorm room was open. The memories were plentiful, but it helped her not to feel so alone.
Tara's mind drifted back to her freshman year, when she joined the Wicca group. That was when she first met the amazingly beautiful red haired girl. She had seen her around the campus before, but never really had gotten close enough to really look at her. In the group though she was able to study her beauty. Her eyes were such a deep emerald green and her hair was fiery red in contrast to her fair skin. Tara instantly memorized every line, every feature and every curve.
She remembered the first time she saw Willow smile - it took her breath away. Then, there was the whole creepy Gentlemen experience, and their first touch. She could still feel the surge of energy that flowed through their bodies during that touch. It was at that moment that Tara knew this was who she was meant to spend her life with. How could something so right turn so wrong?
The sound of students passing by the room brought Tara back from her memories. She sighed heavily glancing around the room at the blank walls, there were so many memories. A tear streamed down her face, she could feel the track it was leaving on her face. It felt like someone was burning her. Tara cried herself into an exhaustive sleep.
**********
Willow sat alone in the room that she used to share with Tara. Staring around the room at the pictures on the wall, the clock that matched the wallpaper. It had been a month alone without Tara. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, all she could do was cry and wonder what she could possibly do to get her sweet love back.
A knock at the door made Willow jump. She glanced over towards the door and saw Dawn peeking her head in.
"Hey Will, how ya doing?"
"Oh, hey Dawnie. I'm fine, just trying to um… work through some things," Willow said trying not to let on how terrible she was feeling, but she knew that the teen wasn’t dumb and could see right through her and knew the truth.
"Willow, we're all worried about you. You don't leave the room. I know you’ve hardly eaten. Buffy told me you’ve even missed school. You never miss school - ever, no matter what," Dawn said as she walked into the room and sat down on the bed next to the shell that used to be Willow.
"Dawnie, really I'm ok," Willow said trying to convince the teen that she was ok. "I'm just trying to adjust to life without Tara. Trying to figure out where I go from here and what I can do to get her back."
"Come on Willow, it’s me you're talking to. I miss her too," Dawn said reaching out and taking Willow’s hand. She gave it a quick squeeze.
Willow gulped back the tears that were beginning to well up in her eyes. She didn't want to cry anymore, she didn't want to cry in front of Dawn. Just then they heard Buffy come home - timing was truly everything tonight.
Buffy bound up the stairs wanting to check on her best friend and make sure that she was fine. As she got to the doorway she saw Willow and Dawn sitting on the bed. She could tell that things were not as well as she had hoped.
"Hey guys."
"Hey, Buffy," said Dawn. Willow just smiled wearily.
"Dawn, do you have any homework that you should be doing?"
"Um, yeah I think I have some geometry that I need to stare at blankly for hours," Dawn knew when Buffy wanted her to leave. She squeezed Willow’s hand one more time and then gave her a small hug and headed off to her room.
"Thanks," Willow smiled at Buffy as Dawn left and they heard her bedroom door close.
Buffy sat down on the bed and wrapped her arm around Willow’s shoulders and pulled her close. Willow let her head fall onto Buffy's shoulder. A tear started to roll down her cheek, then another, and another. Buffy pulled her closer and let her best friend cry. No words needed to be said.
*********
After Willow stopped crying she drifted off to sleep. Buffy carefully laid her down and covered her up. She knew that this wasn’t just a normal sleep. It was Willow’s body giving out due to sheer exhaustion. She stood in the doorway for a while just watching her friend toss and turn in a restless fit. It was breaking her heart that she wasn’t able to do anything to help Willow. She knew that the only person that could help her was Tara and that wasn’t going to happen right now. Buffy was hopeful though, that some day they would be able to patch things up and rebuild the trust that had been broken.
Buffy closed the door behind her quietly and went to check on Dawn. She wanted to make sure that Dawn was okay. She knew the separation was going to be almost as hard on her as it was for Willow. Tara had become a surrogate mother, of sorts to Dawn, since their mother passed away. Tara was the one that looked after Dawn while Buffy was dead. Even when she had come back, it was Tara that made sure everything within the house ran smoothly. Everyone ate regular balanced meals, the house-cleaning schedule was always adhered to and Tara kept the house running smoothly. She helped to keep them a family and that was really what they had become, not friends, but a family.
Peeking her head into Dawn’s room, Buffy saw the teen doing what she said she was going to be doing, staring blankly at her Geometry book.
“Hey, please tell me you haven’t been staring like that at the book this whole time,” mused Buffy hoping to get a small smile. She saw Dawn jump a bit at her voice.
“Buffy, um, no I did actually get some stuff done. I’m just having a really hard time concentrating. How’s Willow?”
“She’s sleeping finally. I don’t know for how long, but she’s sleeping. Do you wanna talk or do you need anything? I’m not a wiz with the whole Geometry stuff, but I can try if you need it.” Buffy wanted desperately to make sure that Dawn was okay and for her to know that she was there for her. They had had a rough time for a while, when she first came back, and she was trying desperately to make sure that Dawn knew that she wasn’t going to leave her alone again anytime soon.
“I’m just scared Buffy. I miss Tara so much and it’s been a month and nobody knows where she is or if she’s okay. She’s out there all alone and I don’t even know if she knows that I still love her and want her to be a part of my life…or if she even wants to be a part of my life. I thought she’d have called us by now,” the teen said as she started to shake and tears welled up in her eyes.
Buffy quickly walked over and pulled Dawn into a hug.
“Shh, it’ll be okay. I’m worried about her too. We’re a family and one piece of our family isn’t where it’s supposed to be. I’m certain though that Tara is fine. She just needs a little time to get things worked out in her mind. She loves you, well us, and she isn’t just going to drop out of our lives. That isn’t her style. She has way too big of a heart to let that happen.” Buffy wasn’t sure fully if she was trying to convince herself more of this or trying to calm Dawn down.
“I know, but it’s been a month. Do you have any idea where she might be?”
“She wouldn’t go far. How about this? If you still have a copy of her school schedule, tomorrow I’ll go and see if she is in class and talk to her. I’ll find out if she’s okay. I’ll tell her we miss her and that we’re family, which means that we are here for her, too. I’ll make sure she knows that she isn’t alone and I promise you I will make sure she knows that WE both love her.”
Dawn started to relax a bit, the shaking stopped. Buffy held her for a little bit longer and pulled back a bit and looked at her sister.
“I promise Dawn, it’s going to be okay,” she said as she wiped the last of the tears from Dawn’s face. “Now, its getting late and Tara will kick my Slayer ass if you don’t get to bed soon and get some rest. All we need is for you to get sick and her to find out, cuz you know it’s those quiet, shy ones you gotta watch out for. They may not look it, but wow they have a vengeful side that I really prefer not to mess with.” Both girls started to smile.
“Thanks Buffy. And yeah, I’ve heard about the whole quiet, shy vengeance streak. Anya once told me a story about when she was still a vengeance demon and well, lets just say that Slayer or not, I don’t think you would truly be the one coming out on top if you were to go up against Tara.”
With that, Dawn started to close up her books and get ready for bed. Buffy made her way to her room after checking to make sure that Willow was still asleep. Xander, Anya and Spike had agreed to cover patrolling for her for a few weeks while they adjusted to things and so that she could keep an eye on Willow. Xander and Willow may have been childhood friends, but it was her connection with Buffy that was going to help Willow here.
***********
Awaking with a start, she was drenched in sweat. Her breathing was haggard. Tara slowly got up and walked over to the window, leaning against the side and resting her head on the window as she looked out. There was very little movement outside by the students. Most had learned that in Sunnydale it wasn’t always a great idea to be out after dark, especially if you were alone.
The stars shone bright tonight. Tara’s mind drifted back to that night where her and Willow were laying on the roof, under the stars, going through the constellations or at least Tara’s version of them. She felt a pang in her heart for the closeness and the love that they had shared at that time, and for the loss that came shortly after that, of Buffy’s mom, Joyce. Tara continued to stare at the stars, her body numb from the hurt. Her mind was too active for her to rest. She wondered what Willow was doing and how she was doing.
**********
Willow awoke with a start. She was drenched in sweat and her breathing was haggard. Willow slowly got up and walked over to the window. She stared out the window, resting her hands on the sill. She wondered where Tara was and if she was alright. She wondered if she would ever see her again. She could feel something drawing her to look at the stars. She wasn’t sure why, but she knew that in Sunnydale and on the Hellmouth, you shouldn’t always questions those things.
Looking up at the sky, Willow noticed how bright the stars were. How they almost sparkled. Her mind drifted back to that night, on the rooftop, when her and Tara had been look at the constellations and going over the different ones. She remembered pointing out Canis Minor and Cassiopeia, and how Tara had told her that the actual ones never made sense to her and how she had made up her own. Willow strained a bit, but she was able to find the Big Pineapple, the lil’ pile o’ crackers, and then, there was the moose getting a sponge bath. Willow smiled to herself. It was so cute how Tara could do that, with just a thought or a smile. Her heart was aching for the blonde. She was determined that she was going to get her back. They were meant to be together and she wasn’t going to let anything stop that.
“Magic be dammed! I need her and if it means no magic, then no magic it is!” Willow protested to herself.
**********
Morning arrived and the Summers house was filled with the sounds of people getting ready in a hurry. Buffy had overslept and that meant that Dawn had also. Both girls knew they had to hurry, but they were in an extra hurry so that they could each spend a few minutes or so with Willow, before they left.
Dawn peaked her head into Willow’s room, and for the first time in a month she saw a sign of life from her. There was a little more color in Willow’s face today.
“Hey Dawn, come in for a minute,” smiled Willow as she looked up and saw the teen standing there. Dawn walked in and sat down on the bed next to Willow.
“Hey Will, I didn’t mean to wake you…”
“Oh, no you didn’t, I swear. I was just thinking about things. I’ve been up for a while now. I know that this has been hard on you, too. Be honest, how are you doing?” Willow asked, not sure she was ready to hear the answer, but she needed to know.
“It’s hard and it hurts, but I know that somehow it’s going to work out and we’ll be a family again,” she said as Buffy walked up to the door and started to smile.
“Hey guys.”
“Buffy, I swear I didn’t wake her up,” said the teen as if she had just been busted for something she shouldn’t have been doing.
“Its true Buffy, I was up,” Willow added knowing that she didn’t need to, but she wanted to help ease Dawn’s nerves. “Come in for a sec and have a seat. There’s something that I actually need to talk to you two about. And yes, I’ll keep the Willow-babble to a minimum, since I know you’re running late,” she added with a smile.
“Ok, so what’s up?” asked Buffy.
“First off, I’m sorry. I know that this has been hard on both of you and well I don’t know how much harder it is going to get. If you want me to leave at any point, just say so,” she started and halted both girls from interjecting at that moment. “Please let me finish first, or it may never happen. I know that I messed up, big-time. I know that it’s going to be me that has to work to fix it. Tara is my world. She’s my everything. I’m going to get her back, because I’m not whole without her.” A tear slowly rolled down the red heads face. “I did a lot of thinking last night, and my abusing magic was the start of all of this…I know that now and I’m ready to pay for my actions. I lied to you both and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me, and that you are both willing to help me get through this, because I’m not going to be able to do it alone. What I need is to get rid of all of the magic stuff in the house. I’m going cold turkey…I know what that means in terms of other addictions, but I have no clue what to expect from this. So I’m kinda hoping that I can count on you two to help me through it. That is the start of my plan to get Tara back. I know it’s going to be a day to day thing, but I need her.”
“We’re a family Willow, of course we are going to be here to help you, whatever, whenever. You don’t even need to ask or worry about that,” said Dawn as she took both Buffy’s hand and Willow’s hand and gave them a quick squeeze. Tears started to well up in all three girls eyes, and each was trying to choke them back because they knew that if one started the rest were going to follow suit.
“I second what Dawn said and just so you know Will, today I’m going to go to the campus to check on Tara and make sure she knows that we are a family and we are here for her, too,” Buffy said hoping that she wasn’t going to make things worse, but she wasn’t going to lie to Willow either.
“Thanks, Buffy. I’m truly worried about her. And thank you both. You know I love you guys, right?” Willow pulled them all into a group hug.
“We love you too, Willow and it’s going to be ok, I swear it,” Buffy said as she glanced at the clock and noticed that they needed to get going.
“Ok, I’m going to hold you to that Buffy! You guys better get going or you’re going to be way late. Oh, and Dawn, she does truly love you like a sister. Tara that is, you know that right?”
“Yeah, I think deep down I do, but I still want her here where I can tell her that I love her too,” Dawn said with a small wink to Willow.
With that they headed out the door, Dawn headed to school and Buffy headed to campus to see if she could find Tara.
**********
Tara awoke feeling a bit more at ease with things. She wasn’t sure why, but she had felt something last night while she was looking at the stars. Something that told her that the worst might be over, but it was still going to take time and lots of it.
Tara knew she couldn’t miss any more classes so she got herself ready, slipping into blue jeans and a burgundy t-shirt and headed out the door. She wasn’t sure why she had done it, but she had signed up for Psychology as her first period class. Who in their right mind would choose to have Psychology first thing in the morning, she thought to herself as she walked across campus.
Out of the corner of her eye, racing towards her, Tara thought she saw Buffy. She shook it off. Why would Buffy be on campus, unless something was wrong with Willow. Her heart started to race and she started to look around to find the person she thought was Buffy. Just then she saw Buffy running towards her waving.
“Tara wait,” she heard Buffy call. She stopped and waited for the petite blonde to catch up to her. Buffy was trying to catch her breath.
“Buffy, is everything okay? Is Willow okay?” She didn’t want to wait, but with how out of breath Buffy appeared to be, she knew she was going to have to.
“Hi,” Buffy said as soon as she caught her breath and smiled at Tara. “Everything is as okay as it can be, and yes, Willow is as ok ay as she gets. I just needed to talk to you. Do you have a few minutes?” Buffy wasn’t truly going to give Tara an option to get out of this conversation, but she wanted to at least appear to be polite in the matter.
“Well, I was on my way to Psych, but who the hell wants to go to that first thing in the morning anyway,” replied Tara as she motioned towards a bench that was now free near them. Both girls walked over to the bench and sat down. Buffy played with her hand for a couple seconds trying to get her thoughts in order. She knew what she wanted to say, but she didn’t exactly know how to say it all.
“Buffy?” Tara asked with a very concerned tone. She had never seen Buffy stressing over things so much. Not even when they were dealing with the whole Glory issue. Tara didn’t remember a lot of that time because of what Glory had done to her, but she did remember bits and pieces of it.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m not good with words, you know that so please let me stumble through this and then you can say whatever it is you have to say. If you interrupt, I may totally lose my train of thought,” she said looking up towards Tara and seeing the concern in her face.
“Okay.”
“Tara, first off, I need you to know that Dawn and I love you and we’re a family, so if you need anything ever – we’re here. I know things are really messed up right now and I can’t imagine what you are feeling or thinking or going through, but know that you aren’t alone. Dawn and I miss you a lot, we’ve been going nuts worrying about how you were doing and where you were – I know it took me a month to come here to say this, but I figured you needed some time. Dawn and I both still want to spend time with you – so plan on getting sick of seeing us, because you’re going to see a lot of us.” She looked Tara in the eyes and smiled to let her know that this was truly coming from the heart and that she wasn’t just saying this stuff to make it look like she cared or something.
“Buffy, I…” was all she got out before Tara found her mouth being covered by Buffy’s hand.
“I believe I asked for no interruptions,” joked Buffy as she pulled her hand away from Tara’s mouth. “Thank you. Now, where was I…oh yeah, us hanging around. Living in the house with us, or not, we’re a family and families stick together through the good and bad times. Right now, I’m thinking, qualifies as a bad time. We need you in our lives, Tara. You have so much to offer and there is so much we can learn still from you. Please don’t let us ever lose that.” Buffy choked back the feelings starting to well up inside her, but she kept her eye contact with Tara. “Willow is trying. I don’t know what all went on last night with her, but today she said she is going cold turkey off the magic. She asked Dawn and I to help her get all the magic stuff out of the house. She admitted that she messed up and that she has a long way to go, but she is really willing to try. I just hope that she hasn’t totally blown it with you. I know that there really isn’t anything she can do to make up for what she’s done, and I don’t expect you to just forgive her for it. Just please, if you even have an ounce of love left, or if there is a chance, please don’t close the door. Where are you living? Do you need anything? How are you doing?”
“Wow that is a hell of a thought, Buffy,” smiled Tara after a short silence so she knew that she wasn’t going to interrupt the Slayer again.
“Yeah, like lightning, little flashes every now and then.” Both girls started to giggle, which was needed as things were getting a bit intense and serious.
“Well for starters, I love you and Dawn too. I was kinda hoping that I wasn’t going to lose you both in this whole mess, but I know that Willow was there before me…and I didn’t really know where that would leave us. Right now I’m actually living in my old dorm room – the one I had when Willow and I first started to date. There are a lot of good memories there, which is hard at times, but it also helps me feel not so alone. Right now the only thing I can think of that I need is an oracle or something that will tell me that everything is going to be okay. And well, I don’t know if that even exists. I’m hurting though, still crying myself to sleep. God Buffy, I miss her so much, but what she did was beyond terrible. She stole my memories, and then lied to my face, looking me in the eyes…but hearing you say she wants to try to get past the magic helps me think there might still be a shot for us. It’s going to take time though – lots of time. Trust has been broken, lies have been told – you can’t just pick up as if nothing has changed.”
“I know Tara, just please know you aren’t alone and whatever we can do to help, Dawn, Willow and I are here. I can’t speak for Xander and Anya, but I know they’ll be there too. I do have two requests, though. One, can you please call and tell Dawn you’re okay? If you don’t want to talk to Willow, I’ll make sure she isn’t near the phone, and secondly, please can we spend time together, either you and I, or even with Dawn. I know she could use it and well, frankly so can I.”
“Of course Buffy and…um…actually if I call, I’d actually…um…k-k-kinda l-l-like it if…um…Willow answered. I can hear her voice and t-t-tell her myself I’m okay.” Tara didn’t know why she was all of a sudden stuttering, but it might have something to do with the nerves and talking to Willow, but she had to hear her voice.
“Promise. Ok, I’m late for work and you need to get to class. Thanks Tara and how about calling tonight at seven?” Buffy said pulling Tara into a huge hug.
“Seven is great. Thanks Buffy.” With that Tara headed to class and Buffy to work.
**********
Buffy was watching the clock closely. She had checked it six times in the past ten minutes. It was just about seven and she knew that Tara was going to be calling soon. Tara was the only person missing from the house tonight. Anya and Xander had come over and brought dinner. They figured with Tara gone there wasn’t much cooking going on. Buffy and Willow had become pro’s at setting the smoke detector off and well Dawn had only one cooking experience and that involved the fire department, so she was banned from the kitchen.
Everyone was gathered in the living room watching TV. Buffy had strategically placed Willow next to the phone so that she would be the one to get the call. She checked the clock again.
“Geez Buff, you late for something? You keep checking that clock every twenty seconds,” Xander stated busting her on it.
“Yeah Buffy, are we keeping you from something? Did something happen today?” asked Dawn. Buffy hadn’t told her a lot about the conversation she had with Tara because Willow had been there. All they had been told was that Tara was safe and okay and that she loved them.
“Oh, um, no… just had a, um, time issue today. Ever since I overslept today, I’ve been feeling a bit odd. Sorry.” Buffy didn’t think that anyone was going to buy that, but she saw it was one minute to seven so she just had to make it until the phone rang.
Ring! Ring!
“Um, Willow, you’re closest can you grab that?” Buffy said hoping nobody else jumped for the phone.
“Sure,” Willow said grabbing the phone. “Hello.”
“Um, h-h-hey Willow…” came the voice on the other line. Willow’s breath caught. She’d know that stutter anywhere. A smirk ran across Buffy’s face as everyone’s attention was focused on Willow.
“Tara, baby, is that you?” Willow only asked because she thought she had to be dreaming. She was so in shock she didn’t notice the jaw dropping of everyone in the room, but Buffy.
“Yeah, sweetie, it’s me,” responded Tara as a tear rolled down her face. She missed hearing Willow call her baby, so much. Almost as much as she missed holding Willow in her arms. Willow’s eyes were filling with tears as Buffy slid over and put her hand on her best friends shoulder for support.
“How are you? God I miss you and I’m so sorry…” she started as the tears began to fall and Buffy pulled her closer. Everyone started to find another place to look. Xander and Dawn were looking at the TV, but their full attention was centered on the red head and the love of her life on the other end of the line. Spike decided that he really liked the craftsmanship of the chair he was sitting in. Buffy was holding Willow, but glaring at Anya who was the only one still staring at Willow.
“I’m surviving. Buffy and I had a good talk today. I miss you too…but I still love you. You’ve gotta know that, sweetie. I need to talk to Dawn, right now, but, um, if you don’t mind, can I call you back later tonight. I have some stuff that I want to talk to you about, but right now isn’t the right time and I’m guessing that you probably have several people there. I’m willing to bet money that right now Anya is the only one staring at you,” Tara said with a small giggle. Willow looked around the room and sure enough that was true to fact.
“Anytime, baby. I’ll have the phone with me tonight. Let me get Dawn.” Willow handed the phone to Dawn who was now grinning from ear to ear.
“Tara?” said the teen.
“Hey Dawnie. How are you?”
“Oh my god it is you…” Dawn jumped off the couch and headed to another room. She wasn’t going to share this call with the group. As she left, everyone turned their attention to Willow, who was sitting there in shock, but this time for a good reason.
“Dawnie, you ok? I know this has been hard on you, and I’m sorry. You have to know that I love you very much and I’m always going to be here for you. You know that right?” Tara had thought a lot about the conversation she had with Buffy, earlier in the day, and she realized how hard this had to be on Dawn. She had been through so much, with finding out she was the key, then Joyce and Buffy’s deaths, Buffy coming back, Giles leaving and now this.
“Tara, I’m better now that I can talk to you. I love you Tara and I’ve been so worried about you. When we didn’t know where you were and you didn’t call…” Dawn started to cry, the emotion of everything just over took her.
“Shh, sweetie, please don’t cry. It’s going to be fine. I’m not going anywhere, and we are going to spend lots of time together. I promise,” Tara said trying to reassure Dawn. She was willing to do almost whatever it took to get her to stop crying.
“I’m sorry I didn’t want to cry. Who ordered emotions that you can’t control anyway?” Dawn giggled now that she had gotten control of her emotions. “I just miss you. Where are you staying? Buffy didn’t really tell us much, other than you were okay and that that you were safe.”
“I’m staying on campus. And I know better than to go outside at dark. How are your classes going? Did you pass that test you had last week that we worked so hard on?”
“Um, yeah classes have been a little rough for about a month now. I did pass that test, though. Every trick you taught me worked. I remembered it all.”
”Good, I’m glad you passed. I didn’t mean to make things rougher for you. I just needed some time to get my head together. I’m so sorry…I promise I will call and we will get together more often. I’m going to call and talk to Willow later tonight. We have some stuff to work though.”
“I know. I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty, Tara. I just meant that you are such a big part of my life. We’re family and I worry about my family. I’m glad that you and Willow are going to talk. Buffy told me that things are going to take time, but you both love one another so that helps. I know this may be out of line, but you and I had planned to go to the art fair this weekend – are we still going?”
“Of course we’re still going. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather look at old pictures, painted by people with more talent that I could ever dream of, with. I need to get going now, but I’ll call you tomorrow and we can get everything worked out. Okay?”
“Sweet! Thanks Tara. I can’t wait to see you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you and I miss you.”
“I love you too, sweetie and I miss you very much. Tell Willow I’ll call her later. Bye.”
“Bye,” said Dawn as she hung up the phone and walked back into the living room where she was greeted by everyone’s stares. Nobody had said a word since Dawn left the room. Willow was just sitting there. Buffy was holding her. Xander, Spike, and Anya went back to watching TV. Dawn set the phone back on the base next to Willow.
“You feel better now?” asked Buffy as Dawn sat down next to her and Willow.
“Yeah, thanks Buffy. Willow, Tara asked me to tell you she will call later.”
“Thanks Dawn. Not that I want to question anything, but, um, Buffy, did you happen to know that Tara was going to call tonight?” Willow asked as she turned to look Buffy in the eyes.
“She may have said something about calling and followed it with a time and a request for you to answer. I really don’t remember…” was all Buffy was able to get out before she was sandwiched into a hug between her sister and her best friend.
“Thanks, Buffy,” they said in unison.
The rest of the night seemed to drag for Willow. She wasn’t sure what Tara had to talk to her about, but she was so happy that she was talking to her and that she was okay.
**********
Everyone left around ten o’clock. Buffy and Dawn cleaned up the empty cans and paper plates left over from dinner. Willow sat on the couch wondering what time Tara was going to call and what they were going to talk about.
“Hey Will, why don’t you take the phone and go upstairs and get some rest until Tara calls,” Buffy called from the kitchen.
“Ok, Buffy, if you’re sure you don’t need my help with anything.”
“I think Dawn and I are capable of throwing away paper plates and cans. If we have any questions we’ll come up and ask you though.”
With that, Willow headed up the stairs. She walked into the room and closed the door behind her. That afternoon, her and Dawn had gone through the room and removed anything that was magical. She hadn’t realized how much of their knickknacks were used for magic, until then. The room was starting to look a little bare. Willow perched herself on the bed setting the phone next to her and grabbing the picture of her and Tara off the nightstand. It was a picture taken shortly after they had told everyone about them being a couple. She smiled at the picture and how truly happy they were. Just then the phone rang.
“Hello?” she said.
“Hey Willow, I d-d-didn’t wake you did I?” came the voice from the other end of the phone.
“Nope, I was just sitting here looking at a picture of us. Thank you for calling tonight and for arranging for me to, um, answer the phone. As much as it meant to me, I know it meant the world to Dawn. It was the first time since everything went down that I truly saw her smile.”
“I’m sorry it took so long, and hey, how did you know or, um, who s-s-said I arranged for you to, um, answer t-t-the phone?” Tara asked when it finally registered what Willow had said.
“Oh, this little bird may have mentioned it after the phone call…but there were no confirmations made as to if it truly happened or not. Well, not until now at least,” Willow said playfully.
“Ok, so I know that I should never conspire with Buffy again,” laughed Tara. This felt awkward but they were talking which was a great start.
“Well, she’s okay. It’s just she can’t keep the details to herself. It works better when you have one other person involved. Then she can talk to them. Holding it in hurts her, I think.”
“I see, well as much as I love talking about Buffy, she isn’t why I’m calling. I wanted to talk to you, about us, and where we go from here.”
Wow, that was pretty blunt and bold – and with no stutters, this can’t be good, thought Willow.
“I love you so much, Willow. I know what I want, but I don’t truly know what you want. So I’m, um, calling to find out what it is you want and we can kinda go from there.”
“What I want? I want you, Tara. That is all I want…you’re my everything baby. You are the only reason I ever need to wake up, to breathe, to live. I feel like I’m dying without you here. I know I messed up, I know that I was wrong and I have a problem.” Willow was starting to cry, she couldn’t help it, nor could she stop it. Tears were streaming down her face. The picture that was in her lap of them together was covered in teardrops.
“Shh, sweetie. I love you too. Please don’t cry honey. I’m sorry…I just mean that I didn’t know if you still wanted us and if you were still willing to work through this problem. I’m not complete without you, either. I know that and it hurts me to be apart.” Tara was now beginning to cry.
“I love you baby, so much. I will do whatever it takes to get you back and to earn your trust again. I know we have a long way to go – but I’ll do whatever, you just say the word and it’s done. I’m so sorry. Please, do we still have a chance?”
“Willow, of course we still have a chance. We have more than a chance. You are the only person that I want to share my life with. This is going to take some time, though. I want to take this slow, make sure that we are both ready and that we both know the consequences of our actions. I know that I have some stuff that I have to work on as well.”
“Oh, Tara, just knowing that you are willing to give me a chance to make this better. That is all I could ever ask for. Slow is good. I like slow...slow works for turtles, snails, slow works for Xander on a lot of things too…”
“Willow honey, as much as I love it when you babble, come back to me,” Tara giggled. Willow’s heart skipped a beat when she heard Tara giggle.
“Um, Tara, I have a question for you and well I don’t really know how to ask it gracefully, so can you please excuse me if it doesn’t come out the right way.”
“Ok, sure Willow, honey, you know you can ask me anything…”
Willow took a deep breath, she wasn’t sure if she should say anything now, but she needed to know.
“Last night, about 2:30 were you looking up at the stars and thinking of me?”
Tara was shocked at the question. How could Willow have known that? Nobody was around and she hadn’t told Buffy or anyone for that matter.
“Tara?”
“I’m here, sorry… yeah I was, h-h-how did you know that?”
“It was just a hunch. I was looking out at the stars going over the Tara Constellations and I just had this warm feeling inside and it felt like I wasn’t alone. I was just curious if it was you.”
“I had the same feeling, Will,” Tara said and she all of a sudden understood why she felt more at ease today and where the overwhelming desire was to work this out came from.
“Tara?”
“Yeah?”
”I love you.”
“I love you, too. I should probably get off to bed. I have an early class tomorrow. I’m going to be going out with Dawn this weekend, but could we maybe get together for maybe coffee in the next couple days?”
“You tell me when and where to be and I’m there.” Willow was now grinning and feeling flush. She was going out on a coffee date with Tara.
“How about I call you tomorrow and we’ll plan it then?”
“Perfect. I’ll be here. I do have a WA class tomorrow night, but other than that I have no plans.”
“WA?” questioned the blonde.
“Witchcraft Anonymous. I found them online today and they have a group open to newbies starting tomorrow night. I wasn’t just saying that I plan on kicking this to get you back, Tara. I’m really trying to do this, for me and for us.”
“Wow, Willow, that’s great. I’m very proud of you. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon then. I love you so much, Willow. Sweet dreams tonight, sweetie.”
“I love you too. Extra sweet dreams to you, too. Good night.”
With that they hung up the phone, both feeling more content with where things stood and seeing that the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t another oncoming train.
**********
TBC… 
please let them like it 
A dream is a wish the heart makes.
Willow: "You had two eggs, sunny-side-up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs."
Tara: "Sassy Eggs."
Edited by: xita 
at: 10/13/02 12:21:04 am
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That was an AMAZIN start! I really Loved it!! 
Ok, so it does my frail ego good to hear people say that...truly though Thank You!!
Buffy and Tara's talk was sweet and there are just too many others to get through. Great, wonderful stuff and i can't wait for more. 
The memory parts were very well done. More please!