A Moment of Truth

[thiswomanswork]

My world is based on love and respect, I was, maybe am, so naive to think that people can't hate love and I feel like a fool for that.... and I also feel like a fool not just for having that naive toughts, but for losing them too.

Here's some truth: It's people that think like that that make the world worthwhile to live in. That's truth for ya.

Don't give up on yourself.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I thought I was more mature than this, but it's weirding me out that my mom may become romantically involved soon. I want her to be happy, but I can't help selfishly wondering how it will affect me if the relationship goes somewhere. I feel guilty and selfish for thinking this way, but I can't help it.

[LesbianJedi87]

I LIKE her, but I miss my decoy. :\

[umgaynow]

I bet Dia is gonna be pissed that I posted on the Kittenboard on our brand new just-out-of-the-box computer before she did...ooops

[Willowtree252]

[umgaynow]

I am in trouble...run away...run away!

[jay/wt4evr]

I liked Oz from 2nd and 3rd season, above all when he said 'A werewolf in love.' That just about melted my heart. Though i'm glad he went outta the way.

[JujuDeRoussie]

When I saw there was a missed call from her I was so hopeful things had went back the way they were. But upon listening to the message my heart broke. The person I used to love and admire is not anymore. I wonder what happened and if she'll ever come back. I miss her terribly.

[taraslove]

deleted

[umgaynow]

Love is not resenting the woman snoring behind you when you are sitting at the computer unable to sleep

[Gatito Grande]

So here's the thing: last Monday, I sent my (No Longer) Secret Crush a full-on love letter: fountain pen, best handwriting, fancy stationary, quoting Lord Byron (She Walks in Beauty). In other words, The Works.

I sent it snail mail, 'cuz I just wasn't confident she was getting my emails (at the board we're both on, she rarely posts, and has stated her problems w/ getting internet time before---this seems to be a chronic problem for her, no matter where she lives. )

Now, of course, I'm waiting for some response---ANY response---from her. An email. A call (I've sent her my numbers before---again, not that I can be sure she got them!). A letter back.

I wish she'd tell me to go jump in a lake. I really do. I wish she'd call me "An old perv she could never be attracted to". Anything, anything, that would get her out of my system, and off this interminable Is She?/Isn't She? addiction she's become.

Dammit. I hate how pathetic I've become. I hate that she's so Freaking Beautiful, and I'm addicted to beauty (Yes, I am that shallow. I hate that all the women who respond to my Yahoo Singles Ad---when they do, which isn't often---invariably have "faces which could shatter my computer monitor"). I hate that Secret Crush's comparatively lack of response is still the MOST involved I've been in over 2 years. I hate that my relationship w/ Secret Crush is probably ALMOST entirely in my own mind, yet she's given me just enough to keep me hoping.

I'm tired of Being Alone, dammit!!!

GG All alone on a Friday (holiday) night, and GG's in a mood to kvetch! Out

JW, my beautiful No-Longer-Secret-Crush: please answer my love-letter? Somehow???

[JujuDeRoussie]

Today is her birthday, and I miss her horribly. I wanna wish her so many good things, but I can't 'cause she is not anymore. She is not dead, but the girl she is is not my big sister. It is not the woman I loved and trusted. And it hurts so much.
I don't know what hurts the most: that she has rejected me, or to not know why she has rejected me.
But it hurts, today more than anything.

[Willowtree252]

I am in a depression of sorts see I am a very good bus driver and its safe for me in a sense of mind even though it is not safe for my body. Health reasons and money are the reasons for leaving but I am terrified I may not 1 be good at what I am going to do 2 like it. I know when I worked in the office at the tractor company I loved it but this is an office with ALL woman Megan says that is diffrent. I could have kept a foot in the door with district but I cut it off completely I need to let my security blanket go or I will never succeed at the rest of my life I know this is the best my heart tells me so but my mind keeps second guessing it.

[Dorothy]

Today is her birthday, and I miss her horribly. I wanna wish her so many good things, but I can't 'cause she is not anymore. She is not dead, but the girl she is is not my big sister. It is not the woman I loved and trusted. And it hurts so much.
I don't know what hurts the most: that she has rejected me, or to not know why she has rejected me.
But it hurts, today more than anything.

*huggg*

[sweet satin lover]

I am officially an idiot, damn I just want to kick myself.

[thiswomanswork]

I have a confession to make to all you kittens. Something I've kept secret for a long time...

My favourite Buffyverse character is... Cordelia Chase.

There. I said it.

[Willowtree252]

Holy crap and here I liked you.

OT I have been in a panic attact for days.

[thiswomanswork]

:thud Holy crap and here I liked you.

((cries))

OT: I hate my life, and I'm not sure how to change that right now.

[Belli Bear]

I have a confession to make to all you kittens. Something I've kept secret for a long time...

My favourite Buffyverse character is... Cordelia Chase.

There. I said it.

I think Cordelia is highly undervalued by most, she CAN have layers she's quite close to being my favourite as well, there's just something so comforting about watching a woman with that level of resolve.

ANYWHO. my moment of truth.

I think I've lost my intellectual mojo. I'm sitting here trying to write this assignment and my mind is just *get ready for a gross word* flacid.

I can't seem to get myself into my assignments anymore, they used to get me so buzzed, the excitement of thought, the search for knowledge and opinion... maybe it's because it's a personal research paper on a topic I find more dull than I care to explain. That and it's at the very end of a very very hard year. I hope so..

I'm tired of fighting for every sentence I put on paper. I'm tired of having to use a part of myself I'm not proud of, my ability to read and manipulate people, namely my tutors and course co ordinators in order to pass subjects very well that I put little, if any, effort into. I just end up hurting myself everytime I lie to them, mostly because for the first time in my life I'm surrounded by people I respect and It's very very wrong of me to use them in such a way. I plan to change my habits next year and put my people-reading to rest. If I dont hand something up in time I refuse to allow myself to get out of it consequence free.

My basic moment of truth, buck up buddy and start putting effort into your endevours.



-bell

[Willowtree252]

Today is my last day I learned yesterday just how invaluable I am here wide eyed now so it is time to move on let the sharks eat themselfs. Also had a run in with the gang leader wont say what I said to him but lets just say he thinks I am insane god that felt good. My wife will be very glad I am out of there and out of harms way laying down and leting that @@@@@@@@@@ run over me is not going to happen my pride would not allow it so best I am gone On the other hand last night the new job called open arms sending great hope for me to be there soon so I feel good now it is very important to feel wanted and needed both were expressed to me last night new sharks and new pool I can handle.

[WillowandTara]

I don't know which one scares me more. My family and friends hating me if they knew I was gay or never finding love and being alone

[Kessari]

I'm way scared. Just 18 days to go and I'm freaking out already. Can't do this... *runs around like a chicken*

[Dorothy]

I'm still alive!

[loveguruaphrodite]

After a year of passionate affairs, many lovers and heartbreak. I am happier than ever to be alone and reclaim my proud independence. I have made the choice to not take another lover until I know I am in love. I just hope I can do it.

[Gatito Grande]

Well, I did it again: upped my efforts to woo (no longer) Secret Crush.

I called the phone number I had for her---and got a outgoing voicemail message that sounded nothing like her.

THEN, I sent a follow-up email . . . asking her out on a date.

[This will work---the date---only if she hasn't left for the holidays, from the state to which I will be arriving for the holidays. ]

GG I swear, I'm leaving No Stone Unturned, in my pursuit of this woman, this relationship. Out

Worst comes to worst, I figure I'm working on my wooing skills?

[sweet satin lover]

I have a confession to make to all you kittens. Something I've kept secret for a long time...

My favourite Buffyverse character is... Cordelia Chase.

There. I said it.

She is one of my fave characters too don't worry!

my moment of truth "Dangerzone" on the top Gun sound track and the top Gun electric guitar theme gets me a little, well a lot Randy lol

[umgaynow]

When it comes to Christmas movies I'm a big kid...especially the Christmas specials from when I was a kid as well...How The Grinch Stole Christmas and best of all A Charlie Brown Christmas...but it's just not the same now that it's not sponsored by Dolly Madison snack cakes

[love_2003]

I just turned in my last paper so that means the school semester is over for me until next year. I'm very proud of myself because I made it the whole semester. I should pass all my classes with decent grades which will make my mom very happy. This semester wasn't too tiresome or hard but I feel I am in the need of a good cry and don't know why. This confuses me.

The movie Armageddon and Titanic always seem to bring the tears.
Any other suggestions?

[LesbianJedi87]

Probably shouldn't be happy but I am.


She leaves in the morning for a week and I feel great knowing I won't have to meet her anywhere just to sit around in silence barely making awkward conversation and trying to not laugh at the fact that we never talk about anything new because we talk EVERY SINGLE DAY and even if we just see each other once a week doesn't mean we have new things to talk about cause we don't. I like to think it's not my fault and that she's forgotten how to talk to people as she lives alone and never lives her apartment. When I'm around people who aren't her I'm more comfortable and well...talkative. I don't know why this is but the fact that she won't be around for a week just makes me feel...relieved.

My decoy has a new girlfriend and I'm so bummed it's retarded. I never made a move...didn't back then and defiantly won't start now. The truth about it is...I know she could have been something I'd be good at.

[Dorothy]

There seems to be truth in the saying that you tend to pair up with women that are like your mother... Too bad that it, in my case, means "very nice, friendly and loving at first sight" but then when you get to know each other and she knows you won get away easily it turns into playing dirty mental games and inflicting slight physical damage... maybe they do that to get a feeling of power or whatever... make someone else feel very bad and worthless so you can be very proud of yourself.