The Rant Thread

[LesbianJedi87]

I think I've really come to hate straight girls. Or straight people in general (no offense to anyone around here who's straight). I hate the fact that they try to tell me that dick is way better then fucking a girl, and how they always want to know how girls have sex. I personally don't know what's so appealing about guys, really! They're all just a bunch of assholes as far as I'm concerned. They're brain dead and emotionless. I guess the same could be said about girls as well but I would much rather be gay then deal with men and their bullshit.

I also don't need random people I've hardly talked to in since August assuming that I should just fix their problems and try to explain to them how men work.

Don't get me started on gay men. Living with one just fucking SUCKS for my self esteem...ick.


rant done. hopefully I didn't offend. then agaaaain no one really cares.

[Boschi]

Okay, so if life were one of those "test your strength" games at the fair, then the past month, and I suspect the next couple ones, are not anywhere near ringing that big ol' happy bell at the top.

I seem to be sitting on the sidelines watching both my relationship and my job become untenable, without a clear idea of what the fuck is going on. Suddenly I look around and realize that I'm arguing with the gf frequently (and I'm not really a bickerer) and she seems to be catagorizing any affection towards her as clinginess (pecking her on the cheek as she walks out the door in the morning for instance...), except when she has decided that I'm not making enough time for her, shut her out and don't want to have sex with her (WTF?).

I have been working from home and despite being sick as a dog over the last 3 weeks or so I've done a damn good job putting together a program that I'm in charge of at work. It takes up most of my time. Field work is also part of my job, but has not been a priority for anyone as the weather has been so bad. Three days ago, however, it warmed up.
I arrive at work yesterday to do some field work and my boss informs me, that my coworkers think I'm not pulling my weight, that things aren't getting done, that they have hired someone else to do some of the things that I was supposed to be doing. As such, there are going to be funding issues with how to pay for my position.

Oh, suuuuper.

Frankly, I'd love to tell them to go fuck themselves. I put in more hours than they pay me for anyway, there is more work to be done there than I can possibly get done and I find working there profoundly annoying/depressing at times. However, I need the health insurance and I haven't yet worked there for a year, which is a resume red-flag. So now I need to come up with the passion to fight for a position I don't really want and don't think is particularly doable in the time I have or the time they are willing to pay me for.

I keep asking myself if I'm the one being the shlub here, but as I review it, no, I'm not. I'm putting in good work hours, I'm getting things done, and if I look back over the things I was initially given responsibility for, they are all doing okay. Some of them are doing damn well.

So it seems I'm working an awful lot to have people tell me I'm not doing enough. I'm chasing other people's needs and ignoring my own farm, and I think it all adds up to the fact that I'm over-committed. The problem is, the one thing I'd like to lose in the situation is the one that is providing health insurance, a paycheck, and the chance to head a program that I really, really love.

And the thing it would be easiest to drop is my own farm. Which, well... no. If I'm not doing that then I think it delegitimizes everything else, especially that paid position but even my relationship to the gf. And besides, that's what I love, it's what I decided I actually wanted to do, and it's the reason I even took the job I have - because it complemented my farming.

Bleh.

[jay/wt4evr]

It seems that everyone knows what to do with my llife.
Not that I have a life. School and home. ok, there's music school too. but that's too much. I should give up music to study. not that I should study what I am doing now, cos it's likely that I've been forced to study to go to medicine. I should follow what my heart says. oh and it looks like I've been forced into music too. I should go to another school, one that I really like. I shouldn't go to the academy of music, cos it takes away my time. I should use that to study. or to hang out with my friends, cos if it's not now, it's never. I can't have no friends, I must hang out now, cos later I can make it without them, now I need them. but I'm a girl with a pure heart, and I can't waste my talents. not on friends. but I can go and bacome a musician if that is what I am good at. and most important thing I must go to church. I must believe in god. I must hate my father. I must do what I want. I must follow the rules.

god I don't understand anything anymore, I don't know what to do and if doing anything is the right thing to do now. everyone seems to know what's right and what's wrong. everyone seems to know what I should do. but no one ever asked me what I want to do. what if I wanted to be alone? what if I f**** choosed that school cos I want to be a doc? what if I owe music my life, and it's not some kind of imposition? what if I just wanted it to end, so I can be who I am?

[kisstheviolets]

i'm effing done. so freakin' done with this broad it's not even funny.

i slept over the girl's place one night on my birthday weekend and we'd had a little morning fun, as we usually do. that night she went out with some people for a "friend's" birthday. they were renting a limo and going to strip clubs. that sort of thing doesn't really bother me. and i knew she spent the night at the "friend's" house because she texted me from there the following morning.

so imagine my surprise when i look at the "friend's" myspace page and see that she's posted a bunch of pictures from the birthday outing and half of them involve her and a* making out. wtf??

now, i know a* still goes on dates and stuff every once in a while. but she's made it clear to me that she wants to be with me, is not actively looking for someone else and is working on the commitment issues.

but hooking up with someone else in the same mothereffing day you slept with me?!?!?!? no freakin' way. it's tacky, rude, and makes me wonder what all i need to get tested for now (cause i saw the pictures of this "friend" and she is skankalicious).

i am just so pissed and hurt. and for the record, i hate myspace and the fact that it makes being a paranoid stalker so ridiculously easy.

ETA: i think we just broke up at lunch. she really seems to care less. bitch.

[jay/wt4evr]

I'm a honest person. really honest, the kind of person who always tells the truth, but not always tells everything. that's not lying, that's avoiding. ok lying. but I still haven't learnt to keep my mouth shut. like i should do sometimes. but, keeping my mouth shut would get me in trouble cos Id have to take things how they come, or just be submissive and never whine. not my kind. and, being honest doesn't pay back. you could say whatever you want and everyone would still understand what they want. worse, they would say you're a bitch cos...dunno why, cos they decided it.
so, let's take the middle way: 'do you really want me to answer?'
then again 'yes I do, why wouldn't you answer that'
f** great. so, always tell everything, but not the things that would hurt us. when I'll learn how to read minds I'll tell ya. or not, cos that would make you eposed to me. so I'll keep my mouth shut. not that's right. babbling. sorry

another thing on the list things that piss me off.
my mother. she always made innuendos everytime I was 'happy' about a girl, which means I mentioned her name more than twice. my ever rationalizing mind got it: my mother knows. good.
then, I never wanted to tell her about my love life cos, ew, and telling your mother hey I spent last year crying all over my self cos of my love, not on my top ten things to do.
so she told me that I don'ttrust her, that I want to shut her out my life and so on.
ok, came out to her. reaction? 'that's not true, you're too young to say that, I'm grown up and i still don't know who I am, how can you say what you are? too young' reply 'i had time to process all this, while you were doing your 'save the family' thing. so it's not something out of the blue, I had time and I realized that I am' so she told me that I want to make her feel guilty about leaving me growing alone, guilt trip, and again so on. nothing like that, and she knows that. well, I told her. if she twisted my words i don't know. what I know is that she doesn't believe me, which I don't blame her for, and that she wants me to change, which I can't stand.
enough, sorry

[JujuDeRoussie]

I'm fucking pissed at our family doctor. For the ast years he has made too many mistakes. But this last one is the second ones that could have had my mother killed!

In 2005 he kept saying that the pain in her hips and knees was due to a Sciatica. She had had two broken ribs the prior two months so she had to be careful with her moves. It is regular for persons suffering of broken ribs to then suffer of sciatica. Or so it's what we found. But then he kept her for a bit longer than 6 months under Anti-inflammatory and pain killers. When for the first one the longest time shouldn't be more than a month.
My godmother (a nurse) was pissed and kept asking my mother to check with another doc.

Now we've known this doc for the last 15 years. And we never had any trouble except me who has always found him responsible for something else. But that's another story.

My mother had had a breast cancer almost 6 years prior, and so she did mammo on a regular basis, but he never made her scans to check her bones, knowing very well that a breast cancer or hormonal cancer often metastaze on the bones.

And it is what had happened, after ffinally a scanner (oh well after many infiltrations and stuff like that, noticing that 6 months later there wer eno improvment, quite the contrary, he decided to do that).

So cancer, her hip bones in a very bad shapes, surgery to put titanium bars against her bones.... chimiotherapy and radiotherapy.

Now she is still under treatments, but for the cancer she has a cancerologist. Which is a good thing.

Lately one of her feet is sweeling. She went to the doc and everything.

Guess his diagnostic? Sciatica.

I'm not kidding.

My godmother had taken an appointment with a specialist she knows. The thing is in France since some years thank to a fucking reform, you have to have a prescription from your family doctor to go to a specialist except for some such as genycologist. Of course we had none, so my mother's insurance will surely not take fully charge of it.

Anyway, this specialist said it was a Phlebitis!

So it is fine, 8 days of treatment and she'll be fine. But if she had stayed on what the fucking bastard (and I'm not sorry for my "french") had said, she could have had a Pulmonary embolism!

This piss me off beyond reasn. My godmother is as pissed off as me. My mother is too.

Add to this two very wrong diagnosises the fact that he asked me to do a dangerous vaccine when my lifestyle clearl state that I am not at risk...

Well my godmother and I are thinking about sending a complaint to the Medecine Doctor Order. I think he has delayed his retirment fare toolong and should just back off before he actually kills someone if it is not already the case!

A very pissed Juju

[balveens]

**********EDITED TO READ******

Ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! WTF!?

WHAT

THE

F*CK

... i'm missing something here...

[Saena]

I am so screwed on so many levels.

This assignment for my writing class is going to kill me. I think it literally is going to come to life and murder me. It's not just that it's tough- the style is incredibly difficult, and most of us have never done anything like this before- but we really don't have enough time. We should have been starting this weeks ago, instead of getting together for the first time today. Especially with something this complicated and non-linear and non-straightforward and downright frustrating.

It's making me feel resentment toward a professor that I usually love, but I feel almost betrayed by her for doing this to us (even though it's not malintentioned or anything). How does she expect us to do this? Even if we spend another class session going over the style (as she's proposed we do), I'm not convinced it will be sufficient to prepare us for the demands she's making. We have no time for this, no experience, and it's not even an individual project- it's a full group effort. Everything is complicated when you make people work together. Schedules have to be coordinated, and ideas have to be reconciled, and you rely on other people to actually get the work done on time or nothing at all is accomplished. This is why I prefer to work on my own- more control.

I'm actually scared about this, and I don't think I can do it. Not with all my work for my other classes, with weekly readings and projects and teaching placements and the club I have to run and the friends whose events I promised to attend. It would be tough even with the work I have due for this class alone in the next month. We have to examine and evaluate the writer's market and choose a magazine to submit to by Sunday. We have to edit our second full-length story by May 3. We have at least 2 short stories to read per class meeting, and 2 of our peers' stories to read and critique per class meeting. Plus this assignment. WHERE DOES SHE THINK I'M GOING TO FIND THAT KIND OF TIME?!

I know I'll have to skip some of my teaching placements in the upcoming weeks, which I hate to do. It won't jeapardize my grades in my education classes- I have enough hours completed already- but I made a commitment to these kids. My first-grader who I tutor in reading is better off having me there to work with her. The girl who runs the after-school club I help out with needs me to control the kids, and those kids expect me to be there. I can't just decide not to follow through on that anymore. But it's like, what else is there to do? Something's gotta give. I could give up some of the stuff I'd planned with friends, but that's my only concrete source of free time, my only break from the constant workload. If I give that up, I risk stretching myself way too thin. I don't know what to do.

OK, so this wasn't a rant so much as a moment of intense panic put into words, but it's the best I can do. I just spent 15 minutes writing it that I could have been spent working, as well. :( See, even expression of feelings is now getting in the way of my productivity. Bummer.

Saena

[Zooeys_Bridge]

Saena:OK, so this wasn't a rant so much as a moment of intense panic put into words, but it's the best I can do. I just spent 15 minutes writing it that I could have been spent working, as well

Man, I so feel you

[Saena]

Man, I so feel you

Then you need a hug! *hugs*

Saena

[Guest]

This client has been going and on for days on how he does not want me to take up his case as he thinks my young age will play against him. He is also a fine adept at attentional ploys and this never fails to exasperate me. Today, he insisted that my own boss had stated that I have a lack of competencies specifically because of the age factor. When confronted with the veracity of his sayings, he started stammering before turning furious and letting me know that all our conversations had been taped and that he would be using it as evidence. I feel quite fed up with this form of mental manoeuvring which is a regular tool in use by our clients over here. Unfortunately/fortunately....I lost my temper well and truly today and am still the feeling the after effects of the surge of anger.

[JustSkipIt]

At my work, we have a new team leader. Now I somewhat feel that I can't legitimately complain because I so strongly did not want the job that I recommended him. I really, really, really did not want it.

And he's not a good team leader. He's too closed mouth and gives very little guidance and very little help. Everything is like 2 words with him.

Ok, so we've got this huge project to do. Five people working on 3 systems and it will take probably 2 years. One part is started, one part barely so, and one not at all. So three of us were talking the other day about the need to meet regularly which I think is imperative as do they. So in a meeting the other day, we mentioned it to the new team leader. No shit, he leaned back in his chair and kind of said, "hmmm..." a lot and said he would have to see if he has time. This is the most important and visible project the team has and he will see if he has the time? That's both crazy and stupid.

[jay/wt4evr]

Old scars, new wounds. What there will be left of me?

[Guest]

The 24/7 Hotline service has been bugging me all week-end. Phone calls are coming in from a single person at regular intervals throughout the day and night. An investigation into his ex-wife’s alleged prostitution habits has been fruitless and at our level, we certainly cannot park by her home all day and keep her under strict surveillance. In any case, he must be having some pretty sophisticated spying material at his place as the extensive amount of information provided is impressive....but always negative upon verification. I am itching to have his calls barred but naturally I cannot do that. It would be unethical.

*Huge sigh*

[kisstheviolets]

i just saw a fucking worm come out of my cat's ass (and yes, i know it's an egg sac and not the worm itself, but whatever). i am beyond grossed out. and if clinton's got it, then truman probably does as well (i ran away screaming before i could check). my sister-in-law got a kitten a couple of weeks ago and let's said kitten go outside. my cats are indoor only and are in the basement 24/7. they're not coming in contact with the infected fleas on their own. yet she's trying to act like this is somehow their fault. how the hell could it be? again, i say, they are indoor cats! hers is new and goes outside. do the fucking math!!!

so now i have to take tomorrow morning off of work to find a vet that will give me the meds for all three cats without me having to bring all three. one of my boys had worms about six years ago (from the one time he got outside). i fully remember what they look like. but every vet i called tonight said i'd have to bring in all three before they'd give me the pill. what a fucking racket.

i think i might ralph.

[JujuDeRoussie]

I am fuckingly pissed off.

About an hour and a half ago a storm started. It soon started to rain.
I went to my bedroom to stop a programm that was running on my laptop and turn it off. And I laid down and I fell asleep.
About an hour ago, at 6:08 pm exactly, my mother called me and woke me up. She was on the phone and I heard this horrible word: flood.

Once fucking again we're flooded. I just spent more than half an hour to sponge it and everything. We called the building's society. But of course at 6 o'clock the offices are closed, so we used the emmergency number. It is not an emmergency exactly, but it is the fourth time in 3 years...

The guy was condescending, disrespectful. He kept telling us "it is because the channels aren't clean blah blah blah". Then why on earth don't they clean them more often? It is always what they say.
So I was very pissed and I asked the phone at my mother. I talked to him. I said
"Listen, I know you can't do anything about it, but I would really appreciate if you didn't just write that down somewhere, your society needs to do something, the walls aren't waterproof. It has nothing to do with the channels. It is not even a hard rain, so what the hell? My mother is handicaped, I have back problems, and yet we will have to sponge because the society doesn't do its owner job."
I was going to add that one day it would kill someone because there is electricity running through those walls but the man, who I assume had just put the phone away from his ear while I was talking, told me
"I have to hang up Ma'am, I have other phone calls coming in."
and he did! Just like that.

So everytime they just write somewhere that the appart number something has been flooded, and that's it.
and I have to waste my time sponging. I have to waste my back. I am currently in pain, I can't take anything and I can't go to see a doctor.
I am crying so much I am pissed and in pain.
And nothing will be done about this building. Nothing. Why? 'Cause it is a "social building". Low costs appartments.
Poor people just have to take the responsabilities of richer people's laziness. They also think we're stupid and don't know what we're talking about.

I know we're supposed to move out soon to the house, btu frankly, I just want to make a war with them until they respect people living here.

I take better care of my rats.
They're cage is better taken care of.


I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Dorothy]

Can't you get someone to help you out? I would... but I can't, Amsterdam is way too far... but I bet there are more people willing to offer someone a helping hand when they need it

[jay/wt4evr]

I should be used to this. Just because I'm the dog-loyal-type of friend it doesn't mean that everyone around you is the same. Above all if they have a reason not to be. Forget the part where I have many reasons not to be like that. forget the part that I haven't had any reason to be that dog-like. Anyway I should just not get my hopes up cos I'm just gonna get hurt. As I always do. Is it that wrong to thikn that maybe, just maybe, I did something to deserve something more than a 'thank you' if I do the teacher role and explain them something they didn't understand? Is it wrong to be myself? Why do people always tell me I'm doing wrong? Being a teenager isn't quite right cos you can't be angry at world just cos of your age. Being responsible and reilable all the time isn't quite right cos you're not supposed to not have fun at that age. What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be? Most of the people I meet get tired of me cos they can't know me immediatly but have to search deeper. The only people who can do that knowing that it's normal are grown ups and such, but they don't even try cos, hello teenager. damnit. if you just look a little forward than your own eyes you could find out that I'm who you want me to be. then why not? what is wrong with me?

[umgaynow]

Everyone in the SSA should just die!!! I just got an e-mail from my lawyer that now they want ANOTHER freaking hearing...I applied in December of '05 have already had 2 denials and one hearing which this is the first response I have received for...fuckingGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Psy]

I think I just died a little inside.

Also: *breaks out the pom-poms* Who's a loser?! Who's a loser?! I am! \o\ I am! /o/

Goooo! Losah! \o/

yay.

[Dorothy]

aw, you're not a loser!

I am
why is it that this whole last week in everything I see, hear or do something traumatic from the past pops up in my brain
and why is it that I can't tell anyone what happened, just to get it outa my system and keep my mind from going over things a thousand times though I can't change anyway

grrr me hates world

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My mother asked me if I was okay, I said yes. She asked me what was wrong, I said I didn't want to talk about it. She asked if something had happened I said a couple days ago. How ironic, a day and a half ago what I had wanted so desperately to come true finally did, and now I'm finally down enough for my mom to notice. It's been 6 weeks and a day, and I've been broken every moment. I feel no worse now than I have all along. I guess today my façade's just failing.

[tarawhipped]

I hate the Chicago Transit Authority! After getting on a train soon enough after work to think that maybe...just maybe...I'll get home with no hassles, the train breaks down long enough to require it to express from 6 stops south of mine to the end of the line. So I get out and wait for the next train...which promptly gets delayed due to mechanical problems! Gahhhhh!

And fucking Mayor Daley thinks this city can accommodate the Olympics? Oh wait, he doesn't give a shit about the experience people have, as long as he and all his hack friends can force the rest of us to pony up the taxes for new infrastructure contracts that'll be auctioned off to his pals and will fall apart ten minutes after the world press leaves. I hate this city!

Mostly, I hate that I'm having to take the fucking CTA again because some jackass couldn't wait a minute for the car in front of him to turn left, so he veered into my goddamn lane and caused $3000 damage to my 2-months-shy-of-being-paid-off car! FUCKERS!!!

*deep breath*
Thank you, I feel better now.
-Cam

[littlewicca]

Fucking trains, they work so so bad sometimes that it pisses me off.

[Psy]

RANT!

Why is it, that I have to be the one to deal out advice when one of my friends developes a crush on another one of my friends?! How come no one ever gets a crush on me? Well, 'cept those two girls. One straight girl who freaked out on me (show of hands, who's surprised?). And a gay gal who was borderline psychotic/stalkerish.

*ponders that pattern*

Oh for frick's sake, I'm doomed.

[Dorothy]

if we start a rant on friends drooling all over eachoter and never getting any romance yourself I could write the book.
I'm unofficial matchmakergirl but haven't had a relationship in a year, and not a serious one in over 2 years. The couples I set up, however... most of them are currently still very much in love, one even for more than a year.

Me needs love too!
and not just the online worship from that sixteen year old boy that just needs my nerdiness becouse he can't fix his website by himself.

where all the nice girls go? heteroland?

[Psy]

RANT! Again.

Do I look like I work there? Am I wearing a blue shirt and khakis like all the other Walgreens employees or do you notice the solid black uniform with a badge and a name plate? Yeah. Next twit to ask me a stupid, Walgreens-related question is getting stabbed in the neck!

With a Walgreens pen, no less.

Poetic justice, my friends.

(I was in a bad mood.)

[jay/wt4evr]

What the hell was I thinking -IF I was really thinking- when I came out to my mother? Now whenever I ask her a question she wears that look and uses that voice that tells me 'I knew it, I told you. being a lesbian will only lead you to eternal desperation. I told you you were being too forward so back pedal and go to boy-land' damnit! I'm having a hard time, I'm asking you a question a girl would ask her mother if she has a crush and you tell me that it can't ever be? jeez! I was just asking if that behaviour was normal or if there could be anything behind it, not that I wanted to do god knows what to that girl! but no, let's tell the girl that has been your only anchor through these years that she's just being hopeless worse even stupid and tell her to go and find a nice and rich man to get married to and if she ever wants to ahve some experience in the 'other' field that she doesn't cos it would riun said marriage. well, let's tell you that, I don't need anymore experience than I already have had in both 'fields', and why are you being so stubborn, then you ask why I do those things? don't you realize that the things you say and the things you do hurt me? don't you know that I still am a child? I can be all grown up when you need e to be and then I'm a kid that needs to be sent to her room if I ask for a little more? more being having half of a life that people have at my age. I know it would be hard cos we live far from all of my friends, but all I am asking for is a litle trust, you know that I wouldn't ever do those things that scare you so much if only cos I really don't need anymore fucking up in my life, you know that I can't go to the disco so what's left my friends and you come and tell me that there's no one worth it, but damnit, I know who's worthy of my time like you put it, and it's notyour place to judge I just wish you saw what you're doing to me and I hope you stop soon if you love me as much as you say.

[Psy]

Why is there never any of the following in this house?

Food.
Rum.
Heat.
Sunshine.
Antacid.
AA batteries.
Scotch tape.
Duct tape.
Light bulbs (that last more than 2 days).
Ice.
Orange juice.
Juice in general.
Vinyl gloves.

meh. <_<

EDIT! Hey, jay (the younger... obvs), give her some time. At least she didn't like disown you. But still... regardless. I'm sorry she acted that way. *hugs*

[Dorothy]

I've got everything xcept the rum, do have loads of wine though... come over and get it