Advice Needed

[EndlessDestiny]

I hate it when my mom's home. The first thing she said to me when she got back from work was about the laundry. She started yelling that I gave the socks to the wrong people and wanted to know where the other pillow case was. There was only one when I did it. I didn't see a second one. She then said that she hated it when I was home because I was nasty. Maybe if she was nicer and believed me I wouldn't yell back.

Then she said that I should go to the dinner that the group I work with are having. I don't want to go. The people there aren't my friends. I'd end up not talking for the most part of it. My mom yelled that it was because they're not freaks. It hurts.

[jay/wt4evr]

Hi Endless Destiny
just red all topic...it's really a mess....I don't want to be redundant about your family, uninconditioned love and all, but let tell you this.
It's a bit different, but it's about family
my father was never really wanted in his family, now he's ill and his sister is acting like a bitch with him because she wants the money. his mother didn't even call him for his birthday. they sued us while he was in hospital. but he doesn't see. he loves them, 'cause they're his family. and he's acting like a jerk with me and my mother. this because he has to recreate the bad atmosphere of his childhood. he doesn't know how to love as a "normal" person would love. he only knows this kind of situation.

all of this is to say that maybe your mother got in some major denial or issues in her teenage, and she can't think any other way. maybe you should open up a bit with your granmother to see if there were troubles about this topic and after face your mother . or (this one isn't really smart) you can try to go out with a guy, just to ell you mother how bsd it went. then again she would tell that was the wrong guy. don't know how to help more than that (if it even helped)
just one thing sweetie, don't bottle up all inside, talk with whoever you can trust. someday you mother will see you're happy just the way you are, without her trying ot set you up only for her own sake.
hope you work this out
if you ever want to talk and can't think of nobody else on my profile there are my emails
take care and don't rush. remeber that your mother loves you cause you're her own blood, but for now she could think this "wrongness" comes from her. she has to get used to "you" as her blood but your mind.
and remember that there will be always somebody who loves you, no matter what.




Hey, you still there? are you ok? anything sorted out? hope you feeling better

[EndlessDestiny]

I spent the day with my mom today. It went well overall. We saw the Orphanage, which was awesome. She took the opportunity to question me though, which sucked. She said I'm afraid of being with a guy and afraid of the penis and think it's gross (which it is) and that I'm just too shy to think of a guy seeing me naked. Just because I'm not a 'froo froo' girl doesn't mean I'm gay. Bi's can never be with just one person and the best chance of being with someone long term is being in a man-woman relationship. She added that when I was in middle school I tended to gravitate toward gay/bi people (yeah, all two of them). She asked what made me first think I might be and stupid me answered seriously that I'd been watching Buffy and decided that Willow and Tara made a great couple. She said that maybe they shouldn't show that kind of stuff on tv. Did she ask me to elaborate? No, and I certainly don't have the nerve to. I told her that I still don't know what I am.

[EndlessDestiny]

Sometimes I feel bad about being gay, like I'm dirty or something. I can't really bring myself to say it. I talk around it instead of saying that I'm gay. I feel it most of the time when I'm at home. When I'm away at school it's better. There, I'm on the e-board of my school's lbgt group. When I'm home or if my mom calls me, she has to ask about guys. My mom thinks girls together is gross and that the internet and anime confused me. She's positive that I'm straight. I'm afraid that if I'm alone with her she'll try to talk to me about it. I feel terrible about it. I feel like I'm letting her down. Did anyone else feel this way ever? What did you do about it?