False Euphoria (AU) *Complete*

[LittleBit]

please continue writing!

[sadie]

Random fainting, not of the good...! Though I'd happily faint anytime if I'd land in Tara's lap... It's a great idea for them to move in together! Wonder where they'll end up when they finally get off that stupid bus! It's not good for them! ;)

[Laragh]

Oh god I am so in love with this story.

Willow so besotted and Tara all caring and I'm definitely concerned about Willow's fainting but they're both just so cute.

I really, really can't wait for more!!!

[taranwillow4ever]

Enjoying it tremendously please keep it up.

[AmberGoddess]

Taralover- Yeah, she really is. Cute, isn't it?

arsyadriani- I shall gladly provide more! And look! Here it is.

Zampsa1975- Willow has some stuff to say, yeah.

LittleBit- As I told arsyadriani, more is right here

sadie- No, fainting bad, really not fun. Tara is a tempting pillow though. The bus is also not the best setting. Kinda cramped.

Laragh- I'm glad you like it! They are cute, it's fun to write.

taranwillow4ever- Glad you're enjoying it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Title: False Euphoria

Author: Ambergoddess

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah

Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.

Rating: Ummm... for now, PG-13, get to more later

Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.

Spoilers: None

Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?

Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Seven



"Wow."



"Yep."



"I mean… wow."



"Yep."



Both me and Tara were struck speechless when we got off the bus in busy LA. It was so different from what I had come from- small-town Sunnydale, not so much with the bustle. Or the people. I didn't know where Tara came from, but I was betting it wasn't anything like this either.



Thinking about it, I realized I didn't know all that much about Tara. I mean, I knew she liked classic rock, and lemon-lime sorbet with caramel, and had a thing for kittens, but that was all surface stuff. The big things- where she came from, why she left, her last name- that was all a mystery.



I shut down the inquisitive side of my brain- it was her business, she'd tell me when she was ready.



"So now what? We're here, we have a plan, but where do we go? I mean, neither of us has an apartment here, and I'm guessing it takes some time to get one. Maybe we should get a motel room until we find a place. It shouldn't take that long, right?" This had been bugging me for a while. It was all well and good to have a plan, but putting it into action required a little more, well, action.



"A motel is fine, do we have enough money? I'm guessing jobs are needed." Oh. Crap. Another thing I had to think about. Tara was right, though, money was an issue. Unless…



"Well, there might be something I can do about the money thing. My parents left me, a trust fund you could say. It's not supposed to be opened until my eighteenth birthday, but if I could get the number of the account, I could hack into it, transfer the money to another account, and withdraw it all. Then we can open a new account and put it all in there but it would be usable this time."



It could work. The problem? It was A) illegal, B) tricky, and C) could lead anyone looking for me right to LA. I'd have to go somewhere else to withdraw the money, since the transfer could be traced.



It seemed Tara had similar thoughts. "Isn't that, um, illegal?"



"Well, yeah, but it's my money anyway, not like I'm cracking open some random guy's life savings. Although I could do that-" Here she raised her eyebrow at me, "but I wouldn't, because it's immoral and wrong." I nodded decisively, then peeked to see if I was in trouble.



She frowned at me. I quailed, and started babbling. "I mean it! No random stealing for me. I wouldn't do that, really I wouldn't, and I probably couldn't even if I tried, which I haven't, and-"



Finally, her glowering exterior cracked. First a smile showed, then a grin, and all of a sudden she burst out laughing. I gaped.



"Oh, god, your face! You should have seen it, so priceless, I mean-" Her laughter choked her sentence off, and she doubled over.



"Ooooh, you evil girl, I'll get you for that!" I dropped my bags and pounced, grabbing her and ticking her mercilessly. Or at least I tried. In a move so smooth it seemed choreographed, she swung away and grabbed me.



"What was that you were saying? You'll get me? How'd that work out for you?" She smirked in my face. Her sudden closeness took my senses by surprise. I had NOT expected her to be in my face, and my mind reacted like a steel trap.



"Uhhh, huh?" I blinked. Then blinked again. Did she say something? "Oh! Actually quite well." I smirked right back at her, then latched onto her hands and tugged. Thrown off-balance, she landed smoothly in my arms, and I held on tight. "Yep, quite well."



I gloated for a second, then registered that not only wasn't she laughing, she was tense and trembling in my arms. "Tara? You okay?" I let go of her. She pulled back, wrapping her arms around her. Well, crap.



Suddenly, memory hit me like a slap in the face. Her bruises! I had completely forgotten them! Oh, god, she must be terrified of me! How stupid do you get? Grabbing someone who is obviously used to being hurt? God, you're a fucking retard, aren't you?



"Oh, god, Tara, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking, and then the grabbing, and the pulling. Did I hurt you? I totally forgot about the bruises, you must be so terrified of me. I'll go now, I'm sorry." I picked up my bags, and turned to go.



"W-what? No! Willow, wait. Y-you saw the bruises?" She seemed even more scared now than she did when I grabbed her. Quickly, I moved to reassure her.



"Yeah, but it's okay, you don’t have to tell me. It's your business, I won't push for details." I meant it, too. I hadn't let go of my bags yet, still worried she wouldn’t want anything else to do with me.



"No, I want to. Um, can we get a motel room first? It's not so much a long story, but it's… hard, and I'd like to be comfy when I tell you. And the money thing? It's a good idea." And for at least the third time since getting on the bus, Tara stunned me. This entire day had moved so fast.



When I woke up this morning I was a girl with nothing, leaving home in secret. Now, just hours later, I had a future, a roommate, and most importantly, a friend who trusted me with an obviously painful past. I decided then, returning the favor was the least I could do.



"Sure, Tara. I'll find a phone book and get us booked in. And, um, I have some things I want to tell you too." Then we'll talk. And do I have some things to tell you.

[Taralover]

Naughty Willow lol.Still, it is her money.

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I like naughty Willow... Good that Tara is willing to tell Willow her story and Willow to tell Tara her story...

[Laragh]

It's totally her money. She shouldn't feel bad about it.

I'm glad their gonna tell their stories. Can only bring them closer. And closer-ness can lead to . Not that I'm pushing 'cause I love how this is progressing so far.

You're a really awesome writer and I can't wait to read more.

[AmberGoddess]

Taralover- It is. I don't like her parents, so I'm giving her free rein to do whatever she wants with the money they give her.

Zampsa1975- Everyone loves naughty Willow!

Laragh- She shouldn't feel bad. Don't worry, I intend for smoochies soon. Just a few more crises. Thanks for you feedback, I'm glad you like it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Title: False Euphoria

Author: Ambergoddess

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah

Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.

Rating: Ummm... for now, PG-13, get to more later

Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.

Spoilers: None

Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?

Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Eight



We made the trip to the motel I'd found in silence. I could sense that she was nervous, curled into herself as we walked. It worried me, even from where I was I could see her trembling.



Does she think I'll leave, if she tells me? Not likely, if anything, she'll leave me! Luckily, it wasn't a long walk, since the entire time I was battling with my brain.



I have to tell her! She's trusting me, and it would be bad to back out now! She'll leave you, you're not good enough for her. Well then, that's her choice isn't it? Do you really want to risk it? Just don't tell her, and maybe you'll keep one friend in your life. By lying to her? That. Would. Be. WRONG! What part of that are you NOT getting? And why the hell am I arguing with myself? Agh!



After I had so decisively won my argument with myself, I realized we were here. Looking over at Tara, I saw she wasn't as aware as I was- she was about to walk right past it. I gently grabbed her arm, tugging her to a stop and pointing wordlessly. She nodded, and walked in. This wasn't gonna be easy, for either of us.



The slimy kid at the counter leered at us when I got us a room. Tara cringed away from his obviously suggestive stare, making me glare back at him as we left for our room. I was thankful there was a double for us, since I got the feeling Tara wouldn't be comfortable sharing a bed.



"We should unpack. Will we be here long enough to unpack?" Who knows how long it could take to find an apartment in LA.



"I-I don't know. I'm used t-to living out of my suitcase, though. C-can we talk first? I'm gonna l-lose my nerve if I don't get this out s-soon." She was right, I could tell. She had gone from trembling to shaking, and was really pale.



"Yeah, okay. Do you want to go first, or shall I?" Her choice. If I went first, I'd get mine out there, maybe show her that I was just as messed up, no, scratch that, MORE messed up than her.



On the other hand, she might not be able to keep her resolve up long enough if she had to wait more. Bitch of a choice.



We sat in silence for a moment, then without any warning, she stood up and stripped off her shirt. For a second I was dumbstruck- why the hell was this girl shy? Gorgeous- that was the only way to describe her. Then I looked past the yummy curviness, and saw what I assumed she meant to show me.



Bruises decorated her skin, up and down and all around. What patches of clear skin she had were small and few. Her stomach was the worst, though. It was nearly black in places, and there was a mark right under her breasts that I was sure displayed broken ribs.



Up her arms were the definite finger marks I'd spotted on the bus, at least two sets, maybe three. Three people wanted her to suffer? What kind of morons are they?



The thing that chilled me most, though, was the half-healed wound on her right side. From the angle I was at, I couldn't tell exactly what it was, only that it was recent, and serious.



As she moved to sit down again, she began to speak. "My mother died eight months ago, right after I turned seventeen. It was my sophomore year of high school. My father and brother are incredibly devout Catholics, and they never approved of my mother and I. We're Wiccan, and to them, that directly challenged the Church. Whenever they found us practicing, or doing a ritual, they would get so angry. My father would shout and quote Scripture at us, and if he was in a particularly bad mood, he would b-beat us.



"My brother was worse- he was an animal. He loved to make us hurt. While my mother was alive, she would take my beatings for me, and wouldn't let them hurt me. When she d-died, though, that all changed. It was my father's fault- he said she had a demon inside of her, and that it was exacting its price for her evil. Her wouldn't take her to a doctor, and eventually the c-cancer killed her. He, he changed, afterwards.



"He started to drink, and the beatings came more and more often. I was pretty much their slave, doing chores and cooking for them. I probably would have stayed, since I thought that was where I belonged. I've been told my whole life that I'm bad, and dirty.



"Last month, though, Dad and Donny came home really drunk, worse then usual. I had burned myself cooking dinner, so I wasn't ready yet. They were so mad. That's where most of this comes from." Here she gestured vaguely to the bruises.



"They, they hit me, and when I fell, they just kept kicking me. Then Donny, he r-r-r-" she broke down crying, harsh sobs that ripped out of her chest. She bent over, hiding her face in her hands. I wanted to comfort her, but I knew she had to get it out. So, I compromised.



Scooting over, I wrapped her in my arms. "Did he- did he rape you, Tara?" She nodded mutely and tried to pull out of my arms. I tightened my hold, rubbing circles on her back. She turned her face into my neck and kept talking.



"When he finished with me, I tried to run, I tried! But he was there, and Dad was too, and before I knew it, I was on the ground and there was a knife in my side. I was screaming through most of this, but I guess no one heard me. Dad and Donny started fighting then, and must have forgotten about me. Like I said, really drunk. I ran out, somehow, and made it to my neighbor's house without collapsing. The last thing I saw was her staring at me before I passed out.



"I woke up in the hospital. It was so scary, and I knew that my father could get to me in here. He has a silver tongue, can talk his way into anything. So as soon as I was strong enough, I ran again. I slept in the park for a week or so before I got my strength back. I snuck back to my house, got my stuff, stole all the money I could find, and got on a bus. I've been sleeping on buses and on the ground for almost a week. Then I met you, and here I am."



Throughout this entire thing, I had kept her in my arms. Now I laughed, short and sharp. She glanced sharply up at me, almost comical in her disbelief.



"No, Tara, I'm not laughing at you. It's just, we're a screwed up pair, aren't we?" I rolled up my sleeves, displaying the latticework of cuts there. My left arm still had a bandage covering my latest one, the one I'd made only minutes before meeting her.



She didn't say anything, just traced the half-healed wounds gently.



"My story in a nutshell- I've been alone my entire life, couldn't take it anymore, cut myself for a while, then jumped off a cliff. Wiped out my existence in Sunnydale and got on the bus for LA this morning. Ow!" Tara jerked her hand back.



"Sorry." I barely heard her, clutching the arm to me. The light pressure on my newest cut seemed to trigger something. All of a sudden, my headache, forgotten until now, came rushing back.



"No, it's okay, just a headache, and some heat, and- oooh boy, that hurts." Lances of pain were shooting up my arm. Now Tara looked even more worried. Ignoring my protests, she pulled my arm to her and yanked off the bandage.



"OW! Trying to kill me? What's the- oh, crap." The cut from the bus was bright red, with red lines extending outwards. "That's not good, is it?"



She shook her head. "It's infected. We need to get you to a hospital."



"No! Hospital means records! They can find me with records! Don't let them find me, they'll bring me back. I don't want to go back, I want to stay with you!" I was losing coherency, the pain from my arm beginning to overwhelm me. Don't leave me! Don't make me go back. I don't want to be invisible again!



"All right, I think I can treat this. Not like I don't have enough practice." This last was mumbled, not for me to hear. I heard it anyway, filing it away to ask about later.



"Um, Tara? It's bad when the world goes black right?" She looked up, alarmed. "Thought so. Catch me?"



She jumped, grabbing me as I passed out. I saw her wince, clutching her side, and the last thing I heard was this: "Stay with me Willow! Fight, ro?ii frumoase."



I decided to wake up and ask her about that later. Right now, I was busy. The world went black.

[Taralover]

Poor Tara, going through that hell.

[Laragh]

God that sucks for Tara. That's just...awful. Not even words.

I hope Willow doesn't get too sick with this infected wound. I love how she asked Tara to catch her though. In less horrifying cirumstances it would be adorably cheesy.

Such an awesome story and the speediness of your updates is very, very pleasing!!

Can't wait for more!!

[AmberGoddess]

Taralover- I hated Tara's parents in the actual show, so I gave her a reason to either them or never see them again.

Laragh- I have a sick and twisted imagination, I know. I couldn't pass up the opportunity for such a cute cliche. On the speedy updates- two in one day good for you?

This is a shorter update, but I hope you don't mind so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Title: False Euphoria

Author: Ambergoddess

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah

Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.

Rating: Ummm... for now, PG-13, get to more later

Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.

Spoilers: None

Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?

Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Nine



"Oh, oww."



For the second time in as many weeks, I woke up in the hospital. Blinking groggily, I looked around. How'd I get here? This isn't typical Sunnydale decor. A flash of gold caught my eye. My head spun rapidly, searching for the source of the gold. I found it quickly.



Tara was sitting in a chair next to me. Well, slouching would be a better word. She was practically laying on my bed, with only her legs in the chair. Well, that explained how I got here. I shifted, trying to ease the ache in my legs that came from far too much time stationary. "Ow. Oh, fun."



"Huh? Willow? Oh, thank the Goddess! You're awake! How do you feel?" Oops. I hadn't meant to wake Tara up. Seemed like she needed rest.



"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. You should sleep more." I barely paused at that, and just jumped headfirst back into my babble. "What happened, how'd I get here, and how long have I been here? Oh, god, I didn't go into another coma, did I? Two comas in a week is bad. Even if I do feel better. Sore, but better." I knew I was babbling, but I couldn't seem to stop.



"No, Willow not a coma. Wait, when were you in a coma before? Nevermind, you've been in here for a couple hours. I brought you in when you passed out. You scared me, you know? Don't do that to me." She smiled at me, brave front and all, but I could see that underneath she had been seriously worried.



"Yeah, not something I plan on making a habit out of. So not worth the effort. Are you all right?" My sentence had started out flippantly, but changed at the end to something much more sincere. Tara looked like hell- this was the second time today I'd freaked her out by passing out. God, this was the second time today I'd freaked myself out! "Yep, no more passing out. I can do that."



Again she smiled, but this time it looked more real. I thought back over what had happened. "Okay, I remember being in the motel, and I showed you my cuts. You touched one, and it hurt. It was infected?" Off her nod I continued. "I felt awful, then everything started to fade to black. Last thing I remember is you. What did you call me?" I was genuinely curious. It hadn't sounded like any language I had heard before.



For some reason, she blushed. "Um, I said 'ro?ii frumoase'. It's Romanian, my mom's side of the family were all gypsies, so she taught me some things. I'm sorry about bringing you here, I know you didn't want to go, I just kinda panicked." Her attempt at changing the subject was not lost upon me.



"Good try. What does ro-, ros-, um, that phrase mean?" There was no way I was going to let this go. Guess she could see that.



"Beautiful red." She looked down, blushing again, then seemed to gather her courage and looked back up at me. There was a look in her eye that I couldn't decipher, but I could easily see fear and hope warring in her lovely azure eyes.



"That is so sweet!" And it really was. No one ever cared enough to give me a nickname, let alone such a flattering one. "Hey, no fair! I don't speak another language, well except for some Spanish and a teeny bit of Latin."



She choked a laugh out, then started laughing uncontrollably. Before I could do anything other than sit up, her laughter had turned into sobs. I pulled her up to sit on the bed next to me and rocked her, her head buried in my chest as she cried. "Hey, hey, now, its all good, I'm okay, you're okay- you are okay?" She nodded. "Well then, nothing's gonna stop us from getting a newspaper and finding a place. Then we enroll in the high school here, graduate at the top of our class, and get a scholarship to a good school. See? Everything's fine."



I could only imagine what Tara must have been feeling. The entire day was an emotional roller-coaster. It was harsh on me, and I didn't have to deal with telling about my family's abuse, or having my new friend pass out- twice.



I rocked her, just letting her cry. The soothing words flowed out of me, and I stroked her hair gently. She needed this, it would help her. Then she really needed rest.



Tara sat up, awkwardly swiping at her tears. "You don't ask for much, do you?" I shook my head. "Well, that's good. I'm glad you're okay. You wanna get out of here?"



Do I ever. "Oh yeah." I swung out of bed, staggering as a wave of dizziness washed over me. "Urgh, head rush." Tara caught me before I could fall over. "We gotta stop doing this." I smiled up at her. She giggled, then I saw her eyes change. They darkened, turning from the cerulean I was used to into a deep sapphire that sparked a fluttering low in my stomach.



I took in our position, and gulped as I realized how close we were. Our faces were inches apart, so close we were breathing the same air. I could read her intent in her eyes, and it was reciprocated in me. At that moment I knew that it didn't matter if Tara was a girl, a guy, or a dancing bear, there was no way I wouldn't love her. Love?



My breath- and my thoughts- stopped as her head began to drop towards mine. She paused, and I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Wanting to reassure her, as well as really wanting to kiss her, I pressed my head up and met her lips with my own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You guys happy with the introduction of ?

[Laragh]

Dibs! Oh hell yes.

Hmm, am I happy with the introduction of ? Um, hell yes!!!!

That 'beautiful red' thing was so sweet. I 'awwed' out loud.

Oh and I don't think it's a sick and twisted mind...more able to make good things happen in a bad situation. Like, the premise of this story, abuse, self harm, terrible self-esteen, runaways, hospitals, comas, etc, and every time I read I still get a massive smile on my face. That's just your awesome writing skills.

Oh and I loved the dancing bear line. Made me totally (another strange look from the gf. You'd think she'd be used to my w/t story related expressions of emotions after three years. Go figure.)

Wow, I ramble. This story just excites me. Oh and yes, I like two updates in one day I like it muchly. Super muchly.

So, in short, awesome update, yay for , can't wait for more and you're amazing.

[LittleBit]

great updates! things are really progressing here ... please keep the updates coming!

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I really liked that Tara told Willow everything... I kinda hope that somewhere down the line Tara's father and brother are going to pay for their crimes... Willow's infected wound and fainting are making me really worried... Big yay for I hope Tara doesn't freak out when Willow kissed her...

[AmberGoddess]

Laragh- I knew you'd like the smoochies. Thanks for all your compliments!

LittleBit- Glad you like it! More coming.

Zampsa1975- I have every intention of doing extremely not-nice things to the Maclays. Don't worry about Willow, and I'm glad you like the smoochies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Ambergoddess

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah

Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.

Rating: R! Finally.

Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.

Spoilers: None

Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?

Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Ten



It was unbelievable.



The instant our lips touched, my world exploded. All my senses were on overload, my heart was racing, and I could feel myself getting dizzy. I had never imagined a kiss could be this amazing. Of course, the doctor had to pick that exact moment to walk in.



The door swung open, thudding against the wall. We leapt apart as if burned, with me whacking into the bed. Thankfully, the doctor had his nose buried in a chart, and didn’t notice our panting breath or the furious blushes decorating our faces.



"Ms. Rosenburg! Glad to see you're up and feeling better. I know you want to get out of here, and I can give you a clean bill of health. There's just a few forms you have to sign at the front when you leave, and a prescription to pick up, and you're good to go!" With that, he turned and left, not having looked up once. We could have made out the entire time he was there and I don't think he would have noticed.



I turned to Tara, wanting to talk about our aborted kiss, but she cut me off. "Your clothes are over there. W-we should probably get going, it would be nice to enroll before the break ends." Her stutter gave away her nervousness, and when I tried to take her arm, she flinched back.



Sighing, I set my clothes on the bed and stripped off the hospital gown. A choked noise from behind me made me turn. Tara was staring, her face flushed and eyes wide. It hit me that the girl who had just kissed me (well, I kissed her, but whatever) was now faced with me. Really close to naked. Well. That's awkward.



I cleared my throat softly, waiting for her to look at me. She blushed even harder and turned away, dropping her head. I threw the rest of my clothes on as fast as humanly possible and walked over to her. "Hey, you okay?"



She pulled away. "Yeah. You must be getting t-tired of asking me that, huh?" The blonde didn't even glance at me as she started to walk out, keeping her gaze firmly fastened on the floor. I was not having any of that.



"Tara, wait. Come back, please?" Reluctantly, she did as I asked, although her eyes stayed down.



"Uh-uh, look at me. What's up?" Finally, she brought her eyes to mine, and I was shocked to see how sad and tired they were.



"Nothing. Can w-we please go?" I would not let her avoid this forever, but I figured the middle of the hospital wasn't a good place for a confrontation. So we left, with me unabashedly staring at her the entire time, and her avoiding my eyes.



My eyes swept over her, taking in every little detail. She was beautiful, the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen. Even the bruises marring her skin didn't detract from that beauty.



Studying her now, though, I saw that she was tired and in pain. And really uncomfortable with me. Well, crap. I didn't mean to freak her out, I thought she wanted to kiss me! She started it, anyway. Nice, genius, sound like a five-year-old.



=====================================================



We got back to the motel and the awkward silence that we had walked back in was broken. I had had enough.



"Tara, what is wrong? First you're all weepy and oh-my-god-I'm-glad-you're-okay and then you avoid me like I'm some kind of leper! I know I kissed you, but seriously, you started it." I was pouting now and I knew it. Unfair, but hey- I was desperate.



"'You started it?' What, we're in kindergarten now?" Her anger took me by surprise. I'd been expecting embarrassment or apologies, not anger. My reaction to the sharp words was not the best I could have had.



"No! But it's freaking true, dammit! You leaned in first, so I thought you wanted it. When you stopped, I took my chance and finished for you! And now you're mad about that? God, I don't get you!" Shouting now, I threw my hands in the air. "But if it's all the same to you, I'd just like to say I'm glad I did. I liked it, and if you're mad, just, just, get over it!"



Tara just sat there blinking in shock during my entire rant. I was panting by now, but my unexpected rage had left me as quickly as it had come, and I was feeling a little ashamed of my outburst. Opening my mouth to apologize, I was stopped by her lips on mine and her hands on my face. Frozen, I didn’t react at first, but the feeling of her pulling away jolted my stunned brain into action.



My hands settled on her hips, pulling her closer into me. I felt her tongue tentatively tracing the contours of my still slightly open mouth, and I opened it wider to give her access. When she didn't, I took the initiative and eased my tongue in between her lips. She tightened her grip, sliding one hand into my hair and the other on my back. The feeling of her tongue touching mine was beyond anything I'd ever felt before, and I moaned.



The moan must have startled her, because she pulled back, but kept her forehead resting on mine as we panted.



"Wow." That was the only way to describe how I felt now. Well, maybe over-the-moon, or unbelievable, or euphoric, but I couldn't get my vocal cords working enough to say any of those.



She looked unsure, though. "T-that was okay? I mean, I know you s-said you liked it, but it wasn’t too f-forward?" I smiled and kissed her again in answer. Pulling back, I could see she still had her eyes closed.



"It was perfect. Um, I'm sorry for yelling before. You got me a little… mad." Her eyes dropped once again, but I was not having that this time. Reaching out, my fingers gently nudged her chin up until she was looking at me. "You don't have to hide from me, sweetheart. I like you for Tara, and never be ashamed to be just that. You don't ever need to be scared of me."



A smile worked its way across her face and she sighed, leaning into me. "I was scared that you would hate me. For being the way I am. L-liking girls?"



Laughing, I told her, "See, that's where you're a dummy. First of all, didn't I kiss you?" She looked suddenly majorly embarrassed. "And second, I could never hate you. Physical impossibility. Like someone falling upwards."



She smiled sheepishly. "I was being a little dumb, wasn't I?" Reaching over, I clasped her hands in mine.



"It's all right. The entire way here, I was so terrified you would just grab your bags and run. Such a pair, aren't we?" We were sitting down by now, and I surprised her when I gently tugged on her hands. Laying back, I patted the bed. "Come. Snuggle. It's mandatory."



Tara laughed and obeyed. "Well, I can't be breaking the rules before I even get to school, can I?" I wrapped an arm around the blonde as her head nuzzled into my chest.



"No. No, you really can't. Um, Tara? Dumb question here, but I need to know. Will you, will you be my girlfriend?" I held my breath in anticipation of the answer. It was probably dumb to be nervous after the first kiss, but that's how my brain works.



She thought deeply. "Hmm. On one condition." My heart plummeted even as I was agreeing. "That you be mine as well." Swiftly reversing its downward plunge, my heart soared through my chest and ended up somewhere in the stratosphere.



"Of course." Then I lifted my head and kissed my girlfriend.

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for good update-y goodness... Big yay for girlfriend asking...

[Taralover]

How sweet this fic is.

[arsyadriani]

Yay!! girlfriend already
glad that they sorted it out before it got bad
more pelaseeee

[Laragh]

Oh wow. So awesome.

I'm so happy, they're all smoochey and girlfriendy and just yay.

Swiftly reversing its downward plunge, my heart soared through my chest and ended up somewhere in the stratosphere.

That line was freakin' awesome.

Keep up the amazing work

[abarda]

Oh, you're an excellent writer! Your fanfic is very, very, very cute! I thought it was a bit "emo" at the begining, but, then, it started to be so good, and I couldn't stop reading! And I'm so happy they finally are girlfriends...
I'm waiting the next part!

[LittleBit]

very cute!

[AmberGoddess]

Zampsa1975- That was fun to write

Taralover- I'm glad you think so!

arsyadriani- It needed to be sorted out. More on the way!

Laragh- I'm glad you're enjoying this! The quote you posted was a good one, they're fun to think of. More coming!

abarda- I'm so glad you're liking my fic. I wasn't aiming for the emo theme, so I tried to make it lighter. Guess it worked! Next part's here

LittleBit- thanks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Ambergoddess

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah

Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.

Rating: R! Finally.

Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.

Spoilers: None

Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?

Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Eleven



“Damn! Who would have thought that school would cost so much!” My bank account was crying for mercy as Tara and I left the third store of the day. School restarted in two days and we both needed to get ready. There was so much to get, though! We were both loaded down like pack mules and we weren’t done yet.



“Well, only, um, two stores left. It won’t be that much more, really!” Tara was trying to be optimistic; I could hear it in her voice. Sadly for the both of us, I had given up.



“I don’t care how much more it is! I’m tired, and hungry, and we don’t have to be done for two more days. I wanna go home and snuggle my girlfriend, and if you don’t like it, I’ll do it on my own!” She just looked at me. “Okay, fine, I can’t snuggle you without you actually there. But can we stop for today? My arms hurt, and we can finish tomorrow.”



“I guess. I thought you were the super-organized one. With the different colored pens, and permanent A’s. Why am I suddenly the responsible one here, huh?” She laughed. I’m glad you find amusement in my pain. Really.



I growled at her. My patience had vanished two hours and eighty dollars ago. Her teasing was most emphatically not appreciated. “Oh, please. Like you’re not dying inside.”



We walked along the sidewalk bickering, drawing some strange looks from other pedestrians. Although, that could have been from the ten tons of stuff we were carrying, or the crappy clothes we had on. I guess when one runs away they aren’t all that fashion conscious.



The first stop on our outing from hell was at a clothing store, and boy did we have a ball in there. We tried on everything we could find, and made out in the fitting rooms. I was amazed the salespeople didn’t just throw us out!



Thinking of this, I realized that even though we were going out and making out, I’d never taken Tara on a proper date. And yeah, we’d only met a few days ago, but still! I wanted to spoil my girl. Our money situation might make that tricky though. Hmm. I don’t think my parents would mind helping me make Tara happy. They love kids! Well sort of not really, and Tara’s not a kid, but whatever. They’ll help me. They just won’t know. And really, they’re supposed to take care of me, so it’s only right that they share the wealth.



Thoughts like this could be classified as dangerous, but none of my parental issues had gone away. I figured they owed me for near-abandonment, and it was time to collect. Nodding, my resolve face firmly in place, I formulated a plan in my mind to get money from my parent’s account and take Tara somewhere nice.



“Um, Willow sweetie? I know you’re tired and all, but is there a reason for that face?” Poor Tara looked a bit intimidated.



“Congratulations Tara, you’ve just had your first encounter with the infamous ‘resolve face’. See it and tremble, for none can stand before it. Well, they can, but not without giving in to it.” It was true, too. On the few instances where I had both reason and opportunity, my resolve face never failed me. Kept me outta trouble with my parents quite a few times- just flash it to the nanny and watch her fold.



“Yeah. Uh-huh. Very nice. Let’s go, we still have two stores to hit.”



“What? Tara? Noooo…”



============================================



I dragged my tired ass through the door and into bed. “You are a meanie and a tyrant. How did you resist my resolve face? No one can resist the resolve face! It’s like impossible!” Tact was not a word in my vocabulary at this particular moment. Too tired to care, you know?



The blonde shrugged. “When you’ve faced down my mother’s puppy-dog pout, you can face down anything. Also, I know you weren’t thinking about shopping when you had it on, so spill.”



Wow. She’s good. “All right, all right. Will you go out with me?”



She looked confused. “Didn’t we cover this yesterday? Yeah, I’m your girlfriend.”



“No, I mean go out. On a date. With me. Please?” Now I felt like an idiot.



A pleased grin started working its way across Tara's face. It developed into the most brilliant smile I'd ever seen, and then I was enveloped in a whirlwind of blonde hair and kisses. "You *kiss* are *kiss kiss* the SWEETEST *nibble* girlfriend *kiss* I have ever *lick* had!" Well, maybe more than just kisses, but hell, I wasn't complaining!



"Tomorrow I'm taking you somewhere nice. Somewhere good enough for you." I had to gently push her away, saying, "Come on, if we're being all responsible, we should organize this all." This was said with not a little reluctance. I didn’t want to let go any more than she did, if that massive pout was any indication.



It was too good to pass up. I leaned in and caught the offending lip between my teeth, licking all along it and then sucking as much as I could into my mouth. The blonde moaned, deep in her throat, and I felt her legs tremble next to mine. As quickly as I could, I jumped back, flashing a cheerful grin her way, and exclaimed, "Well come on Tara, time's a-wasting!"



The look on her face was priceless. I bet people would pay money to see it. She was swaying, face flushed, panting hard. On top of that was an expression of such shock that it was a wonder to me how she wasn't just keeling over. I shot another cheeky grin her way, then got serious. "Really, Tara, we need to find an apartment soon. Can you grab the paper next to you?"



She sighed, resigning herself to her smoochie-less fate. We then spent the next hour and a half going through the five newspapers I had bought. When we finished, she threw them all across the room and jumped on me. The predatory look in her eye made me gulp, as did her hair trailing across my face as she leaned into me, purring, "You are going to regret being such a vixen, Miss Rosenburg."



I shuddered, then somehow found the strength to reply. "Oh really. Is that right, Miss Maclay?"



She grinned. I gulped. Oh boy. "Count on it."

[Taralover]

Poor smoochie-less Tara.

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for good update-y goodness... Good that they had fun on the shopping spree... Can't wait for their first date...

[AmberGoddess]

Damn you people are fast. I posted this, what, three minutes ago? Go you!

[Laragh]

I’m glad you find amusement in my pain. Really.

LOL

I growled at her.

I know she did in annoyance and not sexy fun times-ness but Willow growling is still hot.

“Yeah. Uh-huh. Very nice. Let’s go, we still have two stores to hit.”

Heh. I love Tara.

The predatory look in her eye made me gulp, as did her hair trailing across my face as she leaned into me, purring, "You are going to regret being such a vixen, Miss Rosenburg."



I shuddered, then somehow found the strength to reply. "Oh really. Is that right, Miss Maclay?"



She grinned. I gulped. Oh boy. "Count on it."

That was hot. Very hot.

Can't wait for more!

[LittleBit]

there is a certain lightness to your writing that was not present at the start - do you plan on resolving the issues of why Willow was cutting herself and Tara's abuse?

[AmberGoddess]

Taralover- The worst of all fates!

Zampsa1975- Me too! It's harder to write than I expected. :( Still, it's coming soon

Laragh- Yeah, growly Willow is fun. Tara's great too! More coming!

LittleBit- I do intend to further go into these issues, but I don't want a completely angsty fic. I'm outlining what's coming up, but I want everyone to have fun in the meantime. No worries though, everything will be resolved in time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Ambergoddess

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah

Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.

Rating: R! Finally.

Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.

Spoilers: None

Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?

Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Twelve



The instant her lips touched mine I knew I was in trouble. The taste of Tara on my lips drove me wild with desire. The little lightning bolts shooting from our joined mouths straight to my center didn't help at all either. Moaning, I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her tighter into me. Our lips parted, allowing tongues to come into play, fighting a battle for dominance that neither of us particularly wanted to win. I felt one of her hands tangle almost painfully in my hair as the other ran down to my stomach. It slipped under my shirt, leaving trails of fire in its wake. I felt an almost savage need for the blonde, to have something that was mine.



I flipped us over, landing firmly on top of her. My lips landed on hers again, almost too hard for a second before I drew back a little and soothed the bruised flesh with my tongue. My hands traced the same path hers had taken just seconds earlier, but on her body, and a little lower. She whimpered under me, hands coming up to rest on my shoulders. I drew back, letting our lips disconnect. "You okay, baby?"



She was flushed and panting, but even the incredibly sexy sight of an aroused Tara couldn't cover the sudden fear in her eyes. She pushed at me gently, begging with her eyes for me to move. I did so without complaint, sitting up and taking her with me. She immediately burrowed into my arms, hiding her face in my hair.



"I c-can't," she sniffled, "it's too much, too fast. I know I started it and all, but it's... I just... I can't." I felt for her. I wasn't mad, or upset, or anything she might have thought. Relationships needed time to develop before getting this intimate. It made sense. I just wished I'd thought of it before.



"I'm s-sorry."



Those two words confused me. What did she have to be sorry about? If anything, I should be apologizing. I'd practically pinned her down! Oh, god!



"Tara I am so sorry. I completely spaced about everything with your family. We can go as slow as you want, nothing more, nothing less. But don't blame yourself, okay? Not your fault. Nothing to be sorry for. Now seriously love, look at me."



Throughout my entire (seriously guilty) speech, she hadn't once raised her head. As she did, frightened tears glistening at the corners of her beautiful blue eyes caught me off guard. The terror I'd seen was unbelievable. Before my brain could catch up to my body, I'd pulled away and strode for the door, rage in every pore of my body. I wanted blood- and I knew whose.



"W-Willow? Where are you g-going?" The sound of her stutter reappearing only fueled my anger more. The determination to go out and destroy every little bit of those scum who'd put the fear in my beauty's eyes boiled through my blood.



"I'm gonna kill them. A lot. No one should be able hurt you and get away with it, especially not family." I spat the last word out as if it were poison in my mouth, disgust at those creatures dripping from my words. Sure, I had my difficulties with my parents, but this went beyond a little indifference. This was calculated hurt, and pleasure gained from pain.



I couldn't even think about Donnie. If I thought about it, how he used his sister in that way, how he beat her down and raped her, I would explode. Even without thinking about it, I was pretty damn close.



"W-what? You're gonna kill who? My family? They're not worth it, my ro?ii." The word brought me up short. The love infused into that one little word made me realize that no matter how mad I was, anger and revenge wouldn't get me anything, and would probably lose me my Tara. Still, my mini-epiphany didn't stop me from being mad.



"They hurt you. They have to pay." She grabbed me, spinning me to face her. My eyes widened- she was pissed now.



"Will you please listen to me? Yes, they hurt me, you're mad. I don't blame you- I'm angry as well. But think, Will, you get thrown in jail, how will I see you? Through a little glass window? They're. Not. Worth. It. They're not worth throwing your life away for. Now if they come down here, I'll gladly let you at 'em. Actually, I probably won't, but still. I lo-" Her eyes widened, and she scrambled to cover a slip I wasn't sure I had heard. "I mean, you mean so much to me already, I don't want them to take that away as well. Do, do you get it at all?"



Do I ever. "I do. And for what it's worth, I am, you know."



She looked at me quizzically, her head cocked to the side. "What?"



I looked straight into her eyes, letting her see everything about me. The good, the bad, the monumentally fucked up. Nothing hidden, nothing made up. Just me, shown to her in all honesty as I answered.



"Yours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry it's short, but my mom got pneumonia and I gotta take care of her. I'll still update as fast as I can though.

[taranwillow4ever]

I am loving this story, though I fear that I will soon be accused of stealing stuff from your story. It seems that we are both having similar life stories for Tara. I really enjoyed all these updates. Keep up the good work, and take care of your mom.