The Rant Thread

[jay/wt4evr]

When has everything got so fucked up? Just Saturday everything was going right, for once in my life everything was right...guess what they say is true, too good to be real. Why every smile has to be paid with tears and why every f** good thought can't last more that two seconds?
damnit

[LesbianJedi87]

Hanging on to the thought of me is just fucking STUPID. Leave me alone. It's never about you. Never at ALL. It's about HER. I guess you don't care enough to even think about it rationally. So carry on and I'll get back to my life.

[Psy]

meh.

I hate this time of day (night/morning?). No one's ever around.

[Dorothy]

I just HAVE to get this out, it's driving me nuts!
allright I like helping people
especially nice people...

But if you go around 2 years wanting to kill yourself for being a lesbian, giving it the ocasional try and come running to me after, while and/or before, weeping and complaining about how bad things are and how bad life is. Not EVER even TRYING to be strong, show some self dicipline, accept yourself or make things work...

IT GETS ANOYING

and I can't tell her because she's got the brain of a rat and...
I'm way too much a sucker for people who need me. I know she'll die or land in a nuthouse without me, that (almost) happened before and would be permanent if it weren't for me.

but the whole new anorexia thing is over the top, I know she can eat stuff if she tries, she's just being a weepy, sorry excuse for a weakling this way... demanding me to "fix it" or find someone that will cure her.

WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE?
I can only take so much, I love to help, I'm good at it, but it's not my fulltime job and there are others that need me too.

and have enough shit of myself to deal with, though I can't really believe I just admitted that.
I should be strong and walk away, but what if she dies while I could have prevented that...
have kept her from the railroad tracks before, really should learn not to save people who don't want to be saved and/or don't make the slightest efford to save themselves.

IT DOES NOT SAY SUPERHERO ON MY NAMETAG
*checks*
it really doesn't

[Psy]

Drama. First thing in the morning. I hadn't even woke up when it started.

How freakin' awesome! [/sarcasm].

[Willowtree252]

who in the hell puts cast on both feet at the same time taking a bath is hell pure hell.

[Psy]

Oh. My god! Drama! Everywhere! Drama! What the frickin' frack?!

I'm so not dealing with it anymore. None of it even involves me! And I'm beginning to suspect that none of my friends really would be there for me if it were the other way around. So... Fudge it! Fudge it all to hell!


Mmm... fudge.

[Dorothy]

fake friends are good for nothing, you need the real deal

once again with my own ranting now:
I did not get into art school. they just refused to accept me after a little chat (well, a little stutter that is) and a quick look at my stuff, they didn;t even ask me about most of it

this is SO BAD!

I wanted this for 9 years and now I blew it all.
I devoted my life to becoming a succesfull artist, creating the looks of theater and television shows was my dream and I gave up most of my spare time to build my curiculum and getting to know the people that could help me up the ladder...

I had this one goal in my shitty fucked up life that kept me going and now it's all over and I'm back to the no-one I was before highschool.
everybody tells me I'm useless and I can't get an acceptable future anyway.

I so feel like giving up now and the selfish part of me is really really angry that my friends know I'm in pain but choose to watch soccer instead of hear me complain.
allright, fair choice, it's an important match and they heard me out a couple of minutes before they exused themselfs and went all offliny-foosbal-geeky
but still the unfair childish selfcentered litthe bit of me doesn't like it! I would so blow off a game if they were hurting... Hell I even blew off an important test for one of them last month because I thought comfrting her was a more important thing to do

*goes on all angry ranting and looking for another goal in life after 9 years of thrying to go li ve the dream*

[Psy]

I honestly cannot say this enough.

I *hate* the frackin' desert.

[JustSkipIt]

Wow. I'm at the farm and posting in the rant thread and it's not about my SIL. What a shock.

Nope. My wife drives me crazy sometimes. Ok, most of the time these days.

What's the current thing? She's gone crazy about money or lack thereof. I work full-time and she's a SAHM. She has an evening job one night a week and then has a contract work-at-home job that was very good and then it dried up totally. Right now that work is about 2 hours a week which isn't very much money.

She's totally obsessing about money. We don't have any. We're poor. We live in poverty. Etc. The thing is that we don't live in poverty nor are we poor. I make a pretty good living (my guess is about 2.5 or 3X the Federal standard for poverty). We have all the things we need and many things we don't need but do want.

But she wants unlimited funds. She wants to get Broadway tickets and a Wii and everything she wants. She was raised with money and has never experienced not having it.

Yesterday she had the realization that her POV is based on having been raised with money which I thought would have been a good thing. Instead she just used that to say that it's not acceptable to her at all not to be able to buy whatever she wants and that she is a "screw-up" and a "failure." She said this constantly and in front of the kids.

Well, I think that's a pretty harsh thing to say about yourself in front of the kids or not. But I really don't like it in front of the kids because I don't want them to think that her being a SAHM is what makes her a failure and I don't want them to think that how much money they make will determine if they are a failure. So I talked to her. Very lovingly and very gently.

You can probably imagine how that went. She said that she won't say it in front of them but that her being a failure is not subjective. She says it's an absolute fact that we live in poverty and that she is a screw-up and that it's all her fault and that she won't say it but that she will feel it and I can't stop her even though I want to control what she say.

WTF? She is that committed to being a whiny baby and self-deprecating. So we don't have all the money in the world. Most people don't. My mother certainly didn't have enough money but I've never thought she was a failure. We've decided to keep our children at home and that's what's important and that's not a failure!

[Psy]

No! He died! George Carlin. He was my hero! I was gonna vote for him for Prez! (If I actually voted, that is. Yeah, I don't vote. It's pointless. There. I said it. [At least as far as the President is concerned].)

RIP George. You were awesome.

[thiswomanswork]

I hate hate hate scammers. With a passion. I don't care if they're from Nigeria or South Dakota. I hate them.

So, I'm trying to get a roommate, as many of you know. I thought I'd found someone, was working with them, things were looking good... and they were actually a scammer.

I caught on fast enough that they didn't get anything out of me (in fact, I'm happy to say they actually lost a little money on this), but they managed to string me along for long enough that I missed out on several potential (and presumably real) roommates. And now here I am, getting down to the wire, in great need of the financial relief that a roommate could bring... and I have to start over again. :( Grrr!

Anyway. Just had to vent. Frelling scammers.

[Dorothy]

rant-rant-rant
hate parents
RANT-RANT-RANT
even when they do nothing they can make me feel this small and stupid and useless
RANT RANT RANT




every day I try to snap out of it... but I'm still there

[Psy]

Rant1: Oh puhlease, don't get all indignant and hurt on me, you asked, I answered. It's not like you would give a shit if it was me in your position. Just be glad I'm even responding to you at all after everything.

Rant2: Did I mention I hate the desert? Cuz I do. I really, really do.


ETA: ARGH! I JUST DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT! (Re: Rant1.)

[Candleshoe]

Any chance of the weather letting up for a bit? Just a couple of days of summery weather would do me, I'm not fussy...

[jay/wt4evr]

Ok, that's it. I'm not ever gonna cross paths with a black cat. Wednesday evening my mom almost ran over one with the car. after that everything got messed up. I never, NEVER, get the fever. Like, I'm in a snow storm? No fever. Now that it's summer, there are like 40°C outside, and I managed to get the fever. And not just a little temperature. human body is usually 35-36°C, I'm 38°C. and I should be leaving tomorrow afternoon. damnit.
Plus, why everytime I mention the Board, my mom says 'I should ground you, no pc for anything else than school'.
she says that I should go out more. One, we live in the countryside meaning almost an hour by bus. One hour of bus, two hours of hangin out one hour of bus. Plus going home at 1 in the afternoon with 40°C in the shadows, walking all the way whoch is about 700m. Ok, I coud go with my mom by car early, but she doesn''t want me hanging around all day at her office. cos, who's the teenager that goes out at 8 in the morning? no one. then I'd have to stay in the office for about two hours. BUT, after I can't have lunch with my friends cos she wants me to come home with her. that makes two hours of doing nothing, one hour and half of hanging out and then back at home.
so, no social life, but the Board. why does she want to take it away when it's my safe place?
shit. and lot of it.

[kisstheviolets]

there's a couch i really want on craigslist but the woman won't hold it for me. and i'm at work and can't get away to pay her to do so. and my brother is moving his family's stuff today and can't pick it up until after he finishes later today and it might be gone by then. ugh.

and basically, all of this moving shit is stressing me out. i leave for ten days tonight(!!!) and the bar is one month from sunday! and i'm so not prepared.

i am about to lose my shit.

ETA and continue RANT:
i took an early lunch yesterday so i could drive out to this lady's place and pay her for the couch so she'd hold it until my brother could go pick it up with the moving truck. he ended up taking all fucking day, didn't seem to care about going to pick it up and she finally called and said that she and her husband were leaving and they'd have to put the couch outside until we could pick it up.

now, i needed to be at the airport at 910. and could my brother or sister-in-law take me as they'd agreed to? uhm, no because they poorly timed their move and had virtually nothing done. so i had to spend $25 to take a cab. then i land in philly a bit ago for my layover only to find a voicemail message from my sister-in-law stating that they went to pickup the couch (at 11 at night!!) and its not there. not outside. not anywhere.

now it's 630am here in philly and 330am in portland so i can't call either my family or the couch lady and be like WTF? i have to freaking wait in agony to find out if i've just lost $100 bucks.

i seriously do so much for my brother and sister-in-law and the one time i ask them for something they totally let me down.

[Candleshoe]

That sounds like a total pain in the posterior, ktv. I hope it was all sorted out?

I've just been to my parents for lunch - the first time I've seen them since I came back from my holiday - but my parents haven't asked me anything about it at all. Not one word. Why? Because I went to see The Other Half, and they are refusing to acknowledge her existence.

[Foomatic]

I fucking hate fucking doing shit that I don't fucking want to do.

[Psy]

I hate the mall. I hate the heat. I hate driving around all over fucking town looking for a movie and not finding it. I hate being tired (and by tired, I mean borderline dead). I hate the mall. I hate everyone else on the road. I hate tweeny-boppin' girls who hang out at the mall. I hate emo boys who hang out at the mall. I hate the mall. I hate this new wrist band I bought at the mall. I hate my contacts. I hate the hell-like heat. And...

I hate the mall.

[Willowtree252]

let me join you I hate the mall takes a lot to get me there BUT I really hate going to the gynecologist but I will but only for one reason and one reason only.

[Dorothy]

once again I'm close to hitting rock bottom so got out to find some help...

and once again said "helper" starts with the whole "you're such a strong woman to have overcome all those things at your age and still managing to live a selfsuporting life all by yourself" thingy

Hellowww! NOT the thing I was asking for!
If I want sympathy I'll fake a suicide attempt, probably works a hell of a lot better. I asked for help!

But appearantly "strong inteligent women" are not to receive any help when they are bravely strugling not to drown in crap

Most people with a past like mine become either whiny old people living a lifetime of rolling around in their self/missery ór agressive, bad moody people that are angry at the whole world and end up hurting others physicaly and-or mentally.

was NOT planning on either, been spending $±:&$`±:#$&%(()( the past three years building my future and working out as many issues as possible but I gotta do that all on my M*TH*RF*CK*NG own and not only growing litteraly sick and tired of it, but a whole lotta burned out and depressed too.

[writerfreak]

I'm so glad that you chose to abandon me and not even acknowledge my existence here. So incredibly glad. It showed me where my true friends do stand. Glad that I'm sitting here finally with a reprieve for a few precious moments of fighting for my wife's life, just to tell you that I am so glad you walked away. Do you hear my sarcasm at all? I was there do you know that. You needed me and I was there. I always listened when you talked and I did everything I could for you. We are both independant so though I could have done more I didn't. For your sake. I found out what happened by the way, I told you I would. I try my best to actually do what I can to keep my word, and be there for my friends. However things come up up sometimes. I've not done anything wrong. You however, will have to live the rest of your life knowing that you abandoned your best friend in her time of need. Rachel is dying, and you walked away. My past is repeating itself, and you walked away. Rachel has cancer, just like Addie did. One time I needed you, and you walked away. All I have to say is thank you, for not being who I thought you were. Good to know now.

writerfreak

[jay/wt4evr]

Great, to make fun of me again what did the universe plan?
My mother, after hearing me sneeze my ass off cos of dust, saying 'are you ready? cos we leave in one hour and half'. Just after lunch, full knowing that I have car sickness and we're going to the mountains, so turns, many of them, only the thought makes me sick in the stomach. and this is why? cos she's stressed. ok, whatever, go and bring your husband with you! I hate going to the mountain, plus when she's nervous she gets mad at everything, and I mean, I fidget and hey! stop that cos it's absolutely fucking making me nervous. she nervous means me nervous, and the two of us together nervous isn't a good thing. nope no siree, cos I have very little tolerance, ok she's my mother and I have to listen to her, but after I've spent hours in the dust to which I am allergic and I sneeze, if she says that it makes people nervous and yells at me, excuse me but I get pissed off. me pissed off plus nervous mother. bad, really bad.
shit I hate the mall. and mountains.

[Psy]

Meh. I don't want to go out. Can't I just lay about like a lazy sod on one of my days off?

[LesbianJedi87]

Living with MEN SUCKS! Gay men even! Aren't they supposed to be like, cleaner? How can you stand going three days without showering?! How can you stand having your gross ass hair all over the place and leaving your dirty laundry laying around? Why am I DOING THE DISHES? Good GOD what the hell was I getting myself into?!

This is MY computer and NOT your personal "let me stick random ass programs for a Mac and download a 22 gig file just cause" computer. I am NOT your maid and I'm fucking ALLOWED to be by myself and read if I see fit. But oh nooo I'm not allowed to make a facial expression without being called a bitch. Riiiiight.

Not being able to sit here and browse without being bothered or blogging is ANNOYING.
FUCKS SAKE. And I have to listen to them screw?! Wth. It's your house but as a lesbian, the thought of two men banging away at each other is almost as disgusting as the thought straight people banging as well. Def no offense to anyone here...but gaaaaaaaaah.
/end rant
One more month and I'm out of here.

[mmmh-Hot-Sauce]

why the fuck at three o'clock in the morning is there no where to park at a hospital!! its three o'clock in the fucking MORNING!!!

[Paint the Sky]

What the fuck is wrong with the dickheads I work with that no matter what you are told to do there has to be debate that denegrates into argument.

There is never a consensus of opinion, there is always snottery bastard that isn't happy unless things are done their way. And, usually the cowardly fuckers that I work with, all back down until this asswipe gets their way.

What's worse is the supervisor, who couldn't make a decision if his worthless life depended on it, and who agrees with the majority, does the same fucking thing.

I swear, it's no wonder I feel like taking them all out with an AK47.

Thanks for listening, I feel better now

[whatmakesyouhappy]

ooh good golly I went and had my eyes checked and ended up with glasses! which it's a bad thing but when I put them on I swear I look 12 years old! I'll have to make sure I have ID with me all the damn time

[Guest]

His opinion can no more host any form of value in my eyes; especially now that he is getting more and more fixated on inflexible mindsets. It's a good thing he never made the effort to develop a proper relationship with his own kin.