A Moment of Truth

[JustSkipIt]

I bet I'd be less horny all the time if I read less fan fic. Is there a more mature word for horny? I'm 42. Maybe it's ... hell, I don't know.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

I have noticed that remaining humble has been a bit challenging for me nowadays. I gotta put myself in check! I refuse to lose my humility.

[Emms]

I spent the most amazing week of my life with the most amazing woman (and she's a Kitten too!) on the face of the earth. She makes me so happy and I am so in love with her. And what's even more amazing is that she loves me too and in 8 weeks we will be starting the rest of our lives together.

Just when I was beginning to think that all my relationships were doomed and that I would never find "the one" she walked into my life and made everything magic.

I love you, Jen.



xoxo
Emms

[waitnsee]

I love you too, my sweet Emmy. This past week has been amazing, and you have totally changed my life. You've made me happier than I ever though I could be, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life making you feel the same.

I love you so much!
And I love the Kitten board for bringing us together!

Jen

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

Big ups to you Jen and Emms! I may not know y'all personally, but believe me when I say I am happy for you guys. It always makes me happy knowing others are happy. Best wishes to both of you chicas!

Mucho paz y amor!
Much peace and love!
Jen

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

I am not scared! I feel so much peace. If for some reason you are lurking to claim me please know that I am ready. Are you near? I feel your presence. I don't know why but I do.

[Hidden In You1023]

In the span of a week, so much has changed. I've met the perfect person for me...To say I'm falling for him would be the understatement of the year...because he has literally ripped down every wall I had up and set up permanent residence in my heart...

[Willowtree252]

I spent the most amazing week of my life with the most amazing woman (and she's a Kitten too!) on the face of the earth. She makes me so happy and I am so in love with her. And what's even more amazing is that she loves me too and in 8 weeks we will be starting the rest of our lives together.

Just when I was beginning to think that all my relationships were doomed and that I would never find "the one" she walked into my life and made everything magic.

I love you, Jen.



xoxo
Emms

I am so happy for the two of you Emms the kitten board has changed so many lives. May the road to your future be bright and full of love an happiness.

[Nue]

sometimes I feel so lost... like I´m still wandering through life... and feeling like this sucks... the only thing I´m sure about is: everytime I look at her beautiful sleeping face, I feel that my place in this world in right in her arms...

[ScottishAsh]

I always wonder how my mind gets so full of messy thoughts when things in life cause chaos and i hope every time that if i ignore whats wrong, then it will go away. Weeks of sitting on the side lines waiting for things to get better and the truth i have found in the last few days is that i was only making things harder and worse for myself. Now im trying to sort it out and i feel free, my mind is clear and im actually writing my ass off on a new project, something i haven't been able to do in months.

[jay/wt4evr]

I can't flip pancakes.
And I'm shitscared about 'leaving the nest'.

[Guest]

"If our shadows could talk,
They would tell us...

That we are as precious as a million pounds of gold...
That our brightest light can shine only when we have accepted our darkness...
That there is wisdom in every wound...
That there is a greater future waiting for us...
That we are children of God and have a right to be here...
That we were all created equal...
That our pain is not personal but belongs to every man and woman alive...
That Life is a magical journey of making Peace
With both our Humanity and our Divinity...

It would tell us that we deserve better...
That we matter...
That we are more powerful than we ever dreamed possible...
And that there's a light at the end of the tunnel...
That there is nobody in the world quite like you...

What if you knew in every cell of your body,
That you were living a Divine Plan...
A Plan so important, and vital for the evolution of humankind...

What if you knew that everything that was happening right now,
That doesn't fit your ego ideal,
Is happening to support you in stepping out of the smallness
Of your darkest thoughts...
And into the brilliance of your biggest Dream"

~ Debbie Ford (from the movie, "The Shadow Effect")

[Guest]

A reminder for myself:

Things do not happen as they are meant to be. Things happen as they happen because they were "intended" so. Intent leads to creation. We are creators of our own lives and events do not happen in the highest good until we intend and create the highest good.

[HalfCamel]

Every time I sign in I automatically look at the "messages" section. I honestly don't know why when I know exactly what it'll say.

[HalfCamel]

I think I'm ready to start dating again. Maybe it's because I left my super-stressful, all-my-time-consuming job and now have time for myself? Or... I don't know. Now I'd like a date, to connect. My problem is it's never been easy for me to ask anyone out so I feel like I'll never get one. GAH! Date? Yes, please.

[Nue]

I havew a job interview today... one of my former supervisor told me to do it, cause he thinks I´ll take the job... everyone thinks I´ll take this job...

but I don´t want this job... I don´t want to work there anymore, no matter how good I am... why don´t they transfer me like I really want?

I just wanna go home...

[JujuDeRoussie]

The last time my mom was conscious with me in the room, I had to physically restrain her. It is haunting me. I remember the surprising strength she still had, the look on her face of disbelief and anger, the stinging words and accusations. I know that she wasn't herself anymore, and I was only restraining her from hurting herself by tearing away IVs and other things. I know her brain was already too damaged for her to have been aware of her behavior, and for her to understand what was happening. But it still haunts me. I say I'm fine, and I mostly am. But if I'm always so tired, it is because of this haunting scene replaying in my mind, over and over again.

[aurorabored]

At twenty four years old, I finally have had enough stability to figure out who I am and that has turned my world upside down. It is weird how something can finally make you feel like you belong in your own skin, yet turn all external stability into complete chaos. In the past three months, I have decided against pursuing my PhD in social welfare in order to focus on my writing. I work in the mental health field, I do therapy among other things, and yet, I've realized that I have lived solely for other people and have never allowed myself to be honest with myself. I have came out to my godmother. Now, I just need to get the courage to come out to my best friend. The man I married.

Everyone tells me how together I am, how intelligent, and resilient, but really? I'm just a coward who puts on a brave face.

[Guest]

I feel exhausted of hearing my father telling me for the millionth time that:

- A young woman shouldn't drive alone at night in the poverty clusters where she work.

- A young woman shouldn't talk to strange men if the area is deserted.

- A young woman should take him, the father, with her in her car when she has to work in a cluster at night.

I ask the Universe to please grant me my wish to get out of this place. NOW. Thank you. Amen.

[woahnellie]

everytime i try to come out to my parent's i get nervous and afraid and I don't know what to say

[morningstar]

I usually don't post and for the past three months in my life I have been more silent than ever before. I simply don't speak if I don't believe that others are listening/paying attention in a group of 30 people.

I made a decision in 2006 that I would join the army. I went to college because my parents demanded I do so before joining (I was not 18 so they still had some say of what I do. Though I take responsibility I could have still managed to get into the program I am currently in, just would have made things harder)

So now as a 21 year old and a college graduate, I am finally doing what I promised myself I would do as a 16 year old.

Thing is that the program that was supposed to take care of everything... is taking their sweet time in taking care of what needs to be taken care of.

I watch the others in the program get so frustrated and start saying that they don't even feel like doing the army anymore or that their motivation has dropped so much, and most are taking some time off to go back to the US to visit their family. They are not even in the position that I am in they are at least three step ahead in the process which for some reason got stalled in my case.

I feel ridiculously frustrated as well. Because for over a month my process has not even moved forward one step, while the people in charge lied to me and said that they were working on it.

But the thought to not do the army. Never crossed my mind once. Ever.

So when push really came to shove, I am still here and still determined to do my service. Better yet I am not having my parents call the directors to complain about what is going on.

Instead I am fully 100% dealing with it on my own, setting a meeting up with the director to speak plainly about how they are seriously screwing me over and telling my lies.

Even with the frustrations I am still determined as ever to join.

that feels great

[Nue]

mother is going to the hospital today for the twentieth time in three months, to see if it will be necessary to do the surgery now or they will try to reduce the tumor with chemotherapy ... I talked to her yesterday, and I was impressed with her voice ... I was so scared of her all my life and now I do not know what to do ... I intend to visit her with my girlfriend in 15 days, but I'm very scared ...

[Weaselbee16]

I give her everything I can, not material things, but everything I can as a person, and sometimes I feel like it's not enough. She's been upset the last couple of weeks. She tells me it's not my fault, and she doesn't know why she's sad. I think it is my fault, and she just doesn't want to tell me.

I'm scared

[Nue]

I know I don´t have a normal and healthy relantionship with my mother... But she´s sick... very sick... and I´m scared, cause I don´t wanna lose her... afterall, she´s my mother... without her, I wouldn´t be here...

I don´t know what to think anymore... I feel numb...

[HalfCamel]

I'm stressing and nervous. I am going to start looking for another job this week and all these negative thoughts are coursing through my head. I know, sort of, in what direction I want move in but the thing that sticks out is "what if I can't find anything? Then what?" Tonite I reached out to one of my contacts and tomorrow I am reaching out to two more, so I sort of have the ball rolling. My first stop is the State... see what they have open. I don't want to work 80-100 hours a week, six days a week anymore; I did that for four years.

Also, I took six months off to play "catch up" with my life and the time I've had has made me realize that I am missing something from my "life". My life use to be work work work aaallll the time. I wasn't living. And now I want to but... *Sigh* I don't know. All this "catching up" has me confused and lost and confronting who I am. I feel like a fraud... stuck... aimless... dispirited...

[fhiwda]

Thoughts race through my mind. I love to just sit and watch her. When she talks, the little things captivate me. The way her nose moves when she pronounces certain sounds...the way her hands gesture as she starts to get excited about the story she is telling or the debate she is getting herself wrapped up in...That laugh! The REAL laugh! When she throws her head back and lets the musical sounds of her laughter out, I can see the vibrations in her throat and chest. Her smile creates perfect dimples and reaches her eyes. Those EYES! The perfect shade of Hazel! They are full of truth. Happiness radiates off of her infecting everyone around. Maybe some day I will tell her all of this. For now, I'm content with just watching.


OMG! Even her ears are adorable....I think I might be in trouble. Never agree to be roomies with someone you could potentially fall for.

[Nue]

I have to write... I have to keep myself busy, so I won´t think about anything... I´m tired and I want to sleep for a whole century...
I jump everytime my phone rings... I´m scared all the time, I´m angry all the time... I´m lost...

[Laragh]

He's sick. He's really, really sick. Dying. They all think he's going to survive, but he's not. I know and he knows. But no one else does. Should I tell them?

Is it better for them to be prepared for his death and live with the knowledge everyday until he does pass or to be blindsided by it but not living with that crippling horror of his impending passing like I am?

It's his decision really. I know I need to let him decide who knows. But can I live with myself if I do?

[CrazyTaraWitch]

For the last couple weeks, frequently when I close my eyes I see Germany. This happened to me a lot the first few months after my ex ended things, but then it got so much better and now it's back and it hurts, not as much as it did at first but more than I think it should after all this time. Today when I woke up, Pheobe's Christmas song from Friends was stuck in my head from out of nowhere, and it hurt so much because my ex and I used to sing it randomly all the time and I wanted to share it with her but of course I can't.

My truth is I still miss her, and I'm still not okay. My life, the good things that have come to me in the last 8 months, the moments of happiness I increasingly have, they aren't exactly lies but they're not the whole story, not by a long shot.

My truth is I wonder if it will ever stop hurting entirely, if I'll ever completely stop missing her and the life we had.

My biggest truth is I'm not sure I want to stop missing what made me happiest, because even though it hurts to remember and ache for what was, every now and then just for a second it's like I'm back there.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

I am such a Grinch!!! Don't get it twisted though I don't go around causing havoc. You can say I have the "Christmas spirit" all year round. I am all about the people, but never about me during this time. One day I hope to work on myself more to change that. I am all about the Christmas blues and wanting to be left alone. I tend to hide. I either work on purpose or hide out somewhere. One year I stayed at a nice hotel all by myself to avoid the holiday. I love my friends dearly. They are the family I never had no doubt, but when I see them interact with their families it kills me. I don't get warm fuzzy feelings. It hurts me because I never had that growing up. I don't have that to call my own now. No blood family whatsoever. My mother who lives on I haven't seen or spoken to in 2 years now. I don't see that changing anytime soon. I am not a proud person, but I will no longer take any abuse from her. I have plenty of places to go to. Plenty of people to be with. So sad that I choose to be all alone. Will I ever change that?