Sally In Mathmagic Land
Look How Far You've Come
You Filled Your Heart With Love
Baby, You've Done Enough, Take A Deep Breath
Don't Beat Yourself Up
“Willow?”
Willow looked up from her Advanced Computational Biology textbook and had to blink several times to focus herself.
She never wanted to be that up close and personal with a genome again.
Except maybe Tara’s.
She bet Tara’s genome was the cutest little string of base pairs.
She smiled to herself, thinking about it, before remembering she’d been called.
“Yeah, kiddo?”
Sally was lying stomach-down with her own textbooks spaced out in front of her. She had her chin resting on her upturned palm and was frowning.
“Is it the ‘S’ or the ‘C’ that’s silent in the word ‘scent’?”
Willow blinked slowly, then narrowed her eyes.
“You been getting into Miss Kitty’s catnip?”
Miss Kitty meowed from her bed, seemingly offended at the insinuation that she would supply a minor.
Sally sighed dramatically, dropping her forehead onto the nearest textbook.
“My brain is fried by math.”
She rolled over and looked up at the ceiling.
“What’s it called when they give you steak but it looks like it’s from KFC?”
“Chicken-fried steak?” Willow guessed.
“Yeah,” Sally exhaled, “I have chicken-fried brain. Except the chicken is math.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Willow replied, leaning her crossed arms on the table in front of her, “In a class of 30 students, 18 play basketball, 12 play soccer, and 7 play both. How many students play neither sport?”
“Also 7,” Sally replied in a bored tone.
Willow grinned.
“What is the smallest positive integer that leaves a remainder of 1 when divided by 2, 3, and 4?”
Sally rolled back over onto her stomach.
“13.”
Willow gave her a pointed look.
“How many kids in this room need to give themselves a break because
they’ve got this?”
Sally pursed her lips unsurely.
“You always say you can’t study too much.”
Willow raised an eyebrow.
“Since when do you listen to me?”
Sally couldn’t argue with that.
“Az really wants to win the Mathlympics. She thinks people won’t think she’s weird anymore if we do. I told her they don’t have varsity Math at our school, but…”
“If you can’t be cool, be smart,” Willow quipped, “Every nerd’s mantra of mass delusion.”
“I’m not a nerd,” Sally rejected harshly, kicking herself up into a sitting position.
Willow paused and leaned back in the chair.
“Do
you want to win?” she asked, and Sally didn’t answer, “Do you want to look cool?”
Sally just rolled her eyes.
“I don’t want to go to the stupid summer camp, that’s for sure. Az is obsessed. I told her it’s like boot camp but with calculators. She seemed to think that’s a good thing.”
“The MOSP is pretty prestigious,” Willow reasoned carefully, “But we’re not going to make you go if you don’t want to. It’s nice you’re willing to do this to help your friend get there, though.”
Sally sighed dramatically and rolled onto her back.
“Just hit me with another one.”
Willow nodded, accepting the pushback on her questions.
“Circle area is 49π. What’s the diameter?”
“14,” Sally looked at Willow the same way the other Jewish kids in Hebrew school looked at her that one time she accidentally said ‘moozle’ instead of ‘mazel’, “Are you even going to
try and stump me?”
Funnily enough, being on the receiving end of the look by Sally filled her with an odd sense of pride.
For once, she actually recognized the feeling of liking herself and her nerdy inclinations.
And she liked who she was to this kid.
“Okay, hotshot,” Willow said with a somewhat cocky grin, “Solve for x: the square root of two x plus nine, minus the square root of x minus three, equals 3.”
Sally’s mouth opened, then shut. She flopped back down with a groan.
“You win.”
Willow smiled affably.
“X equals fifteen plus six root three. But that wasn’t really fair. I was way older the first time it was asked on a quiz, and I had to chew on it for a while. Try this one out for size. I have a number in my head. If I multiply it by 3 and subtract 5, I get the same result as if I added 7 to twice the number. What’s the number?”
Sally had to think about that one. Her eyes moved back and forth as her brain conjured the numbers, and suddenly she straightened up, all excited.
“12!”
“Ding, ding,” Willow held up her hand for a virtual high five, “That one’s an old classic. Bet they’ll keep recycling it until the end of time. And you got it even quicker than I did the first time. Now, do you believe me that you’ve got this and can take a break?”
Sally stood up.
“Can I have my phone? I want to text Aaron and make sure he’s still coming.”
“Sure, you’re finished your homework,” Willow went to retrieve Sally’s phone from the drawer it lived in, “So Aaron is gonna come this weekend?”
She tried to sound airy, but Sally obviously picked up on it because she just grabbed her phone and ran into her bedroom.
Willow dared say she saw a blush.
“I always wanted to come to the Mathlympics.”
Tara folded her legs beneath her seat on the bleachers at the local high school and looked at Willow in surprise.
“Why didn’t you?”
“They don’t let one-person clubs attend,” Willow sighed deeply, “And everyone else in Math club only came to get tutored. Usually, by force, by Principal Snyder.”
Tara recalled the pressure Willow put herself under in doing the Science Fair and thought maybe it was best she had been ruled out of this one.
“So is this your version of being a pageant mom?” she teased lightly.
Willow grinned.
“Yes, but instead of twerking my booty, I’m twerking my parietal lobe.”
Tara leaned in, nudging Willow playfully with her shoulder.
“Trying to turn me on?”
Willow blushed and sneaked a quick kiss on Tara’s exposed shoulder.
“Maybe it’s just as well. My soul is spiralling in frozen fractals all around after watching Sally freak out this past week.”
She paused to glance at Tara, who was smirking at her wording.
“Don’t judge. We’ve been watching Frozen to destress.”
Tara put her hand on Willow’s thigh and slid it down to take her hand.
“You’ve been wonderful,” she whispered affectionately, pulling Willow’s gaze toward her, “You’re giving her all the help and love you needed at her age.”
Willow’s eyes were glassy as she matched Tara’s smile. She felt a little bit of her heart heal.
She couldn’t wait to tell her therapist.
She closed her hand around Tara’s and squeezed it, feeling a sense of joy and longing and security about the life they had built and would continue to build.
“Oh, are you Sally’s parents?”
A man’s voice broke through their reverie, and they both looked up.
Two middle-aged men were about to sit next to them, one with salt-and-pepper hair and a firm expression, the other a carefully dyed brunette in perfectly draped designer clothes. He was the one speaking to them. His hand gripped a white leather satchel worn over his body, and the other extended toward them.
Willow responded first.
“Um, yeah, kinda,” she said, awkwardly half-rising to shake his hand, “I’m Willow, this is Tara.”
The man shook her hand and then Tara’s, appraising them with his eyes.
“I’ve seen you on the school run. We’re Aaron’s fathers.”
His look conveyed a lot about how he found their clothing – a perfectly lovely if loud combination of fuzz and colorful jeans – but he was hardly the first one to send judgment their way.
“Lee,” he said with a palm against himself, then put a hand on his partner’s shoulder, “Robert.”
Robert lifted two fingers in a greeting but was fixated on the still-empty stage.
“Is Aaron not with you?” Tara asked, glancing around to see if she would recognize him.
She didn’t collect Sally from school as much as Willow did, but she’d spotted Sally walking away from the boy a few times.
“He met the girls in the lobby,” Lee explained, wiping the seat under him before he sat down, “They’re showing him around backstage.”
“Sally was really pleased he wanted to come,” Tara tried to maintain the conversation, “It’s nice to have support.”
“Aaron was very insistent,” Robert spoke up for the first time, his voice as dour as the look on his face.
“I think he’d like to be up there himself, but unfortunately, he’s inherited his father’s dyslexia for math,” Lee added, flicking the back of his hands against Robert’s chest.
“Dyscalculia,” Willow supplied, then gulped when two hard faces stared back at her, “Um. Is what that’s called.”
Lee just smiled in a similar way as he had earlier and turned his attention to the stage.
Tara huddled close to Willow to whisper as quietly as possible.
“Do they hate us?”
“I don’t know,” Willow whispered back, “We’ve waved before. I never sensed hostility in the wave, but my track record on wave analysis isn’t strong. Just last week, I waved back at someone who was, in fact, not waving at me.”
They sat close enough for their thighs to touch; a small move for security, feeling stronger as two than apart.
A short while later, a familiar boy Sally’s age jumped up the steps two by two and came to sit in front of them. Lee fussed with the collar on the boy’s shirt.
“Hey, Aaron,” Willow greeted first with a small wave.
“You’re Willow, right?” Aaron asked as he twisted out of his father’s grip.
Willow nodded.
“Yeah, and this is Tara.”
Tara waved too. Beside them, Robert fixed a gaze on the boy.
“Aaron.”
Aaron went red under the collar.
“Sorry. Umm, should I call you Mrs. and Mrs…?” he asked carefully, glancing at his dads as if checking for approval.
“Just Willow and Tara,” Tara offered with a gentle smile.
Robert's lips pursed into a thin line.
“We’ve taught Aaron to be respectful of his elders.”
Willow started skipping over her words, suddenly flustered.
“Oh well, we’re not…we don’t…”
“It’s what Sally calls us, so it’s okay,” Tara reassured.
Willow nodded quickly.
“Yeah, we figure less of the honorifics when there’s less than a decade between us and the kids.”
“Oh, thank god,” Lee clutched his chest, startling the other two, “I thought I was going to have to sell my soul to Satan to get your skincare routine, but you’re just good old-fashioned young!”
“You didn’t know?” Tara asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, you have a middle schooler,” Lee replied with a pointed look.
Tara didn’t appreciate the judgment in his tone.
“She’s my little sister. We have custody.”
Lee rolled his eyes toward his son.
“Getting information out of him is like asking a chorus girl to improvise Sondheim,” he said, then spoke out of the corner of his mouth as Robert summoned Aaron over to sit, “Honestly, I’ve been thrilled he found a friend. Elementary was not the most social time for us.”
“Oh?” Tara’s brow was sweating with the pained interaction.
Lee leaned over even more, holding his hand in front of his mouth.
“Bob can be…selective on the pals he lets come over,” he explained with an exaggerated glance over his shoulder, “All work and no play makes Aaron a bully boy if you know what I mean.”
Willow and Tara shared a look.
It wasn’t exactly news, given how the friendship with Sally started, but Sally had told them he was all bark and no bite.
“Couple of tough talks before 6th grade,” Lee continued, slapping his thigh, “And hey presto, he has a friend!”
Both Aaron and Robert looked over at that. Tara quickly looked away from Lee.
“Did the girls show you around?”
Aaron shook his head.
“Az started freaking out again, so her mom made me go away.”
Tara looked at Willow with a crease in her brow.
“Maybe I should check on Sally.”
“She told me to tell you…” Aaron started to speak, then glanced at his parents and back at Tara, “That she’s fine.”
“I’m guessing that’s not the verbiage she used,” Willow forced a smile.
Aaron shook his head.
“No, ma’am.”
“Appreciate the diplomacy, kid,” Willow replied and shared a brief look with Tara.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please be seated as the competition is about to begin.”
The voice came over the speaker system, and the parents scattered about found seats or focused their attention forward. In the wings, Azalea’s mother’s head would pop out every so often from the curtain until someone escorted her to sit in the front row as the first set of kids took their seats at opposite desks on stage.
The morning was…long.
Twelve schools competed in a long round robin leading to quarter-finals, then semis. The hours dragged, but Sally held her own through every round.
Sally seemed kind of bored as they played through the teams, but Tara spotted her foot tapping anxiously beneath the table.
Willow
was very much the pageant mom, and it brought Tara endless joy and a new way to love her. Instead of song lyrics, Willow mouthed equations and jumped in delight when Sally would answer correctly, even when it brought a glare from the moderator.
Tara thought it was far better than the anxious energy Azalea’s mother was giving off and made no effort to rein her girlfriend in, especially when she saw Sally crack a quick smile once or twice when she glanced up at them.
She didn’t notice it was Aaron who was returning the smile.
They got to the quarters, then the semis, and then the final after a nerve-wracking functional equation solve that Azalea buzzed in with seconds before the opposing team.
A break was called before the final round, and everyone made their way out to the foyer to stretch their legs and get some of the weak coffee that was offered.
While his Dads were distracted by trying to decline the coffee as politely as possible, Aaron slipped away back to the auditorium to find Sally.
He spotted her filling up her water bottle and waved. She smiled and waved back, indicating for him to come over. They slipped out the back to avoid getting more involved in Azalea and her mother’s anxiety.
Sally liked the girl, but she was a lot more fun when they were just talking about Lego construction or penguin habitats.
They found an open dressing room backstage and hid out in there to avoid the various kids and adults milling around everywhere outside.
Sally sat in the corner and gulped on her water.
Aaron sat beside her, sitting on his hands. Sally glanced at him but didn’t scoot away.
“Um…” Aaron started, staring ahead, “You’re really good out there. Once they say more than one number, it’s like someone flips my brain with a spatula and makes it sizzle like a grilled cheese.”
Sally looked down bashfully.
“For me, it’s like the numbers start holding hands and dancing, like the treats in that old-timey movie theater commercial. I see how they’re supposed to be and how it all makes sense.”
Aaron slowly turned his head.
“You’re so cool,” he said slightly breathlessly.
Sally copied him until their eyes met. A long second later, their lips pressed together, neither sure who was the one who actually moved.
An endless moment later, they parted, eyes and mouths lingering open.
Then Sally’s face scrunched, and she dramatically wiped her mouth.
“Ew!”
Aaron started coughing into his elbow.
“Double ew!”
Sally swiped her sleeve over her mouth to get any residue off.
“You taste like mouldy bubble gum.”
She really hadn’t experienced much more than smelling his breath, but it stuck.
“That’s my toothpaste!” Aaron exclaimed.
“Change it!” Sally bit back.
Aaron covered his mouth with his hand and breathed into it to check.
“Well, you tasted like rotten milk.”
“I had yogurt for breakfast,” Sally replied indignantly, “Excuse me for being cultured.”
Aaron paused, then broke out in a grin.
“Heh. Cultured, like yogurt?”
Sally burst out in laughter.
“I didn’t even mean that!” she giggled, then tentatively offered her hand, relieved the kiss wasn’t lingering in either taste or emotion, “Friends?”
“Definitely,” Aaron shook ardently, “And can I come over to yours sometime? Now my Dads met your Moms, I think they’ll let me.”
“They’re not my moms, gross,” Sally’s nose scrunched, “And yeah, sure. If you bring your cool controllers, so we can play Kirby.”
“Deal!” Aaron agreed eagerly.
A voice crackled over the PA system, then calling for people to return to the stage. Sally’s eyes widened.
“We gotta go!”
They both jumped up and went out the nearest door, bringing them the long way back to the foyer.
“Sally, there you are,” Willow said when she spotted them, “C’mon, they gave a five-minute warning.”
“Sorry,” Sally and Aaron said in unison, blushing slightly as they did so.
“Where were you?” Robert asked sternly.
Sally and Aaron glanced at each other.
“We went to the vending machines,” Aaron said.
The adults looked at their hands for candy, of which there was none.
“But they only took dollars,” Sally said, sensing the look.
“A-and we only had quarters,” Aaron finished, nodding definitively.
Lee rolled his eyes.
“Why these things don’t take Apple Pay in this day and age…”
Robert’s frown deepened, but he said nothing more as Tara put a hand on Sally’s shoulder.
“Are you hungry, sweetie?” Tara asked.
“I have granola bars,” Willow offered, opening the flap of the satchel across her body.
Sally shook her head.
“No, I’m good.”
“I’ll take one,” Aaron said, biting the corner of his lip, “My, uh, mouth still tastes like toothpaste.”
Sally had to dig her teeth into her bottom lip to stop from laughing.
“We, uh, gotta go! Don’t wanna get disqualified!”
She sped off back toward the auditorium with everyone else on her heels.
“Good luck, kiddo,” Willow called gently as Sally hurried off to the stage.
Sally just smiled back with a thumbs up and took the empty seat next to Azalea, who was trying to sharpen her six pencils to the same height.
The stage lights felt hot on Sally’s face, and the faint smell of wood polish mixed with the tang of sharpened pencils affected her nose much more than Aaron’s sickly-sweet toothpaste. Somewhere, a sneaker squeaked against the gym floor, and it annoyed her far more than it should.
The final was the definition of nail-biting. Each team traded off answering correctly with a few near-misses when the opposing team would answer incorrectly and vice versa.
Finally, with scores tied, it came down to the last question.
“There exists a number. If I multiply it by 3 and subtract 5, I get the same result as if I added 7 to twice the number. What is that number?”
Willow gasped and grabbed Tara’s thigh. Tara’s eyes shot to Willow in surprise, but then back to the stage immediately as Sally pounded the buzzer so hard it rattled off the table.
“12, 12! The answer is 12!”
“That is…correct!”
The whole auditorium erupted in applause.
Well, actually, it was Willow, Tara, and Aaron jumping up and hollering with polite clapping by everyone else, but as far as Sally was concerned, the whole auditorium erupted.
She turned to Azalea, who seemed shocked.
“Az! We won!”
Azalea slowly turned her whole body to Sally, eyes wide.
“Now we have to go to Sectionals.”
“Well, yeah,” Sally replied with an arched eyebrow, “That was the point of winning.”
Azalea swallowed deeply.
“But now we have to
go.”
“We don’t have to,” Sally replied with a one-shoulder shrug, “It’s not, like, a law. Don’t worry. We’ve got this.”
She sped away at lightning speed, and Sally sighed, shaking her head.
She made her way up to the bleachers, passing Azalea’s Mom, who was speeding after her.
“Darling, remember what you’re working toward. A spot at the MOSP!”
Aaron scrunched his face up, overhearing as he moved down a few steps to meet Sally.
“You’re doing this for a bug?”
“The MOSP, not a wasp,” Sally rolled her eyes, “It’s the Math Olympic Summer Program. If you place high in this competition, you get a spot there for the summer.”
“What about you?” Aaron asked with a raised brow.
Sally shrugged.
“She really wants it, and no one else would do it with her. It’s not like I’d actually go. Math during summer? No, thank you.”
“With you there,” Aaron bobbed his head in a nod, “I think your Moms want to see you.”
Sally slapped his arm.
“Quit calling them that!”
A few steps above, Willow and Tara were bouncing with pride but obviously trying not to embarrass Sally.
“You did amazing,” Willow said, squeezing her two palms together to contain herself.
“We’re so proud of you,” Tara added, putting an arm around Sally’s shoulders, “Let’s go get lunch, wherever you want.”
Sally glanced to the side at Aaron speaking to his Dads.
“Can we just bring something home?”
“If…if that’s what you want,” Tara replied unsurely, looking to Willow, who shrugged.
“And can Aaron come over?” Sally asked, biting her lip, “If his Dads are okay with it?”
Willow again shrugged in Tara’s direction.
“Sure,” Tara agreed.
“We can get In-N-Out,” Willow suggested.
They approached Aaron and his Dads, and it was agreed that Aaron could come hang out for the afternoon. He would go get his game controllers and be dropped off at their apartment and picked up later.
While waiting at the In-N-Out drive-through, Tara looked at Sally staring out the backseat window. She raised an eyebrow at Willow, who did the same back.
“It’s nice that Aaron came out to support you,” Willow turned her head to the back.
“Yeah, it’s nice to have a close…friend,” Tara added, inching slowly forward every minute or so.
There was a small lull of silence before Sally spoke up.
“Is it a thing to be friends with someone you’ve kissed?”
Tara was glad the car was stationary, and Willow was glad she had the seat under her to grip onto.
“Sure,” Tara replied, as casually as possible, “Is that something that happened today?”
Sally pursed her lips, then gave a decisive nod.
“Yes. But it was icky. Icky to the 10th power,” she added with a dramatic nose scrunch, “That's a lot of ick.”
“It is,” Willow confirmed with a serious nod.
Sally kind of threw herself back against the seat. She stared out the window for a moment, chewing on her lip, before blurting out:
“Does this mean I don’t like boys? Because I definitely don’t want to kiss Az either.”
“No,” Tara said gently, though she hesitated like she wanted to pick the exact right words, “It just means you don’t like Aaron that way. That you’re better as friends.”
“Exactly,” Willow jumped in too quickly, her voice softer now, “You’re figuring it out. And you’ve got…lots of time. And friends are great.”
“Very important,” Tara concurred, “Friends are the best.”
“Some of my best friends are…well, friends,” Willow said, grimacing at how silly it sounded, “But yes, you can kiss a friend and realize it’s not right. If you don’t have feelings for each other, you can still be great friends.”
She dropped her voice to a whisper and looked at Tara.
“I’m saying ‘friends’ a lot.”
She tried not to shudder, remembering her failed attempt at straightening herself out with Xander. She had no intention of mentioning it, but she knew Tara was remembering too by the way her mouth turned down in displeasure.
Sally slumped a little in her seat, staring out the window.
“I guess I thought…it’d feel different. Like…special or something.”
Willow glanced at Tara, who gave the smallest nod.
“It
will feel different. When it’s with the right person,” Tara said quietly.
“Or maybe you’re just not into kissing yet,” Willow suggested, “There’s no timeline. Some people never like it.”
“Can you two become those people?” Sally asked, deadpan.
“Haha,” Willow rolled her eyes and reached back to pretend to flick Sally.
“Do you feel weird about it?” Tara asked gently.
“About you two kissing?” Sally raised her eyebrows, “Very weird.”
“About your first kiss,” Tara clarified softly.
Sally shook her head, then hesitated, her gaze fixed on the blur of buildings out the window.
“Nah. I’m just glad he still wants to play Kirby,” she said, but her voice was quieter, thoughtful, “I guess I thought…it’s just not as big a deal as I thought.”
Willow’s chest ached, remembering how much weight she once gave to her first kiss in all the wrong ways. She hoped Sally’s emotions would settle lighter.
A beat passed before Sally spoke again, more brightly.
“Will you get my fries animal style?”
Willow and Tara exchanged a smile and proceeded to place their order through the speaker when it was their turn.
The car filled with the greasy, mouthwatering scent of fries as Willow passed the bag back to Sally and told her to keep it sealed until they got home to keep them fresh. Sally’s stomach rumbled, even as her mind still replayed the awkward kiss, and the more she thought of it, the more it made her laugh.
Aaron was already waiting in his dad’s car when they got home, and the two kids were quick to set up the gaming system on the TV between shoving fistfuls of messy fries in their mouths.
It was nice to hear the childlike frivolity in the apartment, but both Willow and Tara went to sit in the bedroom since elbows and onions were flying in the vicinity of the couch.
From the bedroom, they listened to the laughter and game sound effects drifting down the hall. Willow reached for Tara’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze.
“They’re okay,” Willow murmured.
Tara nodded, leaning her head on Willow’s shoulder.
“They’re more than okay.
She’s more than okay. Experiencing these milestones. And you know, I think we'll be okay, too. Even if we can never be her mother, we can be who she needs. You and me.”
Willow tilted Tara’s chin and brushed her lips softly over hers, lingering just long enough to feel Tara relax beneath the touch.
“What was that for?” Tara whispered.
“For making sure my first kiss was with the right person,” Willow murmured, tucking a piece of hair behind Tara’s ear.
Their foreheads touched, breath mingling. Tara’s hand slid to the back of Willow’s neck, drawing her into a deeper, slower kiss – one that spoke of the years they'd had, the ones to come, and the promises and quiet knowing of that future together. When they finally parted, Willow’s smile was soft and her eyes shone.
“And what was
that for?” she asked, voice hushed.
Tara’s nose nudged hers, light as air.
“For proving the right kiss always feels special.”
She left the softest and tenderest of chaste kisses on Willow’s lips, letting the moment last a heartbeat longer.
“And for making sure my last kiss will be too.”