by mangled_monkey » Sat Mar 01, 2008 11:06 am
A good friend of mine, who was like a little sister to me, killed herself on the 22nd. Whilst dealing with the fallout from that, I had my first Psychology exam worth 25 percent of my grade. I am quite certain that I failed it. Then, my parents blame me for what my friend did because I "encouraged her to be gay." As evidence, they cite the fact that she was on the phone with her girlfriend when she did it. I've been so busy being there for other people in all of this that I'm not even sure I know what the hell I'm feeling about the entire situation. The past week has been the most stressful in my recent memory and I wish the entire thing would just go away, that she'd just come back, maybe text me saying it was all a joke. I miss her like crazy and my parents saying it's my fault isn't helping. I know it's not my fault, I know there was more going on than I knew, I know all that shit about it being a choice she made... But it still hurts like hell and I don't want it to. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
Everything you think you know, baby, is wrong.
And everything you think you had, baby, is gone.
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